Back for another try..Still Confused as ever

[The Damned]

Hey guys,
As some of you know Ive never had much success with women or life in general, I tried to take some of your advice on board and read this forum regularly for tips and hints.
However at the time nothing really worked for me and I was having a bad time in life with various setbacks going on around me.
I had/have(not sure which yet) given up hope altogether of dating/relationships in my life, but before christmas I got a couple of friendly comments about my so called good looks, I dont think im good looking but sometimes older people usually men(straight men) mention it and sometimes older women and they are usually surprised when I tell them about my lack of success.
Over last year I have become more confident in myself and vowed for things to finally change this year for me, however 2009 looks to be the same and women dont even give me a glance(which shows their lack of interest in me).
Im confused over whats next for me, if women were interested surely they would give out signs or pay more attention to me surely?
Im wondering where my next step is and how I can change things, this to be honest is probably my weakest point in life, If I could sort this I know I would be a better person and develop complete confidence in myself.

Btw: I should make it clear that im considering giving this another go

 

[JDA70]

Well if your not getting any IOI's then there is a problem with your
outer game for starters.

How serious about this are you?
DO you really want to change?

 

[Dannyrt34]

Make sure you feel your best when you go out. Since you seem to be more focused on your outer game (getting 'looks' from the ladies) I'll share some of my experience with that.

For the past few months I've been going out and basically didn't do much with my appearance, I do work out alot, but really didn't dress too well. I usually wore my favorite band t-shirts (Foo-fighters haha) a pair of jeans and my pumas. I never really got much attention from the girls either, and since I'm not the king of cold approaches, I've been haviing a hard time without getting any IOI's first.

Now 2 weeks ago, I decided it's time to update my wardrobe. After finishing work one day (I work at american eagle). I decided I'm going to make some investments in some good clothing, and actually try to match items together and put together a few decent outfits.

I bought a blue track jacket, a nicer pair of ripped up jeans, a baseball cap that matches the track jacket, a polo shirt to layer underneath, a shell necklace, and just stuck with my pumas (I love them too much).

Anyway, I went out to the bar with my new outfit, and was surprised of the difference. I was beating them girls off of me with a stick! And my confidence was through the roof.

So in conclusion, if your looking to improve the IOI's you get when your out, just put some effort into looking your best. If you need help on clothing ideas, let me know, I work at the clothing store and am pretty much trained how to match and layer clothes.

Just keep in mind that even with the IOI's you get, you may even get girls approaching you, but you still need to have the inner game to keep that interest.

 

[The Damned]

Well if your not getting any IOI's then there is a problem with your
outer game for starters.

How serious about this are you?
DO you really want to change?

First of all thanks for the response guys
Yeah I do wanna change like but Ive got doubts over whether it can work.
I mean this could just be the way my life is meant to be because for some of my friends and family they have found their partners through social events, every social event ive been to I havent even come close to anything like that.
Regarding my appearance, Ill let you into a bit of what Im like, I workout a lot and im reasonably tall(about 6'2), I dont really wear expensive designer gear but friends say I dress quite nice, and im always keeping myself clean.
The only thing id say that looks unkept on me is my hair because when it grows a certain length being curly and wirey it always looks untidy once the wind hits it, and I have very thick facial hair.
Socially people tend to get along with me, and in day to day life I can get by quite easily with work and exams etc but its just with women my life is a huge failure.
My main doubt is now is at my mid 20's it could be too late, and besides women will think im too old to be attractive and I cant make up for lost time.

 

[Warrior74]

LOL. Too old? I'm 34 and doing better with women now than ever. I'm still not banging a ton of hot super model ass. But then again, I don't want a ton. Just two girls in my life.

If you have posters on here you trust. Send them a picture of you in your best DJ clothing. What you would wear out when you want to pull women and have them critique your look.

If you aren't doing the following start now....

1. exercise
2. dress your best everyday
3. smell good and well groomed
4. Write down your life goals and passions. Start persuing them.
5. Start enjoying your hobbies
6. Hang out with your friends.
7. Do positive affirmations, meditation or prayer (which ever one you are into).
8. Do some volunteer work, or work for a cause to give back.

