College Relationships

[Finch]

I'm starting off at college this fall and I've been with my current girlfriend for about 4 1/2 months now. I'm not insecure about our relationship at all because it is the best it really can be. She thinks I'm the best guy she's ever met and I'm totally into her. So we're doing really well at the moment. We're both very much in love with each other and enjoy each other's company over anyone elses.

I'm just worried when college starts will it have some negative effects on my relationship? I'm thinking I'll see her about the same amount of time because we try and keep our space from each other so things don't become boring or uninteresting. It's been the best thing I could do for my relationship. Currently I see her several times a week and I'm expecting that I'd see her about the same during college. I actually have a class with her so I might see her a little more. I'm living in the dorms and she's staying at home with her family for the first year. The good thing about my girlfriend is that she is very loyal and isn't very much of a party girl. She rarely goes to parties and if she does, she doesn't drink (unless she's with me). She always ends up going home around 10:30 or 11pm at night if she's out with people (or even earlier).

I wouldn't be worried about our relationship at all, because I consider it very strong, but I've heard so much about so many relationships ending during the college year that were very strong in the beginning.

Are there any tips you guys could give me to keep things going on strong during the college year? Thanks guys.

 

[BigMike]

I'm of NO help here. I couldn't even handle having a gf in high school, nevemind college.

Best of luck to you. Just be ready for anything. People change DRAMATICALLY in college

 

[MidnightResistance]

She'll change, bang a whole load of guys behind your back, then dump your sorry ass -truth be told.

Play away a little.
She'll do the same sooner or later.
It'll come as less of a blow when she leaves you for some other guy.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Wake up man.

From what you're saying, sounds like you are turning to the AFC side.

Go against your natural insticts (you're natural instincts are your AFC instincts...afterall, those are what brought you to sosuave in the first place).

You want to see her several times per week? Don't! See her at most 2-3 times per week and make it FUN EACH TIME.

With my last college gf, I was seeing her 5-6 times a week, and guess what? It got BORING! Our relationship blasted up and then fell down like a rock.

But here's the ultimate truth, man:
Even if you are totally cool and confident with her, it STILL doesn't mean she probably won't lose interest.

You're young, she's young. Her curiousity is going to take the best of her, and she is going to lost interest gradually, regardless.

Best thing you can do is to be dating a couple other chicks on the side.

 

[jbgmedia]

you need to pick up the *******s guide to dealing with chicks and read the College Section NOW I mean it..

 

[Austizzle]

Umm, I was in a relationship throughout my freshmen year in college and all I can say...is that it was a big waste of time. I could have been with at least 10 girls minimum, without trouble. Just depends, I was with mine for a year and then she broke it off. Seemed like a waste to me. Go for what you want, not what other people suggest is the best for you.

 

[strong like bull]

several things:

1) TRUST YOUR GUT. if youre getting a disturbing feeling in the back of your stomach, DONT IGNORE IT. FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS. DONT LET YOUR STUBBORN DESIRE (EMOTIONS) TO MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP WORK, BLIND YOU FROM REALITY.

2) IS SHE A GOOD GIRL OR BAD GIRL? college, or any party scene, maginifies certain things.

if RIGHT NOW, shes the type of girl who likes to sneak out and drink to 3am, likes to party with a bunch of random dudes when youre not there to protect her, likes to make out with other girls/guys.... when she gets to that college party scene, it will all be magnified. you can bet that within a month she'll be at some afterparty, laid out on her back, getting railed by a couple local bartenders/jocks/etc.

if RIGHT NOW, shes a good girl who rarely drinks and doesnt like to be out all night (ESPECIALLY WHEN YOURE NOT WITH HER), theres a good chance that she'll stay a good girl. if you and her keep things exciting and wonderful, she wont have a reason to look around. bottom line - there actually ARE some sweet hearts who HAVENT been tainted by a broken home, abusive parents, molestation/rape, etc. there are SOME good girls out there. if shes already been exposed to alchohol, parties, studly jock guys etc but still hangs close to you... thats good. a lot of girls get mesmorized and **** by the whole party scene. the first time they get a taste... they lose control and get sucked in. few make it out without becoming tainted goods.

3) HOW SATISFYING IS THE RELATIONSHIP?
do you two satisfy eachother to the fullest level on contentment? or do you leave doubts in eachothers minds?

if she has the curiousity in her mind, that you arent the best thing for her... once she gets launched into the scene, itll be real easy for her to want to "upgrade." and yeah, this goes both ways. all of her problems with you will be magnified tenfold by the fact that so many more guys will be approaching her. hundreds. it doesnt help either that half the time, if shes partying (like most girls would in college) she AND the guys will probably be drunk. which makes it all that much easier for her to go with the flow, even if it means disgracing you. it makes it that much easier for her to hop to another guys ****.


as always, youve gotta focus on the fun. together, have the time of your lives. thats all you can do. if shes a freaky party girl, itll come out sooner or later. if shes a good girl, she'll retain her willpower and pass up the dudes, booze and drugs.

ive seen it both ways.

my 19th birthday, two girls came and partied with my boys and i. one was 16, the other was 17. we all got drunk of course... by the end of the night, the girls were on my boys bed, eating eachother out and getting railed. so youve got two girls, with boyfriends, IN HIGH SCHOOL, LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS, staying out all night, drinking with older guys, fvcking eachother, fvcking us... and that wasnt anything new to them. from what they told us, both pretty much started at 13/14. at 16/17, they even had a threesome with the manager of their restaurant (theyre hostesses)... and the manager was married!

and i wont even get into the 18+ girls ive known over the years. hell, even the 30, 40+ who still party like college age sluts and cheat on their husbands.

like i said, all you can do is be the greatest man you can be. have fun, enjoy eachother. if she stays true, awesome. if she flakes... she isnt the other girl out there.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DONT LOSE HOPE. THERE ARE SOME GOOD GIRLS LEFT. BUT FOR GOD SAKES, KEEP THOSE ROSE-COLORED SUNGLASSES OFF. THE TRUTH MIGHT BE DARK AND HARSH... BUT IN ITS UPS AND DOWNS, REALITY IS BETTER THAN BEING IGNORANT.

good luck

 

[Finch]

I'm not too sure anybody read my post too carefully. lol. I appreciate the help, especially strong like bull.

To clear things up: She is in fact one of those good girls who hasn't been abused, molested, etc. She's a very good girl in fact. She has a twin that is kind of nerdy and they kind of keep each other in check I think. She doesn't like to party, even though she gets invited to many parties. Somebody mentioned that spending too much time together isn't a good thing. I couldn't agree more. We don't spend too much time together, as much as I would like to. I see her probably 2 - 3 times a week. In college I'll see her maybe 3-4 times a week.

Regardless, she's a beautiful girl. She's an 8.5HB. I know she'll be approached by a lot of guys. But the thing is that she's totally head over heels for me right now. You guys stressed the fact that we should have fun and we really do. We do some of the most crazy things and just enjoy each other so much. She considers herself a very lucky girl.

I'm still not too sure what to think about what will happen in college. I don't think she'll flake out on me because I'm a good catch for her, but who knows. I'll keep my options open, but for now I'm happy with this one girl. That might seem AFC to some of you guys, but I'm really not the type of guy who thrives on going out and hooking up with tons of girls. I'm more of the relationship/settled down type of guy. I enjoy getting to know someone and making a connection. Maybe some of the older DJs can vouch for me on this since they've already been through the "**** as many girls as possible" phase.