Can you really CREATE attraction?

[Mike24ct]

My buddy and I were discussing this. I know many of the "gurus" tell us that with the right lines, the right body language etc., we can take a woman who is not attracted to us (i.e. not their type) and make them attracted to us.

Is this a myth used for marketing purposes, or is this REALLY true?

I personally think that the woman has to have at least SOME initial physical attraction for you or nothing will work. From there, you can use your game to show you are a cool guy and perhaps INCREASE the attraction, but not to create it in the first place.

However, that's just my thought. I would love to get you guys' honest opinions on this.

~~Mike

 

[Desdinova]

Is this a myth used for marketing purposes, or is this REALLY true?

It is true, as I've tried it out and have been successful.

It's true that there's some guys out there looking to make money who form theories based on society. But any of the gurus mentioned frequently here (Mystery, David D, Ross Jeffries) teach stuff that works.

David D teaches that attraction isn't a choice, and I have to agree with him. All of these gurus teach stuff that causes women to have certain emotional reactions. The women FEEL excited when they have an encounter with men equipped with these techniques, and attraction is formed.

Techniques work, but once you've used these techniques to attract her, then what? You have to keep her attracted, and a magic trick or a one-liner isn't goin to do that. That's why modifying your personality to become your BEST self is the way to go. If you're attractive all the time, you don't need to worry about techniques and lines.

 

[NorPacWolf]

It's Looks *And* Personality

It's not either/or my friend. It's both. Take a look at Neil Strauss's The Game. Strauss reports that his eventual girlfriend did not sleep with him right away, but that she needed to get to know him first over an extended period of time. I read an interview somewhere and she stated very directly (I'm paraphrasing): "I wasn't sure if I was physically attracted to him or not." But then she said she found him so interesting, she eventually began to become physically attracted to him.

If you are in a club or loud bar, many girls will fixate on your appearance in search of a hookup with a male hottie. You can read about some examples in my "small town sarging" thread.

Wolf

My buddy and I were discussing this. I know many of the "gurus" tell us that with the right lines, the right body language etc., we can take a woman who is not attracted to us (i.e. not their type) and make them attracted to us.

Is this a myth used for marketing purposes, or is this REALLY true?

I personally think that the woman has to have at least SOME initial physical attraction for you or nothing will work. From there, you can use your game to show you are a cool guy and perhaps INCREASE the attraction, but not to create it in the first place.

However, that's just my thought. I would love to get you guys' honest opinions on this.

~~Mike

 

[Heart Of Stone]

This was a response that was posted on a thread from a couple of years ago. It still holds true, as far as I'm concerned.

As long as a girl finds you SOMEWHAT GOOD LOOKING, you still have a shot at getting her. If you're just an average Joe, it will take you longer, but it can be accomplished.

If a girl DOESN'T FIND YOU AT ALL GOOD LOOKING, then you have no chance of getting her. None, Nada, Zilch....!!!!

It is human nature that people look at things that are pleasing to their eyes, and stay away from repulsive things.

If you don't believe me, try to picture a 400 pound fatty trying to hook up with you. She can throw every trick in the book at you, but there's no way in hell that you're going to hook up with her. Of course we all have different taste, but the majority of humans would find a 400 pound fatty repulsive.

Men and women actually go about the selection process in the same manner. It all depends on what one is looking for at a particular time.

If a woman goes to a bar just to get laid, she'll start off by giving signals to the guy she finds the best looking. If the guy shows no interest or misses the signals, she'll move on to the next guy that she finds the next best looking. She'll go through this process until someone shows interest or picks up on her signals. Eventually she'll work her way down to the average Joe. As long as she finds him somewhat good looking, he's still alive in the game.

The same thing goes if a woman is looking for a relationship with a guy. She'll start off with the best looking guy and work her way down the looks ladder until she finds the right guy that has the qualities she's looking for.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Troops!



Yes, I believe that you can create attraction. But I don't believe you can create it instantly in someone who doesn't think of you as their "type". What I DO believe is what has been stated above is MORE correct:

If a babe finds you SOMEWHAT attractive, you have a chance of building on that attraction until you reach the point where the babe is WILLING to have sex with you.

