Attracting the wrong girls! ...

[Demonicale]

Ok i'm of average looks, i mean i'd post a pic if i was'nt retarded when it comes to forum pic posting .. anyhow what i'm asking is how do you guy's go about finding the girls you want to be with, against the girls you'de have a one night stand with?..

Whenever i go out to clubs/bars ... i always end up picking up girls who are .. well, very average .. they always want to be with me more than one night, but i end up just using them for sex when i'm drunk.

I'm sick of this, it's like i settle for crap as i can't seem to attract normal, exciting women.

Maybe i'm not really saying it right, i want to know what kind of thing's i SHOULD be doing to attract women at work, in the street, in the bookstores or wherever the hell they are ... is it attitude,looks,fashion ... what makes girl's approach you guy's? .. yeah it sounds like a strange thing to ask ..

 

[Vice]

i mean i'd post a pic if i was'nt retarded

There you have it, folks.

 

[Vice]

First off, you need to pick up some hobbies that YOU find interesting. For example, I'm getting into sailing, volunteering, art, and aviation. I'm interested in all of that stuff. Find out what YOU like, and go for it. That'll make YOU interesting.

Then, when you meet a girl, you can actually make her interesting by asking her about herself, and asking her open ended questions that have her use her imagination. There's a whole other life right in front of you.

Keep in mind though that women are rarely ever exciting. Think about what they do all day; go to work, gossip, get their hair/nails done, go shopping, etc. They're boring. MEN are the ones who are getting out there, going on adventures.

 

[sodbuster]

The ones who are easy for you to pick up are a couple steps BELOW you on the ladder. Easy pickings-the ones who are equal to you give fewer hints of interest and aren't going to jump right in bed with you[as easily]

 

[Demonicale]

There you have it, folks.

Thanks Vice

Some great advice here guys, i get where your comming from with the hobbies, going to have to work on that .. not sure what to pick up though.

"Sodbuster" ok i hear you their, is their any way to get them to show you intrest that is pretty obvoius to anyone .. i say this as a bloke i've never any clue if a girl likes me .. yeah i get them speaking to me and smiling .. but i'm absolute rubbish at reading signs.

 

[facadegeniality]

demonicale: it should have been "if i was retarded"

 

[Warrior74]

Whenever i go out to clubs/bars ... i always end up picking up girls who are .. well, very average .. they always want to be with me more than one night, but i end up just using them for sex when i'm drunk.

I'm sick of this, it's like i settle for crap as i can't seem to attract normal, exciting women.

what makes girl's approach you guy's? .. yeah it sounds like a strange thing to ask ..

Your average and the girls are average and your complaining? Listen women aren't gonna approach you, if you want more than average women then you are going to have to put in some work to have more than average game, and that means not being afraid to approach them. Your average remember? So why should a more than average woman approach you? Either become better, or make your game better.

 

[Vice]

Thanks Vice

Some great advice here guys, i get where your comming from with the hobbies, going to have to work on that .. not sure what to pick up though.

"Sodbuster" ok i hear you their, is their any way to get them to show you intrest that is pretty obvoius to anyone .. i say this as a bloke i've never any clue if a girl likes me .. yeah i get them speaking to me and smiling .. but i'm absolute rubbish at reading signs.

It's the paradox of choice, my friend. It's difficult finding something you're interested in because there's so many options. But you need to pick SOMETHING you're interested in.

And Warrior74 is also right.

You might also meet some girls that are into your newly discovered interests, and THEY'RE going to be interesting, because chances are good that they'll know more about it than you.

Try some kind of sport; surfing, running, biking, etc.

 

[Demonicale]

Your average and the girls are average and your complaining? Listen women aren't gonna approach you, if you want more than average women then you are going to have to put in some work to have more than average game, and that means not being afraid to approach them. Your average remember? So why should a more than average woman approach you? Either become better, or make your game better.

Yeah i should've put in my original post that the girls who i get with are below average.I'm not being a big head or anything, just think i look pretty damm good,have great confidence and still attract sub standard girls .. ok it sounds bad but you get my point right?.

Yeah your right Vice, just really working out which intrest would impress girl's .. i mean i use to goto the gym and loved it .. problem was i could'nt deal with the eating side of things as i'm kinda crap with food.

hmmm ... maybe i should just man up and restart going to the gym, at the very least it may motivate me to do alot more than i'm doing now .. as in i'd be getting myself intrested in something again?.

 

[Demonicale]

lol, these boards are on fire with jokes today i swear.

Pretty much like my current lovelife .. actually scrap that ... i don't have one!

Just bourght myself some whey protein and plan on rejoining the gym tomorrow aswell as buying some brand new gym gear ... even if i don't get bigger it's the fact it get's me out there and actually focuses my mind more!.

ok so now i've done that that's a first great step.. Now i just need women to not ignore me :crackup:

 

[f283000]

Are you a nice guy? Do you look like a nice guy? When girls start approaching you and they are either fatties or ugly ones it is a sign of you reeking of niceguy-ness. When low quality women get the balls to approach a man it's becaue they feel comfortable enough to approach you because you are not some jerk that would give them a hard time, but the opposite you look like a nice gentleman that would actually talk to them.

