Just found this site not too long ago, read a bunch of threads and found some approach journals. Seemed like a good idea so I'm starting one. I'd like to get good at approaching. Ultimately, my goal is to be so good at this stuff that I'll be able to f close effortlessly the same night I meet someone. Not that I'm in this for sex, but I figure I'll shoot high. What have I got to lose?
Blanks Approach Journal
- Thread starter Blank
- Start date
Approach 1
I went to taco bell with 4 of my friends earlier tonight. When I walked up to the counter, one of my friends had just ordered his food. He nodded over to a table with two girls sitting at it. One was Indian, about a 6. The other was a white girl, easily a 7.
I get my food and start walking towards our table, debating in my head whether or not I should open these two girls. At the last minute I decide to go for it.
Me: Hey, thanks for saving me a seat, sorry traffic was crazy.
They both look at each other, then me with weird smiles on their faces.
Me: So let me ask you something, if you had to choose between being able to fly or turn invisible, which would you pick?
HB7: Ummm....I don't know.
Me: If you had to pick, which one?
HB7: Probably flying?
Me: How bout you (to the other girl)
HB6: Probably invisibility.
Me: Interesting...
HB7: Why?
I go into how its a personality test. People who choose flying are more outgoing and take risks, people who choose invisibility tend to be shy. I heard this on the radio one morning on my way to work and wanted to try it out. After, I introduce myself and shake both of their hands.
Turns out it didn't hook very well. The HB7, who I was sitting next to, didn't orient her body language towards me at all, she was kind of turned away, the same position she was in when I first sat down. So i ejected with something like "well, I'm gonna get back to my friends, it was nice meeting you both"
Looking back, I may have been able to salvage the set by launching into a palm read after shaking the HB7s hand or maybe popped a cold read or plowed into a story. I also didn't use a false time constraint upon opening. The negative body language really tripped me out.
Obviously I have work to do still. Most likely going out again tomorrow. Until next time...
Blank
I went to taco bell with 4 of my friends earlier tonight. When I walked up to the counter, one of my friends had just ordered his food. He nodded over to a table with two girls sitting at it. One was Indian, about a 6. The other was a white girl, easily a 7.
I get my food and start walking towards our table, debating in my head whether or not I should open these two girls. At the last minute I decide to go for it.
Me: Hey, thanks for saving me a seat, sorry traffic was crazy.
They both look at each other, then me with weird smiles on their faces.
Me: So let me ask you something, if you had to choose between being able to fly or turn invisible, which would you pick?
HB7: Ummm....I don't know.
Me: If you had to pick, which one?
HB7: Probably flying?
Me: How bout you (to the other girl)
HB6: Probably invisibility.
Me: Interesting...
HB7: Why?
I go into how its a personality test. People who choose flying are more outgoing and take risks, people who choose invisibility tend to be shy. I heard this on the radio one morning on my way to work and wanted to try it out. After, I introduce myself and shake both of their hands.
Turns out it didn't hook very well. The HB7, who I was sitting next to, didn't orient her body language towards me at all, she was kind of turned away, the same position she was in when I first sat down. So i ejected with something like "well, I'm gonna get back to my friends, it was nice meeting you both"
Looking back, I may have been able to salvage the set by launching into a palm read after shaking the HB7s hand or maybe popped a cold read or plowed into a story. I also didn't use a false time constraint upon opening. The negative body language really tripped me out.
Obviously I have work to do still. Most likely going out again tomorrow. Until next time...
Blank
Phat rabbit
Definitely great advice, thanks a lot for your input. I like the idea of mirroring their body language. They call it pacing and leading in NLP. Eventually, after mirroring them a bit (pacing) you can orient your body language however you want and they follow. I should definitely be aware of this and this and apply it to my approaches.
Talking over your shoulder to run a set is also a great idea, pretty sure that's some of mysteries old stuff. I will try and do this in the future, along with designing my approaches to amuse myself.
