Being a DJ in an LTR is a myth!!!
- Thread starter The Edge
- Start date
Exactly!
When in a relationship I still walk around with a DJ attitude. I smile at every chick that I find attractive. I strike up conversations whenever I can. Even with my gf standing right there. I don't ask for phone numbers or go on dates or cheat on her but thats okay. My girlfriend would see this and realize she better be treating me right or I just might be down the road with someone else. Thats being a DJ in an LTR if you ask me.
Oscar Wilde
Master Don Juan
Now here's someone with the right attitude.
This is my style too. This culture allows you to talk to anyone, anytime. My (English) ex marvelled to her friend one time: "Oscar talks to EVERYONE" (I do) [1] after seeing me having a chat with a foreign couple, and giving them some pointers on where to go out.
Limits? Personally I wouldn't cross the street to chat up a girl if I was in LTR (regardless of if gf was or wasnt there).
So be a DJ, be confident, and be friendly to *everyone*.
Osc.
[1] The reason I'm on this site is not cos I don't have the confidence, it's just that I didn't know how to use it. This place has helped a lot.
I have no problem with LTR's, hey if thats the route you wish to pursue, then, have at it.... My problem is with the LTR guys shelling out advice for DJ's.... It ends up being like water and oil...
YOU CANNOT FUNCTION AS A DJ WHEN YOU ARE INVOLVED IN A FULL-FLEDGED RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE WOMAN .. For one you have lost the killer instinct, the desire to stay in the hunt all day if you have to, and develop your game..
Thus, even if you want to call yourself a DJ you really can't... You aren't actively participating in the hunt anymore, and your advice although ancient (when I was single or back in the day advice), is skewed and often comes from the :
'I am so happy in my LTR with my gyrlfriend ' approach...
I know a lot of guys here into STR's think the way I do, but because they idolize certain posters on this board, they remain tight-lipped..
Not me....
LTR's are not made to incorporate DJ ideas... Period!!!
The Edge ' Some have it, and some don't '
YOU CANNOT FUNCTION AS A DJ WHEN YOU ARE INVOLVED IN A FULL-FLEDGED RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE WOMAN .. For one you have lost the killer instinct, the desire to stay in the hunt all day if you have to, and develop your game..
Thus, even if you want to call yourself a DJ you really can't... You aren't actively participating in the hunt anymore, and your advice although ancient (when I was single or back in the day advice), is skewed and often comes from the :
'I am so happy in my LTR with my gyrlfriend ' approach...
I know a lot of guys here into STR's think the way I do, but because they idolize certain posters on this board, they remain tight-lipped..
Not me....
LTR's are not made to incorporate DJ ideas... Period!!!
The Edge ' Some have it, and some don't '
At first I read this and thought, someone got sand in his ****, but after reading some of edge's replies I realized he does have a point. When you are in a relationship you do lose some of the edge that you have when trying to pick up ladies(no pun intended).
That said, being in a ltr right now, I am still looking for ways to improve my game. I get out a couple of nights a week without the woman and try and flirt a bit, just to keep some of my game strong.
It is still possible to be a challenge in a ltr, if anything it is harder. It is still possible, and even necessary to do ****y and funny while in a ltr. If anything you can get better feedback because the girl will get pissed if you go over the line.
conclusion: I still think it is possible to get useful "picking up" advice from guys in a relationship.
That said, being in a ltr right now, I am still looking for ways to improve my game. I get out a couple of nights a week without the woman and try and flirt a bit, just to keep some of my game strong.
It is still possible to be a challenge in a ltr, if anything it is harder. It is still possible, and even necessary to do ****y and funny while in a ltr. If anything you can get better feedback because the girl will get pissed if you go over the line.
conclusion: I still think it is possible to get useful "picking up" advice from guys in a relationship.
Oscar Wilde
Master Don Juan
Look at comotes conclusion. It is possible. For one thing, a guy in an LTR is always going to be confident, and he is always going to act like he doesn't care about what random women think, because he doesn't.
When I was in LTR women were hitting on me *all the time*, it really pissed me off (cos I did play fair).
Oscar.
When I was in LTR women were hitting on me *all the time*, it really pissed me off (cos I did play fair).
Oscar.
Dark Nimbus
Senior Don Juan
Edge, you don't know what you're talking about. You've said yourself that you haven't been in an LTR or don't want to be in one, so how can you be so sure you're right?
