Came out of lurking to ask for help

[dingmachine]

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I've been talking to a 21yo HB9 for about a month. We met at a club and hit it off instantly. We've been texting consistently since then, albeit we only send one or two texts a day (my choice ... new game tactic) and they are often spaced hours apart. Sometimes we go a day or two without texting, but it's always at the natural end to a conversation.

Our first date was good, then I went out of town for the holidays and only recently came back to where I live. She sniffed around wanting to know my NYE plans but, because I was taking another girl, I didn't tell her much. I ended up losing my phone on NYE but got it back on Friday. I texted her for the Day 2, which she accepted.

THEN she says, "I'm sorry I forgot that my friend's going away party for work is at Club X tonight. Do you want to meet me there?"

I say sure, then round up four of my buddies to roll with me to the club. Once we get there, I instantly recognize that this girl is into me and that she brought her friends along for the stamp of approval. Though 21, she's clearly interested in dating older men because she has a marriage focus.

UNFORTUNATELY, her friends were the biggest CBs I've ever encountered. Within 30 minutes of meeting me, they instantly start chiming (over and over again) that I'm a player and saying that I'm a player to my face in front of the girl. I try agreeing and amplifying ("Yup! The biggest!"), but they press on so I finally say, "Enough of this. I used to be one, I'm not one anymore. Let's just have fun."

The friends want to go to another club, and HB9 practically begs me to go with her. I hem and haw and then decide to go. Good kino, and we're still hitting it off. Once we get there, one of her friends keeps giving me a dirty look, so I ask her friend, "Hey, am I making you uncomfortable because I'll just leave." She says, "YES." I walk off to another part of the club and run some sets not really giving a ****. Neither HB9 nor her friends see me run these sets (the club is huge).

I run into HB9. She asks, "Where have you been? I've been looking for you!" I told her that her friends wanted me to leave her alone so I left. I tell her, "Your friends are very protective of you, but it's cool." She tells me it's because they know her past. I have a strong feeling she moved to my state to be with a boy who cheated on her/left her for another woman, but this is just intuition. She hasn't told me this.

She says they're leaving and, since they're my ride, wonders if I want to go with them. I say no, tell her I'll just take a cab back and wish her a good night. I text her when I get home to let her know I got home safe, and then lied and said I had fun with her friends but they're pistols and very protective.

She texts me the next day:

"I apologize for last night. My friends are super protective over me. We're like that for each other."

I respond, three hours later:

"It's cool they're just looking out for you."

She has not responded to that text.

Please help me answer the following:

(1) Lost cause or continue to pursue?

(2) Is she waiting for me to double text (ack! I hate double texting!) or was her apology text a soft blowoff?

(3) Assuming her text wasn't a soft blowoff, how do you go about keeping her friends at bay while you continue to pursue?

I'm guessing they'll stop at nothing to ensure that I don't get a Day 3, so it would be really helpful if someone could help me work through this issue. I did the game tactics you're supposed to do when called a player, but it was too much for these super hos. Seriously. That was some of the hardest **** testing I've ever encountered, and I'm surprised I got out of it as (relatively) unscathed as I did.

Thanks in advance.

TL;DR: HB9 is super into me, but her friends pulled an unbelievably bold CB and may have destroyed it for good. She apologized for her friends' conduct, but recent radio silence has me thinking she's bolting for the exits. Looking for help and game advice for yet another bizarro situation that seems to only happen to me.

 

[ArmyBoyATC]

Ok I'm willing to bet she is behind her friends that are CB'ing you. She is tellin them to do that. Basically, when they are there around her, you lose control. You're not in charge. You made a mistake by walking away from them. It's a test.

I'd deal with this 1 of 2 ways

1) fight back against her friends, tell them to go away if you're making them uncomfortable. Refuse to leave if they ask you to. F them. Ask her why she lets them run her life.

2) (my way) I'd wait for her to respond to the text, make plans for an activity alone with her. If she comes back with "my friends this or that" I'd just drop it.

