Ask Me Anything

[BPH]

Thanks, "just take a shot and see if you score" is a much better mentality than maybe she likes me maybe not.

I am trying, baby steps and all that.

Everybody starts somewhere. I was kind of a loser up until midway through high school; I was tall but I was skinny, didn't work out, just finished having braces, hadn't even kissed a girl or had a girlfriend, played a lot of video games, and didn't have very cool friends.

I made a conscious effort to start going to the gym and began spending some time getting out of my comfort zone by cold approaching girls.

Honestly, you can get very far just by doing those 2 things. By going to the gym you'll become healthier and more attractive, and you'll have a better "package" to market to the girls you go up to. And by going up to them you'll eliminate approach anxiety while building true confidence to the point where you become immune to rejection, and you'll become more comfortable having these conversations and escalating with these women.

It's just a matter of doing the thing that scares you, until it doesn't.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

This is mostly aimed at the new guys and lurkers, but anybody feel free to chime in and I'll do my best to give you an accurate answer, even if it doesn't paint me in the best light.

Maybe you could describe to the new lurkers how to best stimulate the g-spot. Something that would increase their chances on getting a second date.

 

[BPH]

Maybe you could describe to the new lurkers how to best stimulate the g-spot. Something that would increase their chances on getting a second date.

There used to be an unironically good video for this on "the Hub" called "how to eat p****", instructed by p***stars. It's really not a bad place to start, but I don't think it's there anymore. Truth be told, I learned how by practicing on a plate I met as a freshman in college who was waiting for marriage for full sex. She would only blow me, so I figure if there was somebody that I didn't care to lose if I were bad at this, it would be her. Thankfully I turned out to be pretty good.

That said, I think it's more worthwhile to be good at fingering, since you'll likely be doing that more often. Stirling Cooper has a pretty good video on YouTube describing and giving a visualization of how it works, but essentially you want to create the "rock n roll" salute with your hand where the middle finger (and later, the ring finger...remember foreplay is a thing, so ease into it) are inside, while your index and pinky finger are on the outside pointed down. The general idea is to create a "hook" with your middle and ring finger inside of her while leveraging the rest of your arm to move that "hook" up and down inside of her, which will be pressing her g-spot.

Mix it up a little bit with penetration using those fingers, or rubbing her c***, and start off slow, then gradually speed up and insert your ring finger as you feel her get more wet and when she starts having more "vocal" and "animated" reactions to what you're doing. You'll usually know she's done when her legs clench real hard, start spasming, and you'll have a slight warm feeling envelop your fingers. The ONS from Philadelphia I described earlier said it was the hottest thing that I did that to her and stopped when she finished because I knew she had came before she told me.

As far as the sex itself, that's going to be personal preference, and every girl is different. Missionary can be good if you incorporate some choking, have her legs up on your shoulders, a pillow under her butt to go a little deeper, etc. Cowgirl is also good because that lets them really have control over exactly what works best for them. There are some other goodies but my best advice would simply be to take control; pin her arms, physically move her into the position you want her in, choke her, pull her hair, spank her, grab her boobs, let her suck your fingers, do SOMETHING with your hands.

There's a lot of nuance here, but hope I helped. The fingering bit is especially useful.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

There used to be an unironically good video for this on "the Hub" called "how to eat p****", instructed by p***stars. It's really not a bad place to start, but I don't think it's there anymore. Truth be told, I learned how by practicing on a plate I met as a freshman in college who was waiting for marriage for full sex. She would only blow me, so I figure if there was somebody that I didn't care to lose if I were bad at this, it would be her. Thankfully I turned out to be pretty good.

That said, I think it's more worthwhile to be good at fingering, since you'll likely be doing that more often. Stirling Cooper has a pretty good video on YouTube describing and giving a visualization of how it works, but essentially you want to create the "rock n roll" salute with your hand where the middle finger (and later, the ring finger...remember foreplay is a thing, so ease into it) are inside, while your index and pinky finger are on the outside pointed down. The general idea is to create a "hook" with your middle and ring finger inside of her while leveraging the rest of your arm to move that "hook" up and down inside of her, which will be pressing her g-spot.

Mix it up a little bit with penetration using those fingers, or rubbing her c***, and start off slow, then gradually speed up and insert your ring finger as you feel her get more wet and when she starts having more "vocal" and "animated" reactions to what you're doing. You'll usually know she's done when her legs clench real hard, start spasming, and you'll have a slight warm feeling envelop your fingers. The ONS from Philadelphia I described earlier said it was the hottest thing that I did that to her and stopped when she finished because I knew she had came before she told me.

