Best way to "call it off"?

[hansol]

Hey guys,

Just looking for opinions on how to deal with another female in my life.

She is pretty cool, but I'm looking for LTR material right now. I have FBs on the side, but as entertaining as it is, my ultimate goal for my life is a proper LTR.

So with that in mind, like I said, this girl is cool, and nice to look at, but she doesn't really do it for me anymore. I was pursuing her as an LTR, not a FB, and she just doesn't mesh with what I'm looking for. She isn't "fun", it's almost a drag to hang out with her, but the sex is good, and her body is perfection. So it's a bit of a trade off.

I'm bored and fed up with going through the motions to placate her and keep her happy (a bit of a high maintenance girl). She is taking me for granted, and I'm not one to put up with that. I'm wondering if I should do the whole "This isn't working, I'm looking for something more serious and someone who can move forward with me in life, so we are going to just have to be friends blah blah blah", OR instead if I should just back way the hell off and not say anything. Basically just disappear?

Anyways, if anyone has been in this situation, which worked out the best for you? Cheers.

 

[FunnyMan]

all you have to do is link her to this thread, or tell her exactly what you just typed to us, Then its over. Simple.

 

[hansol]

Well yes, over is over. And maybe I shouldn't I care about how it's done, but I do.

I guess which one will give LESS drama? Telling her I'm done will lead to her wanting to "talk about it", which of course I don't. And if I tell her I don't give a crap, she will flip out, and we will leave on bad terms. I personally don't like leaving things on bad terms.

If I drift away however, then she will too be wondering "what's wrong, what's different", blah blah blah.

Maybe I am overthinking it a touch, but just was curious how you gentleman here have ended things, and how it worked out. I actually don't mind this girl, I just don't want to continue things with futher is all. Nothing against her personally, just not meant to be.

(don't get me wrong, I've had my share of nasty breakups, but I try to avoid drama when I can.)

 

[Igetit!]

Well,if you don't want to directly tell her you're not interested in her,you could always go the AFC route.

Tell her she's beautiful,tell her you have feelings for her,that you're falling for her,call her twice a day...everyday. Try to spend as much time with her as possible.

You do these things for about a week or two,then all the sudden you'll notice her flaking on you,giving you excuse after excuse about how she's busy,or doesn't have time to see you.

Do that,then after the excuses start,tell her that you think you two need to go your seperate ways because you need a woman who has more time on her hands for you.

 

[hansol]

For the sake of future queries, here's what I said. I'll keep you posted about how it goes:

"You were right, this isn't going to work. I'm not the right guy for you. And I don't mean that in a mean way, it just isn't meant to be right now."

 

[hansol]

All she said was "yup".

Next I said (cudos to Igetit!) "I just need someone has more time for me. But we can still be friends. I don't like leaving things on bad terms."

And again, she said "yup".

So that was the end of the discussion. (Yes, this was by text message. It's always been the easiest way to contact this girl.) I'll leave it up to her to see if she wants to get in touch again.

That being said, I have a sneaking suspicion that it might have been me who unkowingly got played lol! Maybe this was what she wanted. Who knows. Next!

Cheers guys!

 

[scrouds]

That being said, I have a sneaking suspicion that it might have been me who unkowingly got played lol! Maybe this was what she wanted.

"yup"

 

[hansol]

HAHA touche.

 

[Kal0051]

That being said, I have a sneaking suspicion that it might have been me who unkowingly got played lol! Maybe this was what she wanted. Who knows. Next!

the question is do you care or does it even matter? My guess is no. Get out there and find more girls. Good luck.

 

[hansol]

the question is do you care or does it even matter? My guess is no. Get out there and find more girls. Good luck.

No, that's exactly it. I don't care, so can laugh at the fact that I may have been played. But I got my action out of it, and crossed a possible "future ex wife" off the LTR danger list, so life is good.

 

[Cinamon]

Hansol you got two yups and thats it. That woman is going to be brewing some sh1t in her cauldron, be cautios, be very very cautious!

 

[Prodigy746]

Rofl ... bro you came on here to ask us how to brake up w your gf than you randomly decided to brake up with her through text. Thats very AFC IMO... almost as bad as braking up through email. Based on everything i read from you i feel like you are AFC and it seemed like she didn't care one bit for you. I dont blame her because what girl would care for a guy who doesn't have the balls to call a girl up or tell her in person that its over. ROFL at her response "Yup" ahah

 

[hansol]

Rofl ... bro you came on here to ask us how to brake up w your gf than you randomly decided to brake up with her through text. Thats very AFC IMO... almost as bad as braking up through email. Based on everything i read from you i feel like you are AFC and it seemed like she didn't care one bit for you. I dont blame her because what girl would care for a guy who doesn't have the balls to call a girl up or tell her in person that its over. ROFL at her response "Yup" ahah

For starters, she wasn't a girlfriend. Didn't even get to LTR stages. I had my fun, but as I said, I'm looking for an LTR at this point in my life, not random casual sex. So I had to ask myself where I wanted this to go, and I didn't see it going any further.

And yes, I would have kept it casual if it wasn't such an effort and literally "painful" to keep her around. You know those girls whom you have a conversation with and go "Holy Christ, this girl is about as fun as beige paper"? Well she was one of those. And a nice rack doesn't get you a free pass to be bore the hell out of me.

Secondly, I don't really give a crap about the "ethics" or methodology of a break up. I don't want the girl in my life. I don't give a crap how she feels. It's over and done. When I've decided I don't want someone in my life, that's it. All I was asking about was what would produce the least amount of drama, and in this case it worked beautifully.

If she wanted to talk, she could have called, and I would have answered. She didn't, she's gone, life is good. Nothing AFC about that, Prodigy.