What you need to do first and formost is develop a life that you love. With friends and things you like to do. Forget about women for a quick minute or two. Just focus on you. But look good, when you look good and work out it makes you feel better about yourself. When you do all of these it boosts your self esteem. You need to give your brain a rest from women for a while. Then slowly start focusing on women again. I'm getting ready to do this for the next three months or so myself. back in the gym, working on my business, working on my music and spending time with family. Helping my mom with her charity work. It goes in cycles for me. Women, life, women, life. Women are just small vacations from my busy life. Good Luck.

 

[everywomanshero]

This thing (fvcking hotties) is not time sensitive for men in that we can still attract hotties with ease way past 40. Actually it gets easier for most guys I've met as they get into the mid twenties.

First of all it doesn't make any difference if women are approaching you are not with compliments. If you're waiting for that, you're going to have to do A LOT of tweaking and have way more patience than I do. I approach them. Yes I do get flying compliments from time to time but that accounts for less than 5% of my successful interactions with women that lead to sex.

I don't know what to tell you other than like Nike says just doit. You take the bull by horns, or in this case the woman by the hand, and you just make it happen. Reading all the books in the world isn't going to do it for you, reading every post ever written won't do it for you, wishful thinking won't do it for you, NLP won't do it for you, actually the more you rely on miracle solution to appear the further from your goal you get.

There are only 3 things you need to do:
1) Put your best foot forward (hair styled well, reasonably cool clothes)
2) Isolate the woman
3) **** her

Now all of these are somewhat optional, you might look like crap and still pork something hot, you might not isolate but pork someone at a swing party, etc, but these are general guidelines. Actually it's far harder to just be cool in social situations than it is to **** isolated women, ****ing women is the easy part, winning over groups in everyday social situations is more difficult than ****ing women. If you are already good with social skills and interacting with people, then you're just about sex. Just be more assertive and actually don't hold yourself back. Follow the steps and stop convincing yourself it won't work and it will work
Very sexual women tend to like assertive men. That doesn;t mean you act nuts and go around starting fights, but it means you do not act like a timid lil boy. If you act that way, most women will not be attracted to you at all. They fantasize about a guy who is aggressive, who pulls their hair and necks them and ravages them just like in romance novels and crap. They are socialized if not innately attracted to the idea of the man being the aggressor. Doesnt mean you need to be an NFL football player either, too much confusion exists over that, just means you can't be a *****

 

[The Damned]

Cheers guys,
The only thing i was thinking though is if a girl is hot for me then maybe she would look and smile etc, most women i even take a look at dont look back(or look at all) or at best look and look the opposite way asap, so does that mean they are totally not interested? If I got a positive look at least I would have the chance to move in.
Most of the women who have approached me have been the morbidly obese or older women(at least over 45) which to me tells me my sexual status in life.

 

[JDA70]

Would you be willing to post some photos of yourself
some we can see what look is like? Because you may need
a new hair style and different cloths, shoes and stuff.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Some girls keep it a secret extremely well. Sometimes while I'm out, I put myself in PLAIN sight of the girl to see if she looks at me or maybe show interest, and lots of times I don't get anything. Without any IOI's, it does make it harder to approach, but after approaching girl after girl that gave me no second look or anything, yet still seeing their faces light up when I say hi, made me a believer that girls may never show any IOI's until you actually show her you have the balls to walk up to her and say hi. If you get turned down then, then we may have a problem.

 

[rushing dude 123]

dude i seen the most uglyest mother ****ers bag freaking models, i am sure u have nothing worried about. Dude don't b worried if girls are looking at u or not, just go up talk to them and improve that. Even if u was ugly (which im sure ur not) it won't matter because once u improve that u will create interest so it won't matter. Just focus on what u can improve, maybe smart urself up a bit but other than that just gain loads of experience.

The question is not do they like me, rather do i like them. If so go up and talk to them.

^ just remember and apply that and u will b a master in no time.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Keep working on meeting new broads.Thats all you can do,be more sexual and aggresive as well...