Bad night at the club..

[Du Work Son]

Quick backround: So there's this girl i've been talking to for about 7-8 months now. we don't hang out a whole lot but we talk online all the time. We talk on the phone but when we do, it's RARE and we talk for a couple hours.

she gives me mixed signals ALL the time and it drives me nuts! random text messages saying "come over later" or "good luck tonite <3" she also says i love you's and when i say i miss her, she says "i miss you too" back. problem with this girl is shes kind of a "myspace wh0re" and TONS of guys are after her all the time.

so anyway, last night she wanted to go to this club with me and she brought a friend with. we get there and by now shes had a couple drinks in her and we're standing around. i walk around for a bit, go to the bathroom and when i come back i see her dancing with another guy. right here i lost it. i know i shouldn't have but i couldn't control myself.

I'm a real passive guy. and i hate confrontation so i was thinking to myself "what would a real man do?" i have ignored things in the past and i should be a man and say something.

so i went up to the guy and tapped him on the shoulder and asked "what the **** do you think u're doing?" he looked real confused/scared and walks away.
so this girl says stuff like why are u geting mad at me dancing with other people blah blah and i said that i drove her here and i find it kinda disrespectful that she would dance with someone else before me. understandable right? i felt like i was being used. so after telling her taht i wanted to dance with her we danced for a couple songs and sat at a booth. she tells me that she needs to have a talk with her friend so i let them go and wait at the booth. they dont come back for about 10-15 minutes so i was looking around the club and i see her dancing with a different dude AGAIN looking like shes really enjoying herself...this time i went up to her and said that i was going home that second. she freaked out and was looking for me a little bit (probably cause we were a hour away from home and there was no way she would be getting home if i didnt take her) so after that we danced for a couple songs again and she just disappeared. i didn't see her dancing but she was talking to alot of different guys and she was just ****ing around. at one point i saw her sitting down at a couch on her cellphone with another dude and he was touching her legs....at this point i decided to say fcuk it and made a couple laps with this guy looking for girls to dance with and i didn't see her for another 30 minutes until she texted me asking where i was. i found her and we left the club at 2:20ish.

the car ride home was quiet. she didn't say a word to me, even when i dropped her off..

her myspace

 

[Scought]

Clubs--places to meet and take girls home. Not a place to BRING them to.

 

[Du Work Son]

well put, that shall not happen again.

 

[dynamicallyidle]

Quick backround: So there's this girl i've been talking to for about 7-8 months now. we don't hang out a whole lot but we talk online all the time. We talk on the phone but when we do, it's RARE and we talk for a couple hours.

she gives me mixed signals ALL the time and it drives me nuts! random text messages saying "come over later" or "good luck tonite <3" she also says i love you's and when i say i miss her, she says "i miss you too" back. problem with this girl is shes kind of a "myspace wh0re" and TONS of guys are after her all the time.

so anyway, last night she wanted to go to this club with me and she brought a friend with. we get there and by now shes had a couple drinks in her and we're standing around. i walk around for a bit, go to the bathroom and when i come back i see her dancing with another guy. right here i lost it. i know i shouldn't have but i couldn't control myself.

I'm a real passive guy. and i hate confrontation so i was thinking to myself "what would a real man do?" i have ignored things in the past and i should be a man and say something.

so i went up to the guy and tapped him on the shoulder and asked "what the **** do you think u're doing?" he looked real confused/scared and walks away.
so this girl says stuff like why are u geting mad at me dancing with other people blah blah and i said that i drove her here and i find it kinda disrespectful that she would dance with someone else before me. understandable right? i felt like i was being used. so after telling her taht i wanted to dance with her we danced for a couple songs and sat at a booth. she tells me that she needs to have a talk with her friend so i let them go and wait at the booth. they dont come back for about 10-15 minutes so i was looking around the club and i see her dancing with a different dude AGAIN looking like shes really enjoying herself...this time i went up to her and said that i was going home that second. she freaked out and was looking for me a little bit (probably cause we were a hour away from home and there was no way she would be getting home if i didnt take her) so after that we danced for a couple songs again and she just disappeared. i didn't see her dancing but she was talking to alot of different guys and she was just ****ing around. at one point i saw her sitting down at a couch on her cellphone with another dude and he was touching her legs....at this point i decided to say fcuk it and made a couple laps with this guy looking for girls to dance with and i didn't see her for another 30 minutes until she texted me asking where i was. i found her and we left the club at 2:20ish.

