I come across as a highly intellectual/geek type even tho I'm 6'3'', 220 pounds, and in a good shape. I wear glasses and have no dressing sense. I'm 31 years old. I usually can attract and score with intellectual & career driven girls of decent looks who are looking for long-term relationships. The problem is I started being into really hot clubbing type of chicks, with whom I don't have that much in common from any perspective... I approached a bunch of them and they seem responsive to me, but the regular chit-chat that works with intellectual chicks doesn't work with them... In fact, I think I don't have any s**t to talk to them about, but I also doubt anyone has. So, I figured out the only way to do these chicks is to become a highly sexual beings like they are so that opposite sex sees you just as a sexual object. So, how do we guys go about this? It's way more than just looks I guess. Also, what do you talk about with these girls? I need some topics and ways to stay away from what I do, where I live, and other personal things. Thanks.
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becoming super sexually attractive
- Thread starter david2006
- Start date
edmond
Senior Don Juan
Just by becoming, "a highly sexual beings," will not change anything, if you do not look, dress, think and talk like them.
I'm particularly interested in how to talk like them since it seems to be my biggest turnoff for this type of chicks. I can get them for example to dance with me, touch and stuff, but when we start talking there's just that huge difference that it becomes pretty much turnoff for both of us... And they *love* asking me what I f**king do for living, from which point on, everything goes downstream... Software development does't seem to be popular among hot clubbing chicks ;-).edmond said:
As for dressing, I'm pretty much always in some GAP jeans (those fashionable ones), shirt, and black shoes... I also have aqua di gio cologne that I use sometimes when I go clubbing
.Actually, I think talking probably has the same effect on who my buddies are. Most of them are geeks too, and they don't even bother going clubs, so most often I go by myself...
Any tips?
edmond
Senior Don Juan
Why don't you tell a white lie and say that you work as something else, women are always lying. Or you can take up a interesting hobbies and that will give you something better to talk about than boring work.
Heh, not really. For clubbing chicks you MUST develop a fashion sense. If you're not balding, get that hair done up nicely.
Stop taking those questions seriously.
"What do you do for a living?"
"Can you keep a secret?"
"Yeah"
"So can I."
Yeah, you're probably right... I guess that's why chicks so hot in clubs, all dressed up and with makeup and stuff... I guess seeing the same chick on the street with tied up hair and in jeans cuts down at least 50% of attraction...
That's a good one
.David,
I'm in a similar boat as yourself spec-wise, though I'm currently in a LTR with one of those smart, beautiful chicks. It took a while, but I found that rare combination.
From experience, I'd say the hot chicks are simply not interested in intellectual guys. They've never needed to build any intellectual stature of their own, so they can't relate. To put it bluntly, they're usually dumb.
If you want to score with them, drop any interest in conversation and focus exclusively on sex. I find that happens pretty easily if I'm plastered. And if you want fashion tips, just look at the other guys in the club.
If you want the smart, hot chicks, you probably won't find them in clubs... you'll find them where the smarter, less attractive chicks are. This type of girl usually blossomed late physically, and so still identifies herself as merely decent looking.
good luck, man
I'm in a similar boat as yourself spec-wise, though I'm currently in a LTR with one of those smart, beautiful chicks. It took a while, but I found that rare combination.
From experience, I'd say the hot chicks are simply not interested in intellectual guys. They've never needed to build any intellectual stature of their own, so they can't relate. To put it bluntly, they're usually dumb.
If you want to score with them, drop any interest in conversation and focus exclusively on sex. I find that happens pretty easily if I'm plastered. And if you want fashion tips, just look at the other guys in the club.
