Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Attraction explained.

Gunwitch

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Thanks for the replys.


However while I am not going to point fingers here I do want to point out that many who argue against being at all dominant, those who justify being submissive, tend to not have a good sex life.

One needs to change what they do to get different results and all.

Ask yourself if you are arguing because you don't like the idea of being masculine and agressive and dominant, or if you don't like the idea of change?

Do you feel like if you do the things I listed another man with give you a wedgie and a swirly for doing it around "HIS" women?

If you were one of the "but I want to be like woody allen" replies, really search yourself and you will know the real reason you don't want to do the things I say is the same reason you don't get laid in the first place.
 

baracus

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Originally posted by Gunwitch
Thanks for the replys.


However while I am not going to point fingers here I do want to point out that many who argue against being at all dominant, those who justify being submissive, tend to not have a good sex life.

One needs to change what they do to get different results and all.

Ask yourself if you are arguing because you don't like the idea of being masculine and agressive and dominant, or if you don't like the idea of change?

Do you feel like if you do the things I listed another man with give you a wedgie and a swirly for doing it around "HIS" women?

If you were one of the "but I want to be like woody allen" replies, really search yourself and you will know the real reason you don't want to do the things I say is the same reason you don't get laid in the first place.
Honestly, I get laid plenty without having to try to consciously be dominant, overly masculine or aggressive. I give you 4.5 on your pigeon-hole attempt.

That being said,
"You are the weakest link; good bye!"
 

Fatality

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Originally posted by Blackgame
thats why it's don't playfullly and if you have expressed you are
a dominant male she will love it
I don't know, my uncle always did that playfully and I always thought it was annoying. I think the girl would have to really be into you.
 

rgeere

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Originally posted by Gunwitch
However while I am not going to point fingers here I do want to point out that many who argue against being at all dominant, those who justify being submissive, tend to not have a good sex life.
I'm not talking about being overly submissive, I am speaking about having good qualities that encompas a good person, there is a diffrence.

For example, if you want an LTR, you need to learn how to make compromises without looking like you have no backbone. And I already explained how to do that by being assertive, which doesn't degrade anyone.



One needs to change what they do to get different results and all.
Yes, as is the case for overly aggressive and overly submissive people. The end result for both cases is either prison sex or no sex, and I don't think anyone wants to go in that direction or even explain what I mean by that, because it is obvious.


Ask yourself if you are arguing because you don't like the idea of being masculine and agressive and dominant, or if you don't like the idea of change?
Th diffrence between those that are offering an alternative view has to do with social dynamics.

There is one view that is asserting the 'ALPHA MALE' view, basically that there is one dominant male that takes almost everything at everyone else' expense including all the women. The Betas get enslaved and work for the Alpha with little expectation for sex or even a good life. A basic mistrust is formed, and it is win/win for the alpha and it is lose/lose for the beta. This is not the way that society is intended to function.

Then there is an 'ALPHA/BETA' view where there is a basic form of cooperation between alphas and betas, and no one really gets harmed. Alphas and betas cover for each others strengths and weaknesses and there is a basic trust between them. Alphas and betas both find ways to aquire sex and can maintain a family without fear of outside disturbance. It is win/win for both the alpha and the beta.This is the way that society is ment to function.


Do you feel like if you do the things I listed another man with give you a wedgie and a swirly for doing it around "HIS" women?


No, because any man that tries this is asking for an ass kicking of some type no matter how big he is especially if he is claiming a bunch of girls that don't even really like him, which is normally the case with these types.


If you were one of the "but I want to be like woody allen" replies, really search yourself and you will know the real reason you don't want to do the things I say is the same reason you don't get laid in the first place.
I know what you are going to argue in return, and I am going to say it anyways.

There is more to life than pointless sex with flakey women with crappy personalities who arn't good for you in the first place. I'd rather weed those women out and go for the good ones that havn't been spoiled by abuse and mistrust. One of them is good enough to produce my children, and I don't need any more than that. I rather be someone children can look up to and want to model than some overbearing abusive and out of control man. Now, I am not saying this with the intent of having weak qualties, but I have better self-control than to lower myself to that level.
 