You seem like you know what you're talking about, I hope you keep an eye on my thread, would love to have your 2 cents on future approaches.
Definitely great advice, thanks a lot for your input. I like the idea of mirroring their body language. They call it pacing and leading in NLP. Eventually, after mirroring them a bit (pacing) you can orient your body language however you want and they follow. I should definitely be aware of this and this and apply it to my approaches.
Talking over your shoulder to run a set is also a great idea, pretty sure that's some of mysteries old stuff. I will try and do this in the future, along with designing my approaches to amuse myself.
You seem like you know what you're talking about, I hope you keep an eye on my thread, would love to have your 2 cents on future approaches.
Approach 2
I was on my way to school today when I pulled up to a wawa to grab some food. (Wawa is a convenience store in some of the northeastern US states)
I made eye contact with an HB8 who was in the check out line as I was walking in. I smiled, she smiled back.
Mind you, I'm lookin pretty sharp tonight. I'm wearing nice clothes and used some gel in my hair because I was on my way to give a speech in my public speaking class.
When I went outside, she was standing just outside the door, texting someone. I'm guessing she was waiting for a friend who was still inside because I remembered her talking to someone. Go time.
Me: Hey
HB8: Hey
Me: So I'm about to go to class but I'd be kickin myself for the rest of the night if I didn't ask for your phone number.
HB8: hahaha that's cute
Me: (I laughed a little while she was laughing) I promise I'm not a weirdo or anything. *I pull out my phone*
HB8: (with a big cheesy smile) 215 blah blah blah
Bang, just like that. She didn't even get my name but she gave me her phone number. This blew my mind, the whole time in class I was trying to digest this. I still have her in my phone as "girl from wawa"
Some details: I was feeling really confident because I knew I was dressed nice. I'm also not entirely new with this stuff, I'm pretty good at using vocal tonality and body language to my advantage after reading a few books and practicing. I've never used this to open before, however. I got it from a book called the 4 hour work week by Tim Ferris. David D did an interview with him, everyone of you should buy his book.
One more thing, I already knew she was single. Do you guys know what Claddagh rings are? A lot of Irish girls wear them. If shes single, the heart is facing outward, if shes taken, its facing inward. I always look for these rings now, they're so convenient.
Looking back, I definitely should have at least gotten her name. If I had had more time I definitely would have gotten some small talk in but I was on my way to class. Glad I made it on time too because I was the first speaker.
More to come.
Blank
I was on my way to school today when I pulled up to a wawa to grab some food. (Wawa is a convenience store in some of the northeastern US states)
I made eye contact with an HB8 who was in the check out line as I was walking in. I smiled, she smiled back.
Mind you, I'm lookin pretty sharp tonight. I'm wearing nice clothes and used some gel in my hair because I was on my way to give a speech in my public speaking class.
When I went outside, she was standing just outside the door, texting someone. I'm guessing she was waiting for a friend who was still inside because I remembered her talking to someone. Go time.
Me: Hey
HB8: Hey
Me: So I'm about to go to class but I'd be kickin myself for the rest of the night if I didn't ask for your phone number.
HB8: hahaha that's cute
Me: (I laughed a little while she was laughing) I promise I'm not a weirdo or anything. *I pull out my phone*
HB8: (with a big cheesy smile) 215 blah blah blah
Bang, just like that. She didn't even get my name but she gave me her phone number. This blew my mind, the whole time in class I was trying to digest this. I still have her in my phone as "girl from wawa"
Some details: I was feeling really confident because I knew I was dressed nice. I'm also not entirely new with this stuff, I'm pretty good at using vocal tonality and body language to my advantage after reading a few books and practicing. I've never used this to open before, however. I got it from a book called the 4 hour work week by Tim Ferris. David D did an interview with him, everyone of you should buy his book.
One more thing, I already knew she was single. Do you guys know what Claddagh rings are? A lot of Irish girls wear them. If shes single, the heart is facing outward, if shes taken, its facing inward. I always look for these rings now, they're so convenient.
