Charm

[Matt Rogers]

When I look at the average looking guys who score hot chicks, one quality seems to stand out most often: charm.

Some people seem to be born with a natural likeability and ability to make everyone feel great about themselves, and project a warmth and charisma which makes them irresisteble. You cannot help but want to be around them. With women, they are able to tease them, make them laugh and sweep them off their feet.

The thing is these charmers seem to break a lot of the DJ rules. Often they do compliment girls a lot. They do pay girls a lot of attention. Rather than act aloof they make it all too obvious that they like the girl.

So my questions are
1) How do you develop this elusive quality of charm?
2) Why does it work despite seeming to break a lot of the DJ rules?

 

[AFK Protector]

I think I just realized that charm is saying the things people want to hear, but doing the things you want to do.

^^^That's my quote b1tches!

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
When I look at the average looking guys who score hot chicks, one quality seems to stand out most often: charm.

Some people seem to be born with a natural likeability and ability to make everyone feel great about themselves, and project a warmth and charisma which makes them irresisteble. You cannot help but want to be around them. With women, they are able to tease them, make them laugh and sweep them off their feet.

The thing is these charmers seem to break a lot of the DJ rules. Often they do compliment girls a lot. They do pay girls a lot of attention. Rather than act aloof they make it all too obvious that they like the girl.

So my questions are
1) How do you develop this elusive quality of charm?
2) Why does it work despite seeming to break a lot of the DJ rules?

Be ****y and complimentary. A compliment seems to go over a lot better from a self assured, ****y guy than from some unsure-of-himself guy who is down on himself/talks bad about himself.

 

[Don_Marko]

Flattery...
It's very simmilar to a neg hit actually, just instead where a neg lowers ego, flattery boosts it up.

Have you seen Pulp Fiction? Vince and Jules are in the Jimmy's house with a dead body in his garage. Jimmy is majourly pissed that these two guys are in his house, especially cuz his wife should be home soon but he still lets them stay for few hours to clean up the messy car. Jules drinking coffee says "MMMM this is some serious gourmet sh!t, Me and Vincent woulda been satisfied with freeze dryed Taster's Choice. You spring this gourmet fcking sh!t on us. What flavour is this?"

Usually most effective compliments and what will make you seem VERY charming is to compliment parts of person's quality few people see.

Let's say you are having dinner with old-school Pamela Anderson.
Should you:
a) compliment her boobs
b) compliment her wine taste

Usually you shouldn't compliment a woman unless you've got some good sht to say about her. If no one has told her that before, she will feel like you know her in a light that nobody has. That's the secret.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Charm is cheap, what you need to look into is definitely charisma. You need to study these guys too, if they truly just gave complements to women, more AFCs would score with women. Same with attention.

Charismatic people are very insightful and specific about what they say and about what. Charismatic people would say "You've changed your hair color, the highlights really calls attention to those wonderful eyes of yours." AN AFC would say "Your hair looks nice." YAAAWWWNNNN......

Charismatic people work at it so often that it comes off as second nature and effortless. In doing so they NEVER focus all of their attention to one woman. They make ALL women feel good when he's present. He's paying so much attention to everyone else, he doesn't have a chance to share much about himself.

So a truly charismatic DJ may not be aloof, but no one knows everything about him. He may may make women feel good about themselves but he doesn't have to give lame complements.

The secret to charisma is noticing the little things about people and letting them know that YOU noticed AND appreciate it. That's all there is to it. Oh yeah, also ask questions about those little things, it's more than likely important to that person and if it is, they will enjoy talking about it. Be engaging and spread the charisma around....

 

[Matt Rogers]

Super responses everyone.

I have also noticed that charming people are able to tease girls in a friendly way. Not exactly ****y and funny, which can be a bit too abrasive, but similar. Sometimes by accident I have pulled this off and each time the girl has blushed a little and given me the arm punch.

Does anyone have any advice on good things to tease girls about? Any lines or examples welcome

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It all depends on the woman. You should not degrade them, just poke some light fun at them. Do it in a way that they would feel comfortable doing it to you.

If you give us an example of a situation you were in we may be able to give you an example that would be suitable.

 

[Sexual]

Yup, neg hits and flattery. Ego too low, give it boost, too high, slap her off the pedestal. Equal amounts of modesty and confidence, good amounts of humor. The key to controlling a woman is making her feel emotion all the time, that way she can be manipulated and seduced... BONGGG. There was a really good post I read in the bible that wasn't in the boot camp about seducing, I'd definetly invest time in it.

