broke up a year ago

[kingwilliam]

I was with a girl for 4 years. We broke up about a year ago because basically we just weren't getting along anymore.

Over the past 6 months, we were hanging out quite a bit (mostly for sex), but she was constantly telling me she love me more than anything....all she wanted was to get married and have kids with me..........she would do anything for me, blah, blah, blah.

At the time I simply didn't "feel" it. I told her that I needed more time to get my own ducks in a row before I jumped back into a major relationship. We love each other......probably because we have been around each other so much. She's incredibly beautiful, has a wonderful personality, and a FANTASTIC sexual partner. She is a talented biiitch, however.

Recently she gave up on me and has started seeing someone.


ha ha ha ha why the hell is this bothering me so bad?? I feel like a ****ing douchebag. A month ago I was telling her that it wasn't going to happen and now I feel like I need to get her back......... and something tells me if I did get her back I would immediately fall back into the same mode I was a month ago....not all that interested.

Women: can't live withem, can't suck your own ****





Before someone tells me I am a ****ing moron, let it be known that I am more or less just venting about my own stupidity and the fact that I am allowing myself to relapse into AFCism. It just sucks that right now I am having emotional feelings as if I just got dumped!!!!!!!!!


Am I destined to forever want what I CANT get, and not want what I CAN?????

 

[frivolousz21]

your not a moron.

this is natural.


now you have to move on..cut her out of your life 100 percent..and start self improvement and focus on yourself!

good luck man

 

[kingwilliam]

Thanks. I know that you're exactly right. I knew the answer as I typed the post. The funny thing is that over the last year since we broke up, I thought I had moved on......I have been spinnin plates like a ****ing pro.....

Something about this one particular girl that has always managed to hit me in a weak spot.

100% no contact is the key......

The thing is, she will send me text messages all the time. I guess I need to tell her to cease contact, its for the better.

 

[frivolousz21]

yea man....no contact is the way to go.

my X and I...whom I have a child with split 3 months ago.

we havent spoken since....now I cant say I am completely moved on..I dont know...I dont want her or want to be with her..so that helps...

I was forced into not talking to her because of the child situation...its absolutely amazing how fast you can change and let things go when there is NO OTHER OPTIONS.


you must create this environment for yourself.

 

[guru1000]

Recently she gave up on me and has started seeing someone.


ha ha ha ha why the hell is this bothering me so bad?? I feel like a ****ing douchebag. A month ago I was telling her that it wasn't going to happen and now I feel like I need to get her back......... and something tells me if I did get her back I would immediately fall back into the same mode I was a month ago....not all that interested.
Am I destined to forever want what I CANT get, and not want what I CAN?????

What you are feeling is the classic case of WITHDRAWAL.

It is not her that you want. Otherwise, you would have jumped on the bandwagon the first opportunity you had.

What you miss are the feelings of APPRECIATION and VALIDATION that she provided for you. Now that she is with someone else , she cannot provide those UPLIFTING contributions.

Now you need time to evolve into a self-validating MAN. You need to find confidence and security from within and not seek validation from outside sources. Take this time to GROW and be comfortable with your world and not NEED another.

Appreciating vs Needing is the difference.

The woman should be a SUPPLEMENT rather than the CENTER in your life. This is the goal.

We have all been there. Good luck.

 

[jophil28]

At the time I simply didn't "feel" it. I told her that I needed more time to get my own ducks in a row before I jumped back into a major relationship. We love each other......probably because we have been around each other so much. She's incredibly beautiful, has a wonderful personality, and a FANTASTIC sexual partner. She is a talented biiitch, however.

You sound like a whiney women - I am not insulting you for the sake of it, however your post says that she is great for you but you are just not "feeling " it like you used to.
This how immature women think - they break up with a guy for no legitimate reason other that their "feelings" have subsided.
You "feelings" are not what are important in the long haul - her actions,. her behavior and the way she conducts herself in your relationship are what count.

BTW - what doese "talented biitch" mean ?

 

[kingwilliam]

it means she was talented at being a *****

 

[Andromax]

Dude,

You're not a moron.

We have all been exactly where you are. You are right, you would get sick of her again quickly if you got her back.

It's good that you aren't acting on these emotions in an attempt to reclaim her.

Now, this will be more motivation for you to find someone you are better off with (whom you can appreciate better) now that the teet has been pulled out of your mouth so to speak.

Now go bang some hotties.

 

[Latinoman]

Feelings..."feelings" of love when choosing a wife or life-long-partern is a HUGE mistake. Love is not a "feeling". Love is a KNOWLEDGE.

Do NOT marry or choose a life-long-partner with your heart. Choose her with your mind.

 

[BipedGod]

Dude, your understood at least by most of us. No, you won't have these feelings for long, but a beautiful woman who emotionally provided so much to you is tough to let go, you have to remember that was then and this is now, it had it's time, say thanks...then good bye.

 

[romangod]

The same thing happened to me after a 3 year relationship. I wanted it to end but when she moved on to a new guy I went into a spin and did some stupid AFC things to win her back. I was an idiot.

Looking back on it i realize it was an EGO thing and it was more about me than about her.


Look at it as a time of self-discovery and get to know yourself better. Good luck.