Bad Movement ! (Posture or something)

[ChaoticGamer]

Hello There !

I've been away for a long time, and even though some attitudes are now hard-wired in my brain, I tend to fail from time to time in things that I'd qualify as basics.

I just have one Question, but I need to describe the scenario first.
I was with a girl, who happens to have just recently confessed her love for me, We started dating, and I let emotions get in the way, probably a little too hard, I got romantic and stuff, and I think I ended up acting like a wimp, needy, etc.

Anyways, my particular question is about something that happened during a date, we were at a cafe, sitting in different chairs, they were large chairs and very uncomfortable with huge arm-resting-places (dunno how else to call them) and I was obviously constantly leaning towards her for a kiss, for a time it was OK, BUT
When I lift myself up to overcome the height of the arm-resting-thingy by placing one leg under my buttocks, SHE Freaked OUT !
Told me: "DON'T DO THAT !" (precisely when I was "over her"(or physically above-her))
To reiterate, I did it so that we could be more comfortable while trying to kiss, But it was even Obvious to me that it came as needy.

I wanted desperately to know what goes on in the mind of a girl when she reacts like this. It appeared to be a Huge Mistake

I'd like to have some feedback about this particular case. How should I act in a situation like that?

Have a nice Day!

CG

 

[kraytkiller]

She freaked out when you put a leg under yourself for leverage? It was YOUR leg, right?... I don't understand why this would matter at all. And I don't think if she saw that as acting needy it would warrant such a seemingly violent verbal reaction.

Maybe she has a leg-folding phobia.

 

[ChaoticGamer]

It's so weird coming from her. Such a calm, down to earth girl. It wasn't verbally aggressive I must add. She raised her voice but in a peaceful tone, just kinda pointed out that she didn't want me to do it using her eyes, and saying... "Don't....do.... that"; It was weird nonetheless.

 

[Warrior74]

Did you look feminine when you did it?

 

[ChaoticGamer]

Hmmmmmm,

dunno..... You know what, It is Possible.

Why?

(Maybe it's exactly as you have pictured it; I'm sorry for it if that's the case)

Anyways, I'd like to read your point on this.

Thank you.

 

[Warrior74]

Do you need to ask why?

Because she doesn't want to kiss some man who's looking all femmed out while he's trying to kiss her.

 

[ChaoticGamer]

I realize all the Huge mistakes I made lately. I wish these feelings didn't make me do such weird things.

Even though it's a hell of an obvious question...

Why wouldn't she want to witness that? I mean... What happens in her mind and to her emotions?

Now that all the damage has been done, I guess it's good for me to learn something new, and prevent this from happening again, that's all.

Thanks Warrior.

 

[Luveno]

You escalated too quickly.

I always go for the kiss at the end of the date. Women have been trained in the Western world to expect the kiss at the end of the date. Doing so plants a seed of debonair masculinity in their minds.

Making out at a bar is not the right thing to do. If she rejects your advances, as she did in this case, then the remainder of the date will be awkward and for good reason - its going nowhere!

However, to get such a defensive reaction for something so innocent raises red-flags as to her attraction to you, or your ability to read people.

Here's some advice:

It is very important to read the body language of the girl in front of you. What she says is far less important than what she does. If she's sitting there with her legs crossed and her hands folded, its because she has misgivings about being there. That's when it's your turn to sit the exact same way. Mirror her actions and she will feel more comfortable, eventually letting her guard down. I have no idea why this works, but it does.

Furthermore, always look her in the eye, and never be the first to break eye contact. On my last date, there was this one moment when both of us stopped talking and looked each other in the eye. I kept the stare, and she looked away first. It was kind of intense, really - there is a vibe that you feel that is almost like sex. Needless to say, the night ended well.

 

[ChaoticGamer]

Well,

I don't know what to say, I only know that it was a case to analyze because, everything was going real fine. We were kissing, and then all of the sudden she did this. However, I do understand that my behavior was inappropriate, and that my abilities and game are diminished, and in that sense I must improve.

I liked your point of view, and I believe that I'll have to look into mirroring a lot, that's because at a later date, she did mention that she didn't enjoy the place she was at. (too many people)

Thank you very much. It's time to get back in the game. Great advice.
Have a nice Day

CG