Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Pets are great with girls. This post is about how to set up a zero-maintenance aquarium by your bedside.
Goldfish, koi, and comets are all from the carp family. They are cold-water fish that are hard to kill compared to other fish. Most people have goldfish, so they are a little boring. Koi and Comets are not usually kept in an indoor aquarium, because they get too big and overwhelm the tank's filter. I have built a filter that works better than anything I've ever been able to buy and requires no maintenance or cleaning.
The filter is simple. It is just a section of 2" pvc filled with plastic bio balls. The pvc parts are two elbows, a cap, and a section long enough to make the three sides of a rectangle. The magic ingredient of the filter is nylon mesh kitchen scrubbers. They are six for $1 at Dollar General, but I have only used one in the end where the water falls out. The mesh aerates the water and allows for the growth of beneficial bacteria that clean your tank water for you while you are off sarging. The most expensive part of the filter is a pump to pump the water through it. Depending upon the size of your tank, you can use a simple pond pump from Home Depot, costing maybe $25-$35. Connect the pump to the filter with hose and hose clamps. Mine has a short piece of 1/2" cpvc (aka "hot/cold") glued in the end to attach to the hose. It fits better if you glue the short piece into a coupling and make the hole in the cap the size of the pipe but smaller than the coupling. Then the coupling fits against the inside of the cap. The rectangular filter sits on the lid in the same way, the ends of the elbows are slightly larger than the pipe, so there is an edge for it rest upon. Cut two holes in the lid so that the pipe will just barely fit through, but the elbow won't. Be careful if you are modifying a hood with a light. Use common sense in keeping your light dry. You can also hold the mesh scrubber in the other end by putting two holes in the pipe and a cable tie between those two holes so that it does not fall out. I have three koi and a big goldfish in a 70-gallon tank. Koi afficianados would say that this is not possible, but my water is crystal clear and I never do any tank maintenance at all.
If you use tap water, let it sit for a couple of days to let the chlorine evaporate. Do not use gravel. It is stupid and just holds fish poop. Also, keep your tank away from sunlight or you will grow algae. A "side-sucker" fish (plecostomus) will help if you do have algae. http://www.aquariacentral.com/fishinfo/fresh/pleco.shtml
The stand, light, and lid will cost as much as the tank. I made those things so that I could buy a bigger tank. If you make your own stand, keep in mind the enormous weight of a big tank of water.
Koi range in price from about three bucks to over one million dollars for a world show champion. Mine are of the former variety.
Finally, read up a little on the history of koi so that you have something to talk about with your girl.
http://www.enkoi.com/koi/
http://www.absolute-koi.com/koi/
Feed the koi goldfish pellets once a day or so. It's entertaining to feed them the occasional worm as well. Koi live a long time, sometimes for decades. They are also smart, for fish anyway. They will get excited when you walk near the tank in anticipation of being fed. Koi breeders say that koi have their own personalities like dogs or cats.
A tank of koi makes you interesting and responsible in the eyes of women, but even more importantly it is an excuse to get a girl onto your bed. Without an excuse to go into your bedroom, you are obviously going in there to fvck, so the koi get you right past this line of ASD.
Goldfish, koi, and comets are all from the carp family. They are cold-water fish that are hard to kill compared to other fish. Most people have goldfish, so they are a little boring. Koi and Comets are not usually kept in an indoor aquarium, because they get too big and overwhelm the tank's filter. I have built a filter that works better than anything I've ever been able to buy and requires no maintenance or cleaning.
The filter is simple. It is just a section of 2" pvc filled with plastic bio balls. The pvc parts are two elbows, a cap, and a section long enough to make the three sides of a rectangle. The magic ingredient of the filter is nylon mesh kitchen scrubbers. They are six for $1 at Dollar General, but I have only used one in the end where the water falls out. The mesh aerates the water and allows for the growth of beneficial bacteria that clean your tank water for you while you are off sarging. The most expensive part of the filter is a pump to pump the water through it. Depending upon the size of your tank, you can use a simple pond pump from Home Depot, costing maybe $25-$35. Connect the pump to the filter with hose and hose clamps. Mine has a short piece of 1/2" cpvc (aka "hot/cold") glued in the end to attach to the hose. It fits better if you glue the short piece into a coupling and make the hole in the cap the size of the pipe but smaller than the coupling. Then the coupling fits against the inside of the cap. The rectangular filter sits on the lid in the same way, the ends of the elbows are slightly larger than the pipe, so there is an edge for it rest upon. Cut two holes in the lid so that the pipe will just barely fit through, but the elbow won't. Be careful if you are modifying a hood with a light. Use common sense in keeping your light dry. You can also hold the mesh scrubber in the other end by putting two holes in the pipe and a cable tie between those two holes so that it does not fall out. I have three koi and a big goldfish in a 70-gallon tank. Koi afficianados would say that this is not possible, but my water is crystal clear and I never do any tank maintenance at all.
If you use tap water, let it sit for a couple of days to let the chlorine evaporate. Do not use gravel. It is stupid and just holds fish poop. Also, keep your tank away from sunlight or you will grow algae. A "side-sucker" fish (plecostomus) will help if you do have algae. http://www.aquariacentral.com/fishinfo/fresh/pleco.shtml
The stand, light, and lid will cost as much as the tank. I made those things so that I could buy a bigger tank. If you make your own stand, keep in mind the enormous weight of a big tank of water.
Koi range in price from about three bucks to over one million dollars for a world show champion. Mine are of the former variety.
Finally, read up a little on the history of koi so that you have something to talk about with your girl.
http://www.enkoi.com/koi/
http://www.absolute-koi.com/koi/
Feed the koi goldfish pellets once a day or so. It's entertaining to feed them the occasional worm as well. Koi live a long time, sometimes for decades. They are also smart, for fish anyway. They will get excited when you walk near the tank in anticipation of being fed. Koi breeders say that koi have their own personalities like dogs or cats.
A tank of koi makes you interesting and responsible in the eyes of women, but even more importantly it is an excuse to get a girl onto your bed. Without an excuse to go into your bedroom, you are obviously going in there to fvck, so the koi get you right past this line of ASD.
