Anger Management

[Yo'Mama]

So guys I did something stupid yesterday. I rolled up to my usual hunting spot (nightclub) solo. It wasn't a great night, lots of guys and very few attractive women.

I had paid the entrance fee (about 30 Dollars) so decided to stick around for a while. Stupidly though I kept drinking.

I was trying to dance with some girl on the dance floor. This tall French guy who is always at this club hitting on girls put his hand on my shoulder and said 'She don't want' (as in she doesn't want to dance with you). I told him to mind his own business. Then as I was walking of the dance floor I deliberately jostled him. He pushed me and so I hit him. I was drunk and I'm not sure I connected well. The next thing I know is a bouncer was ushering me out of the club. I didn't resist but on the way out this French guy's friend started waving his fist at me. So I cracked him square in the face. The bouncer threw me out of the club and I got in a taxi and went home.

Now before I get flamed I know my actions were stupid. I don't like violence and, before lots of SoSuavers start saying they would have kicked my ass, I don't pretend to be particularly adept at it.

I shouldn't have hit the guy (much less his friend) but it was a combination of his ****blocking, his arrogance and his stupid accent.

Do any of you guys get the rage in clubs like this? If so how do you handle it? I should have just walked away I suppose.

 

[crazyboy]

Since im built like in a nfl linebacker. I don't generally have these problems. But to answer your question crap happens. Its just one of those days where you were stress and lord behold some *******s decide to be **** to you. So instead doing the normal you and ignoring him. You decide to punch him. Your not the first person to be thrown out nor will be the last. Its all good man.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Thanks crazyboy, lol. Yeah it was just one of those days I guess.

 

[Strelok]

You actually did something good for us,if any bully or harrasser would get punched or kicked this would be a better world cause they will cease their behaviour.

Just like when you destroy the ego of a fatgirl that c0ckblock you you make a favor to those coming after you.

I'm sure western europe is full of loudmouth b1tches and bratty bullies just because violence is condemned independently of the reason.
Unlike many people think you get almost no annoyment in more violent places like Russia for the simple fact that people knows the cost of that.
No different than when you take away your son's nintendo if he behave bad.

And do a favor to yourself dont feel bad for that, a provocation needs an answer it worked like that for millenia untill this new wave
of fake moral has been pushed, its wrong to hurt someone when he is innocent with no guilt and you do that out of anger.
Everyone shame people that answer to provocations but they are fake as a 3 dollars coin, just remember that the times where most damages are done
are the marches of the pacifists.

 

[Bible_Belt]

There are clubs with $30 cover charges? I'd be in a bad mood, too.

 

[st_99]

I bet that french guy will do less c0ckblocking in the future.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Thanks guys. I felt stupid for doing what I did but I'm glad people can at least see why I did it.

The thing is I see this guy a lot. He's always out hitting on a different girl each week - fine, good luck to him. The point is though that he felt it was his business to tell me 'She don't want', just because the girl I was trying to dance with (who wasn't complaining by the way) was a friend of the girl he himself was trying to hit on, so I think he was trying to score points.

I just felt really angry, like what the hell business is it of his? And how dare he put his hand on my shoulder like that. It was too much.

Anyway I'll avoid that place for a few weeks. I'd much rather frequent classier places where this kind of thing won't happen. Am getting too old for this meat market type place.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Guys,

I now have an issue. I'm seeing a pretty hot Ukrainian. She wants to hang out on Saturday. She wants to go for drinks with me and then go to the club that I got thrown out of last Saturday (since her best friend wants to meet her there - her friend will be with a guy).

I don't mind this except:

1. It's very likely the guy I had the ruck with on Saturday will be there (the dude is always there). Plus I cracked his mate good and proper and he may feel the need to seek some sort of revenge). I don't particularly want to end up in some confrontation when I'm on a date.

2. The doormen may recognise me and not let me in, which would be embarrassing if I am going in with this girl.

I have tried to steer this girl away from the idea of going to this place, but she seems keen on going and wants me to meet her friend and the guy she's with. I understand that this itself may be a sign of low interest (I have only been on one date with this girl FYI) but that aside, I'm more concerned about how I should handle the situation.

What should I do?!!!