AlwaysExcel

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Originally posted by rgeere
It all goes down to a matter of trust, you can be the biggest baddass mofo in the place, and if women don't trust you they'll recoil out of anticipation of being hurt.
Hey rgeere, I can vouch for Gunwitch's advice because losing my inhibitions about showing my sexual state and engaging a girl in playful dominant kino, boosted my game immensely. I've had a lot of success escalating really fast with strange girls. A girl happily remarked last weekend, after I wall slammed her in a club and spanked her ass after 15 minutes of knowing her, that I'm "not afraid to express myself." Gotta love female euphenisms.

But I'm interested in what you're saying and want to hear more. I don't quite understand this concept of "trust" and how it fits into seduction. She's trusting you to not hurt her in what way? Physically or psychologically or both?

Why would someone be mistrustful of playfulness? Is it the fact that you're a stranger?

What's an acceptable level of trust to start being playful in your opinion? What are signs that she trusts you? How do you test for these signs?

How do you go about building this trust? Do you build trust right off the bat or after some sort of initial attract phase? What is acceptable "pre-trust" attract material in your opinion?
Thanks!
 

de silva

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Mostly good stuff that I agree with. Some of it I think is unnecessary. Like not being the first to look away (from guys). There's no need for that (in this day and age). It sounds like you've still got "something to prove". I know I'm not the toughest guy around, but I don't start trouble and I'll always stand up for myself no matter what, so I'm confident enough in that aspect of my manhood -- which isn't necessarily "dominant", but in no way submissive -- that I don't need to "prove it" by eyeballing into "submission" a guy that just may well feel like I do when someone does it to me -- ie, I'd kick your ass you tryhard, but I've got better things to do with my time. Overall, the advice given is fairly good and fairly accurate, but the specifics of it (as opposed to the principles) relate more to the late teen/early 20s than the mature guy. You're probably at that age yourself, so that's no knock on you.
 

de silva

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Alwaysexcel, I think he means just trusting that you're "safe". Something similar to when you were a kid, and some older people seemed "scary" to you (you didn't "trust" them). Basically, while you don't want to feel "inhibited", you don't want to come across as a "psycho" either.

Women seem to get "scared" pretty easier (well, a lot easier than us, anyway). As an example, I scremed at my younger cousin last year, who's a bit of a clumsy bimbo, for knocking my laptop off the table. She stormed off, and her friends (who are familiar with me) were visibly shocked, and when I was explaining myself about why I screamed at my cousin so much ('cos she's always doing clumsy shyt like that), they were like, yeah, we get it, but man you really scare us when you yell like that (I didn't really "yell" that loud, either).

So, okay, "not being inhibited" isn't exactly the same as "yelling like a maniac", but the point is that some stuff you do, especially when trying to establish your "dominance", can easily be misconstrued (depends on the chick, of course) as "scary" (and thus unattractive) behavior.
 

de silva

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Originally posted by rgeere
It all goes down to a matter of trust, you can be the biggest baddass mofo in the place, and if women don't trust you they'll recoil out of anticipation of being hurt.
I didn't really read "badass" in anything that was said in that post. "Dominant" certainly doesn't equal "badass" in every sense, although there is overlap in some aspects. I had a couple of "natural" buddies in the past who, looking back, certainly qualiied as "dominant", but not "badass" (at least not until provoked).
 

rgeere

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Originally posted by AlwaysExcel
Hey rgeere, I can vouch for Gunwitch's advice because losing my inhibitions about showing my sexual state and engaging a girl in playful
dominant kino, boosted my game immensely. I've had a lot of success escalating really fast with strange girls. A girl happily remarked last weekend, after I wall slammed her in a club and spanked her ass after 15 minutes of knowing her, that I'm "not afraid to express myself." Gotta love female euphenisms.
That's great, I'm glad you found encouragement to assert yourself.I can also vouch for gunwitch. I agree with him in concept, but not entirely in principle. I guess you can say we have two diffrent ways to reach the same end goal. I don't think we are actually to far off in thinking when it comes to attracting women.

