Banging Ex's Friends

[Dgwizdal]

Don Juan Curse?

I'm in the doghouse in my social circle. I got dumped 3 months ago for not committing to a girl I was dating for 9 months. My response to that was "ok - see ya round"

Welp, she hasn't moved on and is still interested while I'm out having a f*ck fest. Word got out that I've been railing one of her friends and it's not lookin pretty. She was supposed to keep her mouth shut as its been going on for a while but she told me she's fallin for me and is embracing the fact that we're an "item" while im beating her off with a stick.

I need to eject gracefully: my ex doesn't deserved to get dragged through the mud and her friend (who is also my friend) is just a FWB that's gone too far. How do I keep things as kosher as possible?

 

[mustfirstregister]

if u were really having a f*ck fest. why would u even come to this place to ask Q? like if you lost both why care? you are having a f*ck fest anyway.

 

[adam225]

Keep railing her. Your ex didn't give you what YOU wanted so that's her problem. Remember this - if it was the other way around she wouldn't care about your feelings. She would most likely get off at the fact you were hurt. If it's ok for her, then it's ok for you.... keep banging it lol.

 

[Bizzle13]

It's always a worry when a FWB starts to emotionally invest in you. Been there a couple of times and while I'm no expert my advice would be continue your f*ck feat elsewhere and see her as little as possible. Don't go out of your way to avoid her but just make yourself less available. Perhaps if she were to find out you were with other girls it may give her some realisation, then again she may spazz out and tell your ex - though, f*ck her, let her find out haha

Keep fighting the good fight bro

 

[Desdinova]

I'm in the doghouse in my social circle.

You shouldn't fvck women in your social circle. You should use your social circle to find new women who are NOT in it.

 

[DragonBlood]

I got dumped 3 months ago for not committing

my ex doesn't deserved to get dragged through the mud [for] a FWB that's gone too far.

She is your ex so her feelings are of no concern to you. Her fault for dumping such a desirable man. Sounds like the FWB is jumping on the fact that you are 'single' and wants to claim you all for her own. Are you sure these two are friends?

 

[Dgwizdal]

if u were really having a f*ck fest. why would u even come to this place to ask Q? like if you lost both why care? you are having a f*ck fest anyway.

Well it's because I have more invested in them than just my c*ck. I've known these chicks for 12+ years and they aren't going anywhere so I cannot just get away with a disappearing act. They have been inadvertently sucked into my Don Juan Vacuum.

I know I shouldn't care about the ex but I didn't get booted because I was a needy, boring, AFC winey B*tch - it was because I didn't give a f*ck and treated her like a disposable 9 month plate and have a bit of regret. Here's the thread on the ex if you're interested...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2085600#post2085600


I feel like banging her friend is a slap in the face eventho I've been FWB on the downlow with this other girl for 3 YEARS and it is completely unrelated. Yes the FWB is good friends with my ex but doesn't give a f*ck. She has decided I'm hers now and proclaimed It to everyone 2 weeks ago and is embracing it to the fullest and I'm more meh. There's no future with her and if I continue down this path its going to destroy our friendship and another girl gets hurt.


On a related note I have had 2 other plates next me for the exact same reasons - so 3 girls in 3 months gone for "Being emotionally unavailable" "Unable to share something special with someone" "uncapable of love" "not wanting the same things out of the relationship as she does" "not caring"

Anyone else have this problem with investing and being emotionally detached by default? I've got attraction nailed but just cant seem to give them the security they need to stay around. I feel as though I'm backsliding and corny if I engage in such things. Inner game problem?

 

[happyDJ]

Well it's because I have more invested in them than just my c*ck. I've known these chicks for 12+ years and they aren't going anywhere so I cannot just get away with a disappearing act. They have been inadvertently sucked into my Don Juan Vacuum.

I know I shouldn't care about the ex but I didn't get booted because I was a needy, boring, AFC winey B*tch - it was because I didn't give a f*ck and treated her like a disposable 9 month plate and have a bit of regret. Here's the thread on the ex if you're interested...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2085600#post2085600


I feel like banging her friend is a slap in the face eventho I've been FWB on the downlow with this other girl for 3 YEARS and it is completely unrelated. Yes the FWB is good friends with my ex but doesn't give a f*ck. She has decided I'm hers now and proclaimed It to everyone 2 weeks ago and is embracing it to the fullest and I'm more meh. There's no future with her and if I continue down this path its going to destroy our friendship and another girl gets hurt.


On a related note I have had 2 other plates next me for the exact same reasons - so 3 girls in 3 months gone for "Being emotionally unavailable" "Unable to share something special with someone" "uncapable of love" "not wanting the same things out of the relationship as she does" "not caring"

Anyone else have this problem with investing and being emotionally detached by default? I've got attraction nailed but just cant seem to give them the security they need to stay around. I feel as though I'm backsliding and corny if I engage in such things. Inner game problem?

They can sense your utter indifference. They'll dump you if you they conquered you completely (AFC) or if you're completely wild.
This is your choice. Do you really want them to keep a longer relationship? Are you aiming for MLTRs? You seem afraid to show even the slightest sign of rendition. You gotta give them something. Keep hot and cold. You don't need to write them a poem or sing them a song.
Basically anything that's unpredictable and just the two of you. You can show them by actions. This can be once or twice a month. A great, subtle thing they notice, is if you show them you know stuff about them, like favorite food, favorite cd, whatever.
Of course, girls with some amount of self-esteem will drop someone who's not there.

But again, what's your problem?
Do you want to know how to keep them longer because you're unable to, or do you want to be able to have those feelings and open up a little?

About your ex. Maybe call her and explain it yourself, whatever it is you want to say? If she's your friend...

How did you not predict the other girl was going to start talking?

 

[Dgwizdal]

I am most likely going to drop a line to my ex when I see her and let her know I'm not a heartless prick and valued what we had. Short, sweet, and outcome independent - just feel like its the right thing to do.

I'm pretty selective when it comes to going down the path of opening up and investing - I guess I'm leary of getting into relationship zone with chicks as I'm 27 and they're lookin to get wifed. TBH - The thought of marriage scares me to death and I am def not ready for all that. Half the time I don't even know if I'm that into them as they seem to mold to fit me in their own ways. I'm the one leading the way so I have nothing to lose.

But you are on the money with the actions instead of words. I will start to do that at a much earlier stage than 8 months from now on with a girl I believe to have proved her worth. Maybe it will feel good to unplug from unplugging and just be.