Has the Four Steps:
Comfort
Connection
Excitement
Arrousal

That's all there is to it.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

i said to a girl "i love myself in fact every 1 loves me" and she said i was charming

 

[jonny football hero]

Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
i said to a girl "i love myself in fact every 1 loves me" and she said i was charming

*alarm* SARCASM DETECTOR *alarm*

I have a "knowing" smile, and say a compliment. eg. Wow those shoes are swell, the colour really matches your !coat!.

 

[TDOT]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
When I look at the average looking guys who score hot chicks, one quality seems to stand out most often: charm.

Some people seem to be born with a natural likeability and ability to make everyone feel great about themselves, and project a warmth and charisma which makes them irresisteble. You cannot help but want to be around them. With women, they are able to tease them, make them laugh and sweep them off their feet.

The thing is these charmers seem to break a lot of the DJ rules. Often they do compliment girls a lot. They do pay girls a lot of attention. Rather than act aloof they make it all too obvious that they like the girl.

So my questions are
1) How do you develop this elusive quality of charm?
2) Why does it work despite seeming to break a lot of the DJ rules?

Well let's put it this way.

Do you like people that make you feel good.

Charm is much much more than simply giving a person a compliment.

Charm is making people FEEL GOOD by your compliments.
If you haven't accomplished making them feel better about themselves then you have FAILED no matter how good you think the compliment was.

Every female is different. You have to feel them out and watch their reactions until you hit that SPOT. That's why you keep talking and not give up to easy. If she didn't like you complimenting her hair then try complimenting her shoes.

Persistance pays off. Once you have found that SPOT, she's butter in your hands!


TDOT - Don in training

 

[Alpine]

There is a major article on Charisma that's worth a read.

The idea of persistence and compliments I think would have to be very subtle, I read that over complimenting will seriously downgrade your rating.

I've known some real *******s who women reckon have charisma. When I thought about it they were either rich or goodlooking.

 

[aBAzLLnA]

There is a major article on Charisma that's worth a read.

How about you tell us where it is?

 

[Alpine]

Originally posted by aBAzLLnA
How about you tell us where it is?

Will this do?


http://www.sosuave.com/quick/tip246.htm

 

[Juan_Man]

I think that the key to charm is honesty but you have to be honest in a smooth way.

 

[chicksrock]

Being charasmatic is about having a genuine interest in people

 

[alphamale1]

I think charm is

knowing ur character and displaying warmth, sense of humour and making someone you speak to feel at 100% ease and to show that u have complete control of urself.......... If u have character then of course you'll display charm like no other because u as an individual have character which separates u from everyone else who doesnt.



So in general:

I believe CHARM is simply

When people find u fascinating, funny, calls u and genuine cares how u are. I reckon then u have display 100% Ultimate Charmer
Smooth, in control of himself emotionally, and displays warmth to people in a unpredictably fashion and talks about things to suit the audience of the people he talks too as if he is genuinely interested in knowing each one of them smoothly and controllably.

I POSTED A TOPIC ON HERE CALLED 'Lets figure out the Ultimate Charmer'...........>Add to it!

Ben

 

[alphamale1]

I reckon Charming is a skillset

and in that skillset is the following:

1. Talks about things that he knows interest his audience as he remembers their hobbies.
2. Sense of Humour
3. Welcoming people into conversations eg. if someone in the group hasnt said anything, asking that person 'what he got up too in the weekend?' or something..."charmer thinks about every person in the group"
4. Eliciting values
5. Trance Words
6. Being a good story teller.
7. Exaggerating the double take (doing something unpredictable with a ****y and funny attitude) which throws people off balance and makes them think "whoah, what just happened in front of my eyes" "this guy is amazing"

 

[alphamale1]

of course I believe that you would do all those listed in the skillset in moderation and unpredictably.

That way no one can ever figure u out.

Recently a girl said to me: "I cant figure you out"

 

[alphamale1]

And u know what......it makes sense right..

If no one can figure you out then BOOOM we must have hit the X marks the spot because we cant figure out 'CHARMING'

So if we cant figure out CHARMING or no one else has a concrete definition of CHARMING then charming is suppose to be
display each of the skills in the skillset in a moderate and unpredictable manner so that know one knows what CHARMING is.

Ben