Looking back, I definitely should have at least gotten her name. If I had had more time I definitely would have gotten some small talk in but I was on my way to class. Glad I made it on time too because I was the first speaker.
More to come.
Blank
Solomon
Master Don Juan
Hey Blanks
I remember when I first started, I read this guy's Journal named Snowplowman. At first I didn't care for it cause the guy would always write about how he felt and how he talked to girls thorugh sub-communcation(kino, makeouts, facial framing). I wanted dialgoue, boom once I hit the field, stuff like body langauge, state, frame, attidude all become important, and I started to read his stuff like crack cause his game was similar to mine(except his is 10X better!)it didn't matter what I said as long as I could express/convey my personality to the girl, that's all that mattered
Knowing how to calibrate your body language is great(phat already covered most, big ups), so props that you are looking for that, remember it's not what you say but through the frame(being) that you say it from. Confidence radiates thorugh your body langauge, hence when you felt like Money the girl picked up on it, this has happend to me as well a couple times, its a lovely thing...
Keep up the approaches
peace
I remember when I first started, I read this guy's Journal named Snowplowman. At first I didn't care for it cause the guy would always write about how he felt and how he talked to girls thorugh sub-communcation(kino, makeouts, facial framing). I wanted dialgoue, boom once I hit the field, stuff like body langauge, state, frame, attidude all become important, and I started to read his stuff like crack cause his game was similar to mine(except his is 10X better!)it didn't matter what I said as long as I could express/convey my personality to the girl, that's all that mattered
Knowing how to calibrate your body language is great(phat already covered most, big ups), so props that you are looking for that, remember it's not what you say but through the frame(being) that you say it from. Confidence radiates thorugh your body langauge, hence when you felt like Money the girl picked up on it, this has happend to me as well a couple times, its a lovely thing...
Keep up the approaches
peace
Hikapo
Don Juan
Hey Blanks, I like your openings. It seemed so natural for you to pull that off. Good job man. Keep it up.:rockon:
Thanks for the encouragement guys.
Solomon, I'll definitely check out Snowplowman's journal if it's still on the site. Sounds like it has a lot of useful info.
I think if dressing nice gives me confidence and people can pick up on it, I should always dress that way when I go out.
Definitely food for thought right here, thanks again.
Solomon, I'll definitely check out Snowplowman's journal if it's still on the site. Sounds like it has a lot of useful info.
I think if dressing nice gives me confidence and people can pick up on it, I should always dress that way when I go out.
Definitely food for thought right here, thanks again.
Approach 3
Stopped at a bar tonight with a bunch of people from work. By a bunch, I mean at least a dozen. Rarely do I go out with such a big crowd but it's always fun when I do.
I was talking to a couple of the guys from work that I'm tight with. We were talking about girls (naturally) when one of them pointed out a table of three girls. One 6, two 7s. I asked how they felt about approaching, they seemed reluctant but down for it. I went to the bathroom first, then lead them over to the table. I sat in the only available seat, they grabbed chairs from nearby tables.
Me: Hey guys (I introduce myself)
HB7Blonde: Oh, hey. (We all shake hands)
Immediately I notice they are a little older than us. My friends are both 21 and I'm 22. They look to be in their mid to late 20s.
The 6 engages us right away.
HB6: What are you guys, some kind of dynamic trio?
We chat a bit about what the 6 said. One of them asks what we do, we talk to them about work for a bit. Turns out they all work at a hospital, so do we. Nice. I pop cold reads on all of them about what I thought they would be professionally.
Me: You guys are nurses? I definitely would not of guessed that. (to the blond 7) You look like you'd be in management, like that boss that everyones afraid of. (to the 6) I think you'd be doing something behind a keyboard, maybe accounting?. (to the brunette 7) You look like a waitress. I used to wait tables at a diner and that's what you strike me as.