Me personally, I have better stuff to do than get beat up by a bunch of buckets of yuck, mad cause I'm good enough to get with the friend. There are lots of HB9's out there bro. Some even have cool friends.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I think you played this one great And your response at the end: "It's cool they're just looking out for you." IMO was perfect. I'm wondering though, if you could have thrown in a "but you owe me one " But your girl was cool. You did have to pass a lot of $hit tests from her friends, and if anything I don't see why they wouldn't give you the thumbs up in the future. It's an HB9, so take it as a "work" night. Kiciking $hit tests asses. Putting some work in, investing in a good thing.

I'd give it a few days, and if you haven't heard anything from her, text her on Thursday and try to set something up for the weekend, and tell her this time to leave her friends at home.

Or, if you're not feeling it.

Wait it out, give the soft next till she contacts you.

 

[dasein]

Started a hard and fast rule, "no group dates/friends/parties until at least 5-7 one on ones and we are having sex regularly" after so many experiences similar to OP's in my 20s. Sex usually comes faster with less hassle and drama under this rule. Has served me well, consider a similar rule, OP. Good luck.

 

[dingmachine]

Ok I'm willing to bet she is behind her friends that are CB'ing you. She is tellin them to do that.

Agreed. It's likely she told them she thought I was a player, told her friends about my game techniques (I've been using a lot she has tight game), and when they saw me and how well I get along with girls in person it confirmed their suspicions.

I think you played this one great And your response at the end: "It's cool they're just looking out for you." IMO was perfect.

Thanks. The reason I posted here is that I posted the same story in the Attraction Forums and some poster said I blew every test thrown at me. When i asked what he would have done, he said he would have told the friends to **** off. Sure that's what I wanted to say, but I'm not actually going to say that. Doesn't anybody read Heartiste on that site? Staying calm and collected wins the day. I'm removing my username from that site.

3 hrs was too long to wait to respond, if only because you will second guess doing that. It might make you seem manipulative to her.

You're probably right but I wasn't tethered to my phone that day. The Chargers were in the playoffs.

That or she is too busy with other guys to have even noticed.

Possibly, but her IOIs at the club suggest that I'm at least at the top of the list. (Or was.)

OP, first of all observe the rules of the Mature Man forum and make sure that you're over 25 and that your age is listed in your profile stats. Ensure you do this or your post and thread will be deleted or moved. Because of your comments that your target is into older men, I'll assume you're over 25.

Yup. 30. I've fixed it.

Now for my advice: don't waste any more time texting back and forth like a couple of teenage girls. You spent an entire night with her clubbing, this is more than enough. Stop focusing so much on her friends when you text or call her. They're not around any more (unless they're monitoring her texts with you too haha).

I'd give it a few days, and if you haven't heard anything from her, text her on Thursday and try to set something up for the weekend, and tell her this time to leave her friends at home.

I have other plans this weekend so I can't do that, but I'll give her a call on Monday. Most likely I'll get voicemail, in which I'll just say I was waiting for things to calm down a bit before reaching out and for her to call me back when she gets the message. That's when I'll go for the Day 3, unless I decide it's not worth it. I'm on the fence. She's a solid 9, but I'm a little too old for this kind of drama.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I'd maintain radio silence.
The longer she doesn't hear from you, the more her hamster will start nuking itself wondering if you're p1ssed off with her because of her friends.
I like the plan of calling her on Monday to set up a date.
Stay ghost until then. Hopefully she'll be relieved to hear from you and also take the hint from your period of NC that you won't stand for her friends being cvnts.
Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[dingmachine]

I like the plan of calling her on Monday to set up a date.
Stay ghost until then. Hopefully she'll be relieved to hear from you and also take the hint from your period of NC that you won't stand for her friends being cvnts.

Thanks. I agree that would be the desired response, but I've given it some thought and this deserves a soft next. Though HB9, I still deserve a modicum of respect. An apology was nice, but ghosting for the next three days makes the apology seem insincere, and I won't stand for that after a second date. I can't compromise my principles for a hot chick.

