broke up with cheating g/f

[WoodB]

Back when I flew Chinooks for the Army I learned a valuable lesson that carried over into dealing with women. We used to carry a lot of External Loads (Sling Load). Could be a Patriot Missile pack, Avenger, M-105, etc. Didn't matter how valuable the cargo, if it became an unstable load we jettisoned it. If at any time the load jeopardized the crew or the aircraft we cut sling legs and let it drop. Our lives and ability to bring the aircraft home were more important to the fight.
Its the same with women, and for that matter other people. The second they jeopardize you, your life, your future, you need to jettison them.
In the Chinook world we'd mark the spot of the drop and move on with the mission. Same in life, remember why you did what you did, but press on without the baggage.
KC

Knight's Cross, I really enjoyed your analogy....good one, and VERY true.

 

[ronniel]

Complete silence from me.
She started to write things that refer to me on facebook (without mentioning my name). Depreciating things. I got on her nerves, lol.

Yesterday she implied that she had sex with someone. Lol.
I keep ignoring

 

[CostaDeSol]

Complete silence from me.
She started to write things that refer to me on facebook (without mentioning my name). Depreciating things. I got on her nerves, lol.

Yesterday she implied that she had sex with someone. Lol.
I keep ignoring

This is the part where i would delete and block her.


I know that sounds like YOU would be making a big deal about it, but there is only so much crap that you should put up with. You have to draw the line somewhere.

She already cheated on you, and now you are keeping an eye on her as she rides the c*ck carousel?

 

[ronniel]

@CostaDeSol why should i care who she ****s and if she ****s someone if she's not my g/f?

I don't mind. She used to have sex before meeting me, she will continue to have sex after me.

 

[CostaDeSol]

@CostaDeSol why should i care who she ****s and if she ****s someone if she's not my g/f?

I don't mind. She used to have sex before meeting me, she will continue to have sex after me.

What i was referring to is that being "indifferent" is one thing. Her actions don't bother you, and you continue to do your own thing.


But PAYING ATTENTION to her facebook activity is something else. By paying attention to her online activity it's like you're admitting that she's got you hooked on her actions. She posts something online, and you pay attention to it. You're not directly responding, but you still haven't put her out of sight, and out of mind.


But maybe those were never your intentions, and you want to keep tabs on her and her reaction to your break-up?

I'm not sure, maybe i'm reading too much in to it.

 

[ronniel]

Well, yes. I want to see her actions. This is a learning experience and i post it here. That's all.

 

[Kailex]

Complete silence from me.
She started to write things that refer to me on facebook (without mentioning my name). Depreciating things. I got on her nerves, lol.

Yesterday she implied that she had sex with someone. Lol.
I keep ignoring

Incongruence at its finest.

You're not ignoring her if you are monitoring her Facebook activity. It doesn't work that way. And don't use this thread as an excuse to veil why you are doing so.

Stop wasting time and effort on keeping tabs. You should have better things/women to do with your time.

 

[origin138]

To really nuke her hamster, you should just have gone ghost. No explanation, just disappear. But that's pretty hardcore.

This is exactly what I was thinking, and exactly what I would have done. This kind of behavior deserves no quarter. Glad to hear you're blowing her off and moving toward indifference. That's the best treatment for liars.

 

[ronniel]

Guys, thanks for your insights. I think this is a great thread. I don't want to brag about being alpha etc. This is the way i handled things. Period.

I don't miss her and this is the most important thing. Even if the relationship was short, i still had my life and my interests etc and i still have them. I went for a second date with a very interesting girl. Didn't **** her yet. I will probably this weekend.

I will keep you posted if the cheater rears her head.

 

[BeDJ]

Your ex-GF is broken beyond repair.

Going No Contact will make her crave your attention, even if it is self destructive behavior, rebounding, etc...her hamster will justify them. It will even justify that cheating on you was right. She will never be the same person after those experiences.

I believe most women go through these phases and become jaded towards men. But hey! Grrrrrl power! A chick can say she is tired of dating jerks and assho|es, but the moment a man says I'm tired of dating b!tches and cvnts, watch the world turn against him.

In the end, a woman cheating on her man is more forgivable than vice versa by society's standard today. Men have to hold up their end of the bargain regardless of how s|utty his significant other is.

 

[ronniel]

@BegginingDJ

I don't think that i'm the first one she cheated upon. Once a cheater, always a cheater they say.

She wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She wanted to have a man by her side and still having a free pass to play the field.

 

[BeDJ]

An alternative view:

You can not assume that, what if you were the first person she cheated on. It's much easier to convince yourself she was a vvhore than to look at the possibilities why she would cheat. She put herself in a position to cheat, you have to understand why. From experience, it's the most brutal thing you can do to yourself, but it will create a better you.

 

[ronniel]

@BeginningDJ: I know what you mean. Yes, attraction declined. Maybe she thought that i was the sure thing, the "bf".

update: she just liked a post of mine on facebook that had nothing to do with her whatsoever.

 

[typical]

Who cares why she cheated on you. SHE FU(KEN CHEATED !!!! ENOUGH SAID.

If you're a smart educated guy with a decent job a decent body and some chick does not realize that you're a winner it's HER LOSS. You go ghost, it's the most powerful tool you can use.

You can not reason or explain things logically to a women they are not wired that way, they will always justify their actions to make themselves feel better and pain you as the bad guy. This will happen no matter what you say, so give them nothing and go cold.

 

[BeDJ]

Disagree completely. Cheating and covering it up does not deserve the same analysis that simply being dumped does. She is a ho, period. You can't make a ho a housewife.

A women will cheat if she thinks her value is higher than the OP's. Did she get into a relationship knowing her value was higher? Probably not. That's why the OP should reflect on himself through the relationship.

It can be that she's a ho, it's much easier to accept and move on. However, looking at yourself in the mirror and improving your flaws are tougher to deal with.

 

[samspade]

This isn't a normal girl that branch swung. This is a girl that likes cheating but also wants to be in a relationship with OP. A ho. Depedestalize women, they are not some cosmic barometer of the worth of a man .

I'd say you and BeginningDJ are both right. She's a ho, but a man can always determine where and how he lost his frame IF that's what happened. If it's simply that she was compelled to cheat regardless, then select better women in the future. Either way, learn and improve.

 

[Boilermaker]

I agree with Kailex, and the rest.

"Saying" you don't care doesn't make you not care. A clear acid test would be to cut complete contact and ask the OP whether that changes his mood.

A positive answer would mean he still cares.

 

[Boilermaker]

You do care.

If you're beta, it hurts your feelings. If you're alpha, it hurts your pride.

PPRF , good observation. Alpha doesn't necessarily mean narcissistic but it's a common confusion in the field.

 

[BeDJ]

This isn't a normal girl that branch swung. This is a girl that likes cheating but also wants to be in a relationship with OP. A ho. Depedestalize women, they are not some cosmic barometer of the worth of a man .

I missed the post that the OP has only been exclusive with this woman only 3 and a half months. It should be the honeymoon stage for her.

Unless the OP gives some insight on the situation our arguments are both valid, I feel like a d!ck for doing this...but for science!

1) She is a ho and wants a relationship for temporarily stable intimacy.
2) OP got comfortable and she found a crack in his armor.

Either way, self reflection will help the OP to improve his game and/or screen better.

Edit: Just read samspade's post.

 

[ronniel]

Ok, i will give more insight.
1.The man she cheated with is an old flame of hers. This is what i gathered from the email exchange.
2. I lost the frame once, i think. She was tired for some days and she didn't want sex. I appeared frustrated, momentarily.

Anymore questions, i'm ready to answer. shoot