TheException
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2013
- Messages
- 1,116
- Reaction score
- 112
Every man on these forums has and will....argue with women.
And before I hear the "hey, you must mess around with low quality women....I never fight with my gf"......let me be frank.....you are full of sh1t and nobody here has time for it. Getting into arguments is a very commonplace event and two people disagreeing about something is going to happen. From time to time, one individual in the relationship will hurt the other one(usually unintentional). Whether that is emotionally or physical in nature. These are events that will lead to an argument. So don't give the internet tough talk about how you don't ever fight......instead, add to the conversation and help other men if you can.
So let's set up a quick guide of how to navigate the argument waters:
PHASE 1 - ACCUSATION/EMOTIONAL PEAK
Every argument starts with an accusation...
-"Your so mean"
-"Are you fvcking kidding me? Did you just do that?"
-"Why are you talking to that girl?"
-"Your lazy"
-etc
This is actually the phase MOST MEN MESS UP! This is the phase where the woman will just unload. Yell, curse, scream, act crazy, etc. Your job.....is to fvcking listen(75% listen if your alpha) and to de-escalate the emotional level. This is done very simply by stating some version of :
"I want you to tell me why you feel that way. I'll just listen". Said with a non-interested tone and looking directly in eyes. Almost always will bring the woman down to your calm emotional level as opposed to escalated her emotional level. Most men yell and scream back! That raises the intensity of emotions and thus the argument. Makes zero sense.....unless you actually like to argue with your significant other.
PHASE 2- COUNTER OR END IT
After she finishes, you either say "Ok, got it." or it is at this point where you can introduce what you have been holding your tongue on. Because let's face it, women are wrong too. But you can never argue your logic vs her emotion in the first stage, that will only emotionally escalate it. This phase she will be more calm and much more open to feedback. You may even get a "Do you have anything you want to say?"
And if you want to give your opinions, don't make it sound like a checklist. "This is wrong, and this is wrong. Oh and your being dumb about this and this". Just say something like "I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. I think you take things too personally sometimes. But I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to get it off your chest". Then it's over. No more swords or weapons, sheathe them.
PHILOSOPHY
And.....I've just lost half the audience I am sure. But, it is important to understand the "why" behind action. Sure some people will just read the steps above and check out of this article without reading this section, but they will fail in their next argument. Because their mindset isn't not matching.....
To any man that wants to deduce that women are "manipulative", "selfish", "evil", "mean spirited", etc.....you have so far to go. One only thinks of women in this light, when they do NOT understand them. Once you do....everything is cake. When it come to LTR Game....I fully subscribe to Rollo Tomassi's ratio of: beta beta alpha. For every 2 "beta" things you do....do an "alpha" thing. And for me, "beta" does not mean act like a chump or do things that will result in lowering your wife/gf attraction lol. More like:
-Saying hi and hugging the kids
-Kissing the wife, saying I love you
-Asking "how was your day".
-Playing with kids in yard
-Playing with the dog
-etc
They are probably not even "beta" in your eyes. But in the scope of a relationship, these are the things that make a woman yearn for you. Like makes her feel all lovey dovey and sh1t. That's what I mean by "beta". "Alpha" would be like Don Draper alpha.
-Rejecting her request because you dont want to do it
-Disciplining children
-Getting irritated/disappointed
-Ignoring wife in favor of football game on TV
-Etc
These are more of your "because I want to" activities. While the "beta" activities are more of your "best for the family" activities.
Why am I going into all of this?
Well because there is the incorrect mindset that ignoring women and yelling back is "alpha". That is not. That will only harm the relationship. Believe it or not, but once you are in a LTR, you actually have to give a sh1t about the others involved. Doesn't mean you are a beta bux by any stretch! It just means you have others to think about now. So do yourself and the relationship a favor.....when she has one of her "big blowups".....don't ignore her and continue to drink your bud light while watching your favorite baseball team. Instead....show her you give a damn and do as prescribed above. Women actually want to know if you care enough to engage them.