Then the question becomes:

Do you have the time, energy, and INTEREST in doing what it takes to get a woman who thinks that you're "not her type" to AGREE to have sex with you?


For me the answer is usually "NO".

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I'm of the opinion that you can create attraction in your preparation, your physical bearing, confidence and certainly in your approach, but you CANNOT negotiate attraction after the fact. This is always going to be a grey area for guys because we want sex so much we can always rationalize for ourselves that it just took a woman a while to 'warm up' to us, when in fact her options with better prospects dried up and we were the next best thing. This can then lead to a girl getting involved with a man who she's settled for and 6-8 month later (or God forbid, longer) gets restless and she realizes she's more attracted to someone else. She bails for a guy she's genuinely hot for, the guy sees her as fickle and it's over, but for that stretch of time where he's banging a chick who had previously blew him off he's justified.

A lot of guys I know subscribe to the old idiom that a girl decides if she'll fvck you in the first 5 minutes of meeting you, but I'd change that to saying a girl decides if she WONT fvck you in the first 5 minutes. It's the initial impression and the associated attraction and emotions that leave a girl wanting more or moving on. I think DeAngelo is half right, attraction isn't a choice and can't be negotiated, but you can stack the odds in your favor an influence that initial attraction.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

This is an interesting post---

My current girlfriend blew me off when I first attempted to game her in the mall 6 months ago; 4 months from that time we ended up in the same class and I ignored her the whole time. During the last 3 weeks of class she asked me to partner up with her for some lab work and we clicked and ended up dating.

I'm not sure what happened from the mall experience until now--- Im guessing I enthraled her with my personality/sex and now she cant get enough of me.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Self-Mastery,


I think there is a difference between a chick rejectiing you for NOT being that attracted to you, as opposed to a chick shutting you down before giving you a chance in the first place.

In your situation, I would guess that what happened during your initial mall meeting was that she just had some major Biitch Shields up. Why? Who knows?

Maybe she was involved with some other guy. Maybe she was too distracted by whatever else was going on in her life at the time. Or maybe she was just on her period and her hormones were putting her in "a mood".

I think your chick WAS attracted to you and you WERE her type. She was probably just overwhelmed with other crap at the time. Think about it...

But as Rollo just stated, attraction is something that you have a chance to create/boost on the initial meeting----by being the best YOU you can be. If you don't generate it at that moment, then you got yourself an uphill battle from then on.

Personally, I'm not, and have NEVER been the kind of guy who pursues babes JUST for the conquest. Actually, if I find out that a babe is not that physically attracted to me because I'm not HER TYPE----it's a major turn off to me.

To me, if it can't be love and committment (which is my ultimate goal), there should at least be some form of strong sexual interest. To me, sex is not just something I DO to a babe, it's something we both want to DO to each other.

So if a babe isn't into me physically, I feel like she's just using me as a human dildo. Then I feel cheated. I feel like "why the hell should I give this babe the benefit of the BIG BONE when she's that not into me sexually?"

I've said it before: There's a difference between a babe fukking you and "giving you some pussssy'. Now I would like to add one more caveat:

There's also a difference between a babe giving you some pussssy as opposed to just 'getting herself off and using yo' asss to do it."

Although I personally still have problems with the concept of the whole fukk buddy thing (and yes, I have been engaging in this lately with mixed emotions), even those types of "relationships" are more attractive to me than entering one with a woman who's "not that into me physically".

Why? Well consider this:

Even a Fukk Buddy actually WANTS to fukk you because you at least turn her on PHYSICALLY.



Think about it...

 

[RedPill]

In your situation, I would guess that what happened during your initial mall meeting was that she just had some major Biitch Shields up. Why? Who knows?

Maybe she was involved with some other guy. Maybe she was too distracted by whatever else was going on in her life at the time. Or maybe she was just on her period and her hormones were putting her in "a mood".

