Señor Fingers
Master Don Juan
W E A P O N S . O F . M A S S . S E D U C T I O N >> P A R T . 8 . O F . 1 5
Click the link ^^^ for the Table of Contents.
"Becoming Magnetic"
How do you attract someone? I mean there is obvious physical attraction, but we all know looks aren't everything. I have met some ugly dudes who are full-blown pimps with the ladies. I have also met some beautiful girls who, despite their gorgeousness, are decidedly unattractive or lacking in personality. So what REALLY makes a person attractive on a deep level? Simple really.
Attraction = The lure of Value
Women will either value your presence, or you are phased out in the shadow of someone who presents more value to them. So what constitutes this elusive value we strive for?
I think about the most attractive people I know and they possess the following characteristics:
Socially Adjusted >> Comfortable talking and relating to anyone. Make friends easily.
Confident >> Believe in themselves. Healthy self-esteem. (not to be confused with arrogance)
Genuine >> Completely sincere and direct
Playful >> Fun-loving and Flirtatious.
Creative >> Filled with imagination and great ideas
Talented >> Naturally blessed with impressive skills
Passionate >> Emotionally alive and uninhibited.
Intuitive >> Able to read situations and people with ease.
Ambitious >> Driven and hardworking in their pursuit of goals and dreams
Laidback >> Free from unnecessary stress and drama
Witty >> Able to provoke laughter and thought with their mental agility.
Positive >> Gives off good vibes. No complaints or negative gossiping.
Unpredictable >> Interesting, original & stimulating.
If I met a woman who was not all that great looking, but had just half of the above qualities, I would find her to be very attractive. She could probably seduce me very easily in fact. Up to a certain point of course. I am a guy after all and we do place a higher priority on the physical. For instance, I could meet a women who was passionate, intelligent, and all that jazz, but if she had a flat ass I would have to say "pass!"
This is not to say that women have no physical standards, of course they do. But these standards are a bit more flexible than ours because they are more aroused by personalities, characters and the EMOTIONS you can give them. Imagine what effect the above qualities has on them.
That's right. Wet panties.
As you can see, this requires some work on your part. You can say all the smoothest lines that you have ever copied and pasted from your browser, but the bottom line is that if you don't have an interesting personality to back them up, they will fall flat!
On the other hand, I know tons of interesting, witty, talented guys who are terrible with women!
So the real question is how do we CONVEY these magnetic characteristics? This is not a simple question so fasten your seatbelts, cuz this is one beast of a post!
I. SOCIAL PROOF
Show her you are socially adept
MILD PROOF
So simple. Interact in a fun, positive fashion with people around her and once she sees others enjoying your company, she'll be thinkin..."Hmm, who is THIS?" Why? Because social proof is RARE. 90% of guys you will run into on your adventures are total AFC duds. Too scared to initiate convos with strangers, much less HBs. The fact that you confidently approach everybody sets you apart and creates an intrigue about you. It also disarms her a little when you speak to her. She can't immediately frame you as trying to pick her up because you are not giving her special treatment.
MEDIUM PROOF
Show up on the scene and greet everyone you meet as if you are running the show. Work the room as soon as you step into the door. Walk around giving people high fives. Open up a group and get them to laugh and then do a TakeAway as you shift your attention to another group. Always leave them wanting more of you! Keep circulating around the room this way and soon people will approach YOU.
When dealing with groups, one important thing to remember is to make eye contact with everyone in the group as you speak. Keep shifting your gaze so that you don't subconsciously exclude anyone. Master this and in time you will be able to merge different groups together with your conversations. Introduce someone you just met to another new friend you just made. Realize that most people are bored senseless and are dying for someone interesting like you to show up and brighten their lives. Be the axis around which the scene revolves, the life of the party!
SPICY PROOF
See that fly hottie over there? Uh-oh..she's with friends and two of them are guys! One of them is probably her boyfriend so maybe you should not approach. BULLSHYT!!! Go over there and chat up the guys, find out how everyone knows each other. This is how you discover who is dating who. Chat up everyone EXCEPT your target. Once you get a few laughs and you know they are digging you, go in for the kill and say, "I'm sorry I have been alienating your friend here, is it cool if I talk to her for a little while? Great!" (credit: Mystery) Take her hand and lead her someplace more isolated as you bust on her for having friends who would let her run off with a total stranger, then escalate the game.
THERMONUCLEAR PROOF!
Show other women a good time around her. In this way you capitalize on the competitive nature of da ladies. You can pickup chicks right in front of her, or if you are still a bit timid in this area, I would suggest the use of a pivot.
What's a pivot? Glad you asked
A pivot is a platonic female friend, preferably an attractive one who will roll with you to clubs/bars/etc and help you pick up chicks. Often times I actually prefer pivots to wing men. Showing up to a party with a couple of hot ladies on your arm always sets the right tone. This is why I don't get upset when I get LJBFed. These girls are the best and prove to be great fun if you don't take their rejection personally. I have even had a couple of my these "friends" start to catch feelings for me after they saw me hook up with a few hotties. A testament to the power of female jealousy!
