As Donjuan do we become more self-absorbed?

[Canadien]

I know today, I'm more social, and have better social and conversationalist skills due to approach of never backing down from a challenge, and ability to chat with pretty much anyone, yet my cousins and close friends are starting to complaint that I become too much involved with strangers and don't give them enough attention...

And, considering I was very introverted, and family oriented until last year, I can understand their frustration when I start talking to everyone at almost anywhere, so how would you guys tackle this situation?

Should I make my brother and close friends happy by giving them complete attention, or is approach of being open to everyone, and always having fun with anyone a viable option?

What would you choose?

 

[Mr. Wise]

Balance. Why does it have to be all or nothing? I'd spend the majority of the time with my friends of course. If I see a hottie, that's when it's time to DJ. Why go around talking to everyone when you came with your friends? Are you in DJ training or something? Stick to your friends dude, they have your back. If I was your friends and you spent most or all of your time with strangers on a night out with the boys, I'd no longer call you up to go out.

 

[Jitterbug]

To the question in the title: no. I think we become more self-aware.

Your situation is a familiar one to those who are improving themselves. You are changing and those close to you can sense it. Many people have a crabs in a bucket mentality so when they feel that you're improving yourself and achieving success, subconsciously they will try to drag you down back to where you were and where they are at.

Think about it. If you're happy with your improvements and enjoying doing it, your family and close friends should be happy for you, right? The ones who are complaining are just trying to drain your energy by being AWs.

I've had this crap before. I'm very different now than when I first started down the road of the game - at the core I'm the same, but I'm a much improved version compared to then. Based on the reactions of those close to me, I could tell who my true friends are and who the dead weights are. You have your own life to lead. Keep doing what you want to do and ignore the whiners.

Having said that, don't burn any bridge, and there's always something you can do to avoid that. I have some friends who are introverts and not very good at socialising. When we interact with other people, I always take the lead then work out a way to involve my friends. They may not be great at initiating things but they can hold their own when they're warmed up and given some leads. When you're out with your brother or friends, don't socialise with others at the expense of excluding your own crew from the interaction.

 

[PrinceBeavis]

I know people who are seriously social with every person wherever they go.
While it's great to be social, there's a point where it just becomes annoying, embarrassing, and frankly, just makes the super-social person look "spun-out," like a switch in their brain is stuck in the 'on' position. People just wonder what's wrong with that person. ....It's just the opposite of being a recluse.

 

[Interceptor]

Giving people 'attention' , especially the respectful and correct amount of attention is all dependent on your ability to be PRESENT and GROUNDED, in addition to having enough EMOTIONAL RESOURCES to do so.

People whom are very introverted, shy, and are socially awkward and withdrawn are usually demonstrating out ward signs that they do not have enough internal EMOTIONAL RESOURCES. Thus, people eventually do not associaite with them (Shy, socially withdrawn and overly reserved people) since they feel they have nothing to 'give'.