can't get past the numbers...

[moneyisking]

Had his happen lots of times. I get a number from a girl, everything is positive, she smiles, wants to hang out, then I cant get an actual date. Someone said getting her digit aint sh!t, not until you actually turn it into a date. That holds true.

Last week I hit on some chick, introducing names, asked her if single, told her shes cute and wana take her out. Shes all smiles, gives me digit, I txt her next day and she says shes working til bout 10, doesnt offer other available time, so I just tell her if she wants to come out to a party, let me know. She texts me later so I give her address, tells me later that shes going to oher party and keep me in touch.

At that point I am already thinking this is waste of my valuable time and txted her ok, then havent contacted her since. I think a ton of digits from girls follow this course, while the more positive ones will actually show active interest, or even offer other available times... lol I cant even imagine all the rejections and flakes the master djs had to go through to be where they are. I hope im learning from these though.

 

[LandingWood]

If she can come...let you know..

Sounds kinda desperate

 

[moneyisking]

If she can come...let you know..

Sounds kinda desperate

Nah she said she would let me know if she will . I got past the point of succumbing to female to get them. If I feel like it wont workout, I dont need make me look bad and desperate pursuing a chick.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Women will often give you their number even if they're no interested. So yeah, getting a number means very little.

 

[moneyisking]

Amen to that bro... the more numeros I get, the more I feel it in my bones that getting digits and indications of interests dont mean jack...

 

[pandapanda]

Hey man,

Part of my job is to do sales. So I know how frustrating dead ends can be.

In sales, we would call a number a hot lead. Someone has expressed interest and you have their contact info. The thing about leads is that people often lie about their interest for one reason or another, and many of those reasons are social (to not hurt feelings, etc.). Sometimes interest fades or circumstances fade.

It's generally good to "convert" 20% of hot leads to an in-person sales meeting (think dates). Few salespeople "close" more than 5% of their hot leads. I generate more business than I need and I do it with an 8-10% yield on hot leads. I get rejected 9 out of 10 times, at least, by those people most interested in becoming customers.

The thing is that I couldn't even serve 3 out of 10 leads. I only end up working with the most motivated customers who like my work the best.

So don't get discouraged. You are going through a selection process which has upsides. Break down your "pitch", your personal presentation, and all other variables and then be brutally honest about where you can improve.

My top sales tips: be confident (assume you will close every sale), be legit (dress right, speak correctly, use social skills), and be different in a good way (give her a reason to not do the default thing, turning a guy down).

 

[JoshSway]

Had his happen lots of times. I get a number from a girl, everything is positive, she smiles, wants to hang out, then I cant get an actual date. Someone said getting her digit aint sh!t, not until you actually turn it into a date. That holds true.

Last week I hit on some chick, introducing names, asked her if single, told her shes cute and wana take her out. Shes all smiles, gives me digit, I txt her next day and she says shes working til bout 10, doesnt offer other available time, so I just tell her if she wants to come out to a party, let me know. She texts me later so I give her address, tells me later that shes going to oher party and keep me in touch.

At that point I am already thinking this is waste of my valuable time and txted her ok, then havent contacted her since. I think a ton of digits from girls follow this course, while the more positive ones will actually show active interest, or even offer other available times... lol I cant even imagine all the rejections and flakes the master djs had to go through to be where they are. I hope im learning from these though.

Numbers don't mean much, even a k-close sometimes doesn't mean much. They are both common misleading indicators of interest. Focus on building attraction and not resting on your laurels with a number. I rarely bother to get numbers unless there is huge attraction.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Numbers really don't mean sh!t for a number of reasons:

1. Most attractive women are spinning plates and will ultimately respond to the highest value man in her rotation first.

2. Thanks to the PUA movement in recent years that pushes number closing, many women give numbers out because they know it will make the man leave. :crackup:

Remember this --> What is common loses its intrigue. Once successful PUA's started spilling all their secrets, their methods became mainstream. With so many men using their techniques, women can see it coming. They know men go for the phone number above all other things. So they just give it to get rid of him.