 

[NewToTheGame]

I can't compromise my principles for a hot chick.

Bingo.

If this chick was a HB5-7 would you even have thought about putting up with this sh1t?

21-year old girls are typically very close with their friends. They can be swayed and manipulated very easily based on their friends' opinions and behavior. If her friends are already giving you sh1t in person, I guarantee that it will go on behind your back as well. She is probably already asking their opinions of you and they are likely talking crap. I am saying this a 30-something myself that has dated a ton of younger girls.

And a lot of times it isn't even your fault. Example: 20-something girl starts feeling insecure because she didn't get a text back in x minutes. Whines to her girlfriend. Guy in question reminds girlfriend of some dude that screwed her over. Girlfriend tells other girl that you are a player. This feeds into her insecurity, and now you are in the doghouse because you got busy at work and couldn't text back right away.

Crazy scenario? That exact thing happened to me. And I laughed, and calmed her down through similar situations multiple times. Till I finally got tired of it.

 

[Rubirosa]

As a general rule, if I have not banged her yet (and sometimes even if I have), I do not accept "Come meet me and my girlfriends at the club" type of invitations

Quite frankly, it's the last thing your game needs....

I feel that if a chick is really into you, she will push for a one on one type situation, not......

A noisy, crowded club packed with other dudes

Is she.......

Simply validating herself to her friends by showing them that a guy will show up wherever she wants, whenever she wants......?

Counting on you to be the "gentleman" who reaches for his wallet when the drinks that her thirsty friends ordered arrive at the table.....?

In my opinion, unless, it's a first meeting, clubs are a lousy place for 1st or 2nd date escalation tactics........

Too many distracting variables.....

You want to get her a little buzzed so she loosens up....?

Take her to a lounge.......one on one....

Knock off all this endless texting crap

Keep your conversation minimal at first.........Dont be her "chat buddy" who gets put into her friendzone.........at the end of the day, "flirty" or "sexy" text messaging is simply words.....

You are a man of flesh, not letters showing up on her smartphone

man up dude

 

[Desdinova]

THEN she says, "I'm sorry I forgot that my friend's going away party for work is at Club X tonight. Do you want to meet me there?"

I say sure

NEVER go out with a girl and her friends when she's a new plate. In fact, avoid it even if she's an old plate. Also, NEVER agree to meet up with a girl after she's done hanging out with your friends. She will likely flake due to being emotionally caught up in the moment. Women will cling to what's stimulating them emotionally in their current situation over what could be potentially stimulating in a future situation.

Either of these situations will set you up for a lousy night, just like what you've experienced.

Please help me answer the following:

(1) Lost cause or continue to pursue?

(2) Is she waiting for me to double text (ack! I hate double texting!) or was her apology text a soft blowoff?

(3) Assuming her text wasn't a soft blowoff, how do you go about keeping her friends at bay while you continue to pursue?

Dump this particular subject as if it's history. Your best bet right now is to stimulate her mind with some flirty texting.

And some of you are way too fvcking paranoid about over-texting. As long as you make the content seductive, you don't have to worry about her getting bored.

 

[abe0]

The only thing I do not understand is why did you offer to leave if her friends felt uncomfortable? If they felt uncomfortable ..they not you should leave. I would have tried to isolate your lady from them by taking her with you to another part of the club. IMHO....Abe

 

[SteR]

IMO it sounds like you've played everything perfectly so far... just don't blow it by texting her loads, haha

 

[SAYNO]

The only thing I do not understand is why did you offer to leave if her friends felt uncomfortable? If they felt uncomfortable ..they not you should leave. I would have tried to isolate your lady from them by taking her with you to another part of the club. IMHO....Abe

Also, what i used to do is have my wing run coverage by preoccupying her friends. Run the same game on them that they ran on you, it usually works as a great counter to **** blocking!