If you want the smart, hot chicks, you probably won't find them in clubs... you'll find them where the smarter, less attractive chicks are. This type of girl usually blossomed late physically, and so still identifies herself as merely decent looking.
good luck, man
The more I read this site, the more I realize why we're all here... because there's such a flawed perception of attraction we had set for ourselves. It has to be reprogrammed. I was searching for the dmv point system the other day in google and read this:
When I read that quote, I instantly thought to myself, "no I don't. I don't want to score points with the date." I realized how AFC this was. This is the mentality I used to have and the mentality so many other guys have. My mindset in regard to girls only changed recently and it was only until then that I've seen a lot more success. Whenever I go on a date now, I am more interested in finding out whether this girl fits my life. I qualify her naturally and flirt naturally with her if she is fitting well. I look at her from the point of view that she has to show me what she has to offer. If she is not fitting well, she senses my lack of interest and automatically tries to qualify herself to me if she is attracted. I can say that I have not gone on a date in the past 6 months in which I was looking to "score points." It has been the complete opposite.
You're looking to do the same thing. "Becoming super sexually attractive." It's really simple. You make yourself attractive to yourself first. Please yourself first. Make your life interesting for yourself first. And when you are making the moves, you're not thinking anymore, "when/how to initiate kino... am I doing this right?" You're just going for whatever the hell pleases you. And if you are compatible, your girl will get turned on as well from your natural desires.
You're not looking to become super sexually attractive to the other person. You're looking to feel good about and be attractive to yourself and find out if the OTHER person turns YOU on rather than if YOU are turning HER on.
http://www.dmv.org/ut-utah/point-system.php
When I read that quote, I instantly thought to myself, "no I don't. I don't want to score points with the date." I realized how AFC this was. This is the mentality I used to have and the mentality so many other guys have. My mindset in regard to girls only changed recently and it was only until then that I've seen a lot more success. Whenever I go on a date now, I am more interested in finding out whether this girl fits my life. I qualify her naturally and flirt naturally with her if she is fitting well. I look at her from the point of view that she has to show me what she has to offer. If she is not fitting well, she senses my lack of interest and automatically tries to qualify herself to me if she is attracted. I can say that I have not gone on a date in the past 6 months in which I was looking to "score points." It has been the complete opposite.
You're looking to do the same thing. "Becoming super sexually attractive." It's really simple. You make yourself attractive to yourself first. Please yourself first. Make your life interesting for yourself first. And when you are making the moves, you're not thinking anymore, "when/how to initiate kino... am I doing this right?" You're just going for whatever the hell pleases you. And if you are compatible, your girl will get turned on as well from your natural desires.
You're not looking to become super sexually attractive to the other person. You're looking to feel good about and be attractive to yourself and find out if the OTHER person turns YOU on rather than if YOU are turning HER on.
Great comment!blueguy said:
To me, it can be simplified to anxiety from inexperience.
When you're just beginning to really interact with women (like on dates), this is a huge hurdle. It seems 90% of the guys on this site are social neophytes. It's admirable that they try every strategy possible to get over that wall.
What seems nearly impossible though, is getting a virgin to focus on himself, rather than sex. Ironically, the easiest way to get pvssy is to aim for something else.
edmond
Senior Don Juan
" if you want fashion tips, just look at the other guys in the club."
If you want fashion tips certainly DO NOT look around you, as you will look like a clone in the nightclub. Find out what look good for YOU, and stand above the crowd.
If you want fashion tips certainly DO NOT look around you, as you will look like a clone in the nightclub. Find out what look good for YOU, and stand above the crowd.
Thanks all for the responses. I'll do following:
1. Dress up (gotta learn how to do that crap).
2. Be playful when it comes to serious questions, that is avoid them & turn them into sexy talk or talk about her.
3. To balance (2) in order not to come across as obnoxious, be serious when it comes to irrelevant convos about her.
4. Kino while at (3).
1. Dress up (gotta learn how to do that crap).
2. Be playful when it comes to serious questions, that is avoid them & turn them into sexy talk or talk about her.
3. To balance (2) in order not to come across as obnoxious, be serious when it comes to irrelevant convos about her.
4. Kino while at (3).
edmond
Senior Don Juan
If the girls at the Clubs are not interested in you, its their loss.
Having worked as a bouncer for many years, I would advice you to keep away from these girls who are on the Club Scene, unless you are into **** teasing coke heads.
