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Asking if they have a boyfriend in the initial meeting

SXS

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I am on College right now, and I am meeting all kinds of girls. The big problem is that I can not focus on all of them. Since I want to find the ones who are single, should I ask directly if they have a boyfriend or should I wait more ? Also, how do I show a little interest early on without making them run away, just to show them that I am not looking for a friend.

For example, some time ago, I was aproaached by a hot girl, but the conversation went and now I don't know if she has a boyfriend or not.
After the fact I thought in a way to never let a situation like that happen again. It would go like this:

I stare her directly and when she responds to my look I say something like "most girls here are very shy and I found wierd that you came talk to me. Do you have a boyfriend ?"

What do you guys think ? Does that sound wussie ?
 

The Eurasian

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there was a tip on this site before that advises that you ask them what they like to do for fun instead of do you have a boyfriend. I've used this several times and i ussually get my questioned (Does she have a boyfriend) answered in there response
 

Tookie

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Yea or you could ask if they are single or not. Point and blant boyfriend or not if she wants to spend time with you she will. No matter what you ask her there is no magical way to ask or anything.
 

SparkleMotion

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Who cares if she has a boyfriend.

If you show that you don't care if they have a boyfriend (demonstrate that them sleeping with you won't result in being socially ostracised), more girls then you think will still be receptive. Of course not all, there are some good girls out there. But by still not worrying about them having a boyfriend and pressing forward in the initial onset, and continuing to do so even after she tells you "I have a boyfriend" (of course in a more subtle way, such as not continuing to ask her out on dates but being flirty whenever you see her), she will view you as a suitor and not a friend. So when she breaks up with that boyfriend of hers, she might just start acting on those "feelings" for you that she's been mulling over in her mind.

My conclusion/advice: Don't ask if she has a boyfriend. Let her tell you.
 

tsmith2334

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Asking her what she does for fun and letting her tell you works more often then it fails. It's a pretty good strategy.

Also, you can look for their profile on a social network site like Facebook or Myspace and see if they are in a relationship. That's not foolproof either though, they may not answer and leave it blank. Or it could say single when they are involved with someone, etc.

Still, you can try to get a feel for it.
 

Answers

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SparkleMotion said:
Who cares if she has a boyfriend.

If you show that you don't care if they have a boyfriend (demonstrate that them sleeping with you won't result in being socially ostracised), more girls then you think will still be receptive. Of course not all, there are some good girls out there. But by still not worrying about them having a boyfriend and pressing forward in the initial onset, and continuing to do so even after she tells you "I have a boyfriend" (of course in a more subtle way, such as not continuing to ask her out on dates but being flirty whenever you see her), she will view you as a suitor and not a friend. So when she breaks up with that boyfriend of hers, she might just start acting on those "feelings" for you that she's been mulling over in her mind.

My conclusion/advice: Don't ask if she has a boyfriend. Let her tell you.
Good advise! :up:

If they want you to know they'll tell you! Your job is to attract the girl and let her worry about HER boyfriend. If she does cheat then it says alot about her character!
 

royaltyw

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If they want you to know they'll tell you! Your job is to attract the girl and let her worry about HER boyfriend. If she does cheat then it says alot about her character!

Agreed.

I always let that tid bit of information come out in conversation, I never come out and ask because it's to easy for them to lie.
 

Mad Manic

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I wouldn't ask personally, you cut out the possibility of sexing the girl even if she has a bf. She may want it, but if you ask and she says yes then you've shot yourself in the foot. By asking the Q it makes out you want a gf, but then since she's taken, game over.

MM
 

Leporello

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No. It tips your hand.
 

nismo-4

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I know this much, it's an AFC move and you're trying to move too fast. You're gonna hit a brick wall going 93 buddy!

If you ask, you've displayed lower value and you placed her as the prize. You've made it harder if she doesn't have a bf, and your chances of hitting if she does are null.

Make her utter this fact. If it doesn't come up, go with the flow and hope for the best.
 

Tear Gas

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no, don't ask her if she has a bf..girls stay in relationships until something better comes along, so asking her if she has a bf will make her feel guilty about continuing to talk to you. It's basically shooting yourself in the foot. If a girl isnt interested, she'll let you know you she has a bf to make you back off..not always, but mostly. Actually, if a girl really likes you, she'll try to HIDE the fact that she has a bf ;)
 

nismo-4

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Tear Gas said:
no, don't ask her if she has a bf..girls stay in relationships until something better comes along, so asking her if she has a bf will make her feel guilty about continuing to talk to you. It's basically shooting yourself in the foot. If a girl isnt interested, she'll let you know you she has a bf to make you back off..not always, but mostly. Actually, if a girl really likes you, she'll try to HIDE the fact that she has a bf ;)
That's the answer!!!
 

zinc64

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SXS said:
I am on College right now, and I am meeting all kinds of girls. The big problem is that I can not focus on all of them. Since I want to find the ones who are single, should I ask directly if they have a boyfriend or should I wait more ? Also, how do I show a little interest early on without making them run away, just to show them that I am not looking for a friend.

For example, some time ago, I was aproaached by a hot girl, but the conversation went and now I don't know if she has a boyfriend or not.
After the fact I thought in a way to never let a situation like that happen again. It would go like this:

I stare her directly and when she responds to my look I say something like "most girls here are very shy and I found wierd that you came talk to me. Do you have a boyfriend ?"

What do you guys think ? Does that sound wussie ?

No!!! Why would you ask in the first place? Who cares. You are saying indirectly that you are planning on dating her or doing something with her. Who cares. You will know if she has a BF if you are doing it right.
 

Tenzen

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hmm, Heres a line i use on girls i just meet. I ask do u have a boyfriend? if she says yes or no it doesn't matter to me. If "yes" i say it'll be alot of fun stealing you away. If "no" i say aww i was hoping you had a boyfriend so i can have some fun stealing you away. I used it on a girl at a club that i didn't know while dancing with her. She said no she didn't have a boyfriend and i said my response. I number closed her, asked her out, but before she would go out with me she was asking tons i mean tons of questions like how many girlfriends do you have? are u a player? She wanted to know everything about me right away. She wouldn't leave me alone, lol, and this is before i went on a date with her which by the way was great =).
 
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