The problem with going from AFC to DJ is that a part of you remains relationship oriented. The novelty of hooking up with a different girl every weekend starts to wear thin and you find yourself wanting more. If you date a hot girl after a while the emotions start kicking in and you start falling for her and wanting a relationship with her. Some guys are looking to score as many girls as possible; others are looking for a LTR with a quality (and totally gorgeous) woman.
This is where problems begin. I'm sure you've heard the DJ spiel: don't be needy, stay a challenge, be a man not a wuss etc etc. Much easier said than done especially when your emotions start to get involved and you develop feelings for the girl. The secret of bad boy/jerk types is that they just see women as sex objects or as possessions/property and do not have any emotional involvement.
What a lot of guys learn to do is to control their emotions. Love isn't mentioned on this site much. And for good reason. A typical story on this site is guy falls in love gets his heart broken and toughens up and doesn't allow himself to make the same mistake again.
The easy route is just to use girls for sex. But Im assuming if you are reading this post you are looking for more than this.
The hard route is to date these girls but stop yourself developing strong feelings for her and if you do hiding them and pretending like you don't care.
To a point your heart will harden naturally as you get more experience. Every time your heart gets broken it gets stronger. That is if you don't get bitter and turn into a jerk. But there is always going to be some girl you come across who you cannot help falling for. And the chances are she's going to be a raving beauty as I call them. The sort of girls who go through life leaving a trail of broken hearts. Immortalised by novels and songs.
Most of the time you really are best of staying clear of these girls or just treating them as trophy lays.
I do not know why but these girls are very unlikely to fall in love with you. They feel attraction to you, mostly because they are used to being able to get most guys and wrap them round their little fingers. Your charm is that you are a challenge. The moment you start liking them you stop being a challenge and they move on to new prey. And they have so much experience with guys you'll find it very hard to disguise your feelings and it just takes a couple of slips and it is game over. To keep them you need to keep playing games, playing hard to get and that sort of thing is not all that fun to keep up long term.
If a relationship is what you are looking for, I suggest a compromise. Just by lowering your looks standards a little, chances are you can find a girl who will respond to your DJ'ness by liking you a lot and provided you don't turn into a total AFC will continue liking you even when they realise you also really like them. You do not have to play games all the time and feel a lot more comfortable. You'll probably also have more fun because the girl will be less selfish, lower maintenance etc.
Looks is not the be all and end all when it comes to relationships. I'm not saying go for an ugly girl. But if you are a DJ you'll be more than capable of attracting a girl who is pretty, sexy and more than capable of turning you on. I call this a girl who passes the physical attraction test. For most people this will be 7s and 8s rather than 9s and 10s. Of course it is human nature to want the prettiest, the sexiest. But for relationships you'd be better off once the girl passes your physical attraction test concentrating more on her personality, her attitude, her interest level in you and linked to all of these her ability to make you happy which the raving beauties will generally score low on.
This is where problems begin. I'm sure you've heard the DJ spiel: don't be needy, stay a challenge, be a man not a wuss etc etc. Much easier said than done especially when your emotions start to get involved and you develop feelings for the girl. The secret of bad boy/jerk types is that they just see women as sex objects or as possessions/property and do not have any emotional involvement.
What a lot of guys learn to do is to control their emotions. Love isn't mentioned on this site much. And for good reason. A typical story on this site is guy falls in love gets his heart broken and toughens up and doesn't allow himself to make the same mistake again.
The easy route is just to use girls for sex. But Im assuming if you are reading this post you are looking for more than this.
The hard route is to date these girls but stop yourself developing strong feelings for her and if you do hiding them and pretending like you don't care.
To a point your heart will harden naturally as you get more experience. Every time your heart gets broken it gets stronger. That is if you don't get bitter and turn into a jerk. But there is always going to be some girl you come across who you cannot help falling for. And the chances are she's going to be a raving beauty as I call them. The sort of girls who go through life leaving a trail of broken hearts. Immortalised by novels and songs.
Most of the time you really are best of staying clear of these girls or just treating them as trophy lays.
I do not know why but these girls are very unlikely to fall in love with you. They feel attraction to you, mostly because they are used to being able to get most guys and wrap them round their little fingers. Your charm is that you are a challenge. The moment you start liking them you stop being a challenge and they move on to new prey. And they have so much experience with guys you'll find it very hard to disguise your feelings and it just takes a couple of slips and it is game over. To keep them you need to keep playing games, playing hard to get and that sort of thing is not all that fun to keep up long term.
If a relationship is what you are looking for, I suggest a compromise. Just by lowering your looks standards a little, chances are you can find a girl who will respond to your DJ'ness by liking you a lot and provided you don't turn into a total AFC will continue liking you even when they realise you also really like them. You do not have to play games all the time and feel a lot more comfortable. You'll probably also have more fun because the girl will be less selfish, lower maintenance etc.
Looks is not the be all and end all when it comes to relationships. I'm not saying go for an ugly girl. But if you are a DJ you'll be more than capable of attracting a girl who is pretty, sexy and more than capable of turning you on. I call this a girl who passes the physical attraction test. For most people this will be 7s and 8s rather than 9s and 10s. Of course it is human nature to want the prettiest, the sexiest. But for relationships you'd be better off once the girl passes your physical attraction test concentrating more on her personality, her attitude, her interest level in you and linked to all of these her ability to make you happy which the raving beauties will generally score low on.
