Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Being a natural - the easy way

Ice Cold

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The no bull**** guide to being a natural.

This is one model of how it works, an interpretation of the world.

I don't offer you a sure way to make it work. There's no such thing.

But this model is the best I could come up with after 5 years of trying. It is socially acceptable, is easy to implement, productive and doesn't take up a lot of your time. It fits nicely into capitalist societies, which favour productivity.

Step one:


Define what you want. Think of your needs and be honest. Who do you want? On what conditions? Do not worry about the positive side of the person at all. Concentrate on the negative aspects, which would disqualify them as potential mates for you.

Instead of saying:
Good looking, say: "I don't get a hardon when I hug her - NEXT"
Or - too short to make tall kids.
Instead of saying, smart: say: "never finished highschool - NEXT"
Or - won't fit into a rave club (or a socialite society) - NEXT

Define what kind of family you want her to have. Do you want her to be isolated? Do you want "everybody loves raymond" scenario? Do you want her to come from a particular socioeconomical or ethnical background?

Example: My afgani friend would screw anything with decent ass to waist ratio, but can only marry an afgani girl... unless he wants to deal with excommunication by his family. That influences his LRT choices.

Know if you want to see each other's parents.
Know if you want to introduce each other's friends.

Step two:


Know what you have to offer. Can be anything - from good looking body to rich parents who'll leave you a fortune. Having a car, income, free time, attention, gifts, caring, loving, connections, education, sense of humour, big ****, sexual experience, strong character...

In the end, you pay for everything. You just choose how you do it. You can pay with money, attention, kind gestures, your time, the status you give if you're a looker... Nothing you give is free.

One man buys his sweetheard a diamon (status), the other gives his time: Drives her around nightclubs, but he doesn't like it. Brings her coffee when she's studying for finals, even though it wasted almost an hour.

Once you define what you want and what you can offer, you will have a much easier time approaching and communicating with girls.

All of the your positive qualities from above are obvious and sometimes they are not needed. If your subject of affection is well provided for, they might have absollutely different needs. Desire to take care of someone, desire to teach, desire to help, desire to know that they are needed.

Ever notice how hollywood exploits this? Watch any romantic movie and you'll see: "But I need you! I can not do it without you! Hug me now darling! YOU are the one that brings happiness to my life!"

And then come the extremes: "My world depends on you! I am willing to risk my life for you! I am willing to die for you!"

Standard shakespearian crap: Bringing an everyday scenario to an extreme.

Too bad we only see it in the movies. Most people are too insecure to openly admit needing someone else. Everybody walks around with a air of independence and trying to "look cool", while secretly wanting to a sign that they are NEEDED.

And in the evening, they pay 8 bucks to see the movie and imagine yourself in place of that oh-so-seductive character.

A lot of self-proclaimed DonJuans fail to realize this.
 

Ice Cold

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Step three:


Make it your goal to find that person. Once you have your needs and wants figured out, it will become very easy.

You will have a goal AND an a plan of action. Why do most of the guys stall? Because they just want to ****, which is natural.

You see a girl, you get a hardon... or you just imagine bending her over and doing her right there. Had you lived 10 thousand years ago, you'd have to hesitation. You do exactly that.

But now with your social conditioning in place, you know you can't do that. And you can't say: "oh hi, wanna ****?" (oh wait, alt seduction says you can)

So you invent all kinds of things to get closer to your object of attention - being her friend, buying her a drink, staring at her till she freaks out, palms get sweaty, you stutter... You read enough about this crap on sosuave.

This is not a trivial thing. It's not just a philosophical conflict of: "to **** or not to ****?". It's a struggle between your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems! It's the same as holding a hot cup of tea - your body tells you to release it, but your social conditioning tells you not to break it. Except in our case, we need to deal with the burning sensation day in and day out!

Technically speaking, approaching is not alpha. It's just a norm. ALL MALES - be they alpha or beta - approach. ALWAYS. Only the defective ones, or sick ones, or castrated start shaking and get sweaty as if they're running a fewer. No wonder most of the females find AFCs pathetic or disgusting. 10 thousand years ago, it would've means they're running a fever and are about to keel over. Not someone you'd want to mate with!

But you need not worry about it anymore! You know who you are! You are a social animal! You know your priorities.

So here you go - you approach her, but with total respect to the society and its norms of not allowing you to bend her over:

Hello.
Hello
How are you doing today?
Quite fine, how can I help you?
I just noticed you when you walked into the room. You look very nice!
Thank you
I was wondering if I could invite you for a cup of coffee sometime.

If she has a boyfriend, she'll tell you now. And I bet she'll be pleasant about it. "ooh, I'm so sorry, but I have a boyfriend"
I might ask - "How long have you guys known each other?"
And see what her response would be, but I never push it.

If she says yes, get her number and remove yourself.
 

Ice Cold

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Step four:

The date! The first date! Where should I go? What do I do? I gotta look right?! Be cool! Remember the rules about being alpha! It should be exciting and you shouldn't show your desire.

BULL****! Load of bull****!

You got her digits, you like her. AT LEAST ON THE PRIMAL LEVEL.

DO NOT HIDE IT.

But you have morals. And you are not crazy about some girl you just gotten to know. Why? Because you have to evaluate her first!

Remember that checklist from step one? Run it on her. Test her. Ask provocative questions! Dig in! Poke her, and see how she reacts. (mentally)

Keep asking, until you run out of questions.