As far as the sex itself, that's going to be personal preference, and every girl is different. Missionary can be good if you incorporate some choking, have her legs up on your shoulders, a pillow under her butt to go a little deeper, etc. Cowgirl is also good because that lets them really have control over exactly what works best for them. There are some other goodies but my best advice would simply be to take control; pin her arms, physically move her into the position you want her in, choke her, pull her hair, spank her, grab her boobs, let her suck your fingers, do SOMETHING with your hands.

There's a lot of nuance here, but hope I helped. The fingering bit is especially useful.

Most girls I’ve been with want to get to the main course ASAP. However. There have been a fair number that love being fingered. My GF two iterations ago was one. When we were together I went online and accessed some resources about fingering. It made a difference. At one point she complemented me on it. And. TBH. I’m not a huge fingering fan.

 

[BadBoy89]

- I'm 30, I live with my parents in Delaware
- I'm white, 6ft tall, about 205 lbs, ripped and natural (no gear)
- I would consider myself quite good-looking
- I can and will change the fact that I'm poor and live at home.
- I've slept with 93 women

To make the math Sexy, lets say you started at 22 and slept with 96 women.
96 / 8 = 12 women per year.

So since 2016, you have slept with a new women EVERY MONTH for 8 years while having living with your parents and having NO money.

- I am as a person; honest, upfront, I mean what I say

That's funny, I'm honest and upfront too and they tell me to go to hell.

I'm still semi-regularly visiting and sleeping with her and have received numerous apologies and appreciation from her on how hard I tried to make things work with her, recognizing how difficult she was to me.

You have a hot girl who you are regularly making love to and apologizing to you despite the fact you have no money and live with mom and dad?

Bro you pushed it. Argument collapsed.

 

[BPH]

To make the math Sexy, lets say you started at 22 and slept with 96 women.
96 / 8 = 12 women per year.

So since 2016, you have slept with a new women EVERY MONTH for 8 years while having living with your parents and having NO money.



That's funny, I'm honest and upfront too and they tell me to go to hell.



You have a hot girl who you are regularly making love to and apologizing to you despite the fact you have no money and live with mom and dad?

Bro you pushed it. Argument collapsed.

So I lost my virginity when I was 17, a couple of months from 18, so we can round that to 12 years. 93/12=7.75 so just under 8 new women per year.

Of that number, probably about half came before I graduated college. It was definitely easier then because of the logistics, and everybody's poor so money isn't an issue.

I don't have "no money", I just don't make much at my job because I started with a part-time job that allowed me the flexibility to work on side ventures such as my acting/modeling pursuits, Facebook advertising for local small business, ERC outreach post-pandemic, and what I'm working on now. I started working full-time and through that job I make just under $47k/year. Nowhere near where I want to be, and not great, but I don't have "no money".

As far as my character, I say I'm honest because I don't lie, I don't manipulate, I don't gaslight, and I try to avoid toxicity and drama. The more women I'm with the more often I hear stories about how much the average guy sucks; constantly blowing their phones up, being terrible in bed, going through each other's phones, worrying about the other cheating, showing up unannounced, etc. And I'd say I'm blunt and upfront because I'm too lazy to sugarcoat things for other people - some people don't like that about me, but I don't like some people, so it evens out.

What argument?

Let me see if I have this correct...you think that because I'm poor and live at home with my parents that a hot girl I dated for almost a year wouldn't be willing to continue sleeping with me (at her place, obviously) and wouldn't feel remorse for mistreating me in a toxic relationship where she laments that I'm the only guy to break up with her?

Like I've said before, I do not care whether you believe me. I gain absolutely nothing from it. I'm just here offering to help guys who have the goal of being where I'm at with women; being able to casually sleep with multiple hot women without having to be in committed relationships with them.

You don't have to be here.

 

[SW15]

So I lost my virginity when I was 17, a couple of months from 18, so we can round that to 12 years. 93/12=7.75 so just under 8 new women per year.

Of that number, probably about half came before I graduated college. It was definitely easier then because of the logistics, and everybody's poor so money isn't an issue.

I don't recall ever seeing you comment on this thread below.

You had some good experience in college.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

A good looking guy who is fit and has strong verbal abilities/personality traits would be able to do well at a large public university. Large public universities tend to have some of the best scenes around sex. I think you attended a large public university.

Did you finish college in the standard 4 year time frame or did it take you 5?

