"Are you mad?"

speed dawg

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Any of you watch "Real Housewives of Orange County"? Same sh1t is going on with that chick Joe and the guy Slade. He's got the DJ talk down but not the inner game. She's trying to piss him off by saying she's moving, so he'll get mad, thus will give her a big head and push her away from him. I've come to the realization that girls give these sh1t tests not knowing that if a guy fails them, she loses attraction. Girls are so friggin predictable.
 

A-Unit

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Re:

Unless someone from Eharmony can confirm this...NO, it will never end. The games change, but the tactics and outcomes remain the same. The women might get older, but their tactics just mature (Unless you find some spiritually enlightened hippy).

So what's the solution?

For men (not implying you VP), need to be better. Period. End of story. Recognize the BS and cut it off.

THIS IS YOUR REALITY YOUR reality.

Bottom line YOUR reality.

If you don't want crappy nightly news talking about some weird astronaut woman in dipers invading your reality with that nonsense, delete it. Act like a fool who ignores the stuff people give attention to. Be delusional and include ONLY what you want. People wonder why stuff increases in this univerise of our's. Because we FOCUS, INTEND, and GIVE POWER to it.

An XGF or a flake GETS no power without your attention, and his is precisely what she wanted from you...admission that you were giving her power, confirmation of her feminine guile. Were this Star Wars, I'd say she lives and feeds off negative emotion to get her power. I can sense it, because if a person comes from that angle for any relationship, do they even want a relationship, or is it some ego/power trip they seek?

Guys *may* win that battle, only by giving in, and then you have no power, no identity, and you're merely an emotional play thing she knows that she can *bat* around.

IMO, you only have to PLAY the game for as long as it takes the OTHER person to recognize you KNOW there's a game, and you know how to play it. Occasionally you'll have to step up and prove you're worth, but it dies down. A person who doesn't stop, is a PLAYER. They love the game for the game. Other women just want to know what your knowledge is of the game, and when they're confident in it and your knowledge of it, they bang you. They "SUBMIT." Hence the tests. The tests are a way for them to determine that.

What's your reality?

Will you ALLOW into your reality women who represent something you don't respect or want?

Alot of guys KEEP women who do things they don't like, *hoping* they'll change. You know what? You're CONFIRMING that you're ok with her behavior by ACCEPTING it. It's like a little girl, doing things people know they don't like, but b/c she's a little girl, nobody has the heart to be strong and correct and so for the longest time she feels it's ok what she does, when she truly doesn't know right or wrong because nobody has set any boundaries. Make sense? Ok good. Don't any guy here be the married guy who eats crow from his woman EVERY night.

I've never understood why the person/woman a man DOES give his life for (life = money, time, resources, legal agreements, possibly children, career, sacrifice/investment of other opportunities, etc) thinks they can really ever come at him harshly, unless OTHERWISE justified in doing so. Make sense? If a woman engages me with any tone of harshness or rudeness like...

"Where were you?"
"Why didn't you pick up?"
"You never..."

I trump that right there and then, here and now.

One, if you don't, you set a precedent she'll follow. If you tell her once answers to questions I buy as rude, then she'll use that as example and do it again. My logic...I don't owe her anything and she isn't my mother. I set most examples by the females in my family, as well as the woman I will allow into my life. I don't like it, I tell them. Door, or change. That's it. No conversation, except to get 'why' I think her feminine strategy is BS and to drop it, or me.

A woman + man being together is a JOY, a PLEASURE and should NEVER be a job. I always feel like...it comes back around to LOA and "the secret." You can have a friend who always finds life tough, and you can also have a friend who finds life easy, from every different backgrounds. Friend 1 might always be depressed, and to which you ask, "why are we friends?" Friend 2, you know why you're friends, joy, pleasure, similarities, etc. Friend 1 only reinforces negativity, which, if you ALLOW him or it will infest your life slowly too, because then you've given attention to it, instead of the positive.

So the bottom line is...women don't change, WE DO. We get better. We stop the fire before it happens. WE MAINTAIN control of our reality and take control if it's get out of control. We remain aware that things generally will go wrong, so that we should be prepared, and plan for it, as well as success and nip bytches in the bud before they can become a weed in your life.



A-Unit
 

Vulpine

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Good post, A-Unit.

In my FR, I just posted a little coke scenario... that's the change I needed to make: so it looks I'm already on top of it. This is, remember, a resurrected thread.
 

SoCalMike

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good posts A-unit and johnnyrem.

yeah, if a chick flakes on me for no good reason, or disrespects me it's usually time to say goodbye.

this may sound harsh, but let me tell you - i know what trouble looks like coming from 10 miles away because i HAVE MADE THE MISTAKE OF TOLERATING IT MANY TIMES. it just leads to more misery in the long run. certain behaviours are excusable now and then, but i can spot a pattern of BS quickly.

and the older i get, the less patience i have for BS.

example: met a girl off myspace who lives about 20 minutes from me. we went on one date, didn't go too bad, made out for a bit at the end. i txt msg'd her a compliment "ur a good kisser" and get back "i know". that was a little irritating.

i talked to her on the phone two more times. she'd interrupt me and switch subjects (showing she wasn't listening), and then b*tch and moan endlessly about her problems. totally self-centered and negative behavior.

two times on the phone with this sh*t was enough. i just got quiet for a sec, and then said calmly "i gotta go". she knew what it was about and she started saying "i'm sorry wait no NO" CLICK. never talked to her again. but guess what, she kept calling for about 2 weeks, leaving messages. these messages showed her true colors all the more. like "i'm sorry i was rude but you're immature for ignoring me" blah blah blah. can these dumb b*tches not see that it wasn't a matter of just "being rude" it was an overall personality issue of which constant "rudeness" is merely one symptom?

anyway, i hope she'll think about her phone manners and general attitude for the next guy who comes along, and he should thank me for that. that's what we've got to do fellas. try and straiten these b*tches out somewhat by not tolerating BS. this way we help ourselves as a whole.

vulpine, sorry to turn my reply to your issue into a rant on my own, but i think they're somewhat similar.
 