I think sometimes we tend to forget one of the fundamentals of succeeding in this game - never enter her reality! As you remind us here Victory, there's dozens of variables factoring into why chicks feel what they feel and do what they do.

Common sense and her actions will tell you if she's into you physically or not. There's way too many debates around here on whether or not one can create attraction when there's none to begin with, or whether one can have a fulfilling relationship with a woman who wasn't highly attracted to them at first. Obviously, as Rollo points out, it's advantageous to framing the relationship if her first impressions of you leave her highly attracted because a) it shows you're not viewed as a secondary option, and b) it puts you in a position of power. However, whenever we spend time trying to analyze a woman's physical interest level in us, we're taking steps toward her reality, and we all know where that road goes...

 

[Jariel]

Sometimes women like the attention or the way a guy makes her feel about herself, so she'll give him a chance. She might even fall in love with the idea of having a boyfriend or someone who is attracted to her, but when it comes down to it, that guy will never be the man of her dreams.

I've had a lot of girls in relationships who want sex with me because although they feel secure and comfortable in their relationships, they lack sexual attraction (and therefore lack sexual fulfillment too), and need to seek it elsewhere.

I've been in that situation myself where I've been involved with a woman I'm not majorly attracted to, and even though I've been faithful, I have secretly craved and fantasized about sex with other women. Alternatively, I've been with women I'm physically attracted to, yet whose personality I hated, and found myself craving a much nicer and more suitable woman.

So you can definitely win over a woman and even have sex, or a relationship with her, but if she's not genuinely attracted to you to begin with I don't believe you can change that fact without changing yourself. And if you're not the whole package, she will be left craving that something that is missing.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I like VICTORY's point; I would rather have a fukk buddy with less committment than be involved with a woman who I had to coerce into getting together with me. Just speaking from my own experience, I can tell you that the most memorable sex I've ever had was with women I fukked the night we met. It's that spontaneous chemical reaction that makes for a good partner. In fact, for the most part it's the women I had to really work on who had the most lackluster performances in bed. I've had women climb through second story windows to bang me because they wanted to get after it. If a woman wants to fukk you she'll find a way to fukk you, it's the women you have to negotiate with who are rarely worth the effort.

 

[Arsinel]

Who knows?

 

[Victory Unlimited]

it's the women you have to negotiate with who are rarely worth the effort.

EXACTLY.

If you're really not a woman's TYPE (see---the kind of guy who, ESPECIALLY physically, that turns her on), she will be FOREVER lusting after the type of guys who do. I don't want to put a woman through this, and I sure as hell don't want some babe putting ME through this either.

To me, this is another form of the woman "settling" for yo' asss. No one wants to be the consolation prize. No one really wants to be the "little engine that could". No we ALL want to be the "hot steamy LOCOMOTIVE that blew her off her tracks!!" lol

There's a reason why women today OPENLY lust after actors, music artists, male models, and other various HIMBOS...it's because women are far more vocal now about the type of guy that turns them on sexually.

If I were to "settle" for some babe who I knew was "settling" for me, then I will have resigned myself to a life of quiet desparation and suspicion.

Desparation because deep down I would know that I was supplicating to her---thinking I am lucky to have her.

Suspicion because I would also know that this babe would only be as faithful to me as her options. So whenever the Mr. BBD (Mr. bigger better deal) shows up, our "relationship" will be in major jeapordy.

Either way, my asss would be on a timer. And once she really finds someone who is more HER TYPE, then my time will be up!! lol

Victory Unlimited's Moment of Full Disclosure:

I guess the reason why I'm taking this thread so personally is because at one point in my life, I used to be the "cute and scrawny" type of guy that women didn't go for. But after working on myself, my looks, and my body---now I'm much more the "handsome and athletic" type of guy that most women SAY that they prefer.

Although, i'm no bodybuilder by any means, the change in me over the past ten years has been significant. But there is STILL a part of me that battles with all these "self-image vs. women's preferences" type of issues.

But having said all that. This is one of the major reasons why spinning plates for me is probably a little HARDER than it is for most guys. Why? Because I have vowed to never pursue a chick unless I ALREADY know that I am STRONGLY physically attracted to her.