If she doesn't keep the convo up or gives one word replies, she's probably not intrested.

And her: "are you having a bad day today or you don't like me THAT WAY?"

See her reaction. If verbally or non verbally she says she doesn't like you - then you're done. It took you whopping 20 minutes and four bucks (don't cheap out and pay for her coffee, it's worth it - trust me) But now you're one girl closer to the one.

Once you're done asking questions, ask her: "So, do you think you like me?" She'll probably say something omnious, which indicates that she does. Whoo-pee - you're in.

Then go ahead and spend some more time with her doing something more involved. You'll get a feel if what she told you is true or not. Visit her room - that's a good indication of what she's about. Visit her relatives. See her friends.

Family, room, friends, some casual promenade, a tryout in the sack - five to seven dates. If you don't know if you like her now, then your IQ is below 20.

This is where I say: "My darling, I like you very much. And I hope you like me the same way I like you. Would you like to go exclusive?"

Yes/no/I'll think about it.

If she's saying anything omnious, I ask if there's anything that can help her decide. If she can't communicate anything coherent, I don't play shrink. It just doesn't work - I just next.

You want her to be able to clearly express her feelings and concens about you, herself and the relationship. If she doesn't do it, she's a headcase and you're not a sertified psychiatrist to try and fix her.

Give me your thoughts on this
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Not taking anything away from this post but isn't it funny that there is a thread with someone telling you what to do to be "natural?" :p
 

Ice Cold

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Not taking anything away from this post but isn't it funny that there is a thread with someone telling you what to do to be "natural?" :p
Being natural is only a pose, and the most irritating pose I know.

Lord Henry in Dorian Gray
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by Ice Cold
Being natural is only a pose, and the most irritating pose I know.

Lord Henry in Dorian Gray
Nice one, I like it. :up:
 

Chrispy

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The thing about NOT being natural is:
- you're all nervous and 'date-like' that the conversations are mechnical, dry, and it makes it look like you're trying too hard
- it makes the girl feel uncomfortable, which makes you feel uncomfortable which just makes things worse.

Ice cold has very good pointers all around - take the person off a pedestal and put yourself above her (in your head) so that you're at ease, confident, and natural.

Still, the Lord Henry in Dorian Gray quote is funny ;)
 

Xtravaganza

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Originally posted by Ice Cold
Once you're done asking questions, ask her: "So, do you think you like me?"
...
This is where I say: "My darling, I like you very much. And I hope you like me the same way I like you. Would you like to go exclusive?"
The AFC guide...
 

Docs

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Ice Cold, excellent points. I do have to disagree with this one though..
Originally posted by Ice Cold
Once you're done asking questions, ask her: "So, do you think you like me?"
...
This is where I say: "My darling, I like you very much. And I hope you like me the same way I like you. Would you like to go exclusive?"
Aa natural as this is, and as much of the natural fore-runner I am, this is a extremely poor way to do it.

If you've been on 5 to 7 dates with her, you can TELL if she likes you. There's no need to ask, this is where you do what's next that feels natural. Kiss her. So get close to her, NATURE will dictate if she follows though. Once this happens..well..you still don't have to tell her you like her, because you'd probably be making out by now.

Oh, and you still ain't nervous.
 

Ice Cold

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Maybe I phrased it a wrong way:

Visit her room - that's a good indication of what she's about. Visit her relatives. See her friends.

Family, room, friends, some casual promenade, a tryout in the sack - five to seven dates. If you don't know if you like her now, then your IQ is below 20.

This is where I say: "My darling, I like you very much. And I hope you like me the same way I like you. Would you like to go exclusive?"
What I mean is that you'd gone out together for at least... 5 dates and done this checklist:

1) see her family
2) see her friends
3) see her room
4) fvcked her

It's obvious that she likes you if she's in the sack... In my experience it helps though.

Once you're done asking questions, ask her: "So, do you think you like me?"
This one I probably shouldn't have used given the "ye shalt be crucifixed, shalt ye give flowers or verbalize feelings" mentality of the board. Mr Xtravaganza summed it up nicely.

I'm looking for LTR with a decent chick, so I beleive it to be a bit different than just a lay
 

brosnake

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Good post. Knowing what you are looking for is just as important as knowing what you have to offer.

Hello.
Hello
How are you doing today?
Quite fine, how can I help you?
I just noticed you when you walked into the room. You look very nice!
Thank you
I was wondering if I could invite you for a cup of coffee sometime.


I was just wondering how many times the above conversataion has lead to you getting a legit number?

Thanks,

-brosnake
 

Ice Cold

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Originally posted by brosnake
I was just wondering how many times the above conversataion has lead to you getting a legit number?
Just once! :(

But I've only tried this particular conversation once! ;)

So it has a 100% success rate. :cheer: :crackup:

When I approach, they and myself are usually doing something with their friends, or studying, or going to a lecture... In other words no time to really sit down and talk.

"Hello, how are you?" is compulsory for a polite starter. One girl replied: "Late for my exam! What do you want? :woo: "

Your phone number, you're cute. :p

She writes it down and runs off.

I just try to make it short, comment on the thing I like about them and then get the number and get out. Doesn't always work of course, but usually if I have a chance with them at all, they don't refuse. The ones that refuse just don't like me physically and say: "no!" or "sorry, no" Or have a boyfriend and say: "sorry, but I have a boyfriend"

Easy
 
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