Carry Yourself Like a Seducer

[SexPDX]

The attitude of a seducer is one of power and confidence with women and with the world in general. Part of being such a person is to think and act like one. In theory, you should always feel your best, but that being easier said than done it helps to learn ways to manage your mental states through your behaviors. Mental states are important to manage because they are contageous and are communicated to the women you seduce.

When you outwadly act like a confident and powerful person, it reinforces those feelings inside you. Smile for a moment right now. Your mood has changed just because you are smiling. I know this because the physical act of smiling has certain emotions anchored to it. They are feelings of happiness, glee and lightheartedness.


So much of what you communcate to a woman is in your mannerisms and composure, things you may not even be aware of yourself. The following are some behaviors you can start practicing right this minute to make yourself a more effective seducer.

Control the Way You are Affected by Your Environment

While you cannot control what goes on around you, you can certainly control how YOU are affected by it. To be an effective seducer you have to be ready to go at all times. Many guys simply go into"pick up mode" when they are around women but spend most of their time in states they would even admit themselves they would not like to be in around a woman. If you are in a bad state, that is a problem and needs to be addressed the MINUTE YOU NOTICE IT. Even apart from women, life is too short to be spent in a bad state. Everyone has their own method of managing their states and getting themselves in the right frame of mind, so explore what yours may be.

Being combination of a kinesthetic and visual person myself, one of my methods of state management operates through those two modalities. I have a spot on my right hand near the base joint of my pinky where there are two lines that come off the edge of my palm. Whenever something happens that makes me feel totally confident and powerful I take a few moments focus in on that spot (visual) and pinch it lightly (kinesthetic). This anchors those feelings to sight of that spot and the feeling of that spot being pinched. When I feel I need it, and I do it sparingly so I don't confuse my anchoring, I glance down that that spot and pich it (just briefly this time) and it helps bring me back into focus.

Find some way of doing this that works for you.

Control Your Eyes

Hold eye contact steady when talking to a woman. It seems like common sense, but it's real easy to mess up. Pick one her her eyes and see your reflection in it. If you break eye contact momentarily, move your eyes to a fixed spot (maybe behind her) and then back. Don't look in too many different directions, you will come across as nervous and it it will make her nervous as well. Whatever you do, don't look down unless it's to check out her body briefly and bring your eyes back to hers. Make your eye moments as steady and dilerbate as you can rather than leave them to be thrown about by your subconcious impulse of the second (which is VERY easy to have happen).

Control Your Voice

When you are talking to a woman speak with depth and clarity. Practice talking this way on your own. Get a tonality down that sound goods to YOU. So that you actually get charged into a good communicable state by listening to the sound of your OWN voice. Relax. If you come to a point in talking when your tonality may break, just pause. There is nothing wrong with talking slowly or pausing. Your compusure is much more important than the fact that you happened to pause while you were speaking.

Control Your Face

Your default expression should be placid and relaxed. When you are in eye contact with a woman, smile but still keep your face devoid of all tension. Pertend there is a potato chip between your teeth that you cannot allow to be broken no matter how your expression changes, this will make you relax.

Start practicing these behaviors now and notice changes in your own mental state and notice differences in how women respond to you. Most importantly, remember to be in control but still be relaxed.

Nick

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- The seductionist formerly known as trickynick

You either own the game or it owns you.

~"Pon atencion al latido de tu corazon...y el ritmo de tu respiracion...como te permites llegar a ser completamente llevada...por la conexion que esta tomando lugar." ~

[This message has been edited by SexPDX (edited 06-25-2002).]

 

[Jester]

That anchoring stuff is weird bro, so you just look at your hand, and you automatically feel good?

Anyway, bout the smiling, smiling itself wont do anything for you. It will elicit an emotional response from others, but the smiler doesnt get anything from his own smile. On the otherhand, laughing will get you into a better mood, doesnt matter if its guinine or conciously induced.

Nice points about control tho, i think many people need to work on tonality especially. Get a microphone and hook it up to your PC.

[This message has been edited by Jester (edited 06-25-2002).]