 

[Pierce]

Don't be scared to go back. You checked the dude and the dude never hit you. Just go back and ignore him. If he talks more sh*t though you beat his ass. BTW you did the right thing. Don't ever let anyone disrespect you.. especially if you don't know the person

 

[Amw406]

I'm 220 lbs pretty built so people tend to leave me alone. Here is a tip for successfully picking chicks clubbing. DON'T DRINK an absurd amount. If a girl makes you drink with them. Have the bartender water down your drink or stick to beer.

 

[Amw406]

You can learn a lot from burn notice. This is one lesson that may be helpful to you. Situation is slightly different but its the same general idea.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/2936/burn-notice-avoiding-intoxication#s-p7-sr-i2

 

[vatoloco]

There are clubs with $30 cover charges? I'd be in a bad mood, too.

FUCK, I'd be pissed off too! I'd expect at least a blowjob from a cute barmaid or something...

 

[Groovy]

Let me just say that I am disappointed, in a way, after reading this thread. I am...

This man's body was in a fight or flight situation. His response was instinctive. He couldn't help but to hit him. He didn't have self control, because his nervous system wasn't strong enough(can't say it better). You can see that he is a nice person most of the time. He even said it. "I'm not adept of fighting".

When your system is in fight or flight, your hormones aren't even in the place they should be. You can't think clearly. Can't focus, relax. Don't have your "cool", anxious, burned out. It isn't healthy. It's meant for life or death situations. It's meant when a tiger is chasing you.

"She don't want"
"If you say so".

End of story! I understand your reaction OP. And that's because I myself have made the same mistake as you did. However, it was after months of continuous provocations. You only took one remark... I wonder what is your state. I did bad and so did you. Ok, it sucks to be teased and so. Not saying nothing wouldn't be cool, I agree 100%. But you can't do what you did. It's also illegal. And as you see, more trouble to you. You didn't have to go as far as beating him up, when just an remark would do it, to put him in his place. Or, check this, maybe she DIDN'T want to. Maybe it was an advice. I wasn't there- I don't know. Maybe you were being awkward. Either that or he was being an *******. But my opinion is that you shouldn't have lost your cool. Maybe you can tell him something like:
"If she doesn't want to, she will tell me, she isn't mute, maybe you should be however".

There are lots of responses...

I'd say maybe you should stay home and relax yourself a bit. Don't go out until you straighten yourself out... Quit the booze for a while too. Maybe he will be more calm after a few weeks, having forgotten about this already.

If you choose to go out anyways, remember that you can't control what he does. So you can be in a tough situation... Try to make peace with him somehow... Right now, I don't have better advice for you for that case. Sorry. Good luck.

 

[Strelok]

Guys,

I now have an issue. I'm seeing a pretty hot Ukrainian. She wants to hang out on Saturday. She wants to go for drinks with me and then go to the club that I got thrown out of last Saturday (since her best friend wants to meet her there - her friend will be with a guy).

I don't mind this except:

1. It's very likely the guy I had the ruck with on Saturday will be there (the dude is always there). Plus I cracked his mate good and proper and he may feel the need to seek some sort of revenge). I don't particularly want to end up in some confrontation when I'm on a date.

2. The doormen may recognise me and not let me in, which would be embarrassing if I am going in with this girl.

I have tried to steer this girl away from the idea of going to this place, but she seems keen on going and wants me to meet her friend and the guy she's with. I understand that this itself may be a sign of low interest (I have only been on one date with this girl FYI) but that aside, I'm more concerned about how I should handle the situation.

What should I do?!!!

1)Just go straight to him and punch him again just to make sure he isnt try to c0ck block you with the new girl.

2)Tell him you're a friend of Christopher Moltisanti and he will let you go.

Most important do not take any advice from people that is not informed as you are,trust your gut (like us, 1,2 were humor btw).

 

[irocknike23]

to the OP you suck

i see guys like this at the club all the time and i just dont get it

when you ask a girl to dance and she says no what makes you think begging and nagging is going to work?

 

[Pierce]

Let me just say that I am disappointed, in a way, after reading this thread. I am...

This man's body was in a fight or flight situation. His response was instinctive. He couldn't help but to hit him. He didn't have self control, because his nervous system wasn't strong enough(can't say it better). You can see that he is a nice person most of the time. He even said it. "I'm not adept of fighting".