I don't have "no money", I just don't make much at my job because I started with a part-time job that allowed me the flexibility to work on side ventures such as my acting/modeling pursuits, Facebook advertising for local small business, ERC outreach post-pandemic, and what I'm working on now. I started working full-time and through that job I make just under $47k/year. Nowhere near where I want to be, and not great, but I don't have "no money".

I used some cost of living calculators as a guide to help me understand your money situation.

Wilmington, DE is in the Northeastern United States. The Northeast has some very high cost of living areas, such as Washington D.C., Philadelphia, Boston, suburban New Jersey, and New York City. Wilmington and Delaware as a whole is likely one of the least expensive areas in that region.

According to the cost of living calculator, Wilmington is more expensive than Dallas, TX. Your $47K is Wilmington is like $43-44K in Dallas. You could easily get an adequate 2 bedroom place in Dallas with a 25-30 year old unmarried guy as a 30 year old unmarried guy in Dallas with $43-44K annual earnings. There's a good chance the situation is the same in Wilmington. Why not live with a random unmarried guy instead of your parents?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

So I lost my virginity when I was 17, a couple of months from 18, so we can round that to 12 years. 93/12=7.75 so just under 8 new women per year.

I'm sorry I have to bring you this news, but you're a sloot.

On the other hand, I'm probably a bigger sloot than you are, so don't take it as criticism.

 

[BPH]

I don't recall ever seeing you comment on this thread below.

You had some good experience in college.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

A good looking guy who is fit and has strong verbal abilities/personality traits would be able to do well at a large public university. Large public universities tend to have some of the best scenes around sex. I think you attended a large public university.

Did you finish college in the standard 4 year time frame or did it take you 5?



I used some cost of living calculators as a guide to help me understand your money situation.

Wilmington, DE is in the Northeastern United States. The Northeast has some very high cost of living areas, such as Washington D.C., Philadelphia, Boston, suburban New Jersey, and New York City. Wilmington and Delaware as a whole is likely one of the least expensive areas in that region.

According to the cost of living calculator, Wilmington is more expensive than Dallas, TX. Your $47K is Wilmington is like $43-44K in Dallas. You could easily get an adequate 2 bedroom place in Dallas with a 25-30 year old unmarried guy as a 30 year old unmarried guy in Dallas with $43-44K annual earnings. There's a good chance the situation is the same in Wilmington. Why not live with a random unmarried guy instead of your parents?

Yeah, so I went to UNCW for 2 years before transferring back home to UD. I sprained my ankle REALLY bad playing a game of pickup football and had to be taken to the ER to get a boot and crutches - I was told that if I had broken it there would've been a SHORTER healing process. Couldn't really get around for a week or two so one of my parents had to come down and take care of me. After that, they preferred that if something like that happened again that I'd be closer to home, and there was nothing keeping me there at that point.

Because of that, I did graduate in 4 years, but I had to take summer and winter sessions both years to finish on time.

As far as the living situation, I've been reading some money books and I'm debating on doing something more drastic, since my issue might be that I'm juggling my time with my crappy job and don't have enough pressure to make my business work.

I'm sorry I have to bring you this news, but you're a sloot.

On the other hand, I'm probably a bigger sloot than you are, so don't take it as criticism.

Haha none taken, I freely admit to being a manwh***, I chose it after all.

 

[DJProtégèEB]

What's going on, thanks for doing an AMA @BPH .

When it comes to attraction, some 7+ women are insufferable. Could have the best features: ass, tits, face, legs, etc, but I can't stand being around them. It could be their attitude that's off, sometimes it's their personality, other times they are just crazy. As soon as my brain catches wind of the turn offs, "junior" is checked out. So my question is, do you turn that part of the brain off just to get a lay? And if so, how on earth do you do that?

 

[BPH]

What's going on, thanks for doing an AMA @BPH .

When it comes to attraction, some 7+ women are insufferable. Could have the best features: ass, tits, face, legs, etc, but I can't stand being around them. It could be their attitude that's off, sometimes it's their personality, other times they are just crazy. As soon as my brain catches wind of the turn offs, "junior" is checked out. So my question is, do you turn that part of the brain off just to get a lay? And if so, how on earth do you do that?

That's a good one actually...

Yeah if by "'junior' is checked out" you mean you can't get hard, that's one thing - you can't fake attraction.

However, if you're asking whether I'd still try to f*** a woman who I'm attracted to, but not vibing with, then yes.

