Comming of as arrogant

[Von Baken Dude]

Well fellas, I overdid CF with some chick from scholl and she got a bit pissed. I apollogised after when I figured out that she didn't took it ok. Problem is I didn't realize so when I said it and I don't know what I said that was ofensive...

Anyway, the other day she came to talk to me. She said a couple of friends of her agree with her regarding my "ofensive" comments. She also said that I seam arrogant and that I have a strong personality and good qualities but a few bad defects that mess the package, advising me to work on my "qualities" (whatever). Then she says that a (girl) friend of hers (which also has some class with me) finds me really nice. I took the criticism ok, because she has the right to an opinion and I wasn't aware of such "arrogant vibe" getting out... until last week some other girl said I was being too arrogant just because I didn't want to help her out in computer class - I'm tired of having to help people who basicly just want to me to do their work and don't want learn. I do help those who just ask me to explain stuff and then do it themselves.
In one other day, the first girl said she had been saying positive things to some guy from the class, that I had qualities and defects. I just replied something like "couldn't care less" in a slightly joking matter, and she too it bad and said "see, that's something I don't like".

Anyways, two girls saying it, so I'm probably sending some bad vibe to some (???) people, bad enough to make'em go around talking about me and my arrogance. There are possibly some more who also think I'm arrogant, but don't say anything.

Once or twice I got a bad reaction from people just before I had the test. They would say something like "good luck", and then I would joke a bit with something like "I don't need luck, I just need the test to have the questions I can anwser.". Can this be seen as arrogance?

Could they be misreading confidence, or taking what I say in the wrong way because I get better grades? I don't think I put people down because I have better grades than them, but it could be happing... Could they just be taking stuff too "hard"?

I certanly don't go around making fun of "fat-stupid-gay-dumb-bad_taste_in_clothing people" and stuff like that...

Ideas? Thanks.

 

[Ashlee Angel]

I am like that some people think I am ****y but the majority of people like my personality. The thing is the women who say I am ****y they want to be with me.

They will say something like damn your ****y or your full of yourself. Then later they will say ooh if you didn't have a girlfriend.

Don't change but maybe tone it down a little.

 

[Quick]

The comments you make are arrogant. You're not supposed to talk about how good you are. When someone says good luck on a test, you say thanks and say good luck back. Volunteering information about how good you are when no one asked is the definition of arrogance.

What makes people like you is when you're really good at something, but you act like it's not that important to you. It's a game. You know you're good, and everyone else recognizes it. If you say it, you're arrogant, if they say it you're supposed to just thank them and say it's no big deal. No one likes someone who they know feels like he's superior to everyone.

Another thing about arrogance is that it's sometimes overconfidence, and many times it's the opposite of confidence. If you're confident, there's no need for you to point out your strengths. You know you have them and that others recognize them. It's a sign of a low ego if you constantly remind people that you're better than them.

Think about an athlete that just ran for 200 yards in a football game being interviewed.

1. "Yeah, i'm a lot faster than everyone else, and realistically they had no chance of keeping up with me, much less stopping me. I pretty much expect to dominate every time I step on the field. This isn't much harder than high school and I could beat these guys without practice."

2. "I don't know what it was, I just felt really good out there today. My teammates opened up some holes and everything just felt right. I'm glad God blessed me with talent, and I'll keep working hard to not waste it."


This guy could be a superstar and everyone knows that he's the best runningback in the game. Which guy do you think will be getting the endorsement contracts, and which guy do you think will be nitpicked by sportswriters? People want to disagree with you. If you tell them an achievement was no big deal, they'll tell you how special it was. If you tell them you're the greatest, they'll try to find reasons you're not.

Even though everyone loves Muhammad Ali now, he was one of the most hated men in America in his prime. If you're arrogant, you'll polarize people. That's why he acted so arrogant. He knew most of the people who paid to watch his fights wanted to see someone knock him out and shut him up. Some will love you and most will want you to fail. If you're confident and modest, almost everyone will like you. You make your choice about how you want to be, and which will get you more girls, to bring this back around.

 

[Milliardo_Peacecraft]

Well,if you dont know how to gauge it,just knoiw that being arrogant could always be better than being unconfidant(or apearing to be).

 

[Premier]

Not just what you say

It's not always what you say that makes you sound arrogant, but also how you say it.

The tone of your voice and/or the look on your face can have a major impact on whether a statement is viewed as being arrogant or just funny.

Your "Good Luck on Test" line doesn't seem to be too arrogant (I like it and I might have to use it sometime), but it might need a big smile to have it come across as the humorous line that it is.

I constantly get in trouble when I make jokes with the wrong tone of voice. It has caused me to be called an a-hole or get the finger one too many times.

 

[Von Baken Dude]

Originally posted by Quick
You're not supposed to talk about how good you are.

Uh, I don't go around saying I'm the bomb. I know I have limitations...

When someone says good luck on a test, you say thanks and say good luck back. Volunteering information about how good you are when no one asked is the definition of arrogance.

Well, I don't say "I know everything so I'll ace the stupid test"... Even what I say shows the need to some luck, the luck to get the questions I can answer (it's almost like "i don't need luck, i just need... luck"). I think it's a nice little joke to cut some tension off.

But, if it sends a bad vibe...

 

[Umbra]

Good, insightful post, Quick.