Hi Guys, I really need all the help I can get on this.
First I'll like to point out (like many do here
) I am no stranger to the art of the Don. However my current problem is quite complicated and I hope you guys can help.
I met a girl in my native country when I was there on vacation. This girl was the full package. Beautiful, smart, passionate, and caring. A "house girl" as they say in Latin countries (In the states you would say wife material). Anyway we hit it off, and she told me she had just recently separated from her BF and that it was a sad experience. Well that was the start of her lies. We went out a few times during my time there and everything was great. Coming back all I got was a hug and a kiss on the cheek (we did hold hands at some of our dates). As you can see it didn't go far and that is to be expected since she is a very antiquated thinking type girl (I'll explain more on this later).
She then invites me back and I jump at the chance. This time we plan take a trip around the country with some family members of course since her mom would not let go out by herself with me (we're both 24 years old). We would then call each other quite often (I called most of the time, which is bad but it was a lot cheaper for me). I have to admit perhaps we spoke a bit too often but since we are so far away it sort of worked out and little by little got very comfortable with each other (6 months of talking only on the phone). So on the first day I arrive we go out for dinner and drinks and I finally make my move and it's everything I could have hoped for. During the tour I find out she was still with her BF and had been seeing him the whole time. She said she was breaking up with him but didn't have the heart to do it. After the tour around the country, I was in heaven and completely into this girl. She told me she is falling in love with me and I hinted at the same (we were pretty intimate at this point). The day before I left she breaks up with her BF and tells me she is all mine. GREAT right? Well read on...
A month or two after I am back she started demanding a bit more and you could tell her frustration of not having me physically there. She would complain everyday that she was having a hard time not seeing me. Then I noticed one day she completely changed her attitude towards me. Apparently she got back with her boyfriend that day and told him she had a change of heart and was mistaken. I confronted her about it and she came clean. I told her it was nice knowing her and told her to please stop calling me as it will be for the best for both of us (A don Juan Tip right there). Lo and behold after a week of not calling and emailing her she calls me and tries to start up our friendship again but I am indifferent at that time. She starts being her sweet self again though and little by little I fell once again into her game. We started talking often at night and acted as though we were an item. I knew the BF was in the picture still but I decided that I will only be with her to enjoy her and no longer consider her for a serious relationship anyway so it didn't matter.
Well last week her BF calls me but we could hardly talk due to noise. I try calling him back but he refuses to pick up his phone. Finally after many calls he picks up, he seems afraid of me but I comfort him and get him to speak. He mentions that he's read her phone messages and that he knows she cheated on him with me. They broke up again as well. What do I do? I go into interviewer mode. I don't really care about his concerns I just want to know how much this girl has been playing me. He tells me everything. I feel bad for the guy. It seems he has extremely low self esteem. Check out this comment "It doesn't matter how many time she falls [cheats] as long as she comes back to me". Also this guy has been spying on her. He broke into her email account, checks her phone messages somehow, and knows everything about me. However they get back together once more but she plays it off as if they are just talking.
I see her interest level once again dipping. And my feelings for her have dried up. Although aside from the lies and cheating, she is everything I ever wanted. She told me she wants me to come back for my birthday and promises to spend every day with me for a month. Is she just keeping this guy as plan B or me for that matter? All I know is that with the emotional pain that she's caused, I, in the long run will just use her and hurt her. I can no longer love her because I cannot trust her. So should I just remove myself forever (not really Don Juan like)? Or be a player and take advantage of the fact she still likes me? I might be doing this guy a favor by taking her away and then breaking up with her.
Well that's it. Sorry for the long post and thanks in advance.
First I'll like to point out (like many do here
) I am no stranger to the art of the Don. However my current problem is quite complicated and I hope you guys can help.I met a girl in my native country when I was there on vacation. This girl was the full package. Beautiful, smart, passionate, and caring. A "house girl" as they say in Latin countries (In the states you would say wife material). Anyway we hit it off, and she told me she had just recently separated from her BF and that it was a sad experience. Well that was the start of her lies. We went out a few times during my time there and everything was great. Coming back all I got was a hug and a kiss on the cheek (we did hold hands at some of our dates). As you can see it didn't go far and that is to be expected since she is a very antiquated thinking type girl (I'll explain more on this later).
She then invites me back and I jump at the chance. This time we plan take a trip around the country with some family members of course since her mom would not let go out by herself with me (we're both 24 years old). We would then call each other quite often (I called most of the time, which is bad but it was a lot cheaper for me). I have to admit perhaps we spoke a bit too often but since we are so far away it sort of worked out and little by little got very comfortable with each other (6 months of talking only on the phone). So on the first day I arrive we go out for dinner and drinks and I finally make my move and it's everything I could have hoped for. During the tour I find out she was still with her BF and had been seeing him the whole time. She said she was breaking up with him but didn't have the heart to do it. After the tour around the country, I was in heaven and completely into this girl. She told me she is falling in love with me and I hinted at the same (we were pretty intimate at this point). The day before I left she breaks up with her BF and tells me she is all mine. GREAT right? Well read on...
A month or two after I am back she started demanding a bit more and you could tell her frustration of not having me physically there. She would complain everyday that she was having a hard time not seeing me. Then I noticed one day she completely changed her attitude towards me. Apparently she got back with her boyfriend that day and told him she had a change of heart and was mistaken. I confronted her about it and she came clean. I told her it was nice knowing her and told her to please stop calling me as it will be for the best for both of us (A don Juan Tip right there). Lo and behold after a week of not calling and emailing her she calls me and tries to start up our friendship again but I am indifferent at that time. She starts being her sweet self again though and little by little I fell once again into her game. We started talking often at night and acted as though we were an item. I knew the BF was in the picture still but I decided that I will only be with her to enjoy her and no longer consider her for a serious relationship anyway so it didn't matter.
Well last week her BF calls me but we could hardly talk due to noise. I try calling him back but he refuses to pick up his phone. Finally after many calls he picks up, he seems afraid of me but I comfort him and get him to speak. He mentions that he's read her phone messages and that he knows she cheated on him with me. They broke up again as well. What do I do? I go into interviewer mode. I don't really care about his concerns I just want to know how much this girl has been playing me. He tells me everything. I feel bad for the guy. It seems he has extremely low self esteem. Check out this comment "It doesn't matter how many time she falls [cheats] as long as she comes back to me". Also this guy has been spying on her. He broke into her email account, checks her phone messages somehow, and knows everything about me. However they get back together once more but she plays it off as if they are just talking.
I see her interest level once again dipping. And my feelings for her have dried up. Although aside from the lies and cheating, she is everything I ever wanted. She told me she wants me to come back for my birthday and promises to spend every day with me for a month. Is she just keeping this guy as plan B or me for that matter? All I know is that with the emotional pain that she's caused, I, in the long run will just use her and hurt her. I can no longer love her because I cannot trust her. So should I just remove myself forever (not really Don Juan like)? Or be a player and take advantage of the fact she still likes me? I might be doing this guy a favor by taking her away and then breaking up with her.
Well that's it. Sorry for the long post and thanks in advance.
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