being "spoiled" and seduction

[undesputable]

i was reading the art of seduction and i came across something interesting that ive never thought about. I was reading that according to Sigmund freud spoiled children tend to have a confidence that stays with them all their lives. For example, somebody who was spoiled as a child expects a lot out of life and they radiate an attitude of confidence that attracts people.

I was never spoiled as a child by any means, but i have many friends who were and interestingly enough they are really good with women and seducing people. is there anyone here that was spoiled as a child and is really good with women?

i also came something else that caught my attention. while on here on so suave and DYD says that getting in the friend zone is so bad, the book actually suggests to go from friend to lover. This according to the author creates a false sense of security which eliminates the risk of stiring up any resistance by being too direct. What i personally understood is to begin the relationship as a friend but in a sense of just gaining knowledge about them to make the seduction process easier.

 

[insidious]

I don't know man - I guess it all comes down to whether or not we believe our own bullshyt.

Personally, I was never spoiled, in fact, I had to fend for myself through most of my childhood. I never had any false sense of security nor was I ever "taught" that I had any sense of being a "fortunate son." Funny thing is, though I learned to develop tons of independence and self-reliance, I learned absolutely NOTHING about confidence. None of my child-hood experience came into play until I was well into my late 30's.

Now I consider myself a very secure and confident man. Maybe I'm a little older but my own sense of self is so deeply ingrained and strong that nothing will deter it. As opposed to a lot of the boys I hear sucking up like sheep to some of my chick friends. Boys who were instilled with a false sense of empowerment way too young.

 

[flippinfreak]

Assuming from what most guys on here will say... there are different kinds of spoiled...

What Freud was looking at, was a spoiled brat...

the BRAT is what you should focus on.

i also came something else that caught my attention. while on here on so suave and DYD says that getting in the friend zone is so bad, the book actually suggests to go from friend to lover. This according to the author creates a false sense of security which eliminates the risk of stiring up any resistance by being too direct. What i personally understood is to begin the relationship as a friend but in a sense of just gaining knowledge about them to make the seduction process easier.

This quote^^^^^

Is going to go nowhere, 'spoiled' was enough to pay attention to.

 

[everywomanshero]

I know some kids who were spoiled that were always good with women. How many were spoiled that I didn't know about who could've been bad with women is hard to say?

If I were to pass on my genetic material, my advice to the sucker raising them would be too not discipline much. Let them run around and have fun. Don't make them afraid to stand out. So many parents themselves have social anxiety that they prevent their offspring from really shinning. People try too hard to fit in the wrong ways. IMHO you want to fit in to some degree so you will be functional and people won't shun you completely, but you want to be different in a good way at the same time.

 

[Syren]

I think both can be right. What works is having a high value frame. If you were spoiled you grew used to having a high value and expected it. If you made yourself into who you are, you have created a high value frame and live up to it.

 

[undesputable]

I think both can be right. What works is having a high value frame. If you were spoiled you grew used to having a high value and expected it. If you made yourself into who you are, you have created a high value frame and live up to it.

yea this is pretty much what it comes down to. but the spoiled kids have the advantage of naturally expecting a lot out of life and if they dont, they tend to be pretty good manipulators to get their way. in the book these kind of people are actually the people that are the naturals, the ones that dont really try to get *****.

 

[organizedconfusion]

don't be soo quick to assume that being 'spoiled' means getting all of your needs met and that's the end of it..was i spoiled as a child? hell yeah! but that's because i only had a 50% survival rate and i almost died the following weeks of birth..fast forward to my childhood and i was spoiled because of it..my parents worked two jobs each and my sister worked also, i was a sickly kid and i never was bigger then a bean pole.i was spoiled rotten in terms of material syte, but when it came to love,attention and affection..it was running really dry.Imagine a star that desperatly needed the spotlight but was ignored relentlessly..so what happened exactly? i was 'forced' to look for it elsewhere..and i was terribly successfull and i became quite good at it.Does being spoiled have anything to do with it? i don't know really..all i know is that if i wanted or needed attention ,there were ways i needed to 'act' in order to get it.Sex,girls whatever all came natural, because i NEEDED to feel that way and i was assertive enought to get my needs met one way or the other..if my parents never would've ignored me and never really gave me their affection and love, i would've never gone out and looked for it...

 

[undesputable]

well what freud was talking about was about being spoiled affectionally actually. He was personally spoiled as a child so he was speaking from experience. I think it could go either way, because if your affectionally spoiled there will be a point when you wont excatly care too much for moms attention and so you look for it somewhere else. You expect other people to spoil you, whether it be with sex, love, whatever... On the flip side if youre spoiled materially but lack the affection, youre still going to have a similar attitude because being used to getting everything material, why should it be different with girls, sex, etc...?

people call Freud crazy but i perosnally think he knew his ****.

 

[organizedconfusion]

it would explain my non-chalant attitude that i can get anything i want materialwise..but then again my seemingly insatiable appetite for affection..not sex, but actual love and affection (much like a leo sign),if my parents would've spoiled me with love and affection..i doubt i would have ever gotten into the seduction community...i would've been married with children already because i would have no issues concerning it,not that anyone else is to blame...
agreed,Frued is da man..

 

[blinkwatt]

Funny,I was just about to post about this...I guess you beat me to it congrats.

 

[Egoist]

yeah i guess that makes sense.

i was always totally spoiled by parents, and my self-esteem and self-worth is through the roof.

I am also totally non-challant, and relatively good with women, in a way that I can see being an offshoot of this.

 

[thederekeffect1]

I was never spoiled, but from my observation - Yes, people who were spoiled do generally have a certain confidence due to their "I get what I want" attitude. However, I've noticed that a lot of my friends that were spoiled are also sort of clingy and get jealous quite easily.

 

[ScrewIt]

I was never spoiled, but from my observation - Yes, people who were spoiled do generally have a certain confidence due to their "I get what I want" attitude. However, I've noticed that a lot of my friends that were spoiled are also sort of clingy and get jealous quite easily.

yes i've noticed that too, my ex never worked a day in her life. yet everything she's done and will continue to do is only fueled by her dad's credit cards. And from being spoiled, i finally did learn she truly does possess high expectations for her future....of course it made her a gold digger! But because of being spoiled this way, her insecurities...such as confidence in her potential were quite lacking.
my friend is spoiled too and stays at home doing nothing but play games, barely goes to school...end result? he does nothing, doesnt even find a job.

i suppose it could be true, being spoiled through childhood sets urself up for having higher expectations from life.

But i think it equally happens as well when you're not spoiled, because you expect more through hard work...the idea of creating your own success.

you could be spoiled through money(materialistic) or by affection/love. i think once you slip into the trap of expecting to continue being spoiled this way, you lose your true independence in relying on yourself and being able to achieve confidence.
Expectations can make or break you.
Personally i dont think either has to do with such things as how you are as a person. It has more to do with maturity and life experiences that make you who you are, especially the confidence you possess.