You see, I KNOW me. I can have a wandering eye that will easily lead to a wanderLUST. A babe REALLY has to fit my physical wish list to keep me feeling satisfied.

That way, when the day finally comes when i've found a babe that's LTR /Marriage worthy, my desire to bang other chicks will not be AS strong. Why? Because THEN when I see a hot babe I won't have to just sit there and eat my heart out.

No, instead I'll be able to say "Dam, that babe is fine...just like MY babe.


Yes Troops. Initial physical attraction is VERY important.



Peace...one day.

 

[Jariel]

EXACTLY.

If you're really not a woman's TYPE (see---the kind of guy who, ESPECIALLY physically, that turns her on), she will be FOREVER lusting after the type of guys who do. I don't want to put a woman through this, and I sure as hell don't want some babe putting ME through this either.

To me, this is another form of the woman "settling" for yo' asss. No one wants to be the consolation prize. No one really wants to be the "little engine that could". No we ALL want to be the "hot steamy LOCOMOTIVE that blew her off her tracks!!" lol

There's a reason why women today OPENLY lust after actors, music artists, male models, and other various HIMBOS...it's because women are far more vocal now about the type of guy that turns them on sexually.

If I were to "settle" for some babe who I knew was "settling" for me, then I will have resigned myself to a life of quiet desparation and suspicion.

Desparation because deep down I would know that I was supplicating to her---thinking I am lucky to have her.

Suspicion because I would also know that this babe would only be as faithful to me as her options. So whenever the Mr. BBD (Mr. bigger better deal) shows up, our "relationship" will be in major jeapordy.

Either way, my asss would be on a timer. And once she really finds someone who is more HER TYPE, then my time will be up!! lol

Victory Unlimited's Moment of Full Disclosure:

I guess the reason why I'm taking this thread so personally is because at one point in my life, I used to be the "cute and scrawny" type of guy that women didn't go for. But after working on myself, my looks, and my body---now I'm much more the "handsome and athletic" type of guy that most women SAY that they prefer.

Although, i'm no bodybuilder by any means, the change in me over the past ten years has been significant. But there is STILL a part of me that battles with all these "self-image vs. women's preferences" type of issues.

But having said all that. This is one of the major reasons why spinning plates for me is probably a little HARDER than it is for most guys. Why? Because I have vowed to never pursue a chick unless I ALREADY know that I am STRONGLY physically attracted to her.

You see, I KNOW me. I can have a wandering eye that will easily lead to a wanderLUST. A babe REALLY has to fit my physical wish list to keep me feeling satisfied.

That way, when the day finally comes when i've found a babe that's LTR /Marriage worthy, my desire to bang other chicks will not be AS strong. Why? Because THEN when I see a hot babe I won't have to just sit there and eat my heart out.

No, instead I'll be able to say "Dam, that babe is fine...just like MY babe.

What a great post!!!

I like that instead of resorting to tactics and looking for short cuts to basically get a woman to settle for you, you changed yourself and made yourself more attractive. I did the same thing and have come across no better solution!

 

[Bonhomme]

And then there are the times when the attraction is there in spades, but other issues (age, religion, distance, whatever) get in the way...

These situations are more interesting, from a psychological viewpoint, and can manifest themselves in some very strange and apparently contradictory behavior (e.g. "attack" hugs and other physical indications of attraction accompanied with strong verbal "friendship" or anti-sexual references).

 

[Victory Unlimited]

True.

There are always OTHER factors besides physical attraction that are important to starting a POSSIBLE relationship with a woman. Religion, personality traits, cultural background, etc. DO play a major role in forming successful relationships.

But I have found that in my experience (even MOST recently) that a babe can be into you mentally, spiritually, and socially and STILL NOT want to Fukk you!

Sad but true. I had a girl tell me this recently. She said that she was into me in ALL ways, but only BARELY sexually. I ended that shiit with the quickness. No way was I gonna set myself up for some ASSURED future heartbreak. I knew it was better to do it this way, I said to myself:

"It either ends now, or it ends even more BADLY."