This is the truth of your problem but don't be ashamed plenty of us had this sort of thing happen. I had this happen myself and it's difficult for some of us that are born with a pretty face (that's why I started growing a beard and a mustache)

Most women (specially the hotter ones) are attracted to men that they see as the more masculine of the pack. This is why you see the hottest women around with rough face looking, mean face looking, big strong guys, jerks and a**holes. The fatties and average looking gals are afraid of talking to these guys for the fear of being rejected or insulted.

 

[Vice]

Yeah your right Vice, just really working out which intrest would impress girl's .. i mean i use to goto the gym and loved it .. problem was i could'nt deal with the eating side of things as i'm kinda crap with food.

Do NOT base your activity on what you think will impress girls.
What girls are impressed by is not under your control.
Instead, pick something that will impress YOU. For example, I run 6 miles every other day, and I always time myself, and strive to get a faster time on each run.

Are you a nice guy? Do you look like a nice guy? When girls start approaching you and they are either fatties or ugly ones it is a sign of you reeking of niceguy-ness. When low quality women get the balls to approach a man it's becaue they feel comfortable enough to approach you because you are not some jerk that would give them a hard time, but the opposite you look like a nice gentleman that would actually talk to them.

I never knew this; that's awesome that you shared that. I also dress well and try to be confident, but I think that I might be too intimidating to girls to just simply walk up to me and start talking to me.

Most women (specially the hotter ones) are attracted to men that they see as the more masculine of the pack. This is why you see the hottest women around with rough face looking, mean face looking, big strong guys, jerks and a**holes. The fatties and average looking gals are afraid of talking to these guys for the fear of being rejected or insulted.

This is true; women are attracted to MASCULINE guys, not pretty male models that are afraid to get dirty.

 

[marinetti]

X=X. That is to say, you attract what you project.

First off, if you can't do anything until you're drunk, then you're not going to get any quality girls who are there, as they won't deal with your drunkenness.

Second, I don't know what your vibe in the club is, but I'm guessing you find one girl who will talk to you and then just stick with her all night, not acknowledging or talking to anyone else. Or perhaps you ditch your friends to hang out with her. Or maybe you aren't there with any friends.

That clinginess is getting reciprocated back to you.

You need to decide what kind of girl you want, and then be the kind of person they're attracted to. Do you want to get a hardcore club girl? Then you BETTER completely indulge yourself in the club culture. Love clubs for what they are, be the kind of guy who just doesn't feel right if he isn't in a club OFTEN.

Or do you want the casual clubber? A little trickier if she isn't into club guys, but some simple dance moves and lots of core value dropping (briefly talking about outside hobbies, and inviting her to something other than dancing) would be the way to go.

If you're attracting the wrong women, you're projecting the wrong man. Every time.

Good luck!

 

[marinetti]

Yes, definitely, in re-reading your original post I'd say your problem is you don't have a sense of CULTURE.

For example, clubs have cultures. They have trendy styles of clothing, there are popular clubs and not so popular clubs, there's hip-hop clubs, trance clubs, euro clubs, etc...

But if you were a bodybuilder, there's a culture for that too. There's different workout techniques, gyms, festivals, gurus, etc. Those who are heavily into fitness KNOW all that stuff.

What is your CULTURE. What do you surround yourself with? Because the girls you attract are going to be attracted to that culture. If you have no culture (which is a big problem for random pickups in, say, a bookstore, cause both you and probably her are out of your cultures), then you become two people who are searching for a reason to be talking.

And chances are, she's not going to want to spend the time to try to find that reason.

Any questions? Lemme know!

 

[Warrior74]

Yeah i should've put in my original post that the girls who i get with are below average.I'm not being a big head or anything, just think i look pretty damm good,have great confidence and still attract sub standard girls .. ok it sounds bad but you get my point right?.

Yeah your right Vice, just really working out which intrest would impress girl's .. i mean i use to goto the gym and loved it .. problem was i could'nt deal with the eating side of things as i'm kinda crap with food.

hmmm ... maybe i should just man up and restart going to the gym, at the very least it may motivate me to do alot more than i'm doing now .. as in i'd be getting myself intrested in something again?.

Maybe you ,missed my point. Girls on your same level might approach you, girls below you will always approach you, how else will they get your attention? Girls that are equal and above, you gotta do the work. Get out there and open your mouth. Screw going back to the gym, (not really) but get back to sarging, cold approaching, what ever you want to call it. Open your mouth and say hi and stop waiting on them to come to you.

 

[Demonicale]

Yeah see "f283000" ... i've HONESTLY ALWAYS FELT that this is my problem .. i go out clean shaven,fancy shirt and jeans and shoes and i honestly think i look .. well yeah i look like a "Nice guy" ..... when i act like a **** i do seem to get more attention.

hmmm this has me REALLY intrested, i know it's only one element, as in physical appearance .. but i think this could be my problem, and i think if you guy's saw my pictures you might agree.

