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Conquering Approach Anxiety

abcd_z

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 28, 2003
Messages
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Location
Oslo, Norway
You're read the DJ bible. You've decided to start talking to an attractive woman. But somehow, you're just too scared to approach. Somehow, closing the distance between you and her just seems an insurmountable feat. And not just her. Each time you try to approach, your own nerves cause you to crash and burn long before anything she says could.

This will keep happening to you until you get used to actually making the approach. But in the meantime, keep at it. Let's say you failed five approaches, and you're already on your way home. Conquering approach anxiety is an important part of building the skills you need to become a true Don Juan, so DO NOT GIVE UP. If you give up now, you will never improve. Be aware of your current limitations, but keep at it anyways. If you keep plugging away at it, no matter how many times you lose the courage, one day you will break through that fear and make the approach.

But until then, never give up.
 

everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2005
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Actions always come before the feelings. He's right that people do need to take action.

You can only reduce approach anxiety so much without taking action.

I think it's a combination of reframing cognitively (chaning your thoughts, not thinking negatively) and taking action (actually approaching).
 

Obsidian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2006
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A sizeable percentage of girls are willing to tolerate some nervousness on your part. Be willing to fail and also be willing to get better over time. Just because you're nervous before you approach doesn't mean that you should fail to approach.
 
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