 

[SexPDX]

Jester,

The anchoring methods I explained seem weird to you because what I explain that works for me would not work for you. You need to explore how your own mind works. Whatever you can do to control your own mental state in a positive way is worth doing. Of course it seems weird because you have never done it. But trust me, it's an ability that few people have and you are at a distinct advantage if you have it.

I disagree with you about the smiling. Try smiling even though you feel like shyt and see if you elicit the same responses in other people as if you were smiling because you were genuinely happy. The difference is immeasurable. Although just smiling alone will not make you extremely happy, it should change you mood to SOME degree. If it doesn't all then that means that you don't have very strong feelings anchored to the act of smiling.

However you DID say that laughing changes YOUR mood. That means that YOU (Jester) probably laugh when you feel good more than you just smile, hence the positive feelings associated with laughter.

Maybe I was wrong to project what smiling is to me on everyone else. When I do that with chicks I always say...

"I find that so fascinating...that whole subject...about how people experience the world and interact with others based on the way they experience it..."

LOL!

Nick

PS: Does my posting icon make you happier?

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- The seductionist formerly known as trickynick

You either own the game or it owns you.

~"Pon atencion al latido de tu corazon...y el ritmo de tu respiracion...como te permites llegar a ser completamente llevada...por la conexion que esta tomando lugar." ~

 

[Jester]

nah dude i was watching TLC "The Human Face" last night and thats proven stuff about laughing. Laughing releases serotonin in your brain, same with seeing someone else smile. So its not just me, its everybody with a completely function brain. It doesnt work when you enduce your own smile conciously because your brain can tell if its a fake and wont release the chems, the reverse of this is true for laughing.

man, brains rock.


[This message has been edited by Jester (edited 06-26-2002).]

 

[SexPDX]

Originally posted by Jester:
nah dude i was watching TLC "The Human Face" last night and thats proven stuff about laughing. Laughing releases endorphines or some chemical in your brain, same with seeing someone else smile. So its not just me, its everybody with a completely function brain. It doesnt work when you enduce your own smile conciously because your brain can tell if its a fake and wont release the chems, the reverse of this is true for laughing.

That may be true, I did not see the program. However it still does nothing to discredit my point about feelings anchored to smiling other than it is not due to a release of endorphines as you assert. You attempting to argue with me about how I KNOW I am anchored, THAT causes MY brain to release endorphines!

HeHeHe!

Nick

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- The seductionist formerly known as trickynick

You either own the game or it owns you.

~"Pon atencion al latido de tu corazon...y el ritmo de tu respiracion...como te permites llegar a ser completamente llevada...por la conexion que esta tomando lugar." ~

 

[Jester]

MMM what?

By feelings, im assuming you mean emotions.

Emotions are caused by chemicals dude, if theres no chemical release, theres no emotion.

 

[ESPN]

I think you two are right.
When you smiled for the first time, there were no anchors, so the chemicals got in your blood and you feel the good feeling.
But then as you smiled many times some anchors has been created in your muscles.

[This message has been edited by ESPN (edited 06-25-2002).]

 

[SexPDX]

Originally posted by Jester:

Emotions are caused by chemicals dude, if theres no chemical release, theres no emotion.

Okay, I am not a neurologist. I will however tell you from experience that ANCHORS AFFECT EMOTIONS. What that statement translates to on a biochemical level I don't know, but it is true. Am I to believe that YOU know enough about the brain that you are aware of EVERY event that could lead to SOME kind of chemical release that would affect a person's emotional state and the implications of each chemical release?

NIck

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- The seductionist formerly known as trickynick

You either own the game or it owns you.

~"Pon atencion al latido de tu corazon...y el ritmo de tu respiracion...como te permites llegar a ser completamente llevada...por la conexion que esta tomando lugar." ~

[This message has been edited by SexPDX (edited 06-25-2002).]

 

[mistyc]

great post nick!

 

[Sun-Tan Superman]

we got a nice debate goin on here.... i however lean towards the more anchored effect (what SEX is talking about)

IT may not work for some because nothing has been anchored very obiousley to u. If u really read into NLP and SS and all that. they all talk about Anchoring the feeligns being arguably the best thing, u use the patterns to get her into that state but to lock it in u need to anchor it.