II. PLAYFUL KINO
Getting in touch with your inner child.
We covered the basic principles of kino in the Destroying Social Phobias post. By this point you should already be touching girls right from the start of your interactions. But let us not forget the power of PLAY. Tease her. Poke her. Throw paperclips at her head and when she looks your way, whistle like it wasn't you. Twirl her around and dip her ballroom dance style. Tickle her. Steal something from her and get her to wrestle you for it. Give her a piggy-back ride and run at full speed while humming the Jedi theme to Star Wars! HAVE FUN WITH HER! We always hear how women love to be swept off their feet, but few of us have the intuition to take this literally. It's okay to smile and be a goof sometimes!
III. CIALDINI'S SCARCITY PRINCIPLE
Everyone wants what they can't have.
Show her the best time she's ever had and then VANISH. Don't sit there by the phone counting the days you should or should not call her back. Be busy and ambitious enough in your life that you don't have time to call her the next day. Have other prospects in your life. Even if you are looking for something long term, play the field so you get to pick from the best of the best. Weed out the ones that don't reciprocate your communication. Remember, she has to meet you halfway! Let her ass call YOU for a change!
My general rule is if I call a girl more than 2 or 3 times and she doesn't try to contact me once, it's a wrap! Why waste time on a flake? I got better things to do, finer girls to meet! The girls that do show interest go nuts when I finally do give them some attention because I make sure that:
1. I make them laugh and have a good time.
2. I end my interactions with them on a high note and leave them wanting more.
3. I am not readily available at all times so they actually get a chance to miss me.
A quote from Cialdini himself:
The joy is not in experiencing a scarce commodity but in possessing it.
IV. DEMONSTRATING EXCELLENCE
Draw people to you by displaying talent, passion and ambition.
This is how rock stars get laid. They put on a great show and everyone in the room is feeling them. They display their talents and are instantly social proofed by a crowd of people. It's no surprise that these guys get mobbed by women. I know what you're thinking, and sure, it helps to be rich and famous. But I believe that $$$ has little to do with it. I see the same phenomenon happen in clubs all the time with DJs and their groupies. And these guys are not rich!
Do something great or entertaining in public and you generate instant value.
You don't have to be a virtuoso either. The key is to have the ability to do something impressive...anything! Can you sketch? Do bicycle stunts? Juggle? Tie cherry stems into knots with your tongue? Nothing? Damn son, it looks like you will just have to rely on your wits then! Which brings us to...
Click the link ^^^ for the Table of Contents.
"Becoming Magnetic"
How do you attract someone? I mean there is obvious physical attraction, but we all know looks aren't everything. I have met some ugly dudes who are full-blown pimps with the ladies. I have also met some beautiful girls who, despite their gorgeousness, are decidedly unattractive or lacking in personality. So what REALLY makes a person attractive on a deep level? Simple really.
Attraction = The lure of Value
Women will either value your presence, or you are phased out in the shadow of someone who presents more value to them. So what constitutes this elusive value we strive for?
I think about the most attractive people I know and they possess the following characteristics:
Socially Adjusted >> Comfortable talking and relating to anyone. Make friends easily.
Confident >> Believe in themselves. Healthy self-esteem. (not to be confused with arrogance)
Genuine >> Completely sincere and direct
Playful >> Fun-loving and Flirtatious.
Creative >> Filled with imagination and great ideas
Talented >> Naturally blessed with impressive skills
Passionate >> Emotionally alive and uninhibited.
Intuitive >> Able to read situations and people with ease.
Ambitious >> Driven and hardworking in their pursuit of goals and dreams
Laidback >> Free from unnecessary stress and drama
Witty >> Able to provoke laughter and thought with their mental agility.
Positive >> Gives off good vibes. No complaints or negative gossiping.
Unpredictable >> Interesting, original & stimulating.
If I met a woman who was not all that great looking, but had just half of the above qualities, I would find her to be very attractive. She could probably seduce me very easily in fact. Up to a certain point of course. I am a guy after all and we do place a higher priority on the physical. For instance, I could meet a women who was passionate, intelligent, and all that jazz, but if she had a flat ass I would have to say "pass!"
This is not to say that women have no physical standards, of course they do. But these standards are a bit more flexible than ours because they are more aroused by personalities, characters and the EMOTIONS you can give them. Imagine what effect the above qualities has on them.
That's right. Wet panties.
As you can see, this requires some work on your part. You can say all the smoothest lines that you have ever copied and pasted from your browser, but the bottom line is that if you don't have an interesting personality to back them up, they will fall flat!
On the other hand, I know tons of interesting, witty, talented guys who are terrible with women!
So the real question is how do we CONVEY these magnetic characteristics? This is not a simple question so fasten your seatbelts, cuz this is one beast of a post!
