Choosing between 2 women in the next 2 days.

Dman101

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I've been dating a very attractive, caring, loyal, good woman who cooks, cleans, has my back, loves me to death and wants to marry me. Shes 33 and I'm 32. The only problem is shes a little more reserved naturally so I realize I had a stronger connection and spark with other women, but shes a great person and would be a good wife. Also our sex life didnt start off too well, I dont *** from sex too often with her, but the sex was getting better as shes trying to do more to keep me. Also my family loves her a lot and like her family.

The problem is throughout our relationship Ive been cheating on her the whole time which she found out about. I've lived my life as a bachelor with multiple women. I still have a few women I can call and get with if I wanted, including 1 who Ive seen on the regular. She doesnt like it, but she accepts me and is willing to deal with it if I really want to be with her long term. Recently she found out about another girl I was in a relationship with the past year and she called this girl and they talked about everything they had going on with me comparing things. The other girl is skinnier, not as pretty but shes good looking, super freaky, very fun, we have better convos, better connection, shes 28, and I realize its more exciting being with her. Girl 2 was the one chasing me trying to see if I'd be serious in the future, I was the one in control and she loved sex with me.

After this incident I was very upset and hurt because I like both girls. The first girl forgave me and wanted to make things work, the 2nd one didnt want to be with me anymore and was upset. I really wanted the 2nd girl back because I enjoyed being with her, so I sent her flowers and a letter, which gave me a chance to talk to her over the phone. She was receptive but texted me a few days later saying she cant do it.

At this point I was upset with the 1st girl for ruining my 2nd girl and I was thinking about the 2nd one everyday I was with the 1st, so I told her I need a week break. During this week, girl 2 was on my mind heavy so I showed up at her house unannounced which surprised her. She was receptive to me and we went to go eat. I told her I broke up with the first one and that girl 1 was more of a friend, we didnt have much of a sex life or connection. She wanted proof and said things like shed text the other girl which I said isnt right because shes hurt right now. Now girl 2 is texting me back and we talked last night like we used to, so Im on track to having her back, but she still questions girl 1, she thinks she'll come back and beg and she doesnt want me to be friends with her. She also wants to make sure I dont have other women.

Now its crunch time. I'm not fully sure if I tried to get girl 2 back just because I lost her or because I want to be with her for real. I know I was very upset thinking I'd never get to be with her again. My break with girl 1 is over on Monday, so I know either I will have to break up with her or break up with girl2. How do I make this decision its so hard.

Basically girl 1 is more loyal, supportive, does more for me, loves me deeper, wont leave even if I cheat, is prettier, more curves, cooks, cleans, and will be a good wife and mother, family loves her, but there isnt a huge spark or a lot of excitement, and I dont really enjoy sex with her that much.

Girl 2 is upbeat, smily, we have great convos, mind blowing sex, shes really into me, we have more fun on trips or just being in the house together, shes a little paranoid about me cheating even before this incident, and I know she wont be ok with me cheating on her.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 

wifehunter

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If I was forced to choose, I would go with the one that was most crazy about me.

Otherwise, in a non-committed / unofficial relationship, I would bounce between them.
 

bigneil

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Don't marry her. She is too old for you long term. Trust me. You both can have the best sex of your lives for the next 5 years (my greatest lover - until last week with a woman 23 years her junior- was 31 and I was 32) but then - poof - she becomes an old maid in your eyes, likely a bitter one. Once you hit 40 you want to date 20 year old women.
 

Phobos

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You sound like a woman that's 32 and hit the wall and needs to settle into a loveless marriage so she can have kids.

You're (supposed to be) a man. You don't need to settle. Stop lying to yourself and everyone around you and everything will work itself out.
 

om1xr

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If it was me I would drop both and get 2 new ones...Ultimatums and possessiveness are what kill the fun, a man and a woman are complementary to each other; there is no ownership and people may disagree with me on this point but that's why marriage is such a bad deal.

Read the predatory female just to get an idea about what those women are doing. the 2nd girl is going to get back but the 1st one is going to be a pain is the a$$ from now on, so expect a lot of nagging and complaining and she is too old for a ltr with a 32 bachelor. but you can experience it and go with what you want just to see how it is but you are going to waste some months because you are not going to be patient for more than that with what you are going to see but I may be wrong. just my opinion
 

Dman101

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I'm not really looking to get married right now, I just have these 2 females that are great friends, I really enjoy having each in my life and now its at a point where they know of each other. Is there any scenario where I can somehow keep both? I'm having a hard time with the idea that one of these people will not be in my life going forward. Girl 1 called me today she really wants this to work and is willing to look past anything else I've done, but girl 2 is adamant that I need to get rid of girl 1 if we are going to be together.

I was thinking about maybe telling girl 1 the whole truth and see if she'd stick around knowing I had girl 2 while I tell girl 2 that I broke up with girl 1. Very messy lol
 

Dman101

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I saw girl 1 yesterday, I told her I need more time to get my mind right to make a decision on us. She's very beautiful and a wholesome girl its so hard breaking up with her. Girl 2 I called and has a fun convo with. The sex and energy is amazing and I was so sad when I lost her. I'm telling her that I broke up with girl 1 and that we have a future together.

Is there any way I can keep both? This decision is gut wrenching
 
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