When I was younger and perhaps a tad more arrogant, I had a saying:
"Modesty is for those of modest capabilities." I knew I was hot ****, and I didn't fail to let anyone know.
Only problem is I came across as a prick. Outright bragging is no good.
But does that mean we should swing the other way on the spectrum to graceful modesty? NO!
People can have a hard time finding things to talk to with girls. They mumble about boring stuff like the weather and television. And all the while, everyone's got *something* unique and interesting that they should be sharing with the world. But they don't want to come across as bragging. How to do it?
Me, I like stories. So do lots of other people, and I don't claim to have come up with the idea of storytelling. But here's how I do it:
I know my story, inside and out. I was there, and I might take creative liberties, but I know what those creative liberties are already.
Then, I'm not "in a rush" to tell my story. I'll start on it, and if it branches somewhere else, great! I can come back to it later, if it suits me, or not, if not.
Some people get caught up with "getting to the end" of their story. They think the punchline or moral of the story is what it's all about, and they rush to get there like they're late for work.
Don't do that. Enjoy the process, my friend. Every bit of a story should contribute something and be interesting in some way. The punchline isn't the end-all, be-all.
Be smoooooooooooth. Relax, and build the pace slowly. Until you've got a reputation (like Chris Rock or George Carlin) it's the frame and relationship you have that makes a story funny.
One of my friends owns his own business, and he's constantly having crazy adventures. When I see him and we're having a beer and watching the game, he just jumps right into the newest insane thing that happens. But, if anyone else is in the room, he'll do buildup stuff first. He'll say deadpan to me, "My warehouse burnt down" and it's ****ing hilarious (and terrible, and I feel bad in a moment- but he's a lighthearted guy and makes sport of it). His business is volatile at times, and I know it. But if he'd just met someone and started to tell that story, he'd do the buildup, talk a little about the company, and go from there.
NEVER STATE OUTRIGHT! Don't say "She was beautiful". Say, "She was 6'2, with curves like ..." while drawing an hourglass in the air with your hands. "brunette hair falling halfway down her back, and sparkling eyes that were totally alive. Mmm-dayum, I get chills just thinking of her."
That paints a picture in their mind. Much better than, "I was with this beautiful girl."
Storytelling itself can convey good things about you. You'll see intelligent and witty if you tell a good story, even if there's no deep point. But, in the story, you can make all sorts of good points.
But how to do it without bragging? Same way you did describing the girl. Show it.
I'll give an example. The following story is true, and I've been telling it near-verbatim recently with girls I just met.
"Y'know, had you met me a week ago, I'd have been a different man."
This gets them curious, sucks them in a little. They always ask why or how.
"I had long, highlighted blond hair down to my shoulders..." I touch my shoulders as I'm saying this, demonstratively. "...and was wearing diamond earrings." I touch my pierced, earringless earlobes.
Now, I look pretty clean-cut right now. I've got short, dark hair and a tight-jawline beard. You'd never guess me for having looked so playboyish a week ago, and that's why I can get away with mentioning diamonds straightup: It takes a back seat to them trying to imagine me looking totally different.
At this point, most women blink a few times, and say, "No way...." or some such. Some ask what happened, and some say nothing and just let me continue without a word. Still, I allow them a half-second or so to give me some feedback, then continue:
"I'm changing my life. I was a professional gambler, but no longer. Can't handle the life any more."
At this point, often we'll get off-track, WHICH IS GOOD! Many women will mention something about a relative or friend of theirs who gambles. Some will mention something about making life-changes themselves. Some will ask what I'm doing now.
From now on, the story is flexible, and where it goes depends on the specific girl. Sometimes, she'll ask what it was like to be a gambler, and I'll go like this:
"It was amazing. I love the blend of mathematical and social skills. You need to know the math, the odds, what bets are worth calling... but you need to be able to read people, too."
One girl, at this point, said, "You can read people? I never really could." to which I shrugged. She then asked, "What do you read in me?" I cold-read her well at that point, saying she was mostly a good person, but had a bad streak she tried to hide. She was a little bored and looking for more excitement. Et cetra.
So, it goes off. A couple of times I've been asked why I quit.
