Back Down or Stand Ground

[Fugitive]

Been with my GF for over a year. I'm in control, she needs me more than I need her, she is dependent on me emotionally and intimately. I'm pretty dominant over her.

However every so often she will get really mad at me about something and use this to put me in the wrong so she can grab a sense of power. The things that I might do wrong is not call her, not meet her or not do something she expects.

On this occasion I was supposed to meet her and drop her off somewhere but its 5 hours driving, so the day before I said I'm not sure about dropping her off so she said no worries she'd get a taxi. She then got angry and refused to talk to me, so we couldn't meet at all that day. She's now been angry for a couple days and is expecting me to grovel and apologise.

As a side angle she is threatening to cancel our holiday together.

Do I back down and keep saying sorry for backing out or do I stand my ground and tell her to cut the power struggle sh*t?

 

[Julian]

Pick your battles bro. BTW backing out on a major expedition like that the day before is a fukboy move no matter how you slice it.


With great power comes great responsibility...if you are dominant over her you cant always be heavy handed about everything...be secure you already run the show and if she is definitely in the wrong then of course, drop the hammer (not physically duh). but obviously let her know what time it is.

In this instance she has a right to be pissed at you. Now shes gonna call me up and give me road head for the ride hahah jk bro.

Sometimes you have to let her win a little to keep her motivated.

 

[Fugitive]

Not all my fault as she changed the pick up location to 2 hours further away should have said no when she changed it rather than last minute so yes that was my fault.

Let her win a little hmm I can live with that but not sure I should be grovelling i.e. apologising again and again?

 

[Suspens]

She is not happy, you can't change that.

No need to apologize, you aren't her little puppy.

 

[Tenacity]

Been with my GF for over a year. I'm in control, she needs me more than I need her, she is dependent on me emotionally and intimately. I'm pretty dominant over her.

However every so often she will get really mad at me about something and use this to put me in the wrong so she can grab a sense of power. The things that I might do wrong is not call her, not meet her or not do something she expects.

On this occasion I was supposed to meet her and drop her off somewhere but its 5 hours driving, so the day before I said I'm not sure about dropping her off so she said no worries she'd get a taxi. She then got angry and refused to talk to me, so we couldn't meet at all that day. She's now been angry for a couple days and is expecting me to grovel and apologise.

As a side angle she is threatening to cancel our holiday together.

Do I back down and keep saying sorry for backing out or do I stand my ground and tell her to cut the power struggle sh*t?

I don't know what's up with some of you guys on this section of the forum with this "power and control" game stuff, the only person you have power and control over is YOURSELF. You can walk around thinking you "control" a chick all you want, but when she flips on you one day and stabs you in the back you will see how much you "control" her.

In regards to this situation, don't commit to something if you don't know you are going to follow through with it. You knew the trip was 5 hours long so you should have told her upfront you wouldn't be able to do it, instead of telling her you would do it and pull out at the LAST damn minute. If you did this shyt to one of your homeboys THEY would be pissed at you, anybody would be pissed at you for doing this shyt.

In terms of a power struggle, get over yourself. The things you have true power and control over is yourself and things in relation to yourself. You don't own, control, dominate, have authority over, etc. ANY chick out here. You can walk around thinking that you do, but again, as I said, reality will bite you in the a.ss soon enough if that's your mentality.

Tell the chick you apologize for changing it at the last minute, work on being a man of your word going forward in all dealings with people. If you commit to something, follow through with it. If you don't want to commit to something, tell people that shyt upfront. But if you say you are going to give me a ride somewhere and I'm counting on you to do that, then you tell me at the last minute you aren't doing it...that would make me say fvck you too.

 

[Suspens]

But if you say you are going to give me a ride somewhere and I'm counting on you to do that, then you tell me at the last minute you aren't doing it...that would make me say fvck you too.

That is not the case here.

 

[Tenacity]

That is not the case here.

I don't know, he said he told her a day before and that could be considered last minute considering it's a 5 hour trip. If the chick did in fact use a taxi for that, then that taxi was expensive as hell.

 

[Fugitive]

Thanks for all replies so far. Some different opinions.

To clarify the trip I originally committed to was about 2.5 hours, this was planned about a month in advance, the week of the trip she changed it to 5 hours, I said yes without really thinking it through. Day before I said to her I would have to drive 5 hours, so she offered to take taxi instead. I accepted. She asked if I could still meet her at the destination, I wasn't sure but then said yes but she got mad that I wasn't keen and refused to talk to me to finalise arrangements to meet her at the destination.

I do feel in hindsight that like Julian/Tenacity said that I pulled out on her too late. But I also feel that she has turned it into a power move to grab power and I shouldn't roll over like Ruler/Suspens said.

Things are totally cool between us now but she slipped in today randomly that "she's still mad". Again thinking power move?