Being in the friends zone

[XSilverStarboyX]

First off, let me just say Im back after quite a few years away from the site, and Im bac in hopes of getting some future advice on women. Now when I was first on this site, I was a total AFC. I mean, I remember beating myself up for 6 months over this one girl who broke up with me. It makes me cringe to see how pathetic I was. So anyway, I could still use some work but Im much better than I used to be. Now to the matter at hand.

Ok so Ive been talking to this girl for about a week now. Shes actually a very cute girl, at least for someone like me, shes about an 8. Now we went to the mall on our first date and everything seemed to go really well. She was smiling constantly, and we were holding a convorsation. The next day she tells me she only thinks of me as a friend. Ok well now we have the dreaded friend zone. The rest of the week for about Id say 5 days. when Im on facebook, shes Instant messaging me, Im not even thinking about instant messaging her. So last night I was at her house, and once again, I would say things went well. I tried to show I had game without giving her TOO much attention if that makes sense. I tried to keep up the ****y and funny which can always be an instant win like for example. Her and her mom said I was too skinny and I needed to eat. I respond with "No I dont, you have 90 pounds of man standing right here" and I struck a pose. she laughed at everything I said. She even asked me to watch tv with her and patted the spot next to the couch and told me to sit down. When I left it was a little akward because well, I guess some of my AFCness came back, but just before I left she hugged me. Good sign. So anyone care to analyze this for me so I know where to go from here?

 

[Igetit!]

Ok so Ive been talking to this girl for about a week now. Shes actually a very cute girl, at least for someone like me, shes about an 8. Now we went to the mall on our first date and everything seemed to go really well. She was smiling constantly, and we were holding a convorsation. The next day she tells me she only thinks of me as a friend.

Ok,so you ended up in the friendzone with this girl.

The friendzone is a RESULT. It's a destination. A unintended destination,but a destination nonetheless.



So if you ended up in a place YOU DIDN'T PLAN TO GO,that means you either started off in the wrong direction,or you started off right,but made a wrong turn somewhere.



So my question would be,"What in the world did you talk about with her for the week you've known her,and what did you talk about on the date?".



The friendzone is a result of little to no attraction,with an excess of comfort.


You more than likely spend the majority of you time with her talking about "whatever" instead of being romantic/sexual.

So last night I was at her house, and once again, I would say things went well.

Umm...what were you doing at her house?



This proves my point. If you're hanging out at this girl's house,then she's comfortable with you. TOO COMFORTABLE. I mean comfortable like two girls who are friends


Dude,you weren't kidding. You ARE in the friendzone.

I tried to show I had game without giving her TOO much attention if that makes sense. I tried to keep up the ****y and funny which can always be an instant win like for example. Her and her mom said I was too skinny and I needed to eat.

So you're hanging out with her and her mom?

That's like a girl's night out.


I take it you've known this girl longer than the week you've been talking to her.

I respond with "No I dont, you have 90 pounds of man standing right here" and I struck a pose. she laughed at everything I said. She even asked me to watch tv with her and patted the spot next to the couch and told me to sit down. When I left it was a little akward because well, I guess some of my AFCness came back, but just before I left she hugged me. Good sign. So anyone care to analyze this for me so I know where to go from here?

No,there are NO good signs here.

I'm sorry man,but the friendzone is a one-way street to a dead-end.


You don't seem to understand...her hugging you meant NOTHING.

That's what "friends" do. If you think any of those "signs" mean anything,then ASK HER OUT.


Her response will clear up any confusion.


It's over with. You messed up man. You made a wrong turn somewhere LOOONG ago,you just didn't realize it until you arrived here at the friendzone.


Best advice here is simply to move on.

 

[tehownerer]

Man that sucks. It seem like you didnt make a move or the conversation must of been lame. Did you even kino her?? .

Yes indeedy, you are smack dab in the middle of the Friend Zone with this girl. You own The Zone. You're mayor of The Zone. You have no chance of getting together with her. Move on.

 

[Blown5.0]

Listen to Igetit!...he knows what he is talking about!

 

[Eternal87]

I've been in the dreaded friends zone before, it's a tough puddle to get out of...

 

[tafakna]

XSilver

Far from trying to enter on an endless discussion here, I'm willing to give a shot in helping you.

Everyone thinks you're doomed, so I guess you don't have much to lose.

A week is far too short a period to be friends, so in reality she's just not very interested.

If you want to try, focus on being friends for the next 2 months (you don't need to stop your whole life, keep dating other girls, and improving yourself).

 

[Warrior74]

the only way I personally have escaped the friendzone was one of two ways.

One, pity. She was my best friend and my fiance and I broke up and I was wreck, she took pity on me and nursed me back to health with lots of poon.

Two, Time and Space. She gave me no action, none. So I disappeared on her for 6 months. When I ran into again, it was game on from the jump.lots of "there is something different about you" talk, and lots of hot sex. But when she wanted a relationship, I realized that I didn't really want her and had grown past that point of us being compatible. We are back to being good friends, but now on my terms.

You pal are firmly in the zone, you're a nice guy. Sucks to be you. Your choices are to keep her as friend and go meet other women or move on, or go all out and try a late in the game hail mary and start getting very sexual with her and see if she bites (knowing that it could all End Badly). Good luck.

 

[SBW]

Yes. I would agree this might be a little too early for a true friendzone and in the past I've seen some girls pull the friend thing, whilst still demonstrating some signs of interest as a way of saying "slow-down"

Of course it is totally up to you if you slow down or not but TBH, if you don't get some sign of more positive interest soon, I'd be moving-on, before you do get mired in it.

Good luck.