Betrayed

[Tomatoes]

Long post warning.....but would appreiciate the advice.

Hi guys. Alot of you may have seen i aint been on here alot lately. Thats because i dont belive i can learn much more from Sosuave. I have no issues in pulling girls and have been helping people on here for along time however i needed a break.


I however return with an intresting one for you.

What do you do when your wingman......your best friend......your most trusted companion turns on you.

Over the past 2 weeks my wingman/Best mate has done 2 things that concern me. I dont know the best way to deal with it. So i am asking for some advice.

2 Weeks ago it started when a girl i approached successfully and manged to get the number of. My wing spoke to her the next night when i wasnt down and told her that im a player who only uses women to sleep with them (not true). He got backed up by someone else on this. I have since being trying to convince this girl i am an alright bloke.

I dont lie. I am a player.....however i dont **** women over like he said.

I spoke to him about this matter and i said i dont like it when he tells girls about my "reputation" esp when he makes it false.

However i ignored this time as i saw it as a mistake.

Tonight i went out with some friends (wing included) and there was a HB9 with our group. She was friends with one of the girls out with us. When i arrived my wing (To big a ***** to try with a girl. He is recovering AFC) told me the situation on her. Basically she had been ditched by her boyfriend and mates. They had gone to another club. He then suggested i should try and pull her. I told him i wasnt sure but we will see.

Later in the night im making moves on this girl. I find out she needed her boyfriend for her lift home and shes getting quite worried. I tell her to calm down. I offer her a lift home (something i am capable of as i was driving) and she accepts. She starts to be more happy. She is then offered a lift home but looks at me and says she will stay. Serious IOI

A few of my mates instantly think i want to sleep with her. (Naturally that CAN be the plan but i was going to play it and see where it goes). So the night carries on then all of a sudden i find out that another girl (UG4 who doesnt trust me because i turned her down a week or so back) is told of my plan to give her a lift BY MY WING and she slips her out and they grab a taxi. Idont know what they told her about me to ditch but im guessing its not good. I ask my wing where shes gone and he tells me they got a taxi. I said you didnt tell me on purpose did you? He said yeah because i thought you were in the wrong. (He has the morals of the pope.) Another guys gf is offbounds to him but he KNOWS my rules and he norm doesnt have a problem with them. It was a gf of a random guy which in my book is "fair game"

I left shortly after not happy.....


How should i deal with this....He IS my best mate and i cant lose him as a friend. Hes like a brother to me.....But at the same time. This cant continue. It seems like he is purposely sabataging my chances with girls.

ALL advice welcome on this one.....


Sarge On...

 

[VSTbeserk]

Think this question good and hard to yourself does a good friend sabatoge you/ stab you in the back? its obvious he does not feel the same thing about you. You told him you didn't like what he was doing and he still did it anway.......doesn't sound like a good friend to me i would cut him loose even if he is your best friend.....

 

[blinkwatt]

My best of friends let me do what makes me happy,not what's moral. Say I want to drink,they wont stop me,ITS WHAT I WANT TO DO! They are there when I need them and when I'm in trouble. Now say if I were to say I want to fight someone,they would make sure its really what I want to do(warn me of consequences if I were to do it),then stand behind my decision.

These are examples,in no way do I condone drinking or fighting.

 

[Phyzzle]

He can be your best mate, but not your wing.

I do have some friends who have a habit of scaring off chicks. Sarging within a mile of these guys is out of the quesiton. We still hang out a lot, though. I do have good friends who never actually meet any woman I'm involved with.

I don't think he's a bad guy, just misguided. He honestly believes that most chicks are emotionally hurt by one night stands. You can tell him otherwise, but he won't believe you.

This is why I'm a fan of getting the digits. The UG friends will physically tackle the most aroused female and get her away from you - that just happens, without any clumsy friends.

 

[Tomatoes]

Thanks for your points of view guys.

I have had time to sleep on it now. I am still angry. I still feel a lil betrayed.

Normally he would back me. Be on my side. As i would for him always.

If he isnt....like blink said. He would tell me of the consequences and make sure its what i want to do. At no point in the past thow has he "hindered" my progress with girls....this is what concerns me....its not that hes always like this. Hes changed to this.

Eg. When UG was trying to get this girl to leave he normally would tell me or try and stop the HB from leaving (Hes not stupid. He can talk to women. Its just his morals that dont get him any *****.) Not help the UG get the HB away from me....That is betrayal in terms of a wing. Not how a wing should act.

I think when im talking to him tonight im going to say that hes not my wing anymore. Im not going to tell him of girls i am intrested in. I still deeply respect him as a friend but hes just not helping.

Just for the record. I DID get that HBs number.....I aint told my mate yet. I think i am going to hang back on that info. Im worried about what he and the UG said thow to make the girl leave without me....she seemed into me...Knowing the UG.....she would tell her im some rapist or something....Shes a real *****.

I saw an intresting phrase last night

"You cant run with the hare and hunt with the hounds"

I think my mate needs to choose....


Anyways. Thanks again for the advice guys

 

[Fash]

Tomatoes, My man!

You may have noticed I haven't been posting much lately, but I'm gonna have to contribute to this one...

I have the same situation. My wingman doesn't do this sort of thing, but he does suddnly get all moral on me sometimes and really kills my mojo. You are just gonna have to work out a way around it.

You shouldn't let girls come between you and your mate. It seems like you get on with this guy, but you only have an issue with him when there are girls involved. So here is how you avoid further c*ck-blocking...

When you are out with him, don't sarge. Keep the sarging for when you are NOT with him. Don't let him on your activities with the chicks. Soon he will get the message and either change his way, or accept the fact that he will be kept out of your business with women.

Take care

Fash

 

[d9930380]

Your mate is waking up to what your really like and yes he doesn't like it and is sabotaging your chances.

The truth is, there is no right or wrong. Like everything else, it's just relative perspective and his perspective doesn't fit with yours and now he's beginning to see this. Your friendship is probably what kept him from displaying this a long time ago but I bet he's been trying to hint at it.

However to the poster that says one-night stands don't hurt women. That's not true, I REALLY hurt a girl once from a one-night stand. Infact most girls have a very low oppinion of men because of this, why they believe we're all pigs.

By not wanting to see someone after you've ****ed them, you're rejecting them except this time your being rejected by someone you've just been intimate with, think about it and what that does to someone. This leads to an inability to trust men or even believe men have feelings at all.

Those girls that are sluts and **** around (seemingly no-problem) tend to be ****-ups that hate men although they mask that by saying it's all part of the game. But then again, men who do this normally have had some ***** hurt them too. Again - it's not black or white, there are alot of girls/guys out there that are just having fun too though.

I'm not saying I don't have one-night stands, but i do try to either make sure I would see her again or she's aware of the situation (maybe on holiday, not ready for a relationship etc).