This is one of those things where I agree with you and my own basic premise, but I have not acted accordingly. I think the main reason is that we really haven't talked about what I am pissed off about and NC is the only way for me to transmit that unhappiness. Part of it is me enjoying her spinning on the hamster wheel, but if she wonders what's wrong, no part of her three attempts were asking me what it wrong. She commented through a mutual friend that she was pissed off that I didn't answer her last FB message, but that is it. I feel like if I talk to her then she will think all is fine with me and I'm still on her back burner. The struggle has been for me to find a way to tell her that I'm not there for her anymore, without having to actually TELL her that. To me, when I imagine that conversation, it is fraught with peril to my sense of self. She'll turn it around on me, make me the bad guy, and I'll be begging her to be back in her life and back on the back burner. Frankly NC is the only way I know to go - but it keeps me dedicated to it. 121 days and counting.