Am I being Insecure?

[Glenfiddich101]

Hi Guys

I've been in an excluisive relationship for a few months now. thnigs are moving along fine, sex is great and we enjoy each other's company.

However i'm not sure if some of my doings are a reflection of my insecurities.

1.) I've read here that its good to have some minimal social proof in a LTR. I think i was doing fine in the begniing, letting her know that i'm wanted by other girls as well. But i might have been doing it too often and yesterday she took my words and used it on me just to spite me. I knew she didnt mean what she said but the feeling wasnt good on my part. I guess i derserved it. I was being too ****y.

2.) Whenever i'm in a relationship, i place emphasis on her safety and well being. So i told her its polite to inform each other of our plans for the day if we werent meeting up, or if she's coming back later than usual. Nothing detailed, just casual. However, she always forgets and this pisses me off. If i were to make a fuss of it, it make me seems petty. And if i ignore it, thats not how it works in my relationship. Another thing is she takes forever to return my sms. I've waited 6 hrs before. I know we are both busy at work but having to wait that long is pushing it.

3.) She doesnt express much affection verbally, but she holdsd me alot when we are together. She says that shes not the romantic kind and it takes awhile for her to warm up.
Is this normal for chicks? I'm affectionate verbally/physically with my gfs and so were they. Arent girls suppose to be more into this than men?

4.) I can be pretty paranoid and overtly sensitive at times. Esp if she mentions something abt her past or some guy. I'll just start thinking of all the possible scenarios and that ****s up my head pretty bad. How do i get rid of this stupid **** behaviour

Sometimes i feel that i might be asking for too much too early. But somehow, i feel that its no point having a relationship if the girl doesnt share the same values/rules as me. I donno. I'm sortof confused as well.

Appreciate if you guys can straighten out my thoughts for me.

Thank you

CS

 

[penkitten]

past is past. it makes a person who they are. if there was anything left over from one of her past relationships.. she would be with them and not you.

 

[PocoDiablo]

1. You did not provide enough details for a good answer.
What did you do? Details please.

2. You are treating her like a 5 year old. I'd be pissed if I were her. Knock it off.

Also, I *strongly* believe that SMS is bad news for men. You cannot see her reactions and are just ASKING for trouble. Email can be just as bad.

You are trying to keep her on an electronic leash. Get a dog instead.

3. Actions speak louder than words. Who cares what she says so long as she comes home to you every night?

4. Our past is what makes us who we are. But focusing on it makes you ignore the current or the future. You need to stop saying "Oh she did this in the past" and say "Oh what would she do if I brought this crap up? Probably not be very happy with me... Maybe I better shut my mouth."

Sometimes women do things just to test you. Sounds like you are failing - IMO - and need to man up.

So, yeah, you are being insecure, and it is going to drive her away. Act like a man - whether or not you feel like one - and everything will be fine.

 

[Big Boi]

Hmm...

 

[Chemistry]

Yes...

The very fact you posted this thread with the breakdown shows just how insecure you are being...



Advice... don't forget how to live like a single male... operate in the knowledge that she can take care of herself etc and make her pine for the things she wants from you... I don't know about you but when I'm with a girl and everythin is on a plate, I get what I want and tend to move on out of boredom... where the challenge at!?

 

[MindOverMatter]

Whenever i'm in a relationship, i place emphasis on her safety and well being. So i told her its polite to inform each other of our plans for the day if we werent meeting up, or if she's coming back later than usual. Nothing detailed, just casual. However, she always forgets and this pisses me off. If i were to make a fuss of it, it make me seems petty. And if i ignore it, thats not how it works in my relationship. Another thing is she takes forever to return my sms. I've waited 6 hrs before. I know we are both busy at work but having to wait that long is pushing it.

Wow, you are clingy as hell, knock this off man, it's annoying and I'm 100% sure she hates it (hence why she doesn't answer back right away). As for you, why do you wait 6 hrs for her to msg you back? Don't you have anything better to do then wait on her? Spend some time with your boys, go out, have fun. Give the girl some air.

I can be pretty paranoid and overtly sensitive at times. Esp if she mentions something abt her past or some guy. I'll just start thinking of all the possible scenarios and that ****s up my head pretty bad. How do i get rid of this stupid **** behaviour

Listen man, you've mentioned your social proof, that's hers. If you're gonna do it to her, be ready for when she does it to you. If you're gonna try to make the other person feel jealous in order to make them more interested in you, be prepared for them to do it to you. If you play with fire, you may get burned. Simple as that.

Also, every girl, not just this one, will have a past. You can either accept the fact that other guys have f*cked her brains out before you even met her, or you can swear off dating until you find a virgin lol. Don't let her past make you jealous, only focus on the future.