conversation..?

[diizy]

Hey all,

I love this forums and all you guys provide. I used to come here to get great help on how to talk to girls, whilst i've never had any problem talking to them, one thing that i do have issues with is continuing conversation.
Personally i never do approaches, i mostly get approached by girls as i dj at clubs and such, so it's easier for me as they approach me.
Anyways, last night I was approached maybe 5-6 times. For the most part I just have a nice little conversation or chitchat to see whatsup and whats going on. Or if they are interesting we'll chat about music as thats what i'm all about, otherwise its just like empty talk, and kind of dies off. Which ****ing sucks, or like JUST right after i finish talking to them, i'll come up with a great thing i should have said.

Can anyone guide me or give me advice on simply conversing with ladies.



Thanks!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Have you tried talking about one another instead of just things?

 

[WC2]

One of the hardest things men have a problem doing is being themselves around women. There are plenty of blueprints and tactics on this board that involve saying things you never would say in a real context and acting differently towards women than you would the rest of your day.

I disagree with all these theories.. if you want to be different towards women, you first must change YOURSELF as a person. If conversations are empty, maybe you just don't have that much going in your life to talk about (I'm not making any assumptions here). If you still have the mindset that "damn I should've said that to her," then you're not really on the right path. Women will like you for who you are, not who you are projecting yourself to be.

Guys always come asking what they should talk about to women, and the answer is simple. Let them talk about them and you tell them a little bit about you. Sure, it helps to make the conversation fun, but don't stray away from yourself.

There's a book I once read that said always live "leaning over your edge". In other words, imagine the risks you take as a knife's edge. When you do something you'd never do in your life, you're totally off the edge. When you're doing the same everyday things, you're standing on the edge. But if you're taking considerable risks, but still coming back to your homebase every once in awhile, you're LEANING over your edge. Sounds very elementary and redundant, but it's helped me immensely. When people say just "be yourself" they mean it, but don't really tell you what they exactly mean. It means be yourself, but improve yourself by taking risks and coming back to your base. This is the best way to self-improve without being totally off the wall (taking unnecessary and stupid risks that really don't help).

Anyways, I know it seems offtopic, but it really isn't. The heart of a conversation is who YOU are. Improve that person and I promise you the conversation and confidence will improve as well.

Lastly, I recommend doing at least a few approaches. Approaching is not only good to learn for women, but also good to learn to improve yourself and how you approach others.