Confessions of a failed DJ

[Ares]

allright her goes nothing, this is basicaly a rant for myself but if anyone can learn anything then great. and any input is gladly accepted....

I came to this site about a year ago, read the bible, read the posts and it all made sense, discoverd that I had a lot of these so called Don Juan traits....then the sh#t hit the fan....I lost myself, not to say that I wouldnt have eventlualy but still I lost myself, got some interesting results but nothing to brag to much about....think all of you have heard the expression "those who cant, teach"....change it to "those who are to chikensh#t to take a risk teach" and thats basicaly what I have been using my knowledge for, mental masturbation and social status....needless to say most guys and girls now think of me as a guy that can get with almost any girl, seeing as though i give them so much good advice I surely must be a great seducer myself....the truth ofcourse is that ive been holding on to a faulty FF thing with my ex....gotten on with girls way below my standards(not to much physicaly but insanly mentaly) seemed that I went for the sluttiest, stupidest and most insane wh#res you could digg up on a selfpitty tripp.....and the worst thing is, I played myself:
"no, dont ask that girl out she is this and that" acting and thinking like I was the **** and only deserved the finest and best HB's around but my actions were to jump the bone of any girl I had minimal interest in....like I said, only girls that were way below me....heard an expression called "going slumming" well guys, Im the guy that crawled after the ones that went slumming and licked up what they woulndt thouch....and here is the really really sad part, I felt bad about it....I did this to myself of my own free will and I FELT BAD!!!! There was no one forcing me date or even do anything with these girls and still there I was, acting like the little ***** of the biggest d#ckhead you know....my situasion was in summarry this:
Outside: succesfull, getting it on with many girls, nickname sexbeats, playa, don juan and so on and so on....popular, funny, had a DGAF-attitude, the works.....
Inside: feeling like the lowest of the low, feeling sorry for myself, procastrinating as h#ll, basicaly being a sh#t with out goal or purpose in life......If you add to this mix of stupidity and low self woth a dash of skipping school, smoking to much weed and getting extremely low or no grades in most classes you have got the ingredients that made/makes up my life....

So what can I do.....well a good quote says: when you are as low as you can possibly get there is only one direction life can take.....up
So I have taken some action, I got a good job working as a waiter/bustboy, going to school everyday, moving back home(living on my own made me a real selfcentered @sshole)
taking charge over my economy(I spent about 2000 to 4000$ in four months on crap, weed and all the **** one DOESNT need)
starting training and building with a buddy of mine(its always easier and more fun when you are two).....
Thats it for now, I have gotta build up my self image and self worth, maybe it will be enough, maybe it wont...the only way to find out is to go all the way....

So here it is guys, a failed Don Juan is staggering to his feet and trying to find himself again.....One thing I think you all should remember is that even when you are walking along the darkest paths in the darkest woods you can always find the light, but you must search for it, a wery few stumble into it.....

Flame me, congratulate me, do whatever you wish guys, for the first time in my life im doing something purerly for me.....

 

[InsidiousNstinct]

It's always good to come out from your delusions. Hope to hear a follow up on this.

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

I know exactly how you feel...

When i first came here i used this site as it was intended - i searched for topics that I thought I needed work in and I read. And after a while I built up the curage to try some of the things id learned.

But I hit a wall. I stopped improving... and I started typing too much. I started formulating my own world of seduction in my mind. I stopped approaching as much and started THINKING about interactions with people. For a long time I didnt have much success with the girls I WANTED.

But then something clicked. I met a guy from ASF and he had some serious game. Together, we polished our skills and now were getting layed by the week. And Im back... still learning and experiencing new things, getting ready to type something worth reading.

When it comes down to it... life is cyclical. Sometimes you are up, sometimes you are down. Sometimes your emotions dont agree with your enviornment [everythings fine but you feel broken inside] and sometimes life has a stangle hold on your balls but you cant help but smiling - cest la vei (so, is life).

I know that if im gonna keep moving, keep living right, its because Im gonna work for it - its because Im going to be honest with myself about what I want, and Im going to ****ing fight for it.

 

[Void]

good job coming out and acknowledging that. just get off the drugs go back to school and be a high status male and shoot for girls you want.

 

[That_Guy49]

Dude, I'm basically in the same situation.

These past couple of months, I've been skipping school, smoking a lot of weed, and DJing sophmores! Dude I did and still feel low man! I feel all skanky and sh*t. I almost had a oneitis with some chick I though had interest in me....well she does, but she's too loose and stupid for me. And she the biggest nicotine freak I've EVER met! She f*cked me up.....

Now Im sobering up and my intelligence and true potential is coming back to me again, and although I've ****ed up a quarter of my senior year I'm doing my best to get with it.

I now have a decent job, am starting to get my grades up and am doing a better job of being in class, and right now I don't feel ready to start approaching girls again because like I siad, I'm picking myself up and if Im gonna look for a gf or whatever, I wanna have life organized somewhat so I can work on my game with a more focused mentality. You and I were and to an extent still are in the same rut.

But I am glad that I went through this stage or phase early in my DJ quest because its helping me to mature more as a man who lifts himself and improves and doesn't let any women get in his way of his dreams which was something that I was doing for about a good second.

I have been meaning to address my problem to the forums because the way I've been living seems great and fun, but its left me with headaches and a mess to clean up and the starter of this thread basically posted my problem for me.....Im so glad to know that someone else has gone through the same thing and has succeeded!

 

[Ares]

thanks for all the support guys, its a cliche but it means a lot....
T_G49 its good to hear that Im not the only one...
havent got much to say today, im feeling pretty tired and blue but for every day that goes by another piece in the puzzle fits....
again thanks alot guys...

 

[Cloud-uk]

Damn! There is a lot of this going on right now. I the same way, somehwere along the line I lost my target, and the first step to sorting yourself out is admitting your faults.

Right, I'm going to start a post on this, get together whoever has had a bit of a relapse and get us all to sort it out.

Look out for it, it'll probably be titled "Relapse Discussion" or some other hightly inventive title.

Lets ****ing do something about it.

 

[Cloud-uk]

And here it is:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62479