When your system is in fight or flight, your hormones aren't even in the place they should be. You can't think clearly. Can't focus, relax. Don't have your "cool", anxious, burned out. It isn't healthy. It's meant for life or death situations. It's meant when a tiger is chasing you.

"She don't want"
"If you say so".

End of story! I understand your reaction OP. And that's because I myself have made the same mistake as you did. However, it was after months of continuous provocations. You only took one remark... I wonder what is your state. I did bad and so did you. Ok, it sucks to be teased and so. Not saying nothing wouldn't be cool, I agree 100%. But you can't do what you did. It's also illegal. And as you see, more trouble to you. You didn't have to go as far as beating him up, when just an remark would do it, to put him in his place. Or, check this, maybe she DIDN'T want to. Maybe it was an advice. I wasn't there- I don't know. Maybe you were being awkward. Either that or he was being an *******. But my opinion is that you shouldn't have lost your cool. Maybe you can tell him something like:
"If she doesn't want to, she will tell me, she isn't mute, maybe you should be however".

There are lots of responses...

I'd say maybe you should stay home and relax yourself a bit. Don't go out until you straighten yourself out... Quit the booze for a while too. Maybe he will be more calm after a few weeks, having forgotten about this already.

If you choose to go out anyways, remember that you can't control what he does. So you can be in a tough situation... Try to make peace with him somehow... Right now, I don't have better advice for you for that case. Sorry. Good luck.

The dude disrespected him. I don't know if he needed to take it that far but the OP stood his ground. The fact that he even touched the OP on the shoulder was a big sign of disespect.

The girl wanted to dance with the OP. They were dancing. If the girl said no then it is a totally different story.....

 

[Yo'Mama]

Irock,

I didn't give you enough information to base that judgement on. I wasn't being pushy with the girl. She was being a bit shy and not exactly grinding her ass on me at that point or anything but I was by no means forcing her into an uncomfortable situation.

However on that note I will say that it's hard to know where to draw the line sometimes. When I was younger I had the utmost respect for a woman's personal space. If she didn't seem totally into it immediately I would walk away. However nowadays sometimes I am a bit pushy, yes. And you know what? There have been dozens of times when a girl has been reluctant at first but after me persisting they have been all over me five minutes later.

I'm not just talking about on the dancefloor. One time I was trying to make out with this hot Spanish chick. She turned away once, two, three times. A few minutes later she was begging me to f**k her. Many guys will be able to relate to this.

If I had been assaulting that girl on the dancefloor then I agree, this guy would be justified in stepping in. Similarly if it was a friend of his I could understand him being protective. But this was just some friend of the random ho he was dancing with. And this guy is the biggest sleaze in the town. It really wasn't his place.

That said I do think my behaviour was overboard. Yes if I was a calmer, less edgy person I would have dealt with the situation more suavely. That's why I posted, because I don't want to do this again, even if someone gets in my face. It could have ended up badly, with me being glassed or arrested. It's just not worth it.

Drinking excessively definitely is bad for game. I have to stop it. It's just after a stressful week at work I'm as keen to get wasted as I am to pick up. Unfortunately the two don't always go together that well.

 

[Groovy]

I am not sure if I agree what you wrote... I don't think the problem was in your personality. I think you just have to change your lifestyle, I mean you got to eat better (to deal with stress), maybe try some herbs or vitamin supplements for stress. I prefer natural things like herbs but I can't think of any ones right now, but maybe try these supplementshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B_vitamins, I've been taking them myself and I don't know if it will help for your stress, but I am a vegetarian and it has b12 so I take them. But I read they are supposed to help, I'm not doctor, however, to be sure... Do do some Yoga or Tai Chi, these can be great I tell you, or even just a walk in the part for 20 minutes can be good... Of course, if you had a lot and lot of self control, you could have avoided it, but it would be very hard. That's just my opinion however.

 

[BettorOffSingle]

Thanks guys. I felt stupid for doing what I did but I'm glad people can at least see why I did it.

The thing is I see this guy a lot. He's always out hitting on a different girl each week - fine, good luck to him. The point is though that he felt it was his business to tell me 'She don't want', just because the girl I was trying to dance with (who wasn't complaining by the way) was a friend of the girl he himself was trying to hit on, so I think he was trying to score points.