If u are a person that has faked smiled alot and your brain has determined alot of it is being faked.... than just smiling to get urself in a good mood i doubt would work.

However for most people that DO have good feelings attched to when they smile than a good response is generally followed.

For example if i start to laugh very hard, even to the point where my stomache hurts i can usually look back at the same time to the last time i laughed that hard and had a good time like this.... the feelings of last time were anchored with the laugh

 

[Jester]

I'm going to have to do some research on this nlp stuff...something tells me it isnt as effective as some claim it to be. Not that you dont get results using this anchor thing and pattering, i just have yet to see anyone actually explain the mechanics behind it.

The only thing i can think of that might explain it is that the person just learns to associate a positive memory with a touch. And by doing that same touch again the person recalls that memory. The only thing is, causing an assosiation like that is not easy and it takes longer than one conversation.

So i must say balony for now..but im gonna go look into it.

 

[SexPDX]

Originally posted by Jester:

So i must say balony for now..but im gonna go look into it.

How about looking into it admitting that you are not yet in a position to assert if it's "balony" or not. Have an open mind instead of starting from a place from which your mind will be conditioned to attract reasons to support what you have already decided.

Nick

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- The seductionist formerly known as trickynick

You either own the game or it owns you.

~"Pon atencion al latido de tu corazon...y el ritmo de tu respiracion...como te permites llegar a ser completamente llevada...por la conexion que esta tomando lugar." ~

 

[cyclonus]

Ok, let me explain some stuff for the less endowed. Most NLP stuff can be explained through a basic class in behavior psychology people, geez. Read a book.

Do you know what classical conditioning is? That's all an anchor is. Now go f.ucking look it up if you don't know.

 

[Jester]

damn people chill out. i never said i was an expert in anything, and its not like any of you are. im just telling you the conclusion ive reached through what ive read so far, and since that wasnt enough to form somethin concrete, i will read much further.

Classic conditioning like with pavlovs dogs didnt happen after the first time that bell was rung now did it? It has been claimed that you can make an anchor during one conversation.

More to come...

EDIT: Heres the more.

Along with reading various college studies experimenting with NLP, none of which substantiated this, i came across an essay which examines NLP in depth.

Perhaps Robert Carrol can say it much better than I...
http://skepdic.com/neurolin.html

Its a bit lengthy so if youre lazy just read this, written by carrol.

in conclusion

It seems that NLP develops models which can't be verified, from which it develops techniques which may have nothing to do with either the models or the sources of the models. NLP makes claims about thinking and perception which do not seem to be supported by neuroscience. This is not to say that the techniques won't work. They may work and work quite well, but there is no way to know whether the claims behind their origin are valid. Perhaps it doesn't matter. NLP itself proclaims that it is pragmatic in its approach: what matters is whether it works. However, how do you measure the claim "NLP works"? I don't know and I don't think NLPers know, either. Anecdotes and testimonials seem to be the main measuring devices. Unfortunately, such a measurement may reveal only how well the trainers teach their clients to persuade others to enroll in more training sessions.


[This message has been edited by Jester (edited 06-25-2002).]

 

[cyclonus]

The number of times you associate one said thing with another is irrelevant to the actual point that associations are created with time. You have to start at one conversation much like you start at one ringing of the bell. It is not so black and white as "it's there" or "it's not there". The conditioning gets stronger and stronger the more times you continue to associate.

 

[Jester]

Then that wouldn't exactly be called "speed-seduction" now would it?

[This message has been edited by Jester (edited 06-25-2002).]

 

[cyclonus]

Ok, at this point you're simply looking for nitpicks against SS and NLP. First of all, let me preface that i'm not a fanboy of either of these, I simply am going to speak from experience from usage of either and my knowledge of behavioral psych.

An anchor is not a SS specific concept, is merely the NLP world's term (another word used is trigger) for classically conditioned associations. I'm pretty sure I've heard the term used in other areas of psych as well.