But I'm interested in what you're saying and want to hear more. I don't quite understand this concept of "trust" and how it fits into seduction. She's trusting you to not hurt her in what way? Physically or psychologically or both?
Now, I'm not talking about believeing in the myth that women are weak creatures and that you should step on eggshells around them, that's what an AFC believes. That belief will get you taken advantage of by a smart woman who means you nothing but trouble in a hurry. Granted, a man really should save himself the trouble of meeting these types of girls in the first place. It depends on who you choose to hang around.

If you are an abusive person, you would find other abusive people. If you are a good person, you would find other good people. If you seek out the good and are good, then you will find a reason to trust people. The same with those who are bad in that you will only find reason to mistrust people. In life, everything comes around full circle, and you will reap what you sow be that good or bad for you in the end.

What I am going to say is really more of the DJ concept than a player or seducer concept [many fuse them together mistakingly]. You may not be familiar with some of the psychological terminology. I suppose I'll just assume everyone knows, and if not people can ask.

What I mean by trust is that instead of isolating sex from a woman [as would a player], you embrace the whole of the woman to entice her to come closer to you. Basically, all parts that form her inner self are stimulated, that being mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, and sexual. However, the real diffrence lies in the fact that there is real honesty involved. There are no false-faces, ****y-funny becomes close to unnecessary, you display real confidence, you are positive, fit, and sharp, and most importantly you change the things that can be changed, and accept those things that can't; meaning the acception of both your strength and your weaknesses as they stand in both yourself and others, and even more so you live up to your God given potential [something many people need to do more of].

Now, as far as hurt is concerned, if you neglect or reject any part of the five parts of 'self' in you or in others, that can lead to distance, abuse, or a failed relationship. This is really the strongest place where the Gunwitch method fails, in that it emphasises the isolation of the sexual side of a person and disregards the other parts. Basically, anyone who uses the method as an attempt to form relationships will fail, miserably. It is really only good to teach men to become disruptive annoyances of society with the strict purpose
of sexual gratification at the cost of others.

As far as the Gunwitch method is concerned, I would fit the principles presented and the motivation behind them closer to the player category in that there is a underlining basic encouragement for the disregard of others in some form or another disguised within blurbs of blatent positivity.

First, the intent is to destroy the purpose of marriage on the basis that it was instituted by beta males to avoid competition with alpha males through a barter system. This in itself actually contains truth, but it is a rationalized half-truth. This is a lie considering the
basis that the early laws that shaped the origional fabrics of society were instituted by alpha males to protect the underdog, and not vice-versa as Gunwitch suggest. It is absolutly rediculous to think that beta males would be able to hold their barter and marriage customs without some respect and support from those stronger than them. The fact that these customs have survived even to this day in some countries shows an act of cooperation and not deviance and defiance from others stronger around them.

Second, the encouragement to disregard the thought that a woman you are suducing might actually be married without first finding out. You are taught to basically live in the moment of heat and go by your gut. In all honestly, there is absolutly nothing wrong with being driven by your horniness and your testosterone when it is directed appropiatelly, and it is suppose to be that way. But you arn't suppose to use your God given means of manliness to break up a home or to dissolve the support children need to grow into happy, healthy, and mature individuals just for a little of your selfish self-gratification; this totally goes against the way a man should naturally be acting in all aspects.

Third, the premise that having sex with a woman as quickly as possible would be better than forming a relationship with her or actually helps to form a relationship. This is flawed on the basis that there is still an isolation of the basic parts of a person involved and there lies no indication that there is any long-run compatability. This is unhealthy on the premise that you are involving someone in your life that you
do not know whether you can accept, which can lead to break-ups or an abusive relationship.

There might be more of these, but these are what I remember disagreeing with. I might find more disagreements and similarities when I find the time to reread the Gunwitch method.

Why would someone be mistrustful of playfulness? Is it the fact that you're a stranger?
Maybe, it depends on your approach. If it works for you and you get positive results, then use it. I'm not biased against an unharmful principle that works and gets results.

What's an acceptable level of trust to start being playful in your opinion? What are signs that she trusts you? How do you test for these signs?
Basically when she feels comfortable enough to be touched by you, unless you are awkward or something.