JustDoItAlways

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The "Are you mad?" sh1t test should be answered with "You're dam4 right I'm mad. I expect any women I put an effort into to not waste my valuable time."

Whenever a chick asks you if you are mad or says I wouldn't blame you if you're mad - she really wants you to be mad, to put her in her place, react like a man.

That means b1tching her out for her bad behaviour, reinforcing that you mean it, then you are supposed to just get over it like a real man would. In addition, you must show sterness but not intense emotional anger.

The "are you mad" sh1t test is designed to see if you are man who will not put up with sh1t but also whether you are a guy who will lose his temper and be dangerous.

Vulpine, you really didn't pass this sh1t test but you didn't fail. B1tch her out the next time she does something like this. It is now too late for the this one, because you are supposed to easily get over these sh1t tests as well.
 

wayword

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johnnyrem said:
Might this not seem like creating distance, which would be "playing games" if a woman did it, but just something you're rationalizing as "DJ tactics" of your own?
Just to make a general point...Tim Alexander says that you can't be manipulated by a woman unless you are trying to manipulate her too.

Which, is kinda true if you think about it. We all have the option to pull out at any time, whenever someone tries to pull a jack move. But when we both stay in and keep playing the Game, it's because we're both trying to gain the upper hand through skillful manipulation, taking advantage of things and countermoves. And if we happen to LOSE at that...then we got "manipulated" or "played."
 

Vulpine

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johnnyrem said:
So I guess I'm thinking that at some point, whoever starts the "disrespect" (and it sounds like it was you) might find that they've gone over the line... Sounds like the same thing here. You both weren't that high on each other's list, so no great loss.
I never set up a date and no call/no showed. That is, I never disrespected her. That's the difference. Life does, sometimes, get in the way. That's not a game. You're right though, no great loss.

SoCalMike said:
i know what trouble looks like coming from 10 miles away because i HAVE MADE THE MISTAKE OF TOLERATING IT MANY TIMES. it just leads to more misery in the long run. certain behaviours are excusable now and then, but i can spot a pattern of BS quickly.

and the older i get, the less patience i have for BS.

two times on the phone with this sh*t was enough.

that's what we've got to do fellas. try and straiten these b*tches out somewhat by not tolerating BS. this way we help ourselves as a whole.

vulpine, sorry to turn my reply to your issue into a rant on my own, but i think they're somewhat similar.
No need to apologize, this is a premium post. There is a "fight or flight" to deal with when you see the crap going on. I agree, whichever route you go, you have to make it understood by the woman it's because of her BS.

JustDoItAlways said:
The "Are you mad?" sh1t test should be answered with "You're dam4 right I'm mad. I expect any women I put an effort into to not waste my valuable time."
Right on. I went the "flight" route with that chick because it wasn't worth the "fight". I'll definitely handle the "Are you mad?" test differently in the future. Thing is, it's hard to feign anger.

I am almost anxious to sh!t tested again.
 

WaterTiger

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Although JustDoItAlways has a very valid point, however I disagree that this was the proper response in THIS peticular situation. Listen closely gentlemen: When a man gets angry, it means he CARES about what happened. If you don't want her to think you care, then calm and easy is the name of the game.

Her: You aren't mad are you?
You: Mad? Naaah! I went out with some pals for drinks. I met this amazing little redhead, she was so cute! Had a great ass too!"

Translation: I had fun without you...and now you have competition.

This is why women do sh!t tests! TO SEE IF YOU'RE PAYING ATTENTION TO US! If you pass the test,(remain calm) we have to work harder to get YOUR attention. If you fail the test (get angry) then we know we don't have to work so hard.

So the next time a chick says: Oh Baby, did I make you angry?
Tell her: No, you silly muffin head, I only get angry at importain things.
 

wayword

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WaterTiger said:
So the next time a chick says: Oh Baby, did I make you angry?
Tell her: No, you silly muffin head, I only get angry at importain things.
Always better to SHOW, not TELL. Implicit, not explicit.

Better reply: Yeaa...kinda...CAN YOU BELIEVE THE KINCKS LOST IN OT Wed night?? Agghh!
I was watching it at Julie's house...and almost spilled my drink on her new bed!
 

d9930380

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I don't see the point in all this except maybe being there for the chase!

One girl I had did **** like this, the truth was I quite liked her but I didn't like her enough to go through all that crap. In the end I just ignored her texts and emails - she got the message.

It's generally insecure, ****ed up by previous experience girls that do this. IMO stay away from those types.

As for the poster who said about girls saying they are "bi" - well the above girl did that too and also a few others I've known. It's not a fad, they're bi because they can't trust men, therefore they like the comfort and security of other women HOWEVER they can't emotionally connect with another girl so if the right guy comes along that they can trust then they can fall just like any other, however these girls generally aren't worth the hassle.
 

WaterTiger

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wayword said:
Always better to SHOW, not TELL. Implicit, not explicit.

Better reply: Yeaa...kinda...CAN YOU BELIEVE THE KINCKS LOST IN OT Wed night?? Agghh!
I was watching it at Julie's house...and almost spilled my drink on her new bed!
Excellent reply!

Like that old commercial used to say :"Never let them see you sweat."
 
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