At a Crossroad... Need Advice from OLDER People Please....

[muzicfreak2k3]

Okay guys... lemme give you a quick recap of things to put things into perspective.

Up until the summer after my sophomore year of highschool... I was living an "alright" life... had some good true friends, always had fun, did well in school... girls just weren't a part of my life, and i lived a pretty contained monotonous life. I realized that when i looked back at highschool in 10... 20 years, i wanted to have some good memories. I found out about the Venusian Arts... self-improvement techniques, and literally threw myself into the social scene... started to party and meet a ton of more people.

Junior year.... first kiss
Senior year.... lost my virginity, and had sex with another girl summer before entering college.

The college i go to is a large one, and not a single person from my high school attends it. I met a TON of people... had sex with 2 girls first semester, hooked up with a bunch of others.... 2nd semester i pledged a fraternity to expand my social circle even further.
Summer in between i hooked up with a bunch of girls at the beach and on vacations etc etc... no sex tho
First semester sophomore year i had sex with 3 girls... and hooked up with a LOTTTTTTT of others....

So here i am now.... my self image, confidence, and life is where i want it to be pretty much. I am doing relatively well in school, have great trustworthy friends.... and KNOW that i can get a girl if i want to. Anyways, first week of this semester I met this girl... we made out ... ended up having sex with her next weekend. Ive been hooking up with her (and only her) the entire semester (3 months...)... and here is the crossroads.

My whole perspective last semester and recently has been.... "I've hooked up with so many crazy girls... that if i can find one who isn't completely nuts... I'll keep her." The LARGEEEE majority of the girls i got with were nuts.... but this one isn't. I actually enjoy spending time with her and talking yada yada yada.... but school ends in 3 weeks.... and then there will be a 4 month summer break. We live 2 hours apart....

What should I do ?

Now maybe in writing this all down I'll gain some perspective on things myself... but I would appreciate some advice. I'm over the whole initial "lets see how many girls i can bang" phase... it truly does get old... and I've always respected women, even with one night stands. I've never had any sort of girlfriend... and am truly inexperienced here. Thanks guys....

 

[Maxtro]

I'm older but I'm the last person that should be giving you advice. Hell I should be asking you for it since you've basically done everything I've wanted to.

Anyways I'm bored so I'll post for the hell of it.

Since you just started college I'm assuming you are 18-19 years old. I think you are far to young to settle with a girl. The general consensus on this forum is that you shouldn't commit yourself to just one girl. The fact that she is two hours away will make it even more difficult. It's not something you need to deal with.

I'm sure you will have no trouble finding other girls to hook up with during the summer break. There is no point in putting yourself into an LDR.

BTW if you got time, make a post in my WTF, THIS is college? thread. I'd like to know what you did to turn college into a good experience for you.

 

[WC2]

You're too young and haven't gotten your nuts off enough to settle down with this chick.

But this doesn't mean that you can't keep talking with her.

I've had chicks who I've kept in touch with over summers before that would come down for weekends all the time. Hell, I even went up to her place once.

She's going to give you some sh!t for not settling down 100%, but you make sure you hold that threshold in which you aren't obligated to do ANYTHING for her. You and her are in effect, just f*ck buddies. It may seem like more when she comes to see you, but you make sure that you only let that sh!t go so far. Maybe when she's proved that she's dedicated enough, you can start thinking of her more seriously (much later on).

A lot of men look at this as f*cked up and wrong, but that's really far from the truth.

Most women are going to have summer flings with other dudes anyways and lets be honest; the chances of a college chick remaining loyal to you when you live 2 hours away is 50/50 at best.

When she's not around, enjoy the company of your friends and other women. Remember, you should have fun (even if it means breaking a chicks heart) at this age.. for the most part, there's more chicks breaking dudes hearts while we sit idly and remain 'loyal' for no reason at all.

We are young beings who just want fun and sex. Feed your need.

 

[muzicfreak2k3]

Thanks a lot for the responses guys. Yeah... I think I'll try to keep contact with her over the summer, visiting her and vice versa... but definitely keep myself open for other girls and still enjoying my summer.

Its just weird... cuz its honestly the longest I've ever hooked up with a single girl for.... evenmore so because I've only hooked up with her this semester(mainly because ive been EXTREMELYY busy between my fraternity position and hard classload).

I'm just trying to find a good balance.... and not having to worry every weekend about which girl I can hang out with makes things that much simpler lol.

Thanks again

 

[496 Alcamino]

Muzic-

Just a tip from someone who is as "older" as it gets.

At your age your "once in a lifetime" girl, comes along about every 5-6days or so.............

So go out there and do one for me. Make the old man proud!

 

[sodbuster]

IF she really is high quality,keep in touch. they are few and far between. When you get older, they are rarer than diamonds. The only single ones in their 40's are usually loaded with "issues". the good women tend to get and stay married-men aren't looking to trade them in on a newer model. Now if you just want sex,women are everywhere. BUT for a RELATIONSHIP? You are young,so you can find more if you screw up this one,but I wouldn't go out of my way to screw it up.[WHo knows, she may not be as good as you think-time will tell]

 

[sodbuster]

double post

 

[Poonani Maker]

I would go to church. There, with your knowledge of women now, you will be able to find a wife who will be committed and do most of the chores, and make you a happy man with children.

