Attraction and Interest are not the same thing

[3agle 3yes]

Reading forums and blogs based on dating advice, I've realised a common misconception.

Many people believe (perhaps unwittingly) that interest and attraction are the same thing.

I have particularly seen this mistake with people who think you can't make a girl feel attracted to you (usually proponents of anti-game) and that ultimately women decide who they mate with. They usually believe LOOKS are the most important thing.

Here's an excerpt of an email I replied to regarding the subject:

(email sender)"...The scam part of scam is that they imply you can say or do things to flip an "on" switch in women who had no attraction in you, and that part is the scammy part...

(Me)"What many seem to not understand is that women CANNOT reject a man they do not know.

They also CANNOT be attracted to a man they do not know.

Interest and attraction are TWO SEPARATE THINGS.

Being physically handsome will cause INTEREST however it cannot cause ATTRACTION.

Having no interest in you DOESN'T mean she cannot be attracted to you. A woman has the POTENTIAL to be attracted to man if she got to know him...NO woman in the world has ever had attraction for a man she has NEVER SEEN OR HEARD before."

"...It'd be great if becoming better people automatically got us women, but unfortunately, on this planet, due to female laziness, it does not..."

"It ALWAYS comes down to sex...sex happens when you are TALKING to women as much as when you're actually having physical sex.

The word INTERCOURSE means to communicate verbally. SEXUAL intercourse is SEXUAL communication.

It is what we call flirting. It is a sub-textual language between men and women...men INITIATE women RESPOND.

Sex is more PSYCHOLOGICAL than it is physical. A man who always makes the first move shows SEXUAL confidence. It shows you have been around women before and are comfortable with them...it also means you know women are women not men.

If you have NO EXPERIENCE with women it is going to be OBVIOUS to her...you can have EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD but if you CAN'T communicate SEXUALLY to a woman you CANNOT make her attracted to you.

You CAN still have sex with her, but you CANNOT make her attracted to you.

Women AREN'T lazy. They're just FEMININE. Femininity means FOLLOWING not leading. RECEIVING not giving.

The average woman is SMALLER than most men, she is PHYSICALLY WEAKER than most men, they have the potential to get RAPED and MURDERED, they pay the GREATER PENALTY for sex (PREGNANCY...at least on a biological level). They also have LOWER levels of testosterone therefore LOWER SEX DRIVES than men and have LESS EGGS CELLS in comparison to a man's sperm.

So it is understandable when women don't do much to initiate sexual interaction."

-----END OF EMAIL-----

So, as you can see it is really THE MEN who do the choosing...because it is MEN who do the approaching and ultimately cause the attraction. MEN get what they want...this is MASCULINITY at it's finest.

Does anyone have any thoughts?

 

[Deep Dish]

Many people believe (perhaps unwittingly) that interest and attraction are the same thing.

I have particularly seen this mistake with people who think you can't make a girl feel attracted to you (usually proponents of anti-game) and that ultimately women decide who they mate with. They usually believe LOOKS are the most important thing.

It's helpful to think in terms of stages: attraction, comfort, and seduction. Attraction is attraction, interest is the comfort stage. Each stage is about different things and you do have to go through each stage in sequential order.

Being physically handsome causes attraction, not interest. For interest, you must have value, durable value beyond a one day one moment performance, and value is achieved in the comfort stage. Spend too much time in the comfort stage, however, and your plane will run out of fuel. How you fly your airplane is the biggest reason why you crash or smoothly land.

 

[3agle 3yes]

...Being physically handsome causes attraction, not interest. For interest, you must have value, durable value beyond a one day one moment performance, and value is achieved in the comfort stage...

You seem to have it mixed around.

A woman cannot have attraction for someone she doesn't know.

Look up "Interest" in the dictionary, it says:

"A state of curiosity or concern about or attention to something."

A handsome man GETS ATTENTION. He cannot cause attraction by JUST being handsome.

Now look up "Attraction":

"The quality of attracting; charm."

You cannot charm if you do not talk.

Also this definition:

"The electric or magnetic force exerted by oppositely charged particles, tending to draw or hold the particles together."

it is synonymous with the word "connection":

"To become joined or united."

You cannot CONNECT with a woman unless she gets to know you and you, her.

Now suppose a handsome man is drawing INTEREST (attention) from a woman, they make eye contact and she smiles. Because of this he approaches her and they start talking. He flirts, she flirts back...they establish a CONNECTION (attraction).Then they leave TOGETHER (connection).

 

[Deep Dish]

No, I don't have it mixed around. You are focusing on the style of how I'm saying what I say, not what I'm saying. Style is an element of game, by the way.

 

[3agle 3yes]

No, I don't have it mixed around. You are focusing on the style of how I'm saying what I say, not what I'm saying...

Did you even read my reply? I read what you said and I showed you the definition of "Interest" and "Attraction", not what some PUA "Guru" tells you. You can't understand something until you're able to explain it to someone else, so explain to me how I'm wrong.

You have confused being "ATTRACTIVE" with causing "ATTRACTION".

Being "Attractive":

"arousing interest or engaging one's thought, consideration".

By your definition a woman can NEVER lose attraction for a man...

...Being physically handsome causes attraction, not interest...

...unless he can somehow become physically ugly over night.

 

[Deep Dish]

All your hanging up in linguistic semantics, all your quoting of the dictionary, the minute attention to detail (all otherwise good traits), betray your loose grasp of the bigger picture of game. You're walking on crutches. The conceptual color profile of the color space of your thoughts is metaphorically SRGB, mine is ProPhoto. I understand what you say, but the difference in color space makes it impossible, right now, for you to properly interpret what I have said.

In other words, to use a cliche, you are still plugged inside the Matrix. I'm outside of the Matrix, but I work within it.

Only people who truly understand game would understand what I said, so by your doth protest much, you reveal your lack of grasp. It's completely predictable.

Now, relax. You're uptight.

 

[3agle 3yes]

Okay I get it.

I've caught you out.