Mentally I just chalk it up as this woman is for recreational purposes only, and while I may still try to sleep with them in the moment, it doesn't mean I'll revisit them. The plate I mentioned within the last year from Tinder was very attractive, but she talked a LOT...we had a casual FWB relationship and would only have sex once most times I visited, but I would be there for 3+ hours while she talked TO me rather than WITH me. In that case, I had to initiate the sex to remind her why I was there and come up with an excuse to leave to avoid being rude and cutting her off.

Stuff like that does happen, but usually, I try to fixate on a positive, and then after the fact, I try to gauge whether it would be worth going through again. I don't know if this is a useful answer, because it's a hard question to answer as I don't really have a process I default to when I come across something like this. As long as they're not completely insufferable and I'm attracted to them, I'll push through some BS just to find out if it was worth it on the other side.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Do you have BPH?

Is there a SoSuave coupon code for Flomax???

 

[DJProtégèEB]

@BPH I appreciate the answer man!

recreational purposes only

That's where my old blue pill brain crops up. Been trying hard to get out of that old way of thinking; that ALL women want marriage and some nice guy to settle down with. The struggle I have is conveying that to them, that yes, you can give into those sexual urges and not feel like a slut, while still holding that "dream" in the back of your heads.

Do you have any insights on that aspect, after being intimate with them?

 

[BPH]

Is there a SoSuave coupon code for Flomax???

If somebody finds one I'll make it my profile pic.

@BPH I appreciate the answer man!



That's where my old blue pill brain crops up. Been trying hard to get out of that old way of thinking; that ALL women want marriage and some nice guy to settle down with. The struggle I have is conveying that to them, that yes, you can give into those sexual urges and not feel like a slut, while still holding that "dream" in the back of your heads.

Do you have any insights on that aspect, after being intimate with them?

I'm a little confused by your question, are you asking how to convey to a woman that it's ok for her to be a slut with you, while still wanting the nice guy to settle down with at the end?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The struggle I have is conveying that to them, that yes, you can give into those sexual urges and not feel like a slut, while still holding that "dream" in the back of your heads.

Don't tell her she's A slut, but tell her she's YOUR slut.

 

[BoostedArrow]

I'll admit, I'm a little tipsy because I've got my brother visiting and he decided it would be fun to buy a bottle of wine and Tito's to sip this random Tuesday night.

That being said, I figure this might be a good way for some of the newer guys to ask questions they might have about self-improvement and picking up girls. Not so much a "what do I do in THIS situation", but rather a "what do I do in THESE situations" kinda thing. Maybe I'll have some good replies to offer up while I'm here sipping/while I'm at work tomorrow during some quiet time.

Just so you know whom you're asking these questions:

I'm 30, I live with my parents in Delaware. I'm white, 6ft tall, about 205 lbs, ripped and natural (no gear), and I've slept with 93 women if I've kept count properly. I would consider myself quite good-looking, probably around a high 7 or low 8 on a scale of 1-10, depending on whether I'm being compared to guys in my area or guys in places like LA. However, I've only been in committed relationships with 3 of those women, so admittedly I'm not the best at answering relationship/marriage questions. I'm also probably not the best person to ask for financial advice, considering I'm still figuring it out for myself while living at home in this crappy little state.

This is mostly aimed at the new guys and lurkers, but anybody feel free to chime in and I'll do my best to give you an accurate answer, even if it doesn't paint me in the best light.

How does one become hot?

 

[BPH]

How does one become hot?

Work out and adopt a healthy diet. Not something you'll do for a little while, but something you can essentially do forever.

I work out 4 times per week for about 60-90 minutes each time, 20 minutes of cardio separate from that 4 times per week as well, and I'll up that to 5x30 when it gets closer to beach season. Don't take shortcuts with this, I'm natural and I would fully suggest staying that way. A lot more people than you think are on "gear", another word for steroids, and other enhancements like tren/SARMs, etc. Unless you plan to compete, I would not risk the health complications of those.

I eat the same 6 foods every day, around the same time every day, and in the same quantity every day. I cheat on occasion, but it's usually a meal rather than a day's worth of bad choices. You don't have to do ALL that, intermittent fasting and a solid workout routine will get you plenty far.

Brush your teeth and floss. I had braces in middle school and I noticed that a lot of people either have f***ed up/yellowed teeth or went and got veneers.

Practice good hygiene; shower, shave, wash your hair, trim your godda** junk.