Having worked as a bouncer for many years, I would advice you to keep away from these girls who are on the Club Scene, unless you are into **** teasing coke heads.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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As far as looks go, go to Men's Wearhouse and ask one of the salespeople to hook you up with some smart-casual stuff that you can wear to nightlife scenes. They know what to do. That's what I did when I went to Vegas. If that doesn't work out, a shirt and tie doesn't work that bad in a club...makes you look important. If you've got big nerdy box-frame glasses, trade 'em up for something sleeker, or get contacts. Also, how's your hair? Typical comb-over? Try getting it cut different...spiking it or something. Wear a cologne.
Got a little sister/female cousin? Ask them for tips...they know.
As for sexuality...that's projected by your actions. Are you horny for girls? Don't try to hide it. Just walk around, talk to girls, look them in the eye, put your arm around their waist or shoulders innocently, grind on 'em on the dance floor. Honestly...treat them like you already KNOW you're going to be f*cking them tonight. REALLY feel that mentality, to the point where you're aroused if necessary. Women pick up that kind of vibe and react naturally to it. If you're even halfway attractive and know what you want, you'll get there.
Got a little sister/female cousin? Ask them for tips...they know.
As for sexuality...that's projected by your actions. Are you horny for girls? Don't try to hide it. Just walk around, talk to girls, look them in the eye, put your arm around their waist or shoulders innocently, grind on 'em on the dance floor. Honestly...treat them like you already KNOW you're going to be f*cking them tonight. REALLY feel that mentality, to the point where you're aroused if necessary. Women pick up that kind of vibe and react naturally to it. If you're even halfway attractive and know what you want, you'll get there.
but that's who he is into, and as we all know, attraction is not a choiceedmond said:
based on your post, you are "getting your foot in the door," so your looks are not a problem.
I see 2 issues. #1 is the conversation you mention having problems with. You are so used to having linear, logical conversations that you cannot break from this habit. You need to dumb it down and keep everything simple. Basically you have to have a filter, and anything that is potentially boring must not be said. Stand there and say nothing if you have to, but don't say anything boring whatever you do.
Secondly, you are looking for clear IOI's. The hotter the girl, the less IOI's you will get, and the more subtle they are. I recommend ignoring this althogether and only looking for one IOI: is she still interacting with me, or has she left? As long as she maintains contact you plow ahead.
Then as quickly as is feasable, attempt to extract her from the club. Get her alone and go for it. Don't be concerned with the outcome. Make her say no. Don't give up until she says no and/or leaves.
I can't help you with specific tactics, but imo that needs to be your overall philosophy.
blueguy said:
#1. Listen to this guy [If it's the only thing you do, he's talking FOUNDATION INNER GAME]
#2. I can relate to where u'r coming from, having made a similar transition myself
#3. Get a job part-time as a bartender or whatever in the club scene, make the GIRL seem like she's more of an outsider than you. Cos you f%cking work THERE.
#.4. Work Out - Start going to the gym and KEEP GOING.
kingwilliam
Senior Don Juan
Maybe you need to get yourself a wingman, or a group of cool guys to hang with at the clubs. This will give you something to do while you sharpen your game. Once you get the fashion thing down, and develop some chit chat skills you can go in for the solo hunt again.
And YES, Blueguy is exactly right to the tee
And YES, Blueguy is exactly right to the tee
Marcopolo
Senior Don Juan
I will probably get alot of heat for what I am about to say here, but Why would you want to go out with women who are incompatible with you anyway? Sure they may look pretty, but if you have nothing in common even if it does happen so what? Intelligence is independent of looks. There are smart gorgeous women and their are stupid ugly women.
You have a totally different set of values, experience, and frame of mind then these women have or are used to. With effort you could probably get somewhere but you would have to quit being yourself to do it, which makes it ten times more difficult. I think that bimbo women have difficulty relating to intellectual men in the same way that some men are put off by intellectual women.
I say this based on my own experience- when I was younger I had difficulty with women because I would go to these places with friends. Looking back I think the basic problem is that I did not have much in common with these women. Once you find women who you have something in common with, and who you are intellectually and socially compatible with, then things will click for you. And yes, these women have as much of a chance of being hot as the ones at the club do, they may just be more subtle about it.