How do you go about building this trust? Do you build trust right off the bat or after some sort of initial attract phase? What is acceptable "pre-trust" attract material in your opinion?
Thanks!
Trust should be something that is being build all along. If you can't build trust, then you arn't going to get anywhere with a woman. It's common sense.
 
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Maximus_Decimus

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In that post, Gunwitch is saying you should be a man. Just assert your masculinity in a socially acceptable way. What's so hard to understand about that?

Maximus_Decimus
 

rgeere

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Originally posted by Maximus_Decimus
In that post, Gunwitch is saying you should be a man. Just assert your masculinity in a socially acceptable way. What's so hard to understand about that?

Maximus_Decimus
Alright, let me get things straight here. Apparently people are assuming that I am saying things that I am not.

I Agree with Gunwitch on what dominance means, I agree with what it means to be a man.

What I don't agree with is these vibes I am getting from him that there should be only ONE APLHA MALE. Not everything in life should be win/lose or lose/lose. Life should be win/win, and thats basically the purpose of the structure of society, to create that sort of an enviroment.

The last thing I want to see is an issue coming acrost that reality should become like some cheesy episode of hilander or something. Pathetic.
 

MrHarris

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"As far as the Gunwitch method is concerned, I would fit the principles presented and the motivation behind them closer to the player category"

Gunwitch method is only a tool. It depends on how you apply it. If you choose the player route in using his ideas on attraction and dominance then ok. If your looking for a girlfriend that you can devote your undying love to, then use it to catch and date her.


On the subject of being dominante read these excerts:

"Women are attracted to strong men(the character trait, not arm size

The key is, being bold and gallant. She is looking for the knight on the big white charger that she reads about in her stupid romance novels.

You men have been brainwashed to believe that you can impress Miss Right by how much you keep verbally expressing your love for her. In fact, it has just the opposite effect.

The wimp thinks a backbone is like a chicken wing! But he is dead wrong. If he could just realize how much his woman is dying for him to show her he was born with a backbone. When dealing with Miss Right the wimp has no courage. I know guys who could handle themselves in a biker beer bar, (they are tough with other men), but around a 98 lb. girlfriend, they play the bull elephant while she plays the mouse. He jumps.


Women have to know, every once in a while, that the object of their affection is worthy of their Interest Level. To you Psych majors, this means: no backbone equals no respect, which equals no love


The key is, confident men don’t beg, men who control themselves won’t beg, and Challenging men cannot beg"

-Doc Love

"When you stop hitting your head against the barn door, the pain goes away. To you slow guys, if you keep doing with women what you been doing, you are going to get the same results"

-Jethro Love
 

Royal Elite

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Originally posted by rgeere
What I don't agree with is these vibes I am getting from him that there should be only ONE APLHA MALE. Not everything in life should be win/lose or lose/lose. Life should be win/win, and thats basically the purpose of the structure of society, to create that sort of an enviroment.
This is a loser's quote, since only losers talk about what life should be like instead of what it is.

Life is win or lose there is nothing in between.

It doesnt matter if you agree or not-some people will win in this life time and some will lose-its the power of duality or yin/yang.

Winners are people who understand this and refuse to deal with the agony of losing. Loser lose because they don't plan to win, while winners don't plan to lose.
 

rgeere

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Originally posted by MrHarris
"As far as the Gunwitch method is concerned, I would fit the principles presented and the motivation behind them closer to the player category"

Gunwitch method is only a tool. It depends on how you apply it. If you choose the player route in using his ideas on attraction and dominance then ok. If your looking for a girlfriend that you can devote your undying love to, then use it to catch and date her.
I know where you are coming from, and you are right in the aspect that these are tools, but that is exactly my point. The gunwitch method is a tool to unbrainwash people away from the healthy societal programming that has been placed down for the good of everyone and into a more 'I-DONT-GIVE-A-FVCK' type of a chaotic mindset. This is not the type of mindset you want to have if you ever get into a relationship with a girl or to even live in society for that matter.

