Body language?

[Magnatolia]

Hey all,

I'm working on my body language to show more confidence. Like not having my body symmetrical by having one foot at a different angle as this shows 'vulnerability' and leaving my hands at my side and not fidgeting.

I'm curious. What about when you don't have space to spread out. Say on a packed train, is there anything you can do to appear confident?

 

[LoneSilver]

Keep your chin up like your looking over peoples shoulders will do the trick but in that situation remember even Dirty Harry Clint Eastwood would have a problem as well and don't look down unless you feel you've stepped on someones foot then say sorry about that I have big feet which shows your confident as well as respectful

Hope this helps

LoneSilver

I'm curious. What about when you don't have space to spread out. Say on a packed train, is there anything you can do to appear confident?

 

[r0cky]

No need to take up a lot of space in packed trains. You'll only be seen as an inconsiderate ass. In a place like this, is not necessary to appear alpha, just get in and get out. Always keep yur chin up and your back straight.

 

[Prod]

Lately I'm trying to perform less and less gestures with my hands while speaking. Might be good.

 

[PigAdlemPimp]

Body language is of extreme importance if you desire to allure and fvck the hottest babes.

My advice on this matter is (1) stand up straight (2) look strong in your facial expressions (3) speak in a deep voice (4) always look into the girls eyes.

You can't look like a wimp or a weak guy if you want to seduce the hottest babes, always look strong and you will succeed.

 

[Groovy]

No need to appear confident all times man!

The alpha male doesn't have to look like the biggest badass you can imagine... That's gonna scare off people! And then how can he have a group to follow him? It doesn't make sence! :crazy:

And if you worrie about your body language... You're not alpha... So stop caring!

If you didn't care you're would be more relaxed - that's what you should be aiming for!

In a group, the AMOG doens't have to show supreme confidence, but he shows always one thing - he's always relaxed and laid back.

If you are having a hard time imagining, consider this: People don't really steal the joy easily to someone who is really relaxed, so that shows one thing about relaxed people- they aren't intimidated. Isn't that better then some chump trying to fake confidence? "I have to try hard so I can be more alpha so I can get chicks!".

Prod, if I picture a guy who talks and doesn't gesture, that seems boring to me. Energetic guys tend to move more their arms, and that also keeps the other folks interrested. So be energetic- move your arms! Don't be a bore. Emotions are contagious! (Are yours worth catching?)

The point is not in faking something to get chicks, it's to feel good about yourself internally. And if you don't worrie about how you're looking, you just took a step ahead!

 

[Prod]

Prod, if I picture a guy who talks and doesn't gesture, that seems boring to me. Energetic guys tend to move more their arms, and that also keeps the other folks interrested. So be energetic- move your arms! Don't be a bore. Emotions are contagious! (Are yours worth catching?)

I meant doing it less. I'm an immigrant and English is my second language, so I tend to over rely on gestures to get my words across. It comes back to what you mentioned ( correctly) about appearing relaxed. I also do public speaking quite often as part of what I'm studying and have been told I could tone down my gestures, picking and choosing more when to use them and how.

So yeah, I'm not overanalysing, I actually need to improve my posture/public speaking abilities in for RL. What I tend to do is use my hands to convey a relaxed, confident state; ie, putting one hand in my pocket, holding a my notes (when speaking publicly) or generally using kino when I want to cut down on my gesturing.

 

[Magnatolia]

Thanks for the replies.

Groovy, that was a great post but I disagree on one point. Not worrying about your body language, etc isn't a good idea. You see, if someone hasn't always been confident (AFC for example) then they will most likely have learnt 'negative' body language. By relaxing, there is associated body language that needs to be learnt.

Sure I agree that if you keep thinking about your body language during an interaction is bad, however learning appropriate body language to the point where it becomes second nature is not.

I've been reading up about body language and gathered the basics such as taking up more space when sitting, non-symmetrical body language (sounds more complicated than it is), open body language (no crossed arms, legs, or holding a drink across your chest). And I've integrated these naturally.

 

[SinJester]

Groovy is the guy who knows what he is talking about in this thread. Magnatolia does have some good points. You want to seem confident and relaxed, not alpha and intimidating.

Analysing body language is good to get rid of bad habits you may have. That's it. It is very bad to think about body language during in the interaction, however of course this is exactly what you have to do in order to improve it. It's basically the same with every skill you will find here.

What people forget to mention is that you can't completely fake body language. If you are feeling relaxed you will naturally have a relaxed posture. If you are feeling confident then you will look confident. Otherwise it will probably come accross as fake or it will seem as if you are overdoing it. However like I said most people start with bad habits they need to unlearn. Just try and keep a congruent state why you are doing all this.

I don't agree with people that say don't make arm gestures. I'm practising doing exactly that. If you aren't doing it kino will seem awkward. Look at the guys from pickup 101 gesturing and using kino. You can't stand there all cool then suddenly reach out and grab her. It's not natural. I think a lot of you guys are going to seem cool but boring. I would rather be fun and unbeat, in a almost relaxed way, then just being motionless all the time.

There is a bit of contadicting information on body langauge. People say sit up straight. Some people say lean back. I agree with the second one, it shows that you are relaxed. Just recently I was realizing if I do this 'I normally lean forward' hot girls will lean into me. If they don't hear me I don't lean forward, I talk louder. The cool guys lean back, not sit up straight.

I haven't heard of non-symetrical body language before. I don't pretend to be an expert on body language but this is all my 2 cents. From my point of view body language is very important, but state is more important.

In the end I think there are couple different styles of body language that work. I guess we have to go with what works for us.