NLP Home Page Glossary: Anchor: Any stimulus that is associated with a specific response. Anchors happen naturally, and they can also be set up intentionally, for example, ringing a bell to get people's attention, or more subtle, standing in a particular place when answering questions. Anchoring: The process of associating an internal response with some external trigger (similar to classical conditioning) so that the response may be quickly, and sometimes covertly, re- accessed. Anchoring can be visual (as with specific hand gestures), auditory (by using specific words and voice tone), and kinaesthetic (as when touching an arm or laying a hand on someone's shoulder.)

Criteria for anchoring: a) intensity or purity of experience; b) timing; at peak of experience; c)accuracy of replication of anchor.

So you see that wherever you learned that a "perfect" anchor that will basically give you total control over a woman is created during the first time you condition her is very much misinformed source.

Anchors are not the source of SS's "speed". Speed Seduction is a much more complex system (which I'll admit I don't know that much of) that I'm afraid a lot of people like to question the validity of without either understanding or field-testing. I am not aware of any scientific validity of NLP or SS, but I'm quite sure that for every attack that NLP has no scientific basis, I can find one that supports it. I do know however that NLP is used in psychotherapy and that a lot of the "pseudoscientific" terms and aspects of it, I can explain in scientific terms.

If it don't float your boat, don't use it. On a personal level, SS to me simply is having an understanding of how the mind works and being a persuasive talker. "Patterns" are simply a strawman to attack.

 

[SexPDX]

Originally posted by Jester:
Then that wouldn't exactly be called "speed-seduction" now would it?

Jester, what does this comment have to do with anything? What we are discussing here with my method of controlling mental states through anchoring is a totally different application of NLP than speed seduction patterning. Let's try to stay on topic here.

How can it be determined that NLP works? How about learn about it and maybe even TRYING it rather than arguing pseudoscientifically about it on this message board.

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- The seductionist formerly known as trickynick

You either own the game or it owns you.

~"Pon atencion al latido de tu corazon...y el ritmo de tu respiracion...como te permites llegar a ser completamente llevada...por la conexion que esta tomando lugar." ~

 

[Just a girl]

Try this one out boys.... BE YOURSELF! There is no specific method to "getting" a woman. Really guys!

 

[cyclonus]

Just a Girl, since you are new here, I'll cut you slack. I am myself, and other confident men are too. If being myself were all I needed to get girls, life would be rather simple and relationship boards for both parties would not be necessary. If you can contribute to something more other than "be yourself", please feel free to do so.

Guys, I know her post will rile you up, but let's try to keep the flames down.

Edit: I'd put some further discussion in here. You are quick to use that line, but do you even know what being yourself means? I know it's a term thrown around in our society all the time as to sooth the people with low self-esteem trying to pose as others to somehow validate their existence, but what how does being yourself in that context relate to this site at all?

Does self-improvement mean that you're somehow changing the aspects of you that defines you as a person? Does having better social skills somehow turn you into a poser? Learning to be a better talker? Learning to have more control of your life?

I know it irks you to see the guys here talking about "techniques" and "methods" about getting "women", but I'm sorry that it's not the flowery language that would appeal to you. You don't think we know women are different? I understand that we make a lot of generalizations about women that might seem offensive, but just take it as locker room banter.

Do you honestly think that every single guy has the equal opportunity to be successful with women, as they are right now? And I mean that in a general sense. Does that fat ugly slob who's boring appeal more to you than the smooth talkin hottie? I shouldn't have to argue with you about this unless you are in denial. Have you ever told one of your girl friends "Hey, I don't know what it is about that guy but I'm really attracted to him" or "Yeah, he has this aura of appeal to him" or "He really know's how to push my buttons", or the like? Just b/c you don't know how to define "what it is about him" or the "buttons" he pushed doesn't mean we're totally incapable of doing so.

So once again, this is a site about how men can be more successful in their dealings with women, if you you can't contribute anything other than "Be yourself", then either hang out in Anything else or refrain from posting as it's rather inflammatory.

[This message has been edited by cyclonus (edited 06-25-2002).]