I've said this before and I'll say it again, many of the rules in an LTR definitely change from the rules of STR, but that doesn't mean we forget them or that they all go out the window the moment you get into a LTR. Obviously you can't remain a total mystery if you're spending a lot of time with the same girl, but I don't necessarily think that's a BAD thing. It's nice to have someone around that can understand you and support you on a more personal level then your guy friends ever can.
I think your problem is that you treat girls like material objects instead of human beings. You say a guy should have a dream and the woman should help accomplish it, but what's wrong with you both getting what you want? You seem very selfish and maybe you don't like LTR's because you can't sustain one of your own?
Whatever your problem is with LTR's, the fact remains that you can incorporate DJ philosophy in them and I do it all the time so I can speak from experience, unlike you.
I've said this before and I'll say it again, many of the rules in an LTR definitely change from the rules of STR, but that doesn't mean we forget them or that they all go out the window the moment you get into a LTR. Obviously you can't remain a total mystery if you're spending a lot of time with the same girl, but I don't necessarily think that's a BAD thing. It's nice to have someone around that can understand you and support you on a more personal level then your guy friends ever can.
I think your problem is that you treat girls like material objects instead of human beings. You say a guy should have a dream and the woman should help accomplish it, but what's wrong with you both getting what you want? You seem very selfish and maybe you don't like LTR's because you can't sustain one of your own?
Whatever your problem is with LTR's, the fact remains that you can incorporate DJ philosophy in them and I do it all the time so I can speak from experience, unlike you.
Oscar Wilde
Master Don Juan
See this thread.
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9270
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9270
Mustang
Don Juan
diplomatic_lies
Master Don Juan
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diplomatic_lies
Master Don Juan
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Theres a difference between DJ and player. A player devotes his time to women without attachment, a DJ devotes his time to himself and his goals. My goal is to reach age 30 with $2M. If thats not achieved, no amount of sex or women will make up for it.
DJ Girevik
Senior Don Juan
Edge, go back to the DJ bible and read it again. Being a DJ doesn't revolve around women - it revolves around YOUR OWN ATTITUDE. You are confusing a DJ with a player. You can't be a player in an LTR (unless you're doing MLTR's or cheating), but you can sure as hell be a DJ. How? Simple, keep your manhood and don't become whipped. And keep it interesting.
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
In the Moliere, Mozart sense of the character Don Juan, you're absolutely right. We model ourselves after the serialized Don Juan of Byron's devising. I suggest you look into it and marvel at the difference.
GinuwineXXX
Don Juan
Edge I agree and I disagree.
He has a point. If you are in a LTR and you are faithful then you lose some of the magic of being single. The mystery is mostly gone because this woman knows everything about you.
After a period of time everything is predictable about you and her. It takes alot of fun out of everything.
What I disagre about. Why can't you give advise about "DJing" if your in a LTR.
Yes being in a LTR means your somewhat in jail. But that doesn't mean you lose all of your knowledge and wisdom of the "Game".
He has a point. If you are in a LTR and you are faithful then you lose some of the magic of being single. The mystery is mostly gone because this woman knows everything about you.
After a period of time everything is predictable about you and her. It takes alot of fun out of everything.
What I disagre about. Why can't you give advise about "DJing" if your in a LTR.
Yes being in a LTR means your somewhat in jail. But that doesn't mean you lose all of your knowledge and wisdom of the "Game".
Do you really think the above is advice, InLawsHateMe? How about the hundred or more times he's directly attacked me?
Aiken Drum described the emotions of a DJ quite nicely, "External stimuli shouldn't disturb you at such a high level if you were a DJ." More popular DJism practitioners like Pook have said that a DJ is not a player.
Who is one to believe: The Edge de Chumpville or Pook? Hrm... hard decision.
It's quite obvious that a DJ is not a player. This topic has been discussed thoroughly before The Edge invaded these boards and I care not to get into it with the likes of him.USSOCOM
Senior Don Juan
I'm suprised by your conclusion Edge. Obviously a DJ is NOT a player, and I think you know that too be true... but at this point are just defending your hasty post. As far as being a DJ in an LTR.. what makes you think its not possible, challenge and mystery are just for the attraction factor. Once you get into an LTR you start to show your women the meat and potatoes of being a DJ.
boost
Senior Don Juan
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And, this is why people are disagreeing here.
To me and many others, the two are certainly NOT the same thing. There is a clear ideological distinction.
A "player" focuses on girls. His life revolves around other people, specifically, whatever girl is there at the moment. A "DJ" focuses on himself. Being able to attract the majority of women (if thats what he wants) is just a side benefit of his success in molding himself into the person he wants to be.