To avoid flaking a woman must view you as higher value in some way than her other options This is why its important for YOU to spin plates. A man who has many options just has a different vibe with women than other men. Its almost like she just knows you're a DJ. Most women want to experience a real DJ. So be one --> Spin plates.

Start with a rotation of HB6's or 7's and level up to the hotter girls as they start competing for your attention. Spinning plates ALONE automatically increases a man's value because the vast majority of men don't do it.

Remember --> What's unique is intriguing.

 

[DonGorgon]

Had his happen lots of times. I get a number from a girl, everything is positive, she smiles, wants to hang out, then I cant get an actual date. Someone said getting her digit aint sh!t, not until you actually turn it into a date. That holds true.

Last week I hit on some chick, introducing names, asked her if single, told her shes cute and wana take her out. Shes all smiles, gives me digit, I txt her next day and she says shes working til bout 10, doesnt offer other available time, so I just tell her if she wants to come out to a party, let me know. She texts me later so I give her address, tells me later that shes going to oher party and keep me in touch.

At that point I am already thinking this is waste of my valuable time and txted her ok, then havent contacted her since. I think a ton of digits from girls follow this course, while the more positive ones will actually show active interest, or even offer other available times... lol I cant even imagine all the rejections and flakes the master djs had to go through to be where they are. I hope im learning from these though.

numbers dont mean what they did 5 years ago... now females are over loaded with dudes due to male over population so they give their number to soo many men it no longer means anything and intact they ignore 85% if the texts they get from the dudes they gave their numbers to

 

[Iceberg]

lol I cant even imagine all the rejections and flakes the master djs had to go through to be where they are. I hope im learning from these though.

I don't know if I'm a "master DJ," but I've done my fair share of dating.

Once thing I'm wondering about your approach is - are you building rapport with these girls? Or are you just approaching them with some PUA tricks?

Sure, you can walk up to a girl at the mall and ask her for her name, and tell her she's cute. But is that really giving this girl a reason to want to go out with you one-on-one?

I deal with flakes and rejections too, but not nearly as much as I did 10 years ago. You need to develop some instincts in this game. You have to be able to distinguish between who is REALLY vibing you, and the girl's who are just chatting with you to be friendly.

Because, sure, a girl will give you her number. Even if they don't like you, they're not gonna reject you straight to your face. Girls don't like direct confrontation. They'll text you and string you along while they're deciding...and then they'll just cut you loose once it gets boring.

In order to avoid this, your job is to have a conversation with the girl to the point where you're an interesting guy who she wants to know more about...Instead of the "Hey, you're cute. Let me get your number." thing. None of my pickups ever involve the line "I think you're cute." Seriously. Never. Well, unless I'm already making out with her.

You gotta make your pickups feel less like pickups. That's the first thing. And another thing is, you gotta listen to your instincts. There are times when I get a girl's number, and I can tell that it's not going to go anywhere, so I just don't call her. Just by her interactions with me, or her face, or whatever vibe is in the air...I can just tell. So I don't call or text.

You ever hear girls complaining about how they give guys their numbers and the guys never call? I'm one of those guys.

Some people might call that quitting, but f**k that. I know when I have a buyer. I'm not gonna waste my time trying to sell some undecided girl on why I'm a good prospect. I only deal with buyers.

 

[mbas44]

I don't know if I'm a "master DJ," but I've done my fair share of dating.

Once thing I'm wondering about your approach is - are you building rapport with these girls? Or are you just approaching them with some PUA tricks?

Sure, you can walk up to a girl at the mall and ask her for her name, and tell her she's cute. But is that really giving this girl a reason to want to go out with you one-on-one?

I deal with flakes and rejections too, but not nearly as much as I did 10 years ago. You need to develop some instincts in this game. You have to be able to distinguish between who is REALLY vibing you, and the girl's who are just chatting with you to be friendly.