I really don't think there is such a thing as a universal Don Juan. Some men are good with one type of women, while other men do better with a different type. It is true that some things are universally attractive and other things are not. No woman wants a passive wuss or an AFC for a boyfriend, that is universal. That being said, there is no single technique for getting every woman. Make the best of what you do have and use it to your advantage, there are all kinds of women just like there are all kinds of men.
You have a totally different set of values, experience, and frame of mind then these women have or are used to. With effort you could probably get somewhere but you would have to quit being yourself to do it, which makes it ten times more difficult. I think that bimbo women have difficulty relating to intellectual men in the same way that some men are put off by intellectual women.
I say this based on my own experience- when I was younger I had difficulty with women because I would go to these places with friends. Looking back I think the basic problem is that I did not have much in common with these women. Once you find women who you have something in common with, and who you are intellectually and socially compatible with, then things will click for you. And yes, these women have as much of a chance of being hot as the ones at the club do, they may just be more subtle about it.
I really don't think there is such a thing as a universal Don Juan. Some men are good with one type of women, while other men do better with a different type. It is true that some things are universally attractive and other things are not. No woman wants a passive wuss or an AFC for a boyfriend, that is universal. That being said, there is no single technique for getting every woman. Make the best of what you do have and use it to your advantage, there are all kinds of women just like there are all kinds of men.
SoCalMike
Senior Don Juan
priceless. this is 100% correct my friend.Marcopolo said:
but this guy wants to bang a club bimbo. my advice to him is go for it.
orignal poster: you will realize in the end that it's not worth the hassle. these women are stupid, annoying, and often druggies. and the sex isn't even that good in the end. why? because they're selfish too, and it translates into "please me in bed who gives a **** about you". i know you won't believe me, but when you finally nail one you will see.
btw, i too am a software engineer and did exactly what you're trying to do: i lowered my intellectual status down to the level of the club bimbo, and put on an act. and it did work sometimes. i did bang a couple of these broads but i can tell you it was not as awesome as you think. even though you may be good at faking you're someone you're not, the true you will eventually come out and the whole experience will leave a bad taste in your mouth.
then i realized exactly what marcopolo said: there are hot women on your level. it's just that you usually don't find them at clubs. i started a new job about a year ago, and it's a large company with many young just out of school engineers. i have never seen so many hot girls at a tech company before! it's amazing. there are at least 10 girls here who could easily hold their own at any club, and they all are intelligent with degrees in computer science, EE, and so on.
TooColdUlrick
Master Don Juan
after you have fukked 5-10 bimbo clubbing chicks you slowly (or not so slowly) realize it is not all that it is cracked up to be. most aren't even good in bed...they don't have to be, right?
but go for it. if you are smart, it's actually a big advantage when you dumb yourself down in the right way. spread yourself around...fukk with them...tease them...and most importantly, liquor them up.
fashion, style, and partying is the center of these chicks' universe. at 6'3/220 you already have the stature of alpha male. play it to the nines with your dress, but be unique. be impeccably groomed in every way and smelling good. wear a bad ass, really shiny watch. these chicks love shiny things.
if they ask what you do, tell them you're in Marketing.
when you land one (or two, three), take charge and make sure you fukk her brains out any which way you can. why? you just might be fukking some of her friends too, at some future point. the fact is, a lot of these chicks have no problem "sharing" you. 80-20 Rule...20 percent of the guys are fukking 80 percent of the hot chicks on the club scene.
but go for it. if you are smart, it's actually a big advantage when you dumb yourself down in the right way. spread yourself around...fukk with them...tease them...and most importantly, liquor them up.
fashion, style, and partying is the center of these chicks' universe. at 6'3/220 you already have the stature of alpha male. play it to the nines with your dress, but be unique. be impeccably groomed in every way and smelling good. wear a bad ass, really shiny watch. these chicks love shiny things.
if they ask what you do, tell them you're in Marketing.
when you land one (or two, three), take charge and make sure you fukk her brains out any which way you can. why? you just might be fukking some of her friends too, at some future point. the fact is, a lot of these chicks have no problem "sharing" you. 80-20 Rule...20 percent of the guys are fukking 80 percent of the hot chicks on the club scene.