I just felt really angry, like what the hell business is it of his? And how dare he put his hand on my shoulder like that. It was too much.

Anyway I'll avoid that place for a few weeks. I'd much rather frequent classier places where this kind of thing won't happen. Am getting too old for this meat market type place.

I'm as anti-violence as it gets. I used to RUN from fights I could easily have won, becuase I lived on the upper east side of Manhattan (living well is the best revenge), had too much to lose, didn't want to get my Mom sued, didn't want to wind up in the hospital, and NO ONE IS BULLETPROOF.

With that said, the guy technically ASSAULTED you first when he put his hand on your shoulder. Younger guys often tolerate this but it's incredibly INTRUSIVE behavior, an attempt at physical domiannce, and the ONLY correct response is a strong physical rebuff (though not a punch). The best thing to do is yank his hand off your shoulder, give him a death stare as you say "do not EVER touch me" and just leave it at that. As for the girl, I'd have turned to him and said "Let's ask her." Then ask her "He says you don't want me. Is he correct?" To be even more alpha, walk away without waiting for the answer.

In my youth, I was bullied three times. All of them turned out to be FAGGOTS. Why'd they bully me? Gave them an excuse to TOUCH me. I owndered why they would separately try to be my friend at another time, but was too brainwashed by people calling it "homoPHOBIA," which is total bullcrap. Gays are SEXUAL TERRORISTS who prey on straight men by LYING about their orientation. A guy, especially a good-looking one, who is "beta" or sensitive, would be smart to assume that ANY male who approaches them for ANY reason is GAY. Looking back, it is SO obvious when I was being hit on (playing chess in the west village didn't help), and this is also why I recommend isolation from other men. Nothing good can come from it. A smart beta operates in isolation, so he BEGINS in isolation when he meets a chick. I never had to worry about isolating even the super-elites because I was never hanging around anyone else when I met them. HUGE advantage.

On the closeted freak topic again, this ONE guy who was also obviously gay in retrospect once did something that now would have caused me to deck him or even put him in the hospital. He went to shake my hand, and I shook his, but then he took his FINGER and RUBBED MY PALM with it, as a crappy attempt at some NLP anchor bullcrap. I did pull the hand away with a "WTF?" but the response was too soft. With today's knowledge he'd have been lucky not to have wound up in a coma. I have NO tolerance for closeted faggots running game on me, but now it's not an issue since I'm old and fat. I cringe at what I see young guys so oblivious too, in the name of "brotherhood." All this "male bonding" garbage dates back to Ancient Greece, as it gave gay men an excuse to get physical with their "targets." A guy really has to deprogram himself not to be brainwashed by this garbage. Oh yeah, a month after the "finger" incident, this faggot actually adjusted his pants while I happened to be looking in his general direction and did something so digusting I won't even repeat it. It's amazing how faggots prey on straight guys if the straights let them. DOn't!

For more information, look up the "clueless or gay rule" in my book. Every man needs to understand this, lest he "mancrush" on another guy or wind up "mandating" because he is sick of the difficulty presented by the opposite sex.

A final note: paying $30 to get into a club where you have to hit on women in full view of AMOGs like that is the reason I stopped running game in bars at sixteen. Bars are best if you go there with someone, as part of an interesting life, not a place to build that life, or be the "furniture."

Ray Gordon
Bettor Off Single: Why Commitment Is A Bad Gamble For Men
http://www.toosmarttofail.com/bos.pdf
FREE!

 

[Thundernuts]

Listen. A real man has self control over himself, he doesn't lose his cool. I almost got into a fight with some new guy at work because he keeps getting into my face. I got dumped this week. I bought a truck that i can't drive, and to top it all off im probably gonna lose my job. This guy told me to fxck off at the wrong moment and i was about to beat the crap out of him but i didn't. I walked into my lunch room and started to breathe some of the fire out of my lungs.

The best way to stay in control is dont put yourself in situations where u can lose it. Alcohol has a tendency to make us all do dumb things but your gonna have to take responsibility for what you did and either tell this girl what happened or go to the club and see if u can even get in.

As far as handling the situation with the french man and his fist-waving friend, its okay to go for the groin as long as its not a fair fight.