Broke up with my GF - what should i do?

[Centaurion]

Quick update; she has spammed me with messages today. I didn't reply, and she wrote that she didn't want to see me to talk it out. That's all fine with me. I'm done with her. I'm moving on.

 

[samspade]

Quick update; she has spammed me with messages today. I didn't reply, and she wrote that she didn't want to see me to talk it out. That's all fine with me. I'm done with her. I'm moving on.

Ha - see? She is trying to save face. Well done, continue ignoring.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Stay strong, brother. It's critically important that you maintain radio silence. She will be desperate to get some kind of response from you, just so she knows you care and that she has power over you. She will probably ramp up the emotionality.

Women respond to only one kind of correction...removal of attention. It is the only language they understand when it comes to a man enforcing his rules. There exists no other instrument of correction/punishment.

 

[cordoncordon]

Thanks for all the advice.

It's true that she has warped my reality; I can't think straight. I joined this forum back in 2001, and have been following the DJ way ever since. I've met a lot of wonderful women and had my share of good and bad times. But this one has me really messed up as I thought this was something "special". We had great chemistry and everything was going good, and this suddenly dropped out of the blue.

I think what I need is closure so I can move on and continue my life, and I can't get closure if I don't talk to her today. I understand what you guys are saying, but this has messed up my head pretty bad. For the last couple of days, I've been laying awake at night analyzing what I did or did not do, and thinking about how I could have done things different. That's no good. Basically I want to meet up with her today and tell her what's on my mind: how she played me, disrespected me and tell her how f*cked up she is. When that is done I will go NC.

This is only going to justify in her mind why she broke up with you. Don't give her the satisfaction.


IF you insist on meeting her. Do the opposite. Act AS IF nothing is wrong. That you don't have a care in the world and the break up was totally fine and that everything is going great.

 

[Centaurion]

Guys, I caved. She sent me a long message where she accused me of different things and where she tried to twist things in order to portray me as the bad guy. I caved in and told her straight up what I thought of her. I basically told her to piss off, how I've played with open cards from the get go while she tried to mess with my mind. None of our mutual friends like her, they know how she really is and have only tolerated her for my sake. I told her that.

This is it. I've blocked her from Facebook, deleted her number and thrown out all her stuff that she left at my place. I'm done with her. The funny part is that I dont feel sad or angry, just relieved that I'm done. I know that I messed up by replying to her, but I needed to tell her my mind and leave everything in the ring. She hasn't replied to my message yet, even if she does, I will not break NC again.

 

[MikeOck]

Guys, I caved.

Congratulations, you fell into her trap. She wins, game over.

 

[AAAgent]

I think what I need is closure so I can move on and continue my life, and I can't get closure if I don't talk to her today. I understand what you guys are saying, but this has messed up my head pretty bad. For the last couple of days, I've been laying awake at night analyzing what I did or did not do, and thinking about how I could have done things different. That's no good. Basically I want to meet up with her today and tell her what's on my mind: how she played me, disrespected me and tell her how f*cked up she is. When that is done I will go NC.

This is what falling back into afc behavior and not maintaining your frame does. You need closure and feel the need to talk to her because you most likely can't handle the pain of cutting it off here. Not sure when your last painful break-up was but i sure as h3ll remember mine and i'm sure the other members do as well that are posting here.

Go NC. The only closure you could have received was her ending it with you and lying. That's all you need to move on. If you go back, you'll be like the rest of the chumps on the forum that ask for advice, get it, and refuse to act on the advice and come back crying say we were right.

Check out a thread by prettyboyAJ who just screwed himself with his fiance by trying to work things out with her and not walking away.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=204498

go NC and re-read the DJ bible. It never hurts to freshen up on the bible.