Do it from the correct mindset. NEVER argue from a supplicating mindset.
And before I hear the "hey, you must mess around with low quality women....I never fight with my gf"......let me be frank.....you are full of sh1t and nobody here has time for it. Getting into arguments is a very commonplace event and two people disagreeing about something is going to happen. From time to time, one individual in the relationship will hurt the other one(usually unintentional). Whether that is emotionally or physical in nature. These are events that will lead to an argument. So don't give the internet tough talk about how you don't ever fight......instead, add to the conversation and help other men if you can.
So let's set up a quick guide of how to navigate the argument waters:
PHASE 1 - ACCUSATION/EMOTIONAL PEAK
Every argument starts with an accusation...
-"Your so mean"
-"Are you fvcking kidding me? Did you just do that?"
-"Why are you talking to that girl?"
-"Your lazy"
-etc
This is actually the phase MOST MEN MESS UP! This is the phase where the woman will just unload. Yell, curse, scream, act crazy, etc. Your job.....is to fvcking listen(75% listen if your alpha) and to de-escalate the emotional level. This is done very simply by stating some version of :
"I want you to tell me why you feel that way. I'll just listen". Said with a non-interested tone and looking directly in eyes. Almost always will bring the woman down to your calm emotional level as opposed to escalated her emotional level. Most men yell and scream back! That raises the intensity of emotions and thus the argument. Makes zero sense.....unless you actually like to argue with your significant other.
PHASE 2- COUNTER OR END IT
After she finishes, you either say "Ok, got it." or it is at this point where you can introduce what you have been holding your tongue on. Because let's face it, women are wrong too. But you can never argue your logic vs her emotion in the first stage, that will only emotionally escalate it. This phase she will be more calm and much more open to feedback. You may even get a "Do you have anything you want to say?"
And if you want to give your opinions, don't make it sound like a checklist. "This is wrong, and this is wrong. Oh and your being dumb about this and this". Just say something like "I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. I think you take things too personally sometimes. But I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to get it off your chest". Then it's over. No more swords or weapons, sheathe them.
PHILOSOPHY
And.....I've just lost half the audience I am sure. But, it is important to understand the "why" behind action. Sure some people will just read the steps above and check out of this article without reading this section, but they will fail in their next argument. Because their mindset isn't not matching.....
To any man that wants to deduce that women are "manipulative", "selfish", "evil", "mean spirited", etc.....you have so far to go. One only thinks of women in this light, when they do NOT understand them. Once you do....everything is cake. When it come to LTR Game....I fully subscribe to Rollo Tomassi's ratio of: beta beta alpha. For every 2 "beta" things you do....do an "alpha" thing. And for me, "beta" does not mean act like a chump or do things that will result in lowering your wife/gf attraction lol. More like:
-Saying hi and hugging the kids
-Kissing the wife, saying I love you
-Asking "how was your day".
-Playing with kids in yard
-Playing with the dog
-etc
They are probably not even "beta" in your eyes. But in the scope of a relationship, these are the things that make a woman yearn for you. Like makes her feel all lovey dovey and sh1t. That's what I mean by "beta". "Alpha" would be like Don Draper alpha.
-Rejecting her request because you dont want to do it
-Disciplining children
-Getting irritated/disappointed
-Ignoring wife in favor of football game on TV
-Etc
These are more of your "because I want to" activities. While the "beta" activities are more of your "best for the family" activities.
Why am I going into all of this?
Well because there is the incorrect mindset that ignoring women and yelling back is "alpha". That is not. That will only harm the relationship. Believe it or not, but once you are in a LTR, you actually have to give a sh1t about the others involved. Doesn't mean you are a beta bux by any stretch! It just means you have others to think about now. So do yourself and the relationship a favor.....when she has one of her "big blowups".....don't ignore her and continue to drink your bud light while watching your favorite baseball team. Instead....show her you give a damn and do as prescribed above. Women actually want to know if you care enough to engage them.
Do it from the correct mindset. NEVER argue from a supplicating mindset.
