At a loss of what to do or think.

[DoItAgain]

These past few months have been both the most satisfying time of my life and the most emotionally confusing.

I finally realized my goal of joining a talented rock band that plays the music I grew up listening to. We had our first gig (a function) and a few more gigs, including a gig at a nearby popular bar, lined up in early October.

On the other hand, I've turned into a very, very bitter and sexually frustrated man. That changed temporarily when I went on vacation to Orlando and Virginia Beach last month and saw plenty of regular looking guys with pretty women...and talked to a number of receptive pretty women on the trip.

Since I've been home, since there isn't much to do where I live, I've went back to the whole "Go on plentyoffish and try to get a date" thing and of course frustrated at the results. I'm not ugly, in fact I'm above average looking, but it seems the women on there are looking for the same guy...the man in uniform type, and instead of just chalking it up to shallow women on a dating site (these women being 6/7s themselves anyway) I take it personally then get mad at women and think "They're just good for their looks and sex."


Sorry, for the rant...it's just disappointing that I can't fully enjoy the best time of my life because of hormones and a love/hate relationship with women.

 

[Desdinova]

I've went back to the whole "Go on plentyoffish and try to get a date" thing and of course frustrated at the results.

IMO, the largest problem with online dating is the woman doesn't get to experience your voice tone, body language, nor even kino. She gets to read text and look at a picture of you. She's not getting the full experience of what you're REALLY like as a person. She has to use her imagination to get the rest of the experience. Women can have a wild imagination, but it seems that they imagine every guy on POF as a desperate, horny loser.

Go meet women in real life. The interaction is much better, not delayed, and she gets a good idea of what you're really like as a person.

 

[DoItAgain]

I live in a target-poor area...and the few 6/7/8s there are think they're 10s that deserve Brad Pitt.

That vacation opened up a new world for me. Women down south are so much nicer, and better looking.

Here, you just say "Hi" to a girl and she says "Um hello" and looks at you puzzingly.

I realize, however, that I have to make the best of my situation. I might be moving as soon as January, but I don't want to wait until then.

I'm just real tentative to make cold approaches given how rude the women are here.

 

[boynamedsue]

DoItAgain,
if i didnt know any better i would guess you live in the bay area. It is HORRIBLE here where its a FACT there is an 8 guy to 1 girl ratio. In addition to that it seems as though many girls, id estimate 2-1 ratio, are in relationships. That means there is essentially a 16 guy to 1 single girl ratio.. with the girls that are left they are basically 6's or 7's at best, and with that kind of ratio they believe they deserve a Brad Pitt because of the abundance of guys.

I myself contemplate over and over how i should move away, but its just hard to pull the trigger when family, friends and work is here.


One other thing i want to mention about my area (san jose). it was rated 5th worst place for a single guy to live in Maxim magazines rating.

 

[DoItAgain]

I live in the middle of nowhere in Massachusetts...about an hour away from Boston. And from what I hear from my extroverted, bar-type friends, the women in Boston are even worse.

And what's funnier is that the women down in Orlando and Virginia Beach are much better looking, and nicer. You can cold approach a woman at Kohls, for example, there, and she'll talk to you like you've known her your whole life. Up here, you ask a woman at Kohls if she has the time, and she looks at you like she wants to hurt you.

I'm hoping once I start gigging at the bars, the women see me on stage and hear us playing songs that they know and are more receptive to talking to me. I'm at the point where I don't even care if the woman is talking to me just because I'm in a band...that's the way the world works anyway.

 

[boynamedsue]

I live in the middle of nowhere in Massachusetts...about an hour away from Boston. And from what I hear from my extroverted, bar-type friends, the women in Boston are even worse.

And what's funnier is that the women down in Orlando and Virginia Beach are much better looking, and nicer. You can cold approach a woman at Kohls, for example, there, and she'll talk to you like you've known her your whole life. Up here, you ask a woman at Kohls if she has the time, and she looks at you like she wants to hurt you.

I'm hoping once I start gigging at the bars, the women see me on stage and hear us playing songs that they know and are more receptive to talking to me. I'm at the point where I don't even care if the woman is talking to me just because I'm in a band...that's the way the world works anyway.

THats funny, i would have described the same similarity with the bay area and southern cali. When i lived down south it seemed like girls would hit on you and they were 8's and 9's. Bay area, well, lets just say its like living in an alternate world.

 

[DoItAgain]

The thing is, this isn't about a girlfriend. I'm a pretty secure guy with a lot going on for me and a great family life. I don't need a pretty face by my side to make me feel whole.

That being said, unfortunately as a guy, sex, naked women and the like are on my mind 24/7.

 

[L B]

It's funny how location can make such a difference in your game and motivation. Often people don't see it until they travel to other parts of the country or the world. If it's possible for you, moving else where is a good idea.