For some reason they found this hilarious. I don't get what it is about cold reading that girls love but I swear it's like crack to them.
We talk a bit about how old they actually are. My suspicions were correct. 26, 27 and 29.
Me: Oh hey, did you guys see the fight?
Everyone, including my friends: Huh?! What?! No, what happened?!
From here I ran an old mystery bit about 2 girls fighting over a guy and someones boob popping out of their shirt. My friends were so confused, we laughed a lot about this later. The story hooked really well, definitely using it again.
Me: So how come you guys are all huddled at this table and not mingling with the crowd? Are you antisocial?
HB6: No, we're all married.
They all hold up their left hands to reveal wedding rings.
Sh*t.
It was too dark to see if they had rings on when we first went up.
We chat a bit more about being married and relationships before ejecting.
Me: Well it was really nice meeting you guys. We're gonna get back to our friends.
HB6: Yeah it was nice meeting you too. You have a great personality!
Me: Haha thanks.
No closing here obviously. I still feel like it was a valuable interaction and definitely a lot of fun. Good practice for sure.
When we got back to our friends they hit us with what seemed like 100 questions. Apparently they were all watching the entire time. Massive social proof, I wound up getting one girl from work's number right before I left. Not really considering that an accomplishment since I've known her for a while. Don't know if I'll actually call her. She's cute (at least an 8) but she's got a kid. Don't want any baby daddy drama.
Not going out again until Friday. I'll definitely have another field report. I'm actually hoping for some rejections because I feel like I'll learn more from them.
We'll see.
Blank
Stopped at a bar tonight with a bunch of people from work. By a bunch, I mean at least a dozen. Rarely do I go out with such a big crowd but it's always fun when I do.
I was talking to a couple of the guys from work that I'm tight with. We were talking about girls (naturally) when one of them pointed out a table of three girls. One 6, two 7s. I asked how they felt about approaching, they seemed reluctant but down for it. I went to the bathroom first, then lead them over to the table. I sat in the only available seat, they grabbed chairs from nearby tables.
Me: Hey guys (I introduce myself)
HB7Blonde: Oh, hey. (We all shake hands)
Immediately I notice they are a little older than us. My friends are both 21 and I'm 22. They look to be in their mid to late 20s.
The 6 engages us right away.
HB6: What are you guys, some kind of dynamic trio?
We chat a bit about what the 6 said. One of them asks what we do, we talk to them about work for a bit. Turns out they all work at a hospital, so do we. Nice. I pop cold reads on all of them about what I thought they would be professionally.
Me: You guys are nurses? I definitely would not of guessed that. (to the blond 7) You look like you'd be in management, like that boss that everyones afraid of. (to the 6) I think you'd be doing something behind a keyboard, maybe accounting?. (to the brunette 7) You look like a waitress. I used to wait tables at a diner and that's what you strike me as.
For some reason they found this hilarious. I don't get what it is about cold reading that girls love but I swear it's like crack to them.
We talk a bit about how old they actually are. My suspicions were correct. 26, 27 and 29.
Me: Oh hey, did you guys see the fight?
Everyone, including my friends: Huh?! What?! No, what happened?!
From here I ran an old mystery bit about 2 girls fighting over a guy and someones boob popping out of their shirt. My friends were so confused, we laughed a lot about this later. The story hooked really well, definitely using it again.
Me: So how come you guys are all huddled at this table and not mingling with the crowd? Are you antisocial?
HB6: No, we're all married.
They all hold up their left hands to reveal wedding rings.
Sh*t.
It was too dark to see if they had rings on when we first went up.
We chat a bit more about being married and relationships before ejecting.
Me: Well it was really nice meeting you guys. We're gonna get back to our friends.
HB6: Yeah it was nice meeting you too. You have a great personality!
Me: Haha thanks.
No closing here obviously. I still feel like it was a valuable interaction and definitely a lot of fun. Good practice for sure.