Because, sure, a girl will give you her number. Even if they don't like you, they're not gonna reject you straight to your face. Girls don't like direct confrontation. They'll text you and string you along while they're deciding...and then they'll just cut you loose once it gets boring.

In order to avoid this, your job is to have a conversation with the girl to the point where you're an interesting guy who she wants to know more about...Instead of the "Hey, you're cute. Let me get your number." thing. None of my pickups ever involve the line "I think you're cute." Seriously. Never. Well, unless I'm already making out with her.

You gotta make your pickups feel less like pickups. That's the first thing. And another thing is, you gotta listen to your instincts. There are times when I get a girl's number, and I can tell that it's not going to go anywhere, so I just don't call her. Just by her interactions with me, or her face, or whatever vibe is in the air...I can just tell. So I don't call or text.

You ever hear girls complaining about how they give guys their numbers and the guys never call? I'm one of those guys.

Some people might call that quitting, but f**k that. I know when I have a buyer. I'm not gonna waste my time trying to sell some undecided girl on why I'm a good prospect. I only deal with buyers.

Nice. I think following instincts is something I need to do more of. It has very rarely steered me wrong, in the fact that when I do something that just feels a tad.."off"..it ends up being in fact off. good post.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I agree with Iceberg. Trying to pick up random girl with "I think you're cute, give me your number" line is about as effective as cold calling people to sell a shamwow. You will be successful every once in a while, but your success rate will be low and frustration level high.

 

[HyperAnalyze]

Numbers mean absolutely nothing these days.

Unless you made an impression or really vibed with the girl, she will actually respond back.

Focus on the interaction and when she gives her number to you, test her immediately.

Ask her if she remembers your name, what she likes about you. etc.

 

[LandingWood]

Numbers really don't mean sh!t for a number of reasons:

1. Most attractive women are spinning plates and will ultimately respond to the highest value man in her rotation first.

2. Thanks to the PUA movement in recent years that pushes number closing, many women give numbers out because they know it will make the man leave. :crackup:

Remember this --> What is common loses its intrigue. Once successful PUA's started spilling all their secrets, their methods became mainstream. With so many men using their techniques, women can see it coming. They know men go for the phone number above all other things. So they just give it to get rid of him.

To avoid flaking a woman must view you as higher value in some way than her other options This is why its important for YOU to spin plates. A man who has many options just has a different vibe with women than other men. Its almost like she just knows you're a DJ. Most women want to experience a real DJ. So be one --> Spin plates.

Start with a rotation of HB6's or 7's and level up to the hotter girls as they start competing for your attention. Spinning plates ALONE automatically increases a man's value because the vast majority of men don't do it.

Remember --> What's unique is intriguing.

What if the only unique thing about you isn't relevant?
E.g played in NFL for like a season but not anymore? Is it still interesting?

 

[LandingWood]

Numbers mean absolutely nothing these days.

Unless you made an impression or really vibed with the girl, she will actually respond back.

Focus on the interaction and when she gives her number to you, test her immediately.

Ask her if she remembers your name, what she likes about you. etc.

It seems kind of insecure to ask someone what they like about you

 

[ArrogantBear]

What if the only unique thing about you isn't relevant?
E.g played in NFL for like a season but not anymore? Is it still interesting?

Do you have any pictures of that season. Bring it with you. Show it to every girl you meet
At least you can be unique as a dvmbass.

 

[LandingWood]

Do you have any pictures of that season. Bring it with you. Show it to every girl you meet
At least you can be unique as a dvmbass.

That's just an example lol

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

DON'T GET PHONE NUMBERS!!!

Give it to them and instruct them to hit you up.

 

[LandingWood]

DON'T GET PHONE NUMBERS!!!

Give it to them and instruct them to hit you up.

Gonna have to start doing this. Shows confidence. Give number walk away straight face.

 

[ArrogantBear]

Gonna have to start doing this. Shows confidence. Give number walk away straight face.

What is the straight face for?