Also in my experience, I've found that there is NO better way to get a girl emotionally INTO you than by righteously boning her like she's never been boned before!

It's far easier, I think, to turn someone who's attracted to you physically into YOUR woman than it is to turn someone who's attracted to you mentally and spiritually into YOUR woman.

It seems like there's SOMETHING about the sexual component that effectively SEALS the deal between men and women. It's almost like them getting the dyck from a guy they REALLY are attracted to pricks their emotions like nothing else!




What do y'all think?

 

[Bonhomme]

It's far easier, I think, to turn someone who's attracted to you physically into YOUR woman than it is to turn someone who's attracted to you mentally and spiritually into YOUR woman.

Absolutely. Your post is like the other half of the picture that my typing finger couldn't get out, VU. Chemistry really runs the show.

That's the main reason I find online dating bassackwards.

But those sort of involvements in which the chemistry far exceeds the compatibility can be pretty dramatic, to put it mildly... unless the "issue" has more to do with what other people think, such as age.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

I have secretly craved and fantasized about sex with other women.

FKING SHOCKER!

Is anyone else tired of worrying about what women want or the science of attraction???

Formula for getting women= look good + personality + an ounce of game = success

we can stop posting now!

 

[Latinoman]

I like VICTORY's point; I would rather have a fukk buddy with less committment than be involved with a woman who I had to coerce into getting together with me. Just speaking from my own experience, I can tell you that the most memorable sex I've ever had was with women I fukked the night we met. It's that spontaneous chemical reaction that makes for a good partner. In fact, for the most part it's the women I had to really work on who had the most lackluster performances in bed. I've had women climb through second story windows to bang me because they wanted to get after it. If a woman wants to fukk you she'll find a way to fukk you, it's the women you have to negotiate with who are rarely worth the effort.

I agree with this too.

 

[Cod3r]

This is always going to be a grey area for guys because we want sex so much we can always rationalize for ourselves that it just took a woman a while to 'warm up' to us, when in fact her options with better prospects dried up and we were the next best thing.

^ ^ ^ This cracked me up, seriously rolling on the floor crying when I read this. NOT because I disagree, I agree 200%.

This was my situation, my current girlfriend when I met her was fooling with her current bf. I was attractive to her both physically and personality, but not her TYPE. I'm skinny, but great style and face to make up for it... she likes the 6'3 230 lb guys (i'm 5'10 /145 haha). Her bf was the athletic big latino rico suave type and when he dumped her, I was the next best thing and she came to me....

Now most guys would say, "F*CK THAT, I don't want no girl that came to me as the next best thing"... but me, having had alot of experiences in life (eventho only 21) have learned that if you want the 'candy', it dosen't matter how you get it, whether you steal it, someone gives it to you, you buy it, who gives 3 ****s ?? At the end of the day you're eating ur candy !!!

Now I know some of you are going to retort, "she's going to leave you when she meets someone hotter" but OHHH CONTRAIR, my game --> lets not even call it game, i stopped that a year ago... my cod3rness is pretty 110% on point once I get my foot in the door. She's soooo infatuated with me now, can't get enough, already discussing engagement, kids ect... whoaaa

--
So here's the conclusion, it's initally about appearance to a degree... girl has to find SOMETHING about you attractive in the instant she meets you, even if its not physical. A cute style, cute glasses, funny accent, fly is open, wierd but interesting ears, SOMETHING that strikes her as attractive....

Once this happens you now have a chance, even if you're not HER TYPE physically, because you can be her type emotionally and since women are emotional creatures that's all we need. As MEN, we have a secret weapon that females don't have.... we can become more physically attractive to women through emotional connection. A guy that's a 6, can become a 9 PHYSICALLY through emotional attraction, the things she thought weren't her type will now be a source of utter lust and physical desire...

IE
My girl admitted that she didn't like my business casual style (she likes the street, ghetto wear) and now we have sex while i'm in doc martins and a suit jacke haha, women are sooo interesting and funny... hope u guys see them like i do, all in good fun !!!!


-Cod3r