 

[muzicfreak2k3]

@ Poonani Maker - Haha I actully just got back from Easter mass today. And I'm not sure how going to church would help me make this decision, but it does make me feel good inside ;]

@ sodbuster - Yeah... the thing is I'm not sure exactly what i want. Scratch that.... I kinda want a relationship. Trouble is, I've never been in one before and haven't the slightest idea what it entails or even how to officially initiate one haha. What gets me... is that over the years, I've progressed from being practically asexual, to the one that all my friends at school go to for advice when they are trying to get girls. I'm "A-OK" when it comes to getting them... but relationships is another story lol. Like I said before... I'm over the whole initial "lets see how many broads i can bang" mentality... because with my busy life it does honestly get tiresome. I used to have the mentality like a bunch of guys on this board... "Why get into a relationship with someone at such a young age, especially if you KNOW its not gonna last till marriage." However, I figure I could use the experience and use it to grow as a person. Hell, the past 3-4 years have been the most intense, life-changing ones yet, and everything that I have done that has made me better, has required me stepping out of my comfort zone.
Now... I'm not even sure what this girl wants haha. I guess I'll have to talk to her soon to find out. I'm taking her to my fraternity formal to Canada this weekend, which will be nice, and I guess a little "test run" to see if i can put up with her for extended periods of time haha (ex: the busride... the hotel... all day sightseeing lol). Like i've said, I've been exclusive with her for over 3 months... things are getting a little more "lovey dovey" haha especally when she's drunk. And her friends are wanting to meet me... and for example last week when i met one she says "So are you too dating yet? ...Why not you look good together." Haha. Honestly i think right now I'm just rambling on and self-medicating by writing my situation down haha. But yeah, I'm definitely not going to go out of my way to screw this up... just kinda let it run its path.

@ Alcamino - Haha maybe, but I haven't found that many lol. Even though I'm part of a large campus, the majority of the girls I've hooked up with have proven themselves to be INSANE haha. Regardless, my "girl" mentality the past semester and a half has been "If i can find a girl who isn't completely off her knocker, I'll keep her around for a while"... and that's what I'm doing lol. And what exactly do you mean by "do her for you"..... do her as in bang her... or as in take the time to date her? Haha

Once again... thanks for the help guys, I really appreciate it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm not even sure what this girl wants haha. I guess I'll have to talk to her soon to find out.


No, you don't. She is telling you that she wants to be with you by her actions, such as lots of sex and introducing you to her friends. Words don't mean anything, anyway. Actions are all that matter.

I have had a lot of girlfriends and rarely been without one...yet I promise you not once have I ever initiated a talk, or outright asked a girl "will you be my girlfriend?" A girl will just keep hanging around more and more, until eventually she is the only girl I am seeing.

Asking for commitment is AFC behavior. If you are doing all of the right things, you should be the one provoking the AFC behavior out of her. She will ask you. Until then, don't bring it up.

 

[muzicfreak2k3]

Biblebelt - Thanks for the insight. Like i said before... I've never had a girlfriend and have no idea about how it would become "official" or whatever. Yes you are right, we have been spending a lot of time together, and even though we haven't spoken about being exclusive with one another, I'm pretty sure it is assumed... at least I know shes not getting with any other guys lol.

So I won't bring it up.... but here is where my initial question arose from. I have a good thing going.... wasn't going to "complicate / weird / who knowsss" things by having "a talk" with her.... but school ends in about 3-4 weeks and there is a 4 month summer break... and we live about 2 hours away from one another.....

 

[sodbuster]

The only thing I can tell you in a relationship is keep your identity-make sure there is a me-not just a we. Keep doing what you need to do in school and life-date her when you can. If you give up your life for her,even if she THINKS she wants it[she doesn't]-what do you have if she leaves? If you let her lose respect for you,you lose. When she wants to have "the talk" about where the relationship is heading,agree;BUT, set the ground rules. She doesn't have the right to run around flirting/passing out phone #'s to guys other than in a buisiness/class setting[where they have to work together/contacts for buisiness opportunities etc.]

The game never ends-you have to be the man at all times. If she has to be the man,she'll find one. BUT don't over think where the relationship is going stuff-women LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOve to do that,she'll probably bring it up before school is up if she's really into you.

 

[muzicfreak2k3]

Thanks for the insight Sodbuster. Yeah I've worked my ASS OFF the past 4 years to get where i am now, and have no intentions of letting that go. I'm not sure if your familiar with Tony Robbins or what he preaches.... but theres a concept of CANI (Constant And Never-ending Improvement)... basically saying there is no such thing as "staying the same" and if your not improving... your getting worse.
I've been applying it to all aspects of my life and plan on improving. And as far as changing my identity.... I won't for anyone haha.

But yeah I think Ill follow your advice and let her bring up the relationship stuff before school ends. Thanks