I. SOCIAL PROOF
Show her you are socially adept
MILD PROOF
So simple. Interact in a fun, positive fashion with people around her and once she sees others enjoying your company, she'll be thinkin..."Hmm, who is THIS?" Why? Because social proof is RARE. 90% of guys you will run into on your adventures are total AFC duds. Too scared to initiate convos with strangers, much less HBs. The fact that you confidently approach everybody sets you apart and creates an intrigue about you. It also disarms her a little when you speak to her. She can't immediately frame you as trying to pick her up because you are not giving her special treatment.
MEDIUM PROOF
Show up on the scene and greet everyone you meet as if you are running the show. Work the room as soon as you step into the door. Walk around giving people high fives. Open up a group and get them to laugh and then do a TakeAway as you shift your attention to another group. Always leave them wanting more of you! Keep circulating around the room this way and soon people will approach YOU.
When dealing with groups, one important thing to remember is to make eye contact with everyone in the group as you speak. Keep shifting your gaze so that you don't subconsciously exclude anyone. Master this and in time you will be able to merge different groups together with your conversations. Introduce someone you just met to another new friend you just made. Realize that most people are bored senseless and are dying for someone interesting like you to show up and brighten their lives. Be the axis around which the scene revolves, the life of the party!
SPICY PROOF
See that fly hottie over there? Uh-oh..she's with friends and two of them are guys! One of them is probably her boyfriend so maybe you should not approach. BULLSHYT!!! Go over there and chat up the guys, find out how everyone knows each other. This is how you discover who is dating who. Chat up everyone EXCEPT your target. Once you get a few laughs and you know they are digging you, go in for the kill and say, "I'm sorry I have been alienating your friend here, is it cool if I talk to her for a little while? Great!" (credit: Mystery) Take her hand and lead her someplace more isolated as you bust on her for having friends who would let her run off with a total stranger, then escalate the game.
THERMONUCLEAR PROOF!
Show other women a good time around her. In this way you capitalize on the competitive nature of da ladies. You can pickup chicks right in front of her, or if you are still a bit timid in this area, I would suggest the use of a pivot.
What's a pivot? Glad you asked
A pivot is a platonic female friend, preferably an attractive one who will roll with you to clubs/bars/etc and help you pick up chicks. Often times I actually prefer pivots to wing men. Showing up to a party with a couple of hot ladies on your arm always sets the right tone. This is why I don't get upset when I get LJBFed. These girls are the best and prove to be great fun if you don't take their rejection personally. I have even had a couple of my these "friends" start to catch feelings for me after they saw me hook up with a few hotties. A testament to the power of female jealousy!
II. PLAYFUL KINO
Getting in touch with your inner child.
We covered the basic principles of kino in the Destroying Social Phobias post. By this point you should already be touching girls right from the start of your interactions. But let us not forget the power of PLAY. Tease her. Poke her. Throw paperclips at her head and when she looks your way, whistle like it wasn't you. Twirl her around and dip her ballroom dance style. Tickle her. Steal something from her and get her to wrestle you for it. Give her a piggy-back ride and run at full speed while humming the Jedi theme to Star Wars! HAVE FUN WITH HER! We always hear how women love to be swept off their feet, but few of us have the intuition to take this literally. It's okay to smile and be a goof sometimes!
III. CIALDINI'S SCARCITY PRINCIPLE
Everyone wants what they can't have.
Show her the best time she's ever had and then VANISH. Don't sit there by the phone counting the days you should or should not call her back. Be busy and ambitious enough in your life that you don't have time to call her the next day. Have other prospects in your life. Even if you are looking for something long term, play the field so you get to pick from the best of the best. Weed out the ones that don't reciprocate your communication. Remember, she has to meet you halfway! Let her ass call YOU for a change!
My general rule is if I call a girl more than 2 or 3 times and she doesn't try to contact me once, it's a wrap! Why waste time on a flake? I got better things to do, finer girls to meet! The girls that do show interest go nuts when I finally do give them some attention because I make sure that:
1. I make them laugh and have a good time.
2. I end my interactions with them on a high note and leave them wanting more.
3. I am not readily available at all times so they actually get a chance to miss me.
A quote from Cialdini himself:
The joy is not in experiencing a scarce commodity but in possessing it.
IV. DEMONSTRATING EXCELLENCE
Draw people to you by displaying talent, passion and ambition.
This is how rock stars get laid. They put on a great show and everyone in the room is feeling them. They display their talents and are instantly social proofed by a crowd of people. It's no surprise that these guys get mobbed by women. I know what you're thinking, and sure, it helps to be rich and famous. But I believe that $$$ has little to do with it. I see the same phenomenon happen in clubs all the time with DJs and their groupies. And these guys are not rich!
Do something great or entertaining in public and you generate instant value.
You don't have to be a virtuoso either. The key is to have the ability to do something impressive...anything! Can you sketch? Do bicycle stunts? Juggle? Tie cherry stems into knots with your tongue? Nothing? Damn son, it looks like you will just have to rely on your wits then! Which brings us to...
but since you have taken the time to read my endless drivel, I guess you have earned this: