Can you be too indifferent?

[msi]

So some of the best advice on here is to just "be indifferent" and admittedly, I first started doing this as a facade, but it has become a reality... there is just absolutely no reason to not be indifferent to a woman you've just met. I'll get a girl out 1 on 1, and truly not give a **** about what happens, whether or not there is a second get together or if we hook up or anything, and sure enough, she'll contact me before long. And I'd assume if she wasn't interested, she wouldn't do that. So it seems like being indifferent will naturally weed out the women who aren't that interested or who are on the fence about you.

But can you be too indifferent? I have stopped contacting women I talk to 100%. If I run into them, or they talk to me, I am friendly and upbeat and a bit flirty, but I do not go out of my way to contact any woman and I don't go out of my way to ask them out, it's all done casually.

Will women lose interest if you're too indifferent?

 

[Droz88]

Yes you can. I don't know exactly where the line is though. You have to communicate that you are interested in them but if you keep that communication up they will play some stupid game and run away from you just to flatter themselves. But if you communicate just a little and then completely withdraw they may also decide that you're no fun or they have too much pride to chase you and nothing will happen then either. So there is a fine balance and there are other factors you have to consider.

I'm now of the opinion that chasing women and being able to go out and secure sex might as well be a major in college. Just like there is a lot of science in medicine, there is also an art to it. It is no different here, there is an art and a science to being able to attract and lay hot women. So when a lot of guys say not to focus too much on "being alpha" or whatever, what we are really saying is to balance the art and science to it and not just focus on the science.

 

[JohnnyStorm]

Obviously. Women and everyone will lose interest if you are "too indifferent". Just imagine someone aloof, rude and seemingly not interested in listening to you. Would you hang around and continue to talk to this person?

Of course not, even if you fancied them you'd give them a few IOI's and then if they didn't pick up on them and continued to be aloof you'd just move on.

If there is someone you are genuienly interested in and you are being aloof for the sake of it, then you are not a DJ, you're just a boy playing games. Read Alan Roger Currie's "Mode One" about being direct.

 

[youngmack]

Can someone give us tips and methods on how to implement indifference (but not too much) in your game to bang broads?

 

[muscleman]

As you gain experience, you learn to calibrate according to your own personality. The amount of attention you give isn't a strict rule. There are too many factors and you have to find a balance that works for you. The more women you plow through, the more you hone your spidey sense of when to be indifferent, when to cut contact entirely, and when to give em a little luuvvv. It's an art.

In general though, it can be summed up as follows: make your intentions known through your actions and have fun. If she's into you, it will progress to sex. If she's not, no big deal, cut her off and move on to the next one. It's not that you don't care (you do, after all you're spending time with her and are entertaining a favorable outcome), it's just that if she's not going to hop on your c0ck, some other girl will. Abundance mentality, even if you don't have another girl lined up just yet.

 

[Demonicale]

This is the new mindset i've had to take now.
I think being indiffrent with women is the way to go,less stress i think

 

[msi]

Obviously. Women and everyone will lose interest if you are "too indifferent". Just imagine someone aloof, rude and seemingly not interested in listening to you. Would you hang around and continue to talk to this person?

Of course not, even if you fancied them you'd give them a few IOI's and then if they didn't pick up on them and continued to be aloof you'd just move on.

If there is someone you are genuienly interested in and you are being aloof for the sake of it, then you are not a DJ, you're just a boy playing games. Read Alan Roger Currie's "Mode One" about being direct.

Well, I'm not being rude or avoiding anyone. If a woman I am interested in contacts me, or starts talking to me, I'm glad, and I show it. I am not the flirty-est person in the world anyway, but I still do it sparingly.

I will say that I do never go out of my way to talk these women (some are in college classes) and sometimes I think it's too much. I am so caught up in "never chase women" that I never go and initiate a conversation with them, and I wait for them to talk to me.

After writing that, I guess it does sound pretty stupid. Some women could interpret that as playing games, which I'm not trying to do. A lot of the material on this site says that when you don't chase women/put them on a pedestal, they rage, and don't know what to make of it. It seems like giving her too much attention would be best, but what happens if you are genuinely interested in her and some other guy gives her the attention she wants while you're acting indifferent? Indifference would imply the outcome doesn't matter, but that would still sting a little bit.

 

[DoubleAG]

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/03/08/the-aloof-alpha-attitude-explained/

 

[msi]

That's a good way of articulating it.

I guess I'm mixing being indifferent with being aloof.

Girls in college classes are a PITA for me. I've messed some up this semester by talking to them too much, sitting near them, walking out with them, etc. I think it's best to not change your routine for a girl in your class. What do you guys think?

 

[LittleBigOne]

Yes, you can be too indifferent:

No contact ..... no woman

 

[konmai]

Girls in college classes are a PITA for me. I've messed some up this semester by talking to them too much, sitting near them, walking out with them, etc. I think it's best to not change your routine for a girl in your class. What do you guys think?

Yea, I see a lot of guys doing this. Talking too much to a girl, sitting near them, offering them food, etc...when the girl hasn't done anything to elicit such friendliness other than being a girl. When the dude walks away, the girl smirks or starts bad mouthing him with her friends.

What's been working for me is focusing on school. The hottest girl in the class came and sat next to me, started talking to me, etc.... The girl I have my eye on even waited for me outside of class. Sometimes it's hard to treat them as you would anyone else, when they start to give you this kind of attention though.

 

[Falcon]

Yes, as many posters already said, you can be too indifferent. That was probably the biggest mistake I made when I got exposed to the pickup stuff long ago. I was already non-reactive, even aloof to begin with.. I read the material and thought if I did it more it would somehow benefit me. Same results, which was no results, except I guess was more detached.

Being indifferent only works if you have something they want, whether it be looks, personality, social value, or something they find interesting about you. If you're a chode/afc and you act indifferent, well then you're just an indifferent chode/afc. She won't give a ****. That's probably even better for her.

But at the same time, if you are super needy and desperate it's just as bad, probably even worse. At least when you are indifferent, you aren't investing too much of your time or emotions into the equation. The way I see it, unless you are way too needy, being more indifferent likely wont make significant changes to your results

 

[oscarkool]

I tend to be on the same boat. I got laid enough this year and had a few crazy relationships that I have literally have no desire to put effort into getting any romance for the past month or so. I have zero desire to go out to meet women. I will go out with friends and all, but I can honestly care less if I am getting women or not.

Which has made me a horrible wingman lately, lol... But I also think this is perfectly healthy. You have the guys who are lazy and don't try simply because they have no balls, and you have the guys like me that aren't in the mood for getting pvssy for various reasons. And of course the guys that only think about pvssy and it's all they want at the end of the day.

I see myself as simply moving beyond the whole getting girls thing. Out of all my priorities in life, getting laid is sitting around number 6 - not 1 like most guys here. It's fun and all being able to get good at pulling and dating multiple girls, but it honestly gets old after awhile. At least for me. It's good life experience though.