Ok apart from growing some facial hair, maybe a change of clothes for me?.. like i always have this thing where i think i have to look perfect outside and probally project the niceguy image.

Also i hear you guy's about doing something that appeal's to ME and not just doing something to impress women.God you guy's are awsome, some really helpful advice on here.

Ok tonight i'm planning on going out .. i'll wear diffrent clothes and try to grow some facial hair to see what happens... i also want to post you some pics on here so i'll look into that now.

Thanks again guy's, appreciate this!

Actually thinking about it .. Facebook allows you to veiw my pics without the need to be my friend... so look me up on there

"Richard James Worth" i'm From Plymouth,England

 

[f283000]

Demonicale, try the "opposite method." Whatever has not worked for you start doing the opposite.

I totally understand your problem. I also like to dress up often I love ties and sports coats I can't help it. I started to find out that instead of creating attraction from women I was pushing them away by the way I dressed. Due to my pretty face I looked too "perfect" which of course most people would think that is what women would want. But the truth is women want the opposite, they don't like pretty face nice guys that are perfect looking but guys that look rough. Another thing you have to understand is that if you are good looking and dress the part too that will intimidate women. Women are scared to death of rejection even more than men.

What I would recommend is getting yourself a nice leather jacket. It's a classic of the bad boy and it get you away from your pretty boy image. A nice leather jacket, some jeans, black shoes. It will give you an edge and be relaxed enough at the same time to not make you look so polished up compared to when dressing all nice and clean.

 

[The Greek]

Can't really see your pictures if it's your profile that's coming up, just a profile picture thumbnail.

Anyway... IMO it's very hard to approximate what girls will approach YOU and based on what this will happen.. it's much easier for you to approach the ones that are your type. It may sound hard but in truth it's the easier path.

 

[bam bam]

Brother dont worry too much about changing yourself for women. Change has to come for your own desire to become greater then you are. If your worried about club girls then give your head a shake. Women in clubs are complete trash 99.9% of the time their head cases with serious psychological problems. Avoid this filth at all costs if your looking for a good relationship with a confident and secure women. Clubs attract the wrong types of people and they provide desirability to everyone who has major self esteem issues and daddy issues LOL... No quality women will go to a night club to have random drunk guys grab her ass all night long get bumped and shoved rubbed up on... These are only desirable to certain types of women. I've dated soo much over the years and I still get around quiet a bit that clubs have been cut off my list. They where priority at one point earlier in my life. Go to places where the main vibe is a bit lower and people are there to relax. Restaurants in bars that are open a bit later for their bars crowd, coffee shops are a good one. Develop the ability to talk to anyone and just go with what is tossed your way and you'll make mistakes but as long as you learn from them you'll be fine. Best thing to do is fine a women who does the same things you do... yoga rock climbing... you guys are able to relate a lot easier... not this superficial club model bull**** industry... it's built on a terrible foundation so your going to have rocky times ahead of you...

p.s people dont comment about exceptions if your going to make a comment in that regard make it legit. A fraction of a percentage is a very small percent and if she is a quality lady that is there for her friends b-day she just might say she doesn't date people who go to clubs. *hate that dumb comment everyone makes when you give people solid advice...*

 

[Demonicale]

Demonicale, try the "opposite method." Whatever has not worked for you start doing the opposite.

I totally understand your problem. I also like to dress up often I love ties and sports coats I can't help it. I started to find out that instead of creating attraction from women I was pushing them away by the way I dressed. Due to my pretty face I looked too "perfect" which of course most people would think that is what women would want. But the truth is women want the opposite, they don't like pretty face nice guys that are perfect looking but guys that look rough. Another thing you have to understand is that if you are good looking and dress the part too that will intimidate women. Women are scared to death of rejection even more than men.

What I would recommend is getting yourself a nice leather jacket. It's a classic of the bad boy and it get you away from your pretty boy image. A nice leather jacket, some jeans, black shoes. It will give you an edge and be relaxed enough at the same time to not make you look so polished up compared to when dressing all nice and clean.

Yeah you see i'm like that, i like to look "great" whereever i go .. like wearing shirts and everything.I'm also worried that if i wear tshirts or whatever it will make me look worse as i'm pretty slim looking.

I know what you mean, when i use to approach i had soo much more fun and i came across as one of those guys as i was'nt afraid.But now a day's i have this phycological thing where i can't approach women atall .. although i'm great at talking to them.

Some of the thing's i've thought about is to grow some facial hair .. maybe that will make me not look soo much like a nice boy.
Also i'm looking at wearing tshirts or something out, but at the moment i've not really any decent ones to wear.

I guess i've been brought up to think women want clean shaven men and men who wear everything that makes them look "perfect" or close to it.ALWAYS wondered why the guys who walk around wearing ****tys tshirts and shirts and look like crap get the women.