When we got back to our friends they hit us with what seemed like 100 questions. Apparently they were all watching the entire time. Massive social proof, I wound up getting one girl from work's number right before I left. Not really considering that an accomplishment since I've known her for a while. Don't know if I'll actually call her. She's cute (at least an 8) but she's got a kid. Don't want any baby daddy drama.
Not going out again until Friday. I'll definitely have another field report. I'm actually hoping for some rejections because I feel like I'll learn more from them.
We'll see.
Blank
Approach 4...sort of
I hit the bars with a buddy earlier tonight. It' supposed to be the "Biggest drinking night of the year" and indeed the bars were packed. We started out at an old head bar...shuffle board, darts, the whole 9. Only it was mobbed and loud like every other bar (usually it's quiet with a small crowd, great place to start out on the weekends). We stay for a drink and bounce.
We end up at our favorite bar. For some reason this place is always packed and there's always tons of girls. We post up at the bar.
I find that getting a spot at the bar is usually the best spot to hang around at, besides maybe a dance floor. Everyone comes through to get drinks, bumps into you, etc. Plenty of opportunities to open so you can either pick your sets carefully or open them all, whatever you want.
I'm watching the t.v. and it says that Allen Iverson retired. The 76ers are a big deal in my area and he was one of their star players for a while. I ask my friend how old he was, my friend doesn't know and says "Maybe she knows" pointing to a girl trying to squeeze by to get a drink. I open...
Me: Oh, Hey.
HB6: Hey.
Me: Did you know Allen Iverson retired?
HB6: What? He retired?
Me: Yeah it just said so on the t.v.
HB6: Wow that's crazy.
Me: Yeah I know, he's still pretty young. How old is he?
HB6: I don't know, I think he is pretty young though.
Me: Yeah, surprising.
I take the convo no where after realizing it was probably stupid to talk to a girl about sports like that. Was nice to warm up though and make some small talk.
After making some small talk with several people, later I open a 2 set right behind me and my friend.
Me: Are you guys trying to get drinks?
HB7: Yeah
I call the bartender over, he responds and gets their order.
HB7: Hey, thanks!
*She squeezes my arm*
Me: It's cool, we're closer.
HB7: haha, yup.
*She rubs my shoulder*
Me: So you're cute, what's your name?
HB7 tells me her name and holds out her hand. I tell her my name.
Me: Nice to meet you
I glance at my wing, he's talking to her friend. Nice.
Before I get the chance to say anything else, she reengages.
HB7: Where are you from?
Me: I tell her what neighborhood I live in and what high school I'm near.
HB7: Oh, where did you go to high school?
Me: I went to a creative and performing arts school downtown.
HB7: OMG REALLY? What did you do there?
Me: I play drums.
HB7: Wow I play drums too! For (names some school or something)
Me: Haha really? Wow, are you good?
HB7: I'm gettin there.
Me: How long have you been playing for?
HB7: About 5 years.
At this point, their drinks are up. Her friend pays and tips the bartender.
Me: We're leaving soon but before I go, give me your number. It's so weird to meet a girl that plays drums.
HB7: *Big smile* Okay
I pull out my phone.
HB7: It's (gives me her number, 2 digits at a time.....a little weird.)
Me: Ok, cool.
HB7: And that's (her name) the drummer.
Me: Hahaha ok. I just called you so you should have my number too.
She pulls out her phone.
Me: Did it go through?
HB7: Yup *Big smile*
Me: Ok, see ya.
B7: Bye
They walk off.
I wish every approach was that easy. Clearly she had some alcohol in her, she kino'd the hell out of me right off the bat.
I think it was style that said pick up is a process: you open, hook, touch and create a connection, but you don't always have to start from the beginning. If she starts somewhere else in the process, take it from there. That's exactly what I did. She started with kino so I went right into vibing, skipped the opener and hook material.