So, I guess its more along the lines of what you want out of life. If you arn't afraid of the possibility of something you put into your head to ever turn you into an abusive prick or typical loser, then I suppose you wouldn't mind absorbing the underlining notions of the principles presented within the Gunwitch method. It's your choice.
 

AlwaysExcel

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Thanks for the reply regeere! I don't want to get into a player vs. DJ debate though. I'm interested in the specific APPLICATION of your concept of trust. Call me slow but I'm still really in the dark about it. It seems that you're saying a guy should establish rapport and get to know the girl rather than just focusing on escalating off of attraction.

The problem with many instructions to establish rapport, is that they don't really go into specifics or give very good examples. Gunwitch, has touched on rapport in his method. The SSers have also given a lot of rapport routines but I'm not interested in learning to hypnotise people or memorizing a bunch of lines.

You haven't answered my questions about rapport. I asked:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why would someone be mistrustful of playfulness? Is it the fact that you're a stranger?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


You said:
Maybe, it depends on your approach. If it works for you and you get positive results, then use it. I'm not biased against an unharmful principle that works and gets results.

----Well, playful dominance DOES work for me and Gunwitch, and that's why it's being advocated. You seem to be saying that a person needs to build trust first. Is this your experience? Are you merely saying that trust is needed for a LTR but isn't necessary for a fast seduction?


I asked:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's an acceptable level of trust to start being playful in your opinion? What are signs that she trusts you? How do you test for these signs?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


You replied:
Basically when she feels comfortable enough to be touched by you, unless you are awkward or something.


---The problem is that I have to make a move to test her "trust" before I know that she trusts me. So "waiting until she trusts me" isn't the right thing to do.

Sure, I'm playful in a socially intelligent way and I think Gunwitch would agree as he's advocated an ascent in sexual state. If I spank a girl and she starts acting weirded out, I pull back and address her discomfort by reframing the situation. Like when I sensed a C&F exchange becoming TOO combative and pointless, I acted hurt when she started to get pissed and called me an *******. I said "damn, I can't believe you said that. That's fvcked up!" Then I said, "busting each others balls is fun, but we can have a normal convo too." Got great rapport and IOIs after I stole her frame, whereas before, she blew off my rapport attempts.




I asked:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How do you go about building this trust? Do you build trust right off the bat or after some sort of initial attract phase? What is acceptable "pre-trust" attract material in your opinion?
Thanks!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You replied:

Trust should be something that is being build all along. If you can't build trust, then you arn't going to get anywhere with a woman. It's common sense.


---You didn't answer my questions at all here. How do you SPECIFICALLY build trust?
 

rgeere

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I should clarify something about myself. I don't believe that everything that society does is typically good for people, either. There are laws that should be obeyed, and there are some that should be disobeyed. The diffrence in choosing which laws should be obeyed is chosen with discretion and the realization that certain laws deviate from good principles and bad principles. If a law is good for everyone and is there to guide weak people into a stronger frame and mindset, then it is good. If a law devaiates from this principles and seeks to weaken the otherwise strong for purposes of limitation and negitive connotations than that law should be disregarded and people should do what ever they want inspite of it.

I'm basically saying that while I don't entirely disagree with the chaotic mindset principle, I disagree with the premise that chaos should occur for bad purposes, because there are just reasons for everything and that includes acting out in chaos.
 

Gunwitch

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I often get mixed response here in this forum to what I post. I suppose it is the "don jaun vs player debate" thing.

I am not trying to debate that ALL men should only have one night stands.

I myself have been in love based relationships 9 times in my life.

They don't work out so well, I get bored, they get annoyed with me, we end up fighting a lot.

But hell I am 30 years old, I ain't ready for the easy chair, matching toothbrushes and soccer wagon yet.

Those who are? They probably do not want to follow my advice.

And just like I said at the end of GWM,

Those who want hot sex with as many hot chicks as they can find? As temporary of hot sexual unions as possible until they do get ready to "settle down"? They certainly do.
 

rgeere

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AlwaysExcel, perhaps it would be best if I go back to why I origionally said trust.

