Begging for Flowers

[lifeislearning]

My current GF has been nagging me for months to buy her some flowers.

I hate buyiung flowers. I know girls like them but the act seems so stupid and meaningless to me after so many guys bring them on first dates and give them to girls who couldn't be less interested.

Rather than being a candy and flowers guy, I show my affection with a fun outing, or by cooking an awesome dinner. She says these are all very appreciated but sometimes a girl just wants flowers.

Today is her B-Day and although there are other presents/activities I have already procured, she sent me a text telling me she was going to get some herself if I didn't. I had already planned to do so, but now I would almost rather throw them in the trash than give in to the persistent mention of them.

Am I justified in this thinking or just being stubborn?

 

[zekko]

I'm not one to buy flowers either, but I think you're overthinking it. You're conditioned by all this PUA material which says never buy flowers, never be romantic. If she wants the flowers so bad, just get her some flowers. No need to be a d!ck about it.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

IDK man, it's her birthday -- if she really really wants flowers and treats you well -- get her some flowers. You don't have to spoil her and do this all of the time -- but something that simple might get you a long way.

 

[PDubb75]

lifeis... I completely see your point. I agree that giving flowers is pointless. But even still, if it is done, it should be done spontaneously and unexpectedly. The fact that shes putting this out there like she is would make me not want to either. And this would be the case for a sibling, friends, parent, anyone... I just hate when people do that...

With that being said, it's REALLY not worth getting into a fight about. I would just get them this time, and try to get something out of it.

 

[Zunder]

Fvck the flowers - and no I dont think you are "overdoing" it.
So does she buy you stuff YOU like outa the blue?
What is this sh!t with her and flowers.
I have gone out with some crazy b!tches in my lifetime, but as BPD as they were, I never got this "why dont you buy me flowers" cr@p.

 

[sharkbeat]

You are being stubborn.

I'd recommend getting her a flower, but not in a traditional flower-on-your-back-ring-the-bell-hand-over-the-flower way.

Still say no, and do keep saying no, but give it anyway when she least expects it. Put a tiny rose on her purse, or put it on the bed, or something 'romantic' **** like that. But you still need to say no to her.

 

[Zunder]

You are being stubborn.

I'd recommend getting her a flower, but not in a traditional flower-on-your-back-ring-the-bell-hand-over-the-flower way.

Still say no, and do keep saying no, but give it anyway when she least expects it. Put a tiny rose on her purse, or put it on the bed, or something 'romantic' **** like that. But you still need to say no to her.

Completely gay mate.
I ask the questiion again: Why does he have to buy her flowers? Why does he have to buy her anything?

 

[sharkbeat]

Completely gay mate.
I ask the questiion again: Why does he have to buy her flowers? Why does he have to buy her anything?

depends how long he's been dating her. if he has dated her for awhile, I don't see why not, as long as it's a surprise. If they just been dating for less than a year, then no.

Whenever a woman begs me, I always do that. I say no, but I make mental notes. One day when I really do need to give her a present, birthday, christmas, what not, that's when I do it when I run out of other ideas.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear life is learning,
I buy a minimum of one bunch of flowers a week....flowers generally last about a fortnight....Is it not said that you need a Sprat to catch a Mackeral?

 

[amoka]

Don't follow the "rule" of not getting a woman a flower and a such. These rules are there for newbies that do things to appease women. If it is your girlfriend's birthday and she would like a flower, get it for her.

 

[Desdinova]

Getting a woman traditional gifts on "special days" is predictable, boring, and what the AFC does. The Don Juan will tickle her emotions by getting her a gift when he genuinely appreciates and thinks about her, not forced by a traditional gift-giving day.

In other words, don't get her flowers on her birthday. Get her flowers when she's showing her appreciation for you (such as cooking you supper).

 

[DJDamage]

In other words, don't get her flowers on her birthday. Get her flowers when she's showing her appreciation for you (such as cooking you supper).

Flowers should be a reward tool for good behaviour.

If a woman lets you fvck her hard and then cook breakfast for you, bring her flowers the following day and hint to her that its due to what she did for you.

Reinforce good behaviour with flowers.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Good God, just get her some flowers man.


You want to make her happy and look like a "DJ" at the same time?

Go buy a 5 dollar gift certificate to subway, tell her you found it on the street. Watch her face drop. Say I'm just screwing with you" and give her the flowers a few minutes later.

You get to watch her emotions run wild at your "unpredictability" and you get to keep what you think is control.


Done and done.


And to the original poster, what would you think of your girlfriend if she went to counsel of her peers and asked "my boyfriend has been bugging me for a BJ. Should I give him one? bla bla bla"

You two should be doing things to WANT to please each other, not to keep a tally of sh!t you expect in return.

 

[KarmaSutra]

You buy her flowers because it's what she says she wants, where the fvck will it end?

"Hmmm? He bought me flowers and I didn't have to do a damned thing. I wonder what else he'll get me just by nagging?"

This is what she's thinking. Niceties are given to show her you appreciate her. She has to do something worth appreciating first.

 

[Jitterbug]

Never give in to blackmail!

I don't recall ever seeing my dad buying my mum flowers in the 35 years they've been together, although that apparently has happened on a handful of occasions, which mum recalls in vivid details. She always complains about the lack of flowers, and Dad says he doesn't do it so she has something trivial to complain about.

Make of that what you will.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Jesus Christ...


dude, if she's shown signs of being a manipulative b!tch and always wanting and wanting from you, then don't give her flowers.

If she's been good to you, you've been good to her and she request something from you that she would like, that's not going to take a chunk out of your budget then what's the big deal?

"Where does it end"? It ends where YOU want it to end, not when SHE wants it to end.


The point is, no one here really knows her character and no one here certainly knows if she deserves it or not - only YOU do. Watch her actions and listen to your gut. I say if she hardly ask for sh!t and all she wants is flowers, why not?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear All,
For Cris'sake are flowers so expensive in the "Land of the free,home of the brave"?

 

[samspade]

You've already bought gifts for her birthday. Tell her you've heard her request for flowers and promise to buy them, but at a later date when she isn't expecting them so she truly appreciates it. Then follow through at a later date.

One thing about getting gifts for a girlfriend - do it spontaneously but not frequently, and keep it simple.

Every once in a while, on my way home from work I pick up a couple of cupcakes from a bakery that my wife loves - they send her over the moon, these cupcakes.

That's $3-4 out of my pocket. And you know what? She reacts like I just gave her the Hope diamond. It's the thought - and the spontaneity - that count.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

You've already bought gifts for her birthday. Tell her you've heard her request for flowers and promise to buy them, but at a later date when she isn't expecting them so she truly appreciates it. Then follow through at a later date.

One thing about getting gifts for a girlfriend - do it spontaneously but not frequently, and keep it simple.

Every once in a while, on my way home from work I pick up a couple of cupcakes from a bakery that my wife loves - they send her over the moon, these cupcakes.

That's $3-4 out of my pocket. And you know what? She reacts like I just gave her the Hope diamond. It's the thought - and the spontaneity - that count.

Exactly! That's what your girlfriend is looking for. Not "I want my man to give me everything I want." She expecting excitement...give it to her when her guard is down! lol

 

[scrouds]

Nagging is a serious problem. Get her to stop that.

1) buy flowers
2) soak flowers in gasoline
3) light flowers on fire
4) hand her flowers
5) Tell her if she ever nags you again, you guys are through and to enjoy her flowers.

A more moderate approach might do better, but get the message across: "Nagging is not allowed"