Don't smoke. I have had 1 or 2 cigars in my life for celebration, never in my life smoked a cigarette, and don't like getting high, so I stick to alcohol. I don't smoke weed or vape, and I've also never had hard drugs and would mostly suggest doing the same. As far as alcohol I mostly take shots of stuff that doesn't have sugar (Captain Morgan, vodkas), and when I'm out and having a mixed drink I'll ask for a diet version of the mix (hilarious I know).

If you have glasses I strongly suggest getting Lasik. I found out I was nearsighted in high school, couldn't get contacts in, and was too embarrassed to wear glasses up until college. Once I graduated, my parents got me the surgery as a gift and it is definitely up there with committing to health and fitness as one of the best decisions I ever made...it is AMAZING to be able to wake up and go to sleep with 20/20 vision. Clearly it didn't impact my notch count in college having glasses, but I love not needing them. Girls used to think it was funny/cute when we would be making out because they knew once I took the glasses off that it was going to "get serious".

 

[Hamurabimbi]

How does one become hot?

Hot parents.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

How does one become hot?

Set yourself on fire.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

Well, the 2:30AM slightly tipsy version of me thought this would be a much more interesting idea than it turned out to be.

Oh well, I'll stick with it and see how I can help.



It definitely has. I've gone out less, tried to save more, and my main concern is making something work on the financial side of things so I can move out of my parent's and stay out this time. Post COVID a lot of spots that were good for meeting women now aren't, girls on dating apps tend to either be bots or quite literally match with whoever they swipe right on, and I'm probably a little too old to be at the college bars now (my age seemed to be an issue 2 or 3 years ago, so it's definitely not better now). Plus I don't live close to any good spots, so just to have the CHANCE to run into somebody cute requires a good bit of traveling and time investment, beyond the cost of bars and drinks.

That said, off the top of my head I can think of 4 notches I added over the course of the last year and a half; a girl that I've known since college who had recently become single when I was at the beach for my vacation, a girl from Tinder who I'd matched with a few times but never did a good job following up until this year because she was on and off with another guy from the year before, a random Bumble match from Philadelphia, and a girl who had recently turned 21 at the bar when we met around Halloween.

Outside of that I'd had semi-regular sex with my ex and recently had an old plate become single again and hit me up the day before my birthday NY trip. Almost turned her down because I was expecting to either bang my ex or a random in NY that weekend, glad I didn't since that ended up being a dry weekend.



This is a hard question to answer because there are a lot of nonverbal cues and leading up to this that definitely matter when it comes to how far you can push things...

Is it daytime or night time? Are you both loosened up (had a couple drinks, been flirty in the pool, touchy, conversation isn't forced, etc)? Is she sitting close to you or is there some distance? There's a LOT of "setup" here.

But basically I'd probably sit on the couch, put my arm around her. If she leans towards me, great. Watch the movie for a little bit, then during a quiet moment (probably NOT going to get her attention during a particularly action or emotional scene if she seems to actually be invested in it) I'd hook her chin and bring her to me for a kiss. Depending on how receptive or "into it" she is, keep escalating from there.

Be touchy but don't immediately start going for bases; neck kisses, pulling her hair at the nape of her neck, BE A GOOD KISSER. Like make it a point to be good at this stuff...my plate that hit me up before my birthday, she said I was her favorite...the girl from Bumble in Philadelphia said she usually has to fake it when I got her off with just my fingers...like put some effort into pleasing your girl, and if you don't know how, look up how.

Anyway...continue escalating, hit the bases over the clothes, then under the clothes, obviously only if she's receptive. Take off her clothes FIRST, and if all that is smooth sailing only then do you pull your sh** out (unless she rushes to pull it out for you, in which case you've got a green light).

Obviously if she's not receptive to any of this you can slow down and recalibrate to ease into things, but don't be pushy or forceful if she's not down.



Yep, but it's not too common and it's often not the women that I'm attracted too, but I'm always nice and try to let them down easy if that's the case. The thai girl in NY from my recent post opened me - came up to me and told me I was handsome. I thought the guy with her was her man, but she cut out the middleman from there.






You don't have to believe me, I've got nothing to prove here. I'm just offering to help some of the guys that have questions about this stuff because while I'm not the best with relationships or money, there's not a lot of people I know who sleep around with attractive women as often as I do - anybody I know with a high notch count sleeps with whoever they can, whether that be a 7 or a 3, and anybody I know who sleeps with an attractive woman has been exclusively dating her for several years.

On a serious note, why haven't you moved out from your parents house? Have they told you anything?

I don't know how yo do it honestly, but I couldn't wait to get my first job after graduation to move thr fvck out of my parents house and live by my own rules.