In the context I origionally said 'trust,' I was referring to the intention of maintaining dominance through negitive means as causing mistrust among people.Things like staring other people down and making other people submit to you out of insecurity or because you feel you have something to prove is a prime example of creating mistrust and fear among other people, whether they be male or female. However, it is totally posible to be dominant without alienating or distancing people, and this is by being assertive. Gunwitch had used some rather negitive examples mixed in with some positive remarks, and that was what I was primarily objecting to.


In another context, I was speaking of 'trust' in a way similar to that of building 'repore.' Except that I used specific termilogy and the concept of the 5 parts of self to describe the whole of a person and that typically all should be stimulated for a complete intimate attraction to occur.

An attraction based on just pure sex is an attraction, but it is not a complete attraction and often causes more harm than good in the long run if in fact you find that the whole of the 5 parts of self are not appropiatelly stimulated within the other person or within you.

However, to find this out you must spend time with a person, and that is where repore comes into play.

As far as tickling someone I don't think that is an issue; it seems like a rather positive action to me the way Gunwitch and you say you are dominance playing. I'd keep at it. Whether or not that is an issue of trust I think it is to certain degree, but moreso that they are comfortable being around you.
 

rgeere

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Originally posted by Gunwitch
I often get mixed response here in this forum to what I post. I suppose it is the "don jaun vs player debate" thing.

I am not trying to debate that ALL men should only have one night stands.

I myself have been in love based relationships 9 times in my life.

They don't work out so well, I get bored, they get annoyed with me, we end up fighting a lot.

But hell I am 30 years old, I ain't ready for the easy chair, matching toothbrushes and soccer wagon yet.

Those who are? They probably do not want to follow my advice.

And just like I said at the end of GWM,

Those who want hot sex with as many hot chicks as they can find? As temporary of hot sexual unions as possible until they do get ready to "settle down"? They certainly do.
Gunwitch, I hope you do not feel that I am putting you down by the things that I have said. I am not, in fact, reading your material has helped me because there were problems in my own life that were specifically pointed out from reading what you wrote. In result, I have a tremendous respect for the fact that you want to help other in this regards.

However, over time I studied your material and got more than a basic grasp of the general context of the entirity your writtings, and I began to see some indications of dysfunctionalism that isn't necessarily healthy, and this was reflected in the advice. In a way, you were revealing yourself to those who read your material, the way you live your life.

You say you have had nine love relationships, and that they have all failed because you got bored, they got annoyed, and you both fought alot. Well, I don't doubt it. Maybe someday there will be a time where you can look back and wonder what you could have done better with your life, and hopefully see some of the mistakes. Life is an experiment and a learning process afterall, atleast you can't regret that fact.

I hope you would take the time to read and seek to understand some of the things that I have been saying in response to this thread. I did it out of respect for you, and I want to return some of what you've given to everyone. I don't have to, but I'm doing it anyways.
 

AlwaysExcel

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Originally posted by rgeere


In another context, I was speaking of 'trust' in a way similar to that of building 'repore.' Except that I used specific termilogy and the concept of the 5 parts of self to describe the whole of a person and that typically all should be stimulated for a complete intimate attraction to occur.

An attraction based on just pure sex is an attraction, but it is not a complete attraction and often causes more harm than good in the long run if in fact you find that the whole of the 5 parts of self are not appropiatelly stimulated within the other person or within you.

However, to find this out you must spend time with a person, and that is where repore comes into play.
Ok, cool. But I'm still in the dark about HOW you go about establishing rapport. HOW do you explore and stimulate the "5 parts of her self?" I'm asking for concrete examples from your experience. My biggest frustration with people advocating rapport is that they don't go into specifics that much. I mean we have all types of routines/examples and strategies/methods for attraction but not as much for rapport. Yeah, NO SHYT, creating a connection is ideal. NO SHYT, stimulating her whole being is ideal! How SPECIFICALLY do you do this? Step by step stuff. Examples. Frames. Methods. Instructions for avoiding being sucked into her frame.

And even more importantly, how do you connect with her AND feel a connection yourself? I've "connected" with girls accidentally or sporadically and they've gushed on about our great connection, while I'm thinking, "I feel NOTHING!"
 
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