the car ride home was quiet. she didn't say a word to me, even when i dropped her off..

her myspace

All sorts of problems. I only scanned through your post but here are a few MAJOR problems:

1) You talk to her online a lot.

Don't do this, please.

2) You talk to her on the phone rarely, for HOURS at a time.

OMG please keep your phone convos short. Only to arrange real-life meetings.

3) You ask yourself "What would a real man do?"

Here's the start of an answer: a real man would not ask himself such a question, ever.

 

[Du Work Son]

alright, i agree with you. what should i do now though? should i delete her myspace/phone number/block her aim? i dont want to take it too far but i just want to get away from her for a little bit.

 

[evasive]

I only had to read the first sentence.

So there's this girl i've been talking to for about 7-8 months now. we don't hang out a whole lot but we talk online all the time. We talk on the phone but when we do, it's RARE and we talk for a couple hours.


Can we say FRIENDZONE?

 

[realsmoothie]

friendzone

 

[The Kidd]

yup... friend zone for sure

all those things that you take as IOI's is just how she treats her friends, girls are like that

 

[Du Work Son]

so all those texts mean nothing? during those months i've tried letting her know i was seeing other girls just to see her reaction and she got PISSED. other times i
avoided talking to her for a week or so and she told my friend that she liked me the entire time? he then asked her why she can't just tell me and she responded with an i don't know.

a while ago i also told her i was moving to florida in a week when i really wasn't (well not until the end of the year). and she didn't want me to move and gave me all this crap about how this song reminds her of me and her and i got text messages saying "don't move" and she never wanted to talk about it cause it would upset her.

shes a couple years younger than me so maybe she's just keeping her options open? should i just ignore her until she caves? if she caves?

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

I see this completely differently than these guys do. Basically its not that bad talking to her a bunch on msn or whatever. It does not even matter that you talked to her so little on the phone. Where you ****ed up is when you got super jelious about her dancing with other guys. Too bad you were driving because you could have blamed that all on booze. Your not in the friendzone yet homie. You just ****ed up hard.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

What should you do? You should approach this situation as a learning experience. Deal with it on your own as you see fit and if you fail you learn from your mistakes.

 

[TONYMONTANA523]

What you should have done is picked up on some random chicks. And by the way I love bringing girls to the club alcohol, grinding, plus you get to see what kind of chick you got.

 

[Du Work Son]

I see this completely differently than these guys do. Basically its not that bad talking to her a bunch on msn or whatever. It does not even matter that you talked to her so little on the phone. Where you ****ed up is when you got super jelious about her dancing with other guys. Too bad you were driving because you could have blamed that all on booze. Your not in the friendzone yet homie. You just ****ed up hard.

oh yeah im VERY aware lol i basically wanted to kick myself after that. i totally let my emotions overpower logic and after reading the bible many times i know thats something i SHOULDN'T have done.

i've decided to block her on aim/ignore texts at least a couple weeks so i can regain control of myself and give her some space.

me and her always had this push pull shyt going on.

this is a new username i registered because a long time ago she found a post on here with a conversation we had! she shoved that in my face later on...:nervous:

lmfao

 

[MagicPunt]

What should you do?

Acknowledge that you're in the friend zone and stop trying to get out of it.

Don't make the mistake alot of guys make by blocking her on aim (honestly bro do you have legit meaningful conversations on aim? its such a "youre not worthy of an actual phone call, so im relegating you to texts or ims").

Just let her call you a few times and wonder why you're not answering, most likely youll realize she offers you nothing or if she introduces you to friends than use her for that and realize she was using you for car rides etc...