Granted, I don't feel like this was a very solid number close. The interaction lasted less then 5 minutes, I'm not even sure if she remembers my name. I'll try giving her a call Sunday or Monday just for the hell of it. Why not?
Definitely a good night, had a lot of fun.
Anyways, off for some sleep, turkey day tomorrow and I have work all day.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Blank
I hit the bars with a buddy earlier tonight. It' supposed to be the "Biggest drinking night of the year" and indeed the bars were packed. We started out at an old head bar...shuffle board, darts, the whole 9. Only it was mobbed and loud like every other bar (usually it's quiet with a small crowd, great place to start out on the weekends). We stay for a drink and bounce.
We end up at our favorite bar. For some reason this place is always packed and there's always tons of girls. We post up at the bar.
I find that getting a spot at the bar is usually the best spot to hang around at, besides maybe a dance floor. Everyone comes through to get drinks, bumps into you, etc. Plenty of opportunities to open so you can either pick your sets carefully or open them all, whatever you want.
I'm watching the t.v. and it says that Allen Iverson retired. The 76ers are a big deal in my area and he was one of their star players for a while. I ask my friend how old he was, my friend doesn't know and says "Maybe she knows" pointing to a girl trying to squeeze by to get a drink. I open...
Me: Oh, Hey.
HB6: Hey.
Me: Did you know Allen Iverson retired?
HB6: What? He retired?
Me: Yeah it just said so on the t.v.
HB6: Wow that's crazy.
Me: Yeah I know, he's still pretty young. How old is he?
HB6: I don't know, I think he is pretty young though.
Me: Yeah, surprising.
I take the convo no where after realizing it was probably stupid to talk to a girl about sports like that. Was nice to warm up though and make some small talk.
After making some small talk with several people, later I open a 2 set right behind me and my friend.
Me: Are you guys trying to get drinks?
HB7: Yeah
I call the bartender over, he responds and gets their order.
HB7: Hey, thanks!
*She squeezes my arm*
Me: It's cool, we're closer.
HB7: haha, yup.
*She rubs my shoulder*
Me: So you're cute, what's your name?
HB7 tells me her name and holds out her hand. I tell her my name.
Me: Nice to meet you
I glance at my wing, he's talking to her friend. Nice.
Before I get the chance to say anything else, she reengages.
HB7: Where are you from?
Me: I tell her what neighborhood I live in and what high school I'm near.
HB7: Oh, where did you go to high school?
Me: I went to a creative and performing arts school downtown.
HB7: OMG REALLY? What did you do there?
Me: I play drums.
HB7: Wow I play drums too! For (names some school or something)
Me: Haha really? Wow, are you good?
HB7: I'm gettin there.
Me: How long have you been playing for?
HB7: About 5 years.
At this point, their drinks are up. Her friend pays and tips the bartender.
Me: We're leaving soon but before I go, give me your number. It's so weird to meet a girl that plays drums.
HB7: *Big smile* Okay
I pull out my phone.
HB7: It's (gives me her number, 2 digits at a time.....a little weird.)
Me: Ok, cool.
HB7: And that's (her name) the drummer.
Me: Hahaha ok. I just called you so you should have my number too.
She pulls out her phone.
Me: Did it go through?
HB7: Yup *Big smile*
Me: Ok, see ya.
B7: Bye
They walk off.
I wish every approach was that easy. Clearly she had some alcohol in her, she kino'd the hell out of me right off the bat.
I think it was style that said pick up is a process: you open, hook, touch and create a connection, but you don't always have to start from the beginning. If she starts somewhere else in the process, take it from there. That's exactly what I did. She started with kino so I went right into vibing, skipped the opener and hook material.
Granted, I don't feel like this was a very solid number close. The interaction lasted less then 5 minutes, I'm not even sure if she remembers my name. I'll try giving her a call Sunday or Monday just for the hell of it. Why not?
Definitely a good night, had a lot of fun.
Anyways, off for some sleep, turkey day tomorrow and I have work all day.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Blank