"Well... I don't know. The food in casinos is really good, and the drinks are always smooth. But... I just can't be around those type of people any more. Some of 'em are really decent folk, but others..." At this point, I do a "**** it" shrug. You know, imagine you're saying, "Eh... **** it" and shrugging. That shrug.
All of my better male friends and some of the more perceptive girls I've told this story to insist that there must have been something specific to get me to quit something I so obviously enjoy. I then continue with what happened (after having it "beat out" of me - I'm not trying hard to get this out; sometimes it gets told, sometimes not).
"Well, alright, I'd been playing at a Foxwoods No Limit table. The guy to the left of me had made a really complicated bet [if I'm speaking to a gambler, I detail what happened with a side pot situation] and when the cards came down, the dealer made an error and gave ninety-two dollars of his money to someone it didn't belong to.
I called a pit boss over to the table and argued for the guy, and eventually he got his money.
And you know what...? He didn't even thank me. Not one thank you. I mean, ****, if someone had saved me a hundred bucks, I'd probably buy them dinner, or at least a drink... or damn, I'd thank them!" At this point, the person's agreeing with me.
"But that wasn't it. He lost most of his money in a couple more hands, but survived... with about a hundred dollars. He took that money and doubled it, then quadrupled it, and doubled it again until he had eight times it in front of him.
He then used it to attack me, and took eight-hundred dollars from me on one hand. [If the person is a gambler, I tell them that it was JJ against 44, then the flop came down J64rainbow and I misread him for AJs]. So, as I go to get up from the table, totally stunned, none of the people I had been carrying on with pleasantly for the last few hours said goodbye to me. I... I don't know. I can't be around people like that any more."
It's a good story. It can go a lot of places, and it'll open a lot of loops in the process. Girls can key into whatever part they like about it. If they're out for a risk-taker, they can focus on the gambling. If they're looking for a champion of justice, that's me too. If they want a badboy, hey, that's me. If they want a good guy, well, that's what I am now.
A story like this lets her know the real me, and I've noticed that people tend to focus on what's important to them. In my story above, I give her a lot of stuff that she can pick out if she likes that particular thing, and many conversations can go from there. The most "braggardly" things in the story are small elements of a larger picture that's about my choice of company and lifestyle.
Game on.
Dimitri
http://www.rapidsocialimpact.com
"Modesty is for those of modest capabilities." I knew I was hot ****, and I didn't fail to let anyone know.
Only problem is I came across as a prick. Outright bragging is no good.
But does that mean we should swing the other way on the spectrum to graceful modesty? NO!
People can have a hard time finding things to talk to with girls. They mumble about boring stuff like the weather and television. And all the while, everyone's got *something* unique and interesting that they should be sharing with the world. But they don't want to come across as bragging. How to do it?
Me, I like stories. So do lots of other people, and I don't claim to have come up with the idea of storytelling. But here's how I do it:
I know my story, inside and out. I was there, and I might take creative liberties, but I know what those creative liberties are already.
Then, I'm not "in a rush" to tell my story. I'll start on it, and if it branches somewhere else, great! I can come back to it later, if it suits me, or not, if not.
Some people get caught up with "getting to the end" of their story. They think the punchline or moral of the story is what it's all about, and they rush to get there like they're late for work.
Don't do that. Enjoy the process, my friend. Every bit of a story should contribute something and be interesting in some way. The punchline isn't the end-all, be-all.
Be smoooooooooooth. Relax, and build the pace slowly. Until you've got a reputation (like Chris Rock or George Carlin) it's the frame and relationship you have that makes a story funny.
One of my friends owns his own business, and he's constantly having crazy adventures. When I see him and we're having a beer and watching the game, he just jumps right into the newest insane thing that happens. But, if anyone else is in the room, he'll do buildup stuff first. He'll say deadpan to me, "My warehouse burnt down" and it's ****ing hilarious (and terrible, and I feel bad in a moment- but he's a lighthearted guy and makes sport of it). His business is volatile at times, and I know it. But if he'd just met someone and started to tell that story, he'd do the buildup, talk a little about the company, and go from there.
NEVER STATE OUTRIGHT! Don't say "She was beautiful". Say, "She was 6'2, with curves like ..." while drawing an hourglass in the air with your hands. "brunette hair falling halfway down her back, and sparkling eyes that were totally alive. Mmm-dayum, I get chills just thinking of her."
That paints a picture in their mind. Much better than, "I was with this beautiful girl."
