Asperger's Syndrome and eye contact

[nosexbox]

OK: first off, major AFC warning.

I've always had a problem with eye contact. I just can't do it... I glance at someone's eyes and I freak out. Lately I've been trying to hold it with people... but I get all self-conscious and look away. It feels like if I hold EC with someone it's like hitting on them or being too intimate.

Now, I'm reading about this newly discovered form of autism the other day - "Asperger's Syndrome". Apparently one of the major symptoms is difficulty making eye contact. I did have some of the other ones, and it seems to me as if I may have a very mild degree of this thing.

Many of these symptoms are social in nature... in addition to avoiding eye contact, there is a general dislike of physical contact, inability to understand or detect other's emotions, and difficulty in understanding social signals.

Many people with Asperger's end up in technical jobs that require little social contact.


Has anyone else heard of this? Does anyone else with EC problems think this could be an issue?

 

[Hound_of_Love]

Try reading, "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time" (google it) and see if you can relate.

It's possible you've got Aspergers but just as likely that you're socially awkward. Diagnoses over the Internet are next to useless.

 

[locarius]

Everyone tries to blame their social problems on a condition. You don't have Aspergers, you are just a nerd who needs to get out more.

I am saying this because I was too.

 

[nosexbox]

I figured I'd get that kind of a response.

This stuff exists, people. It's not like doctors make things up for fun (maybe for medication). I just get the impression reading this board that there are a lot of frustrated guys out there who may be dealing with things that are more significant than just a generalized aversion to girls.

I should clarify some details. I go out to bars and the such usually around twice a week. I work in the public and meet women constantly. I live in a city where the ratio of women to men is clearly in my favour.

I can engage in coversation with people no problem. They like me. I have heard from friends that many women I meet seem interested in me, but apparently I just don't notice.

Why?

I notice that when I make eye contact with people, particularly women, I freak out almost instantly and look down or away. This makes establishing any connection pretty tough.

It's no coincidence that practicing eye contact is the very first step in bootcamp. If EC was so easy, why would it even be there in the first place?

Clearly a lot of people that visit here have problems with it... I'm just trying to indicate that there IS a condition that could be the cause.

This DOESN'T mean you blame your problems with women on it and leave it at that. Don't misinterpret me, and don't give me that rah rah Alpha male bullsh*t. Not everyone on here (very few, I bet) is a sex AllStar.

 

[locarius]

Can I make a prediction?

You will look at this post in 6 months and go "What was I thinking"... IF you work hard and overcome your problems like the rest of us have.

OR

You can continue to justify it.

You sound just like me... 4 months ago. Women are interested in you naturally, but you need to build up the confidence to do something about it. I can consistantly hold eye contact with a HOT woman until she looks away. I can approach women without feeling that 'choke' sensation.

 

[uzio]

I can sorta relate.

I am a social neaderthal. Really. I show many of the Aspie symptomes and frankly I don't give a crap.

Aspie or not - social contact is a skill - it can be obtained, trained and mastered. The whole point of my presence on this board is to learn how to be more sociable - or simply how to tailor my social side to my needs.

and women... - they will come with time and practice. I hope

 

[diablo]

Step 1: Call the doctor's office and make an appointment.
Step 2: Have the doctor check to see if you have Asperger's.
Step 3: If you do have it, PM me and I'll unlock the thread.
Step 4: If you don't have it, practice looking people in the eyes.