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Am I the only one who finds socializing EXHAUSTING?

Alle_Gory

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Wildebeest said:
im an introvert; but im a 'moderately expressed introvert'
Im trying to rebel against it.

the test gave me INTJ personality type
I get a different score based on my mood and the test itself. If I look through my journals I've been all over the place and it's very random. Ideally I feel comfortable in the gray area between an extrovert and an introvert.

Point is, live your life and don't worry about it. So you want to "rebel" against a perceived quality you have, only problem is that it's not a quality. You're not an introvert. You are what you choose. Don't place any importance and don't waste time and energy to change something which doesn't exist. If you want to talk and be loud and sociable then do it. If you want to sit and think then do that.
 

She makes you weak in the knees.

But she won't give you the time of day.

Here is how to get her.

omkara

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Konada said:
Introvert is just a term to describe people who need to spend time alone more. I myself am an introvert. It has nothing to do with how far you can socialise with everyone. For me, I still attend parties and stuff but I bail once I feel my energy levels drop low so I don't go into a recluse state. You might want to try that some time, keep your outings short and simple. That way, people see you at your best and you don't have to worry about being that odd one out in the group.
This is the way I tend to socialize. I enjoy interacting with others in small doses, but I run out of stuff to say. I only want people to see me when I'm 'on,' or focused on a task. I usually run out of stuff to say on a date after 2 hrs, and then become boring after the 2nd date.

Of course there are things that I could do to improve this. Certain addictive habits like drinking and... other things release dopamine so that you do not get as much of a dopamine spike from interacting with others. So yeah, cutting down on drinking and stuff like that is part of my intermediate term plans to improve this.

Being introverted is not worse than being extroverted, but in our culture it is a huge disadvantage. For example, Pook apparently said that an extroverted nice guy will do better with girls than an introverted DJ. He simply has more opportunities. Western society majorly overvalues extorversion and undervalues the quiet, dedicated, hard worker and thinker or what have you. So it is best to adapt as much as possible, while drawing on the strengths that introverts have. For example, I may not talk as much as others or be as energetic, but I can be deeper and more interesting in small doses - and try to work on the areas like social energy and spontaneity, where I am at a disadvantage compared to extroverts.
 

JonJaper

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As an afterthought...like others on here have said, it might have something to do with the people you hang out with.

Deep down I am extrovert (although over the years I let myself be influenced by other people's opinions and tried to be 'nice' and accomodating LOL)....but when I am around certain people, I feel mentally exhausted.

I personally hate stupidity. If someone says something which shows ignorance, that gets to me. Conversation about celebrities, reality TV etc also piss me off.

Also if people are in a group and are being really cliquey and basically talking about in-jokes or things that happened at an event where you had to be there or you had to be in their friend circle to have any idea of what they're talking about (so they're indirectly excluding you)....yep, you guessed it, that grinds my gears too. OR where I'm around guys talking about girls they think are hot yet these guys are too pu$$y to approach the girls (who are sometimes standing near them).

I find such situations exhausting. And you know what? There's nothing wrong with it.

So OP, if your situation is similar where certain situations are exhausting but others aren't...it doesn't matter. There's nothing wrong with having preferences and opinions. Don't try and change your self identity because of mainstream opinion.
 

DonGorgon

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Alle_Gory said:
In the male world socializing is called "networking", it's just the same thing really.

Enough with the women this and women that. You give them far too much credit.
i gave them nothing.. fact is when each women have 50 men chasing her she has power and thats a fact .. so only the top alpha males will be happy and confident that they will easily get women..
 
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