Storytelling itself can convey good things about you. You'll see intelligent and witty if you tell a good story, even if there's no deep point. But, in the story, you can make all sorts of good points.
But how to do it without bragging? Same way you did describing the girl. Show it.
I'll give an example. The following story is true, and I've been telling it near-verbatim recently with girls I just met.
"Y'know, had you met me a week ago, I'd have been a different man."
This gets them curious, sucks them in a little. They always ask why or how.
"I had long, highlighted blond hair down to my shoulders..." I touch my shoulders as I'm saying this, demonstratively. "...and was wearing diamond earrings." I touch my pierced, earringless earlobes.
Now, I look pretty clean-cut right now. I've got short, dark hair and a tight-jawline beard. You'd never guess me for having looked so playboyish a week ago, and that's why I can get away with mentioning diamonds straightup: It takes a back seat to them trying to imagine me looking totally different.
At this point, most women blink a few times, and say, "No way...." or some such. Some ask what happened, and some say nothing and just let me continue without a word. Still, I allow them a half-second or so to give me some feedback, then continue:
"I'm changing my life. I was a professional gambler, but no longer. Can't handle the life any more."
At this point, often we'll get off-track, WHICH IS GOOD! Many women will mention something about a relative or friend of theirs who gambles. Some will mention something about making life-changes themselves. Some will ask what I'm doing now.
From now on, the story is flexible, and where it goes depends on the specific girl. Sometimes, she'll ask what it was like to be a gambler, and I'll go like this:
"It was amazing. I love the blend of mathematical and social skills. You need to know the math, the odds, what bets are worth calling... but you need to be able to read people, too."
One girl, at this point, said, "You can read people? I never really could." to which I shrugged. She then asked, "What do you read in me?" I cold-read her well at that point, saying she was mostly a good person, but had a bad streak she tried to hide. She was a little bored and looking for more excitement. Et cetra.
So, it goes off. A couple of times I've been asked why I quit.
"Well... I don't know. The food in casinos is really good, and the drinks are always smooth. But... I just can't be around those type of people any more. Some of 'em are really decent folk, but others..." At this point, I do a "**** it" shrug. You know, imagine you're saying, "Eh... **** it" and shrugging. That shrug.
All of my better male friends and some of the more perceptive girls I've told this story to insist that there must have been something specific to get me to quit something I so obviously enjoy. I then continue with what happened (after having it "beat out" of me - I'm not trying hard to get this out; sometimes it gets told, sometimes not).
"Well, alright, I'd been playing at a Foxwoods No Limit table. The guy to the left of me had made a really complicated bet [if I'm speaking to a gambler, I detail what happened with a side pot situation] and when the cards came down, the dealer made an error and gave ninety-two dollars of his money to someone it didn't belong to.
I called a pit boss over to the table and argued for the guy, and eventually he got his money.
And you know what...? He didn't even thank me. Not one thank you. I mean, ****, if someone had saved me a hundred bucks, I'd probably buy them dinner, or at least a drink... or damn, I'd thank them!" At this point, the person's agreeing with me.
"But that wasn't it. He lost most of his money in a couple more hands, but survived... with about a hundred dollars. He took that money and doubled it, then quadrupled it, and doubled it again until he had eight times it in front of him.
He then used it to attack me, and took eight-hundred dollars from me on one hand. [If the person is a gambler, I tell them that it was JJ against 44, then the flop came down J64rainbow and I misread him for AJs]. So, as I go to get up from the table, totally stunned, none of the people I had been carrying on with pleasantly for the last few hours said goodbye to me. I... I don't know. I can't be around people like that any more."
It's a good story. It can go a lot of places, and it'll open a lot of loops in the process. Girls can key into whatever part they like about it. If they're out for a risk-taker, they can focus on the gambling. If they're looking for a champion of justice, that's me too. If they want a badboy, hey, that's me. If they want a good guy, well, that's what I am now.
A story like this lets her know the real me, and I've noticed that people tend to focus on what's important to them. In my story above, I give her a lot of stuff that she can pick out if she likes that particular thing, and many conversations can go from there. The most "braggardly" things in the story are small elements of a larger picture that's about my choice of company and lifestyle.
Game